I’m First Runner-Up for Mr. Leather Ottawa 2018! And Also, Cancelled Guatemala Trip, Some Work Woes, Escape Rooms, Bodily Pains, & Friends

Hi!

 

It’s a slow Saturday, and I’m sitting in my bed writing this. To be honest, I’m feeling a bit down – which is likely due to the fact that I am currently idle and isolated at home. Didn’t do anything social last night, either, so it was a quiet Friday spent in. Not my ideal, even if I have been (over)tired recently. But as a huge extrovert, you already know that I recharge and re-energize with other people, not solo. So spending my Friday night all alone is not the way to make me feel better. Fortunately, I have plans to look forward to tonight and tomorrow – so I just have to get through the next couple hours, and why not be productive in that time? I should probably go outside and get some fresh air / sunlight – but it’s cloudy and it’ll be dark by 4:30 (in 2 hours), so what’s the point?

Last night, I left work, went to the gym, got groceries, cooked a homemade delicious pizza, and finished Big Brother 17 while looking for plans. Nothing came through, so I also finished the book I was reading (Fierce Kingdom) and started watching Dragula Season 1. BB17 was good, though the winner didn’t really deserve it. I enjoyed the novel too, but as Odessa said – it was a page-turner but not really a good book. Nothing much happened and the writing wasn’t amazing or anything. Dragula is great so far – I love spooky Halloween drag (like the performance to My Immortal on Halloween Saturday at Lookout) – but definitely lower production value than RPDR. Although, I suppose I haven’t watched the first season of that, so maybe it’s on par with each other. Either way, I’m liking Dragula. I saw Loris perform at Montreal Pride and she was great – so it’s cool to see more of her.

As for the gym, well – I’ve cut my workouts in half. My right thigh/glute/hip flexor/IT band has been sore and tight and stiff constantly since May. Which is when I started biking everywhere and when I re-became a gymgoer, so I’m not really sure which is the root of the problem. But I am sure that continuing to squat and deadlift lots of weight is not going to ameliorate anything, so I’m laying off those. Simultaneously, I’ve somehow strained both front deltoids (probably because I had started to do shoulder press again, but since my gym doesn’t have a cable machine for that, I was just using a barbell) – so I’m also not doing any chest or shoulder press anymore. Even doing push-ups at yoga this past Thursday made them twinge. SO, that only leaves triceps, biceps, back, and core- half my original workout. So now I do them in 3 supersets, going from one to the next to the next without rest. And I threw in some pull-ups at the end, just because I don’t feel I’m doing enough. Although I can only do them with my fingers facing me, as the other way involves the shoulders too much, I think.

Ugh! It’s so frustrating! It makes me feel guilty because I don’t think I’m doing enough to better myself/my fitness. I want to push myself… But I guess that’s likely the reason I’m in this situation in the first place. Another piece of the puzzle is how I pay $50+ per month for this gym, and if I skip a session, then that’s just money down the drain. Guh.

But anyway, it’s not like I’m a couch potato otherwise. Volleyball continues to be amazing – I’m improving each week (currently learning how to spike hard) and meeting new people and having a great time. Still do yoga every Thursday, but to be honest, I’m falling out of love with that. Same with the gym. They often feel like a chore more than something I look forward to. But I’ll keep them up until the holidays, and then will see how I feel in the new year, after two weeks off. And hopefully that will have given my muscles sufficient time to rest and heal – otherwise I really need to see a sports therapist. I’m not trying to give myself permanent damage!! That’s something I need to figure out at work: my benefits, and when they kick in.

 

…

 

So now it’s 1:30 on Sunday. I did go out for a walk and to do some errands yesterday. It was surprisingly mild out, if wet, and it definitely helped my mood. I got some tingz from Dollarama (salsa con queso, yum, #treatyoself) and some adult beverages for last night and a great pair of slippers from Winners! They were only $13 and will certainly come in handy over the holidays, in the cold Nova Scotia house. I also ran into Dave Greener, the sweetheart from my volleyball team, and was generally productive.

Then came home, heated up my leftovers, watched more Dragula, drew a winged eyeliner, and biked down to the market to celebrate Eric’s birthday!! We went to Jigsaw Escape Rooms to start, with Yves, Nick, and Kaeli. It was my first escape room, if you can believe that! Seems right up my alley, and I don’t really know what took me so long to go for the first time! But I had a lot of fun, so I expect I’ll do another in the near future.

We did the one called “The Study,” and as soon as the worker started the timer, I was thinking, “…that’s it?” We were left in one room and given almost no instructions and left to our own devices. But I guess that’s the point of an escape room, right? You look everywhere through it and try to figure out the mystery! There were puzzles and padlocks keeping various drawers closed, which held clues and evidence and other stuff! So fun. We did succeed at solving the murder, although it was right down to the literal last minute. Still a W in my book – so now my success rate is 100%! Get @ me.

Then we went to Eric’s apartment for some games. Predominately Werewolves (which I didn’t love as much as normal, but I attribute that to the voting/hanging method that he and Mark favoured, in contrast to what I’m accustomed to), but also this fun “high-stakes” version of Charades! I only knew two people there (the host + Hris), but I still had a great time – and met a bunch of new people! Maybe I could even say I made a bunch of new friends, but perhaps only time will tell about that! But really, it was a fantastic night, infinitely better than my Friday.

And today should also be wonderful! In an hour, Christian + Elena are coming over for board games, and possibly Colum too. Dominion is likely on the menu (as I now have access to Base + Intrigue + Dark Ages + Empires), but there’s also Scrabble, Serenissima, Cranium, Betrayal at House on the Hill… I haven’t written about this yet, but Mum and Dad came to visit en route to Ontario/Ohio, and they magnanimously brought a bunch of my stuff from Nova Scotia! Clothing and decorations and books and board games! What amazing people they are ❤

I’ll also gym and cook lunches for the week and do some work for Lambda today. Gotta get all that stuff done before Monday comes and I’m super busy again! Might hang out with Jason & Chris later too, or catch up with Jess/Vic. Lots of options! And what’s on the roster for this week? The same old – trivia and volleyball and yoga and the gym and the office – but ALSO, Dean, Colum, Luke, & I are starting Pandemic Legacy Season 2!! On Tuesday. I’m so damn excited for this, and to see them all again. Should be phenomenal! (But I suppose I should manage my expectations, because they are my kryptonite)

 

So! Since I wrote last, a lot has changed. Of course, like always. I sometimes wonder if I should stop this blog altogether, since I only find/make time to update so infrequently – which means the posts are so damn long. For now, I’ll stick with it – and possibly (but not probably) update more often, so it’s more manageable and not as daunting – but anyway.

If you only follow my life on here, and not on social media / IRL, then you must be dying to hear all about how Guatemala and El Salvador were! Well, I’m here to tell you that… They didn’t happen. I know, devastating. I booked the flights on a Monday, after double-checking with my supervisor that the start date for my next contract would not get any earlier. She said it wouldn’t, so I pulled the trigger and did my research and got all excited for it. And then I go into the office the next day, and lo and behold… It moved up. Somehow.

So I was stuck in a real bind, needing to decide what to do. The start date was still not nailed down, and I didn’t want to cancel my trip on a maybe, thereby screwing myself in the process… But I also didn’t want to miss out on any opportunities or let my team down. Career is my priority, and I know there’s so much work to be done. I do want to help my colleagues out, share the load, and not leave them out to dry as I’m gallivanting away in Central America. But if I didn’t take the trip now, then when could I take it? I’d totally be within my rights to go anyway, since I did my due diligence, checking and confirming before purchasing the tickets.

It was a lot to think about, and you know how tough it is for me to make big decisions sometimes. My supervisor did assure me it wouldn’t change anything or upset anyone if I did end up boarding that plane, but I didn’t want to invite bad karma or give them/anyone any reason not to think the best of me. I talked it over with Dad on the phone, but even before that – I had the deep sense that the decision was already made. I can travel whenever in the future, whereas this opportunity (which includes a promotion and becoming a full public servant, which numerous people have told me is quite the accomplishment) doesn’t come along every day.

So I called United Airlines and managed to get a full refund on the tickets, fortunately. It had to be done. Like CT said to Diem on Duel 2, “Career first, remember?”

…but how it all shook out is that, if I did go through with the trip, I would have only missed one day of work (for which I could’ve used my accrued time in lieu). Things move slowly in government. I finished my casual on November 1^st, and before I booked the flights, the start date would’ve been the 15^th (or maybe even later). And then I found out the day after I bought the tickets that the commencement moved up to the 8^th or 9^th. So I cancelled Guatemala out of good faith… And then I only began my new contract on November 14^th, as the 13^th was the statutory holiday for Remembrance Day. Mmmmf. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Frustrating.

Regardless, no sense in being upset about it anymore. It’s nobody’s fault but bureaucracy, and I know there was no malice. It’s just annoying because I missed out on a great trip because I wanted to do the right thing and help people out… And it was all essentially for naught. But it’s fine, no big deal.

So that’s that. Guatemala didn’t happen. Instead, I did the same old, same old. Of course, I enjoyed trivia and volleyball (and hanging out at the Lieutenant’s Pump afterward!) and relaxing / resting up / watching Big Brother / hanging with friends / reading. There was an opportunity for me to ride with Mum & Dad and spend a couple days in Toronto, but I opted not to do that, either. I wanted to sleep in my bed and redecorate my apartment (with all the things my parents so graciously brought up to Ottawa) and clean up before Jared got back.

So my roughly two weeks off were not anything spectacular, but that’s legit okay. I still enjoyed myself, and I’ll have my vacation in less than a month’s time – back in NS with Mum, Dad, Roz, and the extended family ❤ Again, no use getting upset over something that was out of my control. I can also rest assured that I did the right thing, and maybe I’ll get my karmic recompense for that in the future sometime.

Gotta dash for now – friends are almost here and I have to put clothes on! (And don’t be scandalized – my apartment is always hot, as I have no control over the heat here, and I’m sitting in bed with my door closed anyway)

 

Now it’s a quiet, snowy, Sunday night. Just in from the gym, which actually went well this time! Still managed 7 pull-ups, and the time there passed pretty quickly. Three supersets and no warming up cuts down on time! It’s so much more manageable that way. Maybe, after I see that sports/physiotherapist, I’ll start dividing my workouts into different days for different muscle groups. Then it wouldn’t be such a chore. We’ll see.

I also started doing each arm individually with the bicep curl machine, and it’s stark how much stronger my right side is! Damn you, volleyball, for this strength disparity!

Now I’m just sitting on the couch, tip-tapping away at this. Had my protein shake and don’t feel like making dinner or meal prepping for the week just yet, so some relaxation will do.

Games with Christian and Elena went great. We played two rounds of Dominion (one Base + Dark Ages, the other Intrigue + Dark Ages) and then Scrabble. I somehow pulled out all 3 wins, so that’s cool. More importantly, though, it was a lovely way to spend an afternoon! Yay!

 

What to talk about now? Last weekend, I competed in the Mr. Leather Ottawa competition, and got First Runner-Up. It was a relatively last-minute decision to participate, but I’m very glad I did. It was a lot of fun, I performed well, and I met a bunch of new people. The competition lasted 2-ish days: Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday morning. I spent the entire week and a half prior, preparing and researching and planning. I learned so much about leather history and the community, to make sure I was informed if any questions about it came up in the interview or Q&A section. I practiced my talent portion and put together my outfits and recruited somebody to be my scene partner and invited friends to the competition. It took a lot of time, but I really enjoyed having something to work towards and aspire to. You know how competitive I am, so I was getting into that headspace.

Then Friday came around, and it was all systems go. I rushed home from work and started getting ready. The first event was a cocktail hour with Spearhead, the leather group in Toronto – but I was told not to go until my contact (Thierry, the show producer) arrived there. But then I got impatient and was just going to go over myself – gotta fake it ‘til you make it, right? – and then I heard there was a power outage. So clearly that wasn’t meant to be, but I wish it would’ve been.

So my first event was at the Legion, where the competition took place all weekend. There was a mixer, a dinner, and then a “Meet the Meat” – where the judges and competitors were introduced to everybody, and we did a silly little activity (reach into a bag and tell the audience how we would use it on the judges). I got to meet my co-contestants (Andre, Mario, and Christian) and the judges (Dean, Jeremy, Robert, Beth, and Adam). I had met Andre at volleyball the previous week, and I know Dean and Adam too. Off to an auspicious start, right? There was the Bootblack Ottawa (BBO) competition going on that weekend, so I met the two people running for that – Shelli and Mike – and some of their judges too (Keven and Henry).

We ate dinner and I was schmoozing. Though I was a bit reserved, because I didn’t want it to come off as disingenuous or brown-nose too much. The cold shoulder technique works sometimes, you know? Lots of cool people to meet, though, and I enjoyed my night. Didn’t stay too much after the event finished, though, since Saturday was gonna be a long day. So I headed out, hung out at Jayme’s for a bit, popped in T’s (but didn’t see any of the judges or competitors), then went home to crash.

The Meet the Meat accounted for 10% of our score, and the next component, the private interview, for 30%. I went to the cute B&B they were staying in the next morning and made small talk with the others in the front room as I awaited my turn to sit with the judges. I was definitely nervous, but I couldn’t really let that on… So I did some diaphragmatic breathing exercises and reviewed the notes I had taken and tried to put myself in a positive, self-assured, happy headspace. And it worked out!

I think I did very well at the interview. It was supposed to be a half hour, but I was chatting with them for 40 minutes. I made them laugh and gave some learned answers, to demonstrate how knowledgeable I am. I discussed how I believe in harm reduction strategies and how, while we have significantly liberated our community, it’s still important to have various social groups and establishments for people to feel the most comfortable. I might be totally at ease being myself in a straight bar, but that’s not the case for everybody. They asked me about RuPaul’s Drag Race and who I think should have won All-Stars 2 (Alaska), and they asked how I would integrate trans people into the leather community. I had to tell them about myself and explain why I decided to compete in MLO, and what I would do if I earned the title. I discussed the networks I could capitalize on (Lambda, GOV, GayZone, Start Proud, Queers and Beers, my job) as a titleholder, and I laid out my weekly routine. And given how busy I am / how I’m always “on,” am I ever “off,” and/or what do I do in my spare time? So I talked about how, as a huge extrovert, I recharge with other people – but I also have a lot of solitude in my life, because not everybody is as social as I am, and we all have our own things going on.

There were other questions too, but I don’t remember them all. Oh! Of course. The stereotypical interview question. “What are your strengths and weaknesses?” So I said how humility is definitely not my strength, and a lot of people think I’m overconfident. But I explained how I’ve struggled with self-consciousness a lot in my life, but I’ve reached a point (after starting over when I moved to Montreal, and Glasgow, and Ottawa) that I am very aware of my strengths (and am self-assured in them), but also cognizant of my weaknesses – which are impatience, timeliness, and how my humour is often (mis)interpreted as mean-spirited, when in fact it’s sarcastic and dry and deadpan. As for my pluses, I told them how I was always known for my intelligence growing up, and I think I’m clever and funny and friendly.

Et cetera, et cetera. Like I said, it was a 40-minute interview, but it went well. I enjoyed it. Then I swung back home to change outfits (as I had twelve damn looks over the weekend), then headed back to the Legion for rehearsal. And as I waited for my time to come, I checked out the leather swap (which is more of a leather sale, not sure why they call it a “swap,” but I digress) and found some great things! A pair of leather shorts, a leather armband, a nipple ring, and a rubber harness and armband! Most of it for really cheap, too! It was amazing.

I practiced my talent portion/fantasy scene with Garry, as Tim was not available, and that also went swimmingly. Much better than I expected! Then we learned how the entire show would go, and did a dry run, then I got my boots shined by Shelli, and finally went on home. I hadn’t eaten since before the interview, and with all the nerves and biking through the winter storm, I was hungry. I had some leftover teriyaki stirfry and caught all up with the darling Torchic, who came to visit Ottawa and attend the show over the weekend! What a sweetheart!

We kiki’d and I inhaled my food and I told her about how the weekend was going so far. I showed her all my looks for that night and practiced my speech with her and drank some wine, and then, pretty soon, I had to dash back to the Legion for dinner! And to report back to Dean and Beth for the homework they both gave me during the interview! (About Unholy Harvest and how many MLO winners placed in the top 10 at International Mr. Leather)

After dinner it was the show. We got changed into our Full/Formal Leather look, were brought up on stage, and gave our speech. I had practiced this with Torch numerous times and had written it and videotaped myself doing it the night prior… And still, I didn’t feel ready. We only had two minutes to make it, and I had so much to say! I wanted to make sure I mentioned all the right things and didn’t exceed the time limit and still spoke slowly and enunciated everything. Lots riding on it, considering how high the stakes were! As a new person to Ottawa and the community, I was definitely the underdog. I was the youngest competitor by several years (nobody else was in their twenties), and definitely the greenest – and also the fittest. But I have experience with public speaking (from hosting trivia etc) and am competitive and with more charm, charisma, and stage presence than the average person, so I thought my chances were good. Regardless, I wanted to make sure I did my absolute best in every portion of the competition – leave it all on the field so I have nothing to regret.

All four of us were on stage during the speeches, so we got to hear what everybody else said. Could definitely be easy to get psyched out. And I was arbitrarily assigned to be the fourth in the order, so I got to listen to everybody’s speech before it was my turn. But I wasn’t cowed. I put on a smile and exuded confidence and was my expressive, emphatic self. I talked about a bunch of things – my extensive social networks, my experience with education and community-building, the niche I fill and how I want to contribute to the destigmatization of leather/fetish and help mainstream it, and also broaden the idea/aesthetic of what a “Leatherman” is – and made an effort not to repeat myself. Because of my nerves, I spoke fast, but I do believe I was still intelligible. And when all was said and done – I didn’t even use the entire two minutes! Aarghh! But I did hear from some audience members that my speech was the best.

Then, we were taken off the stage to change into our next look – and while we were doing this, there was an erotic/acrobatic performance by Manuel Sky, Skyy Knox, and his boyfriend. Wish I could’ve seen it, but it was a mad rush to take off the Full/Formal look and get into the next ensemble: the Minimal look. But I managed.

We went back on stage, and it was the Q&A portion. Again, we could hear what all the others said, which made things more nerve-racking. However! It was entertaining to do so. The questions we had were of a hilariously large range. Mario was asked if he were a tree, which tree would he be (“A mighty oak”); and Christian had to describe his perfect date (and he didn’t make the April 25^th joke! what!). But both Mario’s and my questions were more in-depth. I forget his, but I was asked what I would do if I were selected as Mr. Leather Ottawa. Definitely a quality question, and it allowed more to go into more detail and explain my aspirations. We had two minutes for our response (like the speech). I’m happy that’s what I was asked, as it allowed me to showcase more of myself than a relatively gay-forward question.

Also heard from various people that my response was one of the best, if not the best one of the four of us. Maybe they were biased (as it was friends telling me this), but I do think I did well too. Andre made the audience laugh and was still sincere, so he also knocked it out of the park. The entire weekend, I knew it was between him and me. We were neck-and-neck the whole time. He had competed in MLO 22 years ago, against 6 other competitors, and earned first runner-up then. As compared to me, who had never attended an event like this, let alone competed for the title. So it was a great battle the entire time.

The speech and the Q&A portion each accounted for 20% of the overall score, with the final component being the fantasy scene, also for 20%. Which was up next. Fortunately, we were not on stage to witness everyone else’s performance, because that definitely would have psyched me out. I went back and changed into all the layers I used for my talent portion (a burlesque scene to the 30 Seconds to Mars cover of “Bad Romance”), made sure Tim was ready, and then worked hard to get in the smouldering, totally self-assured headspace – so I could convey that during my act.

And then before you know it, it was time for my fantasy scene! It was all a rush and I don’t think it was the best run-through, but considering I was in front of a whole crowd of strangers (standing room only!) and definitely nervous, I’m not upset about it. It still went well and people did enjoy it, and it’s not like I catastrophically messed it up or anything. I didn’t rush through it or really struggle with any of the moves or tricks, so I’m pleased.

And then, when that was all finished, there was nothing else for me to do. I gave it my all, and now it was up to the judges to decide. They took an half hour to deliberate, I changed into my next look (for the announcement of the winners), and then I went around and said hello the wonderful people who came to see me – Torch, her friend Jamie, Jean-Paul, Bryan, George, and Matt. Jason + Phillip + Anthony + Mike were there too, and Tim, of course. Plus, I got to chat with the new friends I had made, and generally mill about, on tenterhooks, awaiting the judges’ decision. It was so hot in the room, and I had been so sweaty and nervous and busy all day – so by the time my performances were done and I didn’t have to worry anymore, I just felt exhausted. Still anxious to find out who took the title, but all the fatigue caught up to me fast.

But pretty soon, it was time to return to the stage for the coronation (not that we won a crown, but still, I’m trying to use that #vernacular). As I was lined up in the hallway, waiting for our cue, Thierry walked by, tapped me on the shoulder, and gave me a huge smile. So, a clue to say that I won?! What!!

Then we went on stage, and I had a huge smile on my face, self-assured and proud. First, the MCs announced the first runner-up, and Dominique met my eyes… And that’s when I knew I actually didn’t win 😦

However! I am not upset. Of course, I was a bit disappointed, since I fully expected to go in and Violet Chachki my way all the way to the top (that is, being young and cocky but still winning), and I had nothing but confidence in myself and my strengths… But the actual Mr. Leather Ottawa 2018, Andre, fully deserves it. He’s been in Ottawa and the community here much longer than I; he competed before; he fulfills the leather aesthetic/archetype more than I do; his fantasy scene was better (and more salacious) than mine; and he’s still a great, sweet, warm guy. Totally happy that he won, because he’s a good person. I really enjoyed getting to know him over the weekend.

And although I am slightly disappointed, it’s not like I let myself down. I know I couldn’t really have done any better in any section of the competition. I served twelve lewks, killed the interview/speech/Q&A, and performed great in my fantasy scene (even if it wasn’t all that prurient). But I’m new to the scene and to the city, I’m young and less experienced, and I would even admit myself that I don’t look exactly like what most people would consider a Leatherman. So I’m not pissed or anything. There was just some dissonance between my expectations and the reality – my kryptonite.

Anyhow! By the time we found out the results is when the exhaustion really hit me. I still hung out at the Legion for a while afterward, kept Tim company down by the VIP Lounge, and hugged and thanked all the judges I could find. Everybody wanted to congratulate me, and I was more than happy to oblige them all 🙂 Felt great. (Except this is when people told me I came across as too cocky during my spoken portions, which may have been my downfall. I like to think that wasn’t the issue, though, since I did explain that to the judges earlier, and I did showcase some vulnerability.)

But then I was beat like a well-made-up face, so I walked through the ice storm back home, relaxed with Torch a little, and then had an amazing and much-deserved slumber.

The next morning was the community brunch. I sat with Shelli / Mike / Keven (MLO 2015) / Mario / Jeremy Feist and enjoyed myself. We also received our prizes at this event, which I didn’t expect but was so happy about! My gift bag was ridiculously big and therefore exciting 😛 The winners and the first runner-ups (Andre, Shelli, Mike, and I) all gave a lil speech, and hopefully mine wasn’t braggacious… Although I did say something like, “It’s been great showing you all what I have to offer, and you can catch me here again next year!” Whoops.

But really, it was a lovely morning and a wonderful way to send off all the competitors, visitors, volunteers, and everybody who made the weekend a scintillating success.

 

…And that’s that! I’m First Runner-Up for Mr. Leather Ottawa 2018! And will likely run again next year, and/or for Mr. Leather with NCLP (National Capital Leather Pride) before that. Time will tell, but I had a great experience with it – so pourquoi pas?

 

And now I’m over 5300 words and, despite having more to discuss, will wrap it up here. Gotta get ready for trivia anyhow (it is now Monday evening at 6pm).

 

Hope y’all are well ❤

 

– Jefe

My Bi(rthday) Bash, Halloweekend, Amazing Work Accomplishments, & a SPONTANEOUS TRIP TO GUATEMALA NEXT WEEK

Hey y’all,

 

2pm on a sunny Saturday. Low(ish)-key Halloween Party chez Tim tonight. I was gonna be a sexy cop (like those two in the windows during the Montreal Pride Parade, right, Sarah and Mikey?), so I went thriftin’ last week for a police hat. No luck, but I did find a Batman mask for only $1, so I snatched that up. And I’ll pair it with some leather accoutrements. I mean, it’s Halloween, like the Mean Girls quote describes, so…

I’ve been getting in the mood for the holiday, too. It had been MONTHS since I had seen a movie – let alone a great horror flick – so I decided to fix that right up. Watched Lights Out (good, but not as great as the short that inspired it), Split (disappointing, not scary, but great performance by Mr. McAvoy), and The Conjuring 2 (overlong and over-rated) in one week. It was actually my birthday week, and I watched the latter with Elena & Eric, after a pleasant dinner at Ace Mercado with Eric & Tony (thanks for footing the bill, Tone! You the best).

Then last Tuesday, Luke invited me over for Halloween movies and pumpkin carvin’ – so I caught the end of Insidious (the worst part, in my opinion. such a strong start, and then the astral projections and “The Further?” ugh, please no) and then put on Trick ‘r’ Treat, the classic Halloween anthology that I watch every year. That Anna Paquin scene with the Marilyn Manson song playing? Friggen iconic.

And then last night, I had plans to play some games with Eric / Nick / Justin / Hris / Dorey, but they fell through last minute. So I ended up watching Starry Eyes, after years of it being on my list… And MAN, what a f***ed movie that was. There were scenes towards the end that made me feel literally ill. Am I no longer desensitized? How will watching Jigsaw this Tuesday (actual Halloween, like the ol’ routine with Carol & Mike Mszanski) go with Zach etc?

I think it’ll be fine, though – because the Saw traps are, like, mechanized. And it’s do or die, legit. Whereas the scenes from Starry Eyes were so personal, so intimate, and wholly unnecessary. That cruelty is what bothered me.

All in all, it was an alright film. Definitely made me feel something, you know? But be prepared for some nasty ish, some weird visuals, and an overall strange vibe. I prefer more straightforward teen slashers or ghost stories, but to each their own.

Might have some friends ‘round tomorrow for that (mostly) Annual Halloween / Horror Movie Marathon. I’m thinking Annabelle Creation for one of the films, and I’m open to suggestions for others. Something recent, high-budget, scary, and not horrible. Or maybe a horror-comedy. Tyler/Loki suggests Murder Party or The Babysitter, which Tim also recommends. So maybe that.

 

I know I’m super behind on this blog, but do you realize how busy I am? I don’t even know if I realize how busy I am. Full-time job + a side job + a relatively time-consuming volunteer Board member gig. Plus staying active: gym for 1-1.5 hours thrice weekly, competitive volleyball games on Wednesdays (2+ hours), hatha yoga for 1.5 hours on Thursday, and often a long bike ride on Saturdays. Like last weekend, I finally made it to Gatineau Park. Sunday was the last day the Fall Rhapsody free shuttle was running, so I wanted to catch that before I couldn’t anymore. But my birthday party was the night prior, the morning was rough, and by the time I got moving – it was only about two hours until the last shuttle ran back from the Park.

So I decided to cycle it! It was a balmy, sunny day – and what’s better for a resaquita than some fresh air and exercise? I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I figured, I’ll just give it a try, and I can always turn back if it’s too much. But it ended up being totally fantastic. I biked all the way to Pink Lake (~15km from the “Lisgar House,” mostly uphill), hiked around the whole thing, and rode on right back. All told, it was between 4 and 5 hours of being on the go. And I had only had avocado toast and one cup of coffee earlier! I didn’t even have any eggs! Quite the accomplishment, I’d say.

Totally worth it, though. It was a gorgeous trip. I listened to podcasts, marveled at all the colours, sang along to new music, got some sun, and truly enjoyed being in nature once again. The lake is beautiful and the cycle paths well-maintained. Totally phenomenal day, if exhausting. I had intended to gym afterwards too, since that’s what happens on Sundays, but the hangover + lack of food + all the energy expended already means I was totally spent afterward. Plus, I had a conference call for the Lambda Foundation as well, so it’s not like I just crashed on the couch upon my return home and didn’t move at all. And I managed to squeeze in almost a full workout at the gym (minus deadlifts) between working late and going to trivia on Monday night anyway, so it was fine. (Was gonna go Tuesday again, but that was a bit ambitious – as Laganja would say, THIS IS TOO F***ING MUCH, considering work was very busy this past week too)

Wanted to get some fresh air and sun today as well, but with this blog post, chores, Eric coming over for Dominion: Base 1^st Edition/2^nd Edition/Intrigue/Empires now, and how I gotta grocery shop and cook dinner and shave and prepare my costume etc – there won’t be any time. Plus, it’s already 3pm, and the sun is setting earlier and earlier these days… 😦 No biggie.

 

But about how busy I am – I actually like it. Yes, it means I’m often tired, and there’s not much wiggle room if something catastrophic happens. But if I take a step back and look at my life from an external/outsider’s/objective perspective:

this is what I wanted my life as an adult to look like when I was younger

I enjoy my job, believe in the work I’m doing, and am proud (and pleasantly surprised) at how much I’m earning. I like my apartment, have a bunch of people I know, host lots of social events, and am well-integrated in the place I live. I have weekly routines I enjoy, and have plans or something to look forward to most every night. I like how I look – even if the balding and persistent acne are frustrating – and all the effort I put it at the gym etc is paying off. I’m happy with myself, cognizant and accepting of my flaws, and no longer let people push me around or walk all over me. I think I’m funny and clever and smart, and while that sounds cocky – you should know that I often struggle with self-consciousness and second-guessing myself, so this self-assurance is a welcome change, even if it comes across as too much at times. Would rather be content with myself than please everybody. The latter is a fool’s errand. If you have no disagreements with people (or maybe, if you have no enemies), are you really standing up for what you believe in? Especially if you have such progressive and liberal beliefs as I do…

 

Maybe that’s what being 26 is all about. My birthday was a week and a half ago, and no, I don’t feel any different. People don’t change overnight / based on an arbitrary calendar date, but rather gradually, over time. So I certainly have changed in the past year – but I can address that at another time. In lieu of a meandering stream-of-consciousness review of the past year, here’s what I captioned my new profile picture (uploaded late on October 18th):

“in the past year:

– moved 3 times, including to a new province

– got 1, very visible tattoo

– visited 3 countries, 3 provinces, & 1 state

– went MF *bungee-jumping*

– applied to 50+ jobs

– held 4 positions (3 currently, 1 more forthcoming)

– commenced my professional career (& doubled my wage in so doing)

– started cutting my hair REAL short

– got back into weightlifting

– learned how to use liquid eyeliner / do a killer wing tip

– began doing yoga weekly

– joined a queer volleyball team (pictured)

– became a sassy & charismatic trivia host

– tried & loved a tonne of new board games

 

– met COUNTLESS, AMAZING PEOPLE THAT ENRICH MY LIFE & MAKE IT EXCITING, INTERESTING, & WORTH LIVING ❤

here’s to the next adventurous, fulfilling, challenging, & roller coaster of a year!”

 

So maudlin, huh? Maybe that’s what dotage brings.

 

Anyhow. Remember back in the day, at McGill, when I would plan a whole week of birthday festivities? Seeing scary movies, going out for cheap fajitas at Tres Amigos, pre-drinks, pub crawls, potlucks, parties, and more? Well, doing all that sounds exhausting – and it’s not like my current social circle has as much flexibility as students do, with their full-time jobs. So instead, I had that intimate dinner with Eric & Tony and focused my attention on my birthday party. The last shindig I had – “Jefe’s House-hotting” – had 100+ people invited, but only about ~20 showed up (two of whom I didn’t even know). It was organized last-minute, and that was more than enough guests anyway, so I’m not salty about it. So I figured it would be the same situation for “Jefe’s Bi(rthday) Bash,” and had no qualms about asking more than 130 people to attend. But as the day approached, I got really nervous. My landlady came up when there was only 20 people here (at the previous event) – so if even half of the invitees came, it might get out of control. Not to mention, I don’t think my apartment can fit 65 people, even if it is on the more spacious side…

But what happens, happens, right? I didn’t want to not invite people and potentially hurt their feelings or cause drama, so if I extended the offer to acquaintances / frenemies, then I did the right thing, and they can decide to attend or not. And if there were that many people, then we could just keep it down and leave before 11 to the club.

But lo and behold, my landlady still came up to quiet us down. But there was no music playing! We were all just talking! And again, it was before 11pm – meaning we could make as much noise as we damn well pleased, the way the law views it.

But I’m not trying to get myself evicted here – or anger my neighbours – so I shut all the windows, told people to shush, and sent out contingencies to Babylon once 11 hit. And it was fine! (Oh, and before you judge me – I had posted a note on my door, explaining that we’ll be gone by the witching hour and to please text me if it got too noisy – and I received no such messages. So I think it was fine. I won’t be throwing 40-people parties every weekend, so no worries.).

The night turned out amazingly, though. A bunch of people came, representing many different social circles (volleyball, board gaymes, my trivia regulars, McGill alumni, MAX volunteers, Halifax friends, coworkers, etc) – so it was a great mixer. People got to meet each other, and everybody told me the next day how much fun they had, and how wonderful all the attendees were. It was really gratifying to hear that, made me supremely proud. I also had a lot of fun, but it was more important that my guests enjoyed themselves – and everybody had only great things to say! Hurray.

As it was my 26^th birthday party, I decided I had to step my hosting game up a bit. Stephane’s 30^th a couple weeks prior inspired me, so at this soiree, I actually provided refreshments. I know, shocker. I made some guacamole (because I don’t even like cake that much, but Mexican is my ish) and more than four liters of sangria. I bought a box of wine – four litres of the stuff – and was surprised by how little it amounted to. I poured it in a large pot and a large bowl, and when it ran out, I was like, “That’s it…?” But then I added a mickey of brandy, a juice of orange juice concentrate, and 2L of ginger ale, and voila! Punch for the party.

I told people that, if they were really keen, then they could bring a bottle of red wine to add to the sangria. Some people did, those were added to the pot after it ran out… But by that time, I had also run out of mixer. So instead of a nice summery drink, we were downing fortified wine. No wonder things got wild.

We didn’t end up playing any Werewolves either, even though I legit crafted my own set earlier that day. Shame, but no biggie – because conversations were flowing and friendships were forming and it was a gay ol’ time.

We went out to Babylon after, for #OHMYJAM or whatever it was. $10 entry for some wonky-ass music (they legit played The Little Mermaid) at a dive bar, but whatever, where else could we go? And it turned out to be a lot of fun too. Ran into Garreth, Ryan, & their Toronto friends there – so I included them as my guests, when I was counting up how many people came. Lol.

I had hiccups really bad (Vanessa thought they were adorable), was all over the dance floor, and made friends with the bouncer, Omar – who said I’m there every week? What? That’s a lie. But funny nonetheless. I was even helping him “check IDs,” but I don’t think anyone took it seriously. I was just being goofy, helpful, friendly me. It was a GREAT night, although the next morning was pretty rough – as mentioned above.

But yeah! Thank you so much to everyone who came. Glad you all enjoyed yourself, and I was so pleased to have you all at my bacchanalia 🙂 Can’t wait for the next one! Maybe with Werewolves and without quite so much noise or spiked wine this time…

 

K it’s 11:30 on Sunday night and I’m tired. I’ll hopefully finish this between leaving work and hosting trivia tomorrow night! Because I have A LOT to say about last night, Halloween Saturday! It was absolutely phenomenal! Yay! But it’ll wait for tomorrow ~~

 

Hey! I’m back! Only about an hour before I have to bike down to the Glebe – thank goodness it’s stopped raining – so let me bang this out.

I had a great day at work. It was the last meeting of the Joint Union/Management Task Force on Diversity and Inclusion in the Public Service, so I was in the boardroom all day, taking notes. Got to chat with some of the members who I hadn’t seen in a while, enjoyed a free lunch, and loved how the day just seemed to fly. Our Final Report is something like 95% of the way done. The changes they agreed to change today are minor, and the suggestions from the editor also aren’t that significant. I think I’ve tied up the loose ends, actually, in terms of the Report proper. The speaking notes / key messages / accompanying deck (government-speak for a PowerPoint) / D+I Lens graphic / D+I Lens video, however, will require some more attention. Especially the French versions, which I have no control over.

But it was a fantastic way to spend a rainy, dreary Monday! Started the week off on a great note, and I know tomorrow and Wednesday will be busy – but we are so close to the finish line! Of our final deliverable. The implementation / action plan / employer response / integrated framework / launch event will take more time, but what I’ve been most involved with – actually writing and editing and finessing the Final Report – will be done by this Wednesday.

And it’s the perfect send-off for me! Because November 1^st is the last day of my casual contract. I have worked 90 days with TBS, nose to the grindstone supporting the Task Force, and I get to end on such a high note. I know that work I’ve done has been well-received, I’m proud of it, and it will be read by literal hundreds (if not thousands) of people – and be in effect for years (decades?) to come.

I’m not exaggerating about that. At the closing of the meeting today, we all went around and gave our thoughts and gratitude to everyone else. And the things people said legitimately made me tear up a bit. Especially Margaret, who is (likely?) retiring early next year. She explained how, in your career, there are moments that stand out – accomplishments that you’re particularly proud of. And looking back, this Final Report, this Task Force, is the one that will stand out the most for her.

Like, wow. For somebody who’s had a career as illustrious as Margaret – that astounded me. I am a damn lucky man, to have been offered this opportunity to do such important, progressive, impactful, and timely work. It really is the perfect constellation of events for me (a syzygy, if you will). Earning my Master’s in what I did, and when I got it. Receiving the full scholarship to attend UGlasgow. Coming to Ottawa for my job at the CCGSD. Meeting Michael through happenstance, who got me a meeting with Louise, and then I met Vinita on the walk out of that first tête-à-tête. Justin Trudeau and his Feminist government, Randy Boissonnault being appointed his Special Advisor on LGBTQ2(+) issues, the rainbow flag flying on Parliament Hill for the first time in herstory, and Scott Brison and his passion for diversity, inclusion, and queer issues. Everything came together for me. And I’m very grateful.

 

I definitely feel like I’m on a swift upward trajectory in the public service, and I couldn’t be happier about it. But that’s also why I’m not thrilled about my casual contract ending this Wednesday… Because my next engagement hasn’t come through yet. Of course, these things take time, and I do believe it will pan out. I have trust in my colleagues and superiors, and I have sufficient confidence in my performance heretofore to know they want to keep me on.

I just have to be patient, I suppose. I checked again with Vinita today, and there has been no update on when my next (Term) contract begins. As of last Friday, it is slated to commence on the 15^th, and it’s not likely to get any earlier. So that gives me two weeks off. It annoyed / disappointed me at first – since I have no control over it, and nothing is promised, so it worries me a bit. But it is yet another opportunity. I have been wanting to go travel somewhere, and some time off will be nice. Why work so hard and earn all this money if you don’t have the chance to use it?

So I was looking at flights today, and found <$500 round-trip from Ottawa to Guatemala City, leaving this coming Monday and returning the following Tuesday or Wednesday. So I’d visit GuaCity, Antigua, Lago del Atitlan, and even go over to El Salvador – to see its capital, the National Volcano Park, La Ruta de Flores, and surfers’ paradise of Bálsamo. Sounds perfect, right? That’s countries 30 and 31, taken care of. The only downside is the flights involve long overnight layovers. But the silver lining is they’re at Ronald Reagan Airport, which is on DC’s metro – so I could maybe go visit Greg? I already messaged Johnnie, but he moved away 😦

I haven’t decided yet if I should – want to talk it over with Mum and Dad first – but I’m leaning hard towards yes. #YOLO, right? I deserve some sun, relaxation, adventure, beaches and hiking and jungle and natural beauty. We’ll see.

 

Alright, let’s wrap it up.

Halloween Saturday was phenomenal. Eric and I had a great time playing 3 lightning-fast games of Dominion, and then I got some groceries and made some delicious pizza from scratch. Watched The Revenge of the Queens, the highest-rated episode of all of RPDR. And yes, it was amazing. Then sipped on pomegranate cider / pre-gamed solo as I got ready. Donned my Batman mask and leather accessories and did a(nother) killer winged eyeliner lewk… Even if you couldn’t really see it under the mask. Still, worth it.

Then I hoofed it over to Tim’s, and walked into a full damn house. Lots of people there, most of whom were dressed up as Avengers / Marvel superheroes. I was the odd man out, but whatever, I still loved how I looked. We had Quicksilver, Ironman x2, Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Captain America, Doctor Strange/Pepper Potts, the Wasp, Namor, Miss Marvel, Nick Fury, and Spiderman. Legit, the party was stacked full of great costumes. They went all out.

I chatted with a bunch of people, talked some sh!t, had some fun, drank some tinto verano, caught up with friends, front-squatted 6’ 8” Kas MacMillan, and was convinced to accompany Vanessa, Ryan, and Garreth to Lookout. I had planned on going with Eric to Yves’ party for a bit, but he left 10 minutes after I arrived to Tim’s, so that didn’t happen. Nor did T’s, because nobody I’m super close with was going there. I expected some Werewolves to be played, but that started right after I left. But it doesn’t matter, because my night was fantastic regardless.

The four of us stopped by Garreth’s super-fancy place, shared a shot, and then hopped in an Uber to the Market. It was my first actual night out at Lookout, as the only other time I had been there was as part of the underwear fashion show – and I didn’t stay long after it ended. But it was the wait, because my night could not have been better. There was a bunch of people there, but it wasn’t overcrowded – plenty of room to dance. We were on the stage most of the time, and I made a bunch of friends with strangers. Guy in gumball machine costume, Aaron (who I gave helpful advice about his costume, and he bought me a beer as thanks), girls dressed up as Trixie & Katya, shirtless guy with a backwards bejewelled K on his chest (like Karen from Mean Girls), etc. Saw Andrew Ott and Matt Harding and Brendan Gorman too, and weirdly ran into this guy I went on two dates with, way back in the winter. It didn’t work out because he’s closeted and got scared (or something), so he ghosted me. Typical, right?

So I saw him at Lookout, and instead of being fiery – I was extremely friendly. Told him that he deserves better, that I understand why he can’t be out, but I hope it all works out for him and that he finds happiness, and that he shouldn’t feel guilty at all about what happened with me, and I totally understand and forgive him. +1 for my karma!

Other funny stories – I was dancing on the stage, this person had a whole tray of drinks, and they all spilled on me. I wasn’t wearing much – compression shorts etc (with my money tucked in them and my shoes, ahhaah) – but my phone was tucked into my belt, and all the beer went on that. So I went up to her and was like, “You just spilled a whole tray of drinks on me, including my phone…. What do you I get in return?” So she offered, “Two shots?” And I was like, “Sure, let’s go.”

We go to the back bar and she orders (tequila!), and then I find out she’s just a patron, not an employee of the bar. So I immediately feel bad, and say that one shot is fine – as long as she does it with me. We wait for the bartender to get back, and I start chatting with this other guy there, an older gentleman. And I somehow convince him to buy all of our shots, as long as he does one too – and voila! That’s how you wheel and deal!

The best part of the night was the MF drag shows though. They were AMAZING. Of course, I love drag – but this seemed next-level. The best performer was the one who did creepy themes, in line with Halloween. In her one number, she was wearing this big black hat/headpiece with crow feathers on it, that spiked up from her shoulders. A big white cross was affixed to the front of the hat, and she was in this old Victorian dress. At the climax of the song, somebody poured a bucket o’ blood on her. Amazing.

And for her next performance, it was to Evanescence’s “My Immortal.” Love the song, but didn’t expect it to be so “bloody” phenomenal at a gay club after midnight. But I was LIVING for it. Everyone was singing, she was again in a creepy old-fashioned dress, with macabre, gory makeup, and it was damn emotional. I have photos and a video. Legit, I loved it so damn much. And the song’s been playing through my head for the past couple days.

Finally, the last drag show was by a different queen (who I didn’t love quite so much), but she danced to “Phone” by Lizzo – and that was running through my head through my tossing and turning on Sunday morning. Still, so much fun. Thanks so much to Vanessa, Ryan, & Garreth (+ Tim) for making my Halloween Saturday so enjoyable and memorable! That’s one for the books.

 

And with that, I’ll wrap it up here. And yes:

I JUST BOOKED AN EIGHT-DAY TRIP TO GUATEMALA, LEAVING NEXT MONDAY

Might do El Salvador too, but the US travel site has a warning there… So we’ll have to see. Plus, just more than a week isn’t a lot of time, so maybe I should just do Guatemala right. We’ll see.

Have any of you been there, besides Amy? If so, please give me pointers / recommendations! I’m excited about it!

 

K, that’s all for now folks. Love y’all, ‘til next time! ❤

 

– Jefe

Last Day of “Freedom,” MY FIRST DAY AT WORK AT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, & the Last Chapter of My Magnificent Trip to Mexico (Merida, Cancun, Bungee Jumping, Isla Mujeres & Montreal)

Shalom,

 

So today is my last day as an untethered young buck. Tomorrow I start my job as Junior Program Officer, affiliated with the Joint/Union Management Task Force on Diversity & Inclusion in the Public Service, in the Treasury Board Secretariat of the Canadian Federal Government! Now how prestigious (and intimidating) does that sound? I’m so excited about it! And a bit nervous! And not really sure what to expect! But definitely ready to begin! Wouhou!

How am I spending my last taste of freedom? I woke up early, as I’m trying to reset / regularize my sleep schedule, and sipped iced coffee while reading about The Challenge (the finale of its spinoff Champs vs Pros aired on Tuesday night, and the new season premieres in less than a month). Then went for a short bike ride, got the newspaper, and ate a late breakfast out on the balcony while completing the crossword and reading some articles. Now I’m working on this blog post, going to yoga at 5, and I have my weekly Pandemic Legacy game later tonight. Then likely an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 (just witnessed the iconique Laganja breakdown, and okurrrr mawma, it was everything, just too f***ing much, SUCH a disaster) and an early bedtime – because tomorrow, I’m at the office at 9am! Whuuttt! Insanity.

And considering how I’ll be out of town all day Saturday & Sunday – I’m helping Tsarina Tsybina move to Toronto by renting a car, picking up ridesharers, driving to Montreal, loading the minivan, heading to T-Dot, listening to the S-Town podcast, sleeping overnight, attending the Pride Parade, then driving back to Ottawa Sunday evening – I need to finish up blogging ‘bout Mexico. I know I sound like a broken record by now, so I’m just gonna get it out of the way, so we can move onto other topics. Plus, after tomorrow, I feel I’ll have much more to discuss – and also much less energy to do so. I know starting working again is going to be exhausting and have a sharp learning curve. I’m prepared for it, but I’m not necessarily looking forward to the adjustment period. Plus I want to continue hitting the gym, so hopefully I’ll have the wherewithal to do that. But it’s that famous paradox, isn’t it? Working out actually gives you more energy, despite everything you expend in the process. I suppose it’s about putting your stamina to the test, depleting it, so you have more in general. I’m not totally sure. But I hope that the past six weeks have conditioned me to be able to last longer and be more energetic.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

 

—

 

Day 11: Merida & Cancun

 

Woke up early, enjoyed the quality hostel breakfast, packed my stuff up, and put it “closed with a key” (cerrado con llave) in the locker. Then hurried down to the main plaza, where there was a free walking tour, which are a great way to explore a city. You can wander around yourself, certainly – and that is what I predominately do – but then there’s so much nuance and history and interesting factoids that you miss when you don’t have somebody there to explain / introduce it to you. I was meeting Fritzi there, and we even waited up for her, but she never showed. That’s one frustration of traveling abroad. You get so accustomed to being able to communicate with others at a moment’s notice when you’re back home – due to WiFi or data on your mobile – so when you’re without that, it goes back to the old-fashioned ways of doing things, pre-cell phones. I kinda like it, though. It’s a return to simpler times. If they show up, great – and if not, well, you can’t get upset about it. These things happen. And it turns out that there were actually two walking tours departing at the same time nearby each other – so she went to the other one, where she was also wondering where I was. Shame, since I wanted to hang out with her again, but what can ya do?

The walking tour was very informative. We learned about the big Cathedral, toured the church, wandered through a free museum in a government building, and checked out the brilliant architecture of other edifices in the city. Lots of wealth families lived in Merida once upon a time, due to the production of sisal, a plant fibre that is woven into rope. The industry boomed and richesse came with it – along with opulent homes and colonial architectural details and luxe living spaces. As well as enormous haciendas outside the city, that I unfortunately missed out on (you can’t do it all). Nowadays, many of these have been converted into upper-crust hotels and palatial estates for the bougie travelers to enjoy. Me, I prefer that hostel and couchsurfing life. All the better to meet people and truly experience an area!

We also walked down this road in which all the shops had these fish tanks / terraria with these cockroach-looking bugs in them for sale. The kicker is that they were all bejeweled, with gold chains and sparkly gems and the like. They’re called makech, and the apparently immobilize themselves when they’re touched. So the idea is, you hang them on y our top like a brooch, and it just dangles there without crawling anywhere. And when you put them back in their cage, they resume movement. It’s living art, a bit macabre, interesting, eye-catching. Like the blinged-out roaches on America’s Next Top Model. I wouldn’t personally do it, but I do think it’s cool.

And the legend behind it is that there was this affluent father (maybe a king?) with a daughter (possibly a princess) that he gave anything she ever desired. After his conquests, he would always bring back a gift for his darling daughter. Except one time, she wanted one of the slaves (or maybe a prisoner) that her father won due to his victory – but he wasn’t having any of it. She disobeyed him, went behind his back, and had a torrid love affair with this slave – only to be caught by the king. To punish her, he turned her lover into a beetle, and the markech adornments were born! Quite the unique souvenir, they would be. But unfortunately, the shopkeepers even charged for you to take a picture of them, so I have none. Google-image search that ish if you’re so inclined.

Our lovely tour guide also told us the history of those white twin-chairs you see everywhere. Similar to the previous old-fashioned story, a father created these chairs so that his daughter could sit and talk with her lover, but they had a barrier between them so it wouldn’t go too far. And of course, the father could sit and watch them converse. How creepy and overbearing is that? #SmashthePatriarchy! Nonetheless, the seats are pretty cool and unique. Another standout image from Merida.

We ended the expedition at this great museum / artists’ residence in a converted old abode. Merida is a very popular city these days with young adults. It seems a bit hipster to me, actually. Very artsy and new-fashioned and up-and-coming. Like Bed Stuy. With artisanal ice cream shops owned by Polish immigrants to trendy art galleries to expensive espresso to La Negrita Cantina. It’s good stuff. Keidan really recommends it. Me, I didn’t love it, but I’m still glad I visited.

After that, I tipped the guide (since it’s not actually free, and she deserved it anyhow) then had to dash. I had bought my bus ticket the day prior for 1pm, and so happy I did, because every seat was taken, and all of the other passengers had kids and snacks and blankets with them. They’re resident pros, on the long bus ride from Merida to Cancun. Like 4-5 hours. Thank Dios there was air-conditioning.

Oooohh! Two funny stories. I bought the ticket from a travel agent off the main square, but due to my annoying frugality instincts, I missed out on a much cheaper one early in the morning, because I didn’t trust her word and walked to the bus station to check it out myself. And by the time I got back, there were no vacancies left. Of course. Don’t get me wrong, I like how I’m money-savvy and don’t go throwing it away – because then I can afford things I really care about (like travel) and not just be profligate with impulsive purchases or eating out – but it does annoy me sometimes. Just another characteristic of mine I’m working on.

Anyway, the funny story is that after I made the transaction, this woman asked me about my nail polish (which was orangey-red at the time). She spoke no English, so what was already a dicey conversation became more difficult. I told her I like the colour, and me gusta romper las expectaciones del género (I like to break gender expectations), and why not? She probably asked if I’m gay too, so I told her, “Soy bi,” pronounced like “bee.” Maybe I said “Estoy bi” ? I don’t exactly remember. Hispanoblantes – help me out here. Do you use ser or estar when discussing sexual orientation? Because sexuality is fluid sometimes, but for most people most times, it is a staid and consistent identity. So which is preferred?

Regardless. That’s me. Being a tiny bit gender non-conforming & educating about queer issues wherever I am! Can’t stop / won’t stop.

The other amusing anecdote is more cringey than funny. After the walking tour, I’m on the hunt for a cold coffee, so I can actually accomplish stuff on the long bus ride. Plus, it helps with the heat, and you know how I love my iced americanos. So I pass this place which has a sign promoting their special – a croissant and a coffee for, I dunno, 40 pesos? A good price – comparable to the other places, but with a lil pastry thrown in. I needed a snack too, so it was perfect. I go in, and inquire if I can get it to go, and order an iced espresso with un poquitito de leche and a croissant to this woman. And then this man comes over, and he asks for my order too, so I repeat it. He describes the croissants with more detail, so I order one with cheese and pesto. Uhmm, yes please!

It takes much longer than expected, and I’m fretting because I don’t want to miss my bus, and then he comes out with this big box – the croissant sandwich and fries and the coffee to go. And a bill, for much more than the sign said. And that’s where the chagrin/humour comes in. Apparently he told me the special was just a regular croissant (which is what I wanted, cool) but offered the other, fancier, pricier sandwiches, and since my Spanish is imperfecto, I didn’t follow that it wasn’t included in the deal. Even the coffee was more expensive! Because apparently he gave me a double, when I didn’t ask for it. Ugh. Like the guy who tried to rip me off / overcharge me for the cold brew in Tulum when all I wanted was espresso over ice.

So this guy doesn’t speak English and won’t back down. I tell him to get his manager – who also is only monolingual – and for the entire ordeal, I’m really stressing out about all the time it’s taking. I even considered just leaving everything there, giving a couple coins for the little bit of coffee I drank, and peacing the F out, because my departure was looming and I still had to collect my stuff from the hostel and then hustle to the bus station. I wasn’t trying to get chased by the policia, though, so I opted not to sip & dash. The manager sided with me and just charged me for the coffee (which was still more than their sign said, but whatever, I’m not going to squabble about a buck or two), so I paid up, kinda enjoyed how she let me do that when the other employee was so upset (why so pressed, bro?), and get the heck outta dodge.

Actually ran into the two older Canadian guys at the bus station, too, serendipitously – Robin and his travel companion – then got a lil snack of empanadas from an adorable old lady on the side of the road, and another coffee, then boarded that bus. Watched Scream Queens and listened to a podcast and eventually got back to where I started: Cancun.

Checked into the same hostel, was happy to see my amigos who work there again (Daniel, Martin, that Canuck guy with the tattoos and his wife), dropped my bag off, and found dinner. Went to La Res Sabrosa, by recommendation of Daniel (and corroborated by TripAdvisor), and enjoyed a phenomenal alambre – which, as Wiki says, is “grilled beef topped with chopped bacon, bell peppers, onions, cheese, salsa and avocado.” Kinda like the orden I got on my first day in Mexico – a make-your-own taco platter. Delicious.

Then I picked up some canned cocktails from the 7/11 across Avenida Tulum, hopped on the R2, and went to the Zona Hotelera. I first went to Playa Tortugas, where the bungee jumping place is, and managed to get there in time to actually see somebody jump and inquire about the process, rates, experience, etc. They told me I could do it right then, but after the dinner I just had, I didn’t think it was the best idea. Plus, I wanted to do it during the daytime, so I could enjoy the panoramic view from atop the tower. And to be honest, I was cowed. So I reserved my spot for the following day. Oh, and they even offered me a discount before I opened my mouth to ask about it. Immediately knocked ten off the price, for only $50 US. Now that’s a deal!

For the rest of the night, I wandered around the Zona, sat on the beach, sipped my drinks, read my book, watched some of the debauchery at the biggest clubs there (Coco Bongo, La Vaqueria, Mandala), and eventually meandered back to the hostel, where I chatted with the other guests and sat on the outdoor patio and ate everything up. What a life.

 

Day 12: Cancun & Bungee Jumping & Isla Mujeres

I woke up especially excited for the day. I enjoyed the breakfast, sun-screened, psyched myself up, grabbed an iced coffee, caught the shuttle, and headed straight for Playa Tortugas again – before I lost my nerve. Marched right to the Adventure Bay kiosk, signed the waiver, paid the fee, and took a couple minutes to gather my thoughts. But after I came all this way and announced it on Facebook and Snapchat and made my mind up, there’s no way I was backing down.

So I climb up the steep wooden stairs, get 80 feet above the water, and really enjoy the view. It’s gorgeous. White sand beaches, turquoise waters, the sun is shining, I have spectators watching from the beach below. I convince the instructor the take some pictures of me with my own phone – probably against the rules, but whatever – then get the photographer to carry it down safely for me. Get strapped into the ankle harness, and it’s surprisingly weighty – but that’s reassuring. You’re not dealing with peanuts safety features, here. And believe you me, I did my research into the company before signing up. I’m not a total idiot.

Then I pose for more pictures with the official photographer, squinting in the sun, and then walk the plank. The instructor is there the whole time, so I’m not completely scared out of my wits. He already told me all about how the process would go, what I had to do, the proper poses, etc. So I was prepared, and not scared. My heart might have been beating pretty fast, but I felt remarkably cool-headed. I get to the precipice of the wooden platform, toes gripping the very edge, and gaze out upon everything. It was such a remarkable sight, absolutely gorgeous. Paradise, heaven on earth, everything.

I wave at the people watching 80 feet below, spread my arms as I’m supposed to, and that’s when my heart jumps to my throat. I get an immediate surge of total terror, my instincts telling me that this is super stupid – but I’m positive it’s safe, and I watched other people do it, and I know that if I overthink it, I’ll get in my head and be too pusillanimous to do it. So I push the fear out of my mind and fall forward with zero hesitation. Legitimately – I wasted no time. And was impressed with myself for doing that, when I’ve suffered acrophobia for most of my life.

And, literally in the blink of an eye, the initial fall is over. I remember at the last second to go into the dive position, I splash down in the Caribbean Sea, then rebound back up, bungeed afloat, and bounce around a couple times. It’s hard to gauge where in space I am, since all the brilliant colours are blurring together, there’s salt water in my eyes, and I’m moving fast. I catch glimpses of the boats in the marina, the wooden tower, the beach, the sky and horizon and ocean, and before you know it – I’m reaching out to grab the ring they held out, catch it, and am slowly towed back to terra firma.

When I’m on my back on the pier, I immediately use the bottom of my “Living Young, Wild, and Free” frat tank top (SUCH a bro) to wipe my eyes of the seawater that got in them – and apparently everybody thought I was crying and taking care of my tears. Nope, that is not what happened. I loved every second of the bungee jump, and was disappointed that it was over and done with so soon! I definitely want to experience it again, but next time from higher up. This one was only 70-80’ of a plummet, which seems like suicide when you’re standing on the brink – but it all passes by in such a hurry. So I can’t wait to do it again.

I was the first daredevil of the day, too – so that was quite the way to shake up my morning!

And then, after riding the afterglow for a while, marveling that I had the courage to do that – when I was all alone and had nobody there to cheer or encourage me – I bought my ticket to Isla Mujeres, boarded the ferry, and sailed the ocean blue. They even had live music on the boat, which was pretty cool – this guy playing the guitar and singing covers in Spanish. Neato mosquito.

For those of y’all who don’t know, Isla Mujeres is a very popular tourist destination in Mexico. Common for those that get to the country via cruise ship. It’s famous for its snorkeling and scuba diving around a coral reef of it. But it also features this underwater museum called Musa – in which sculptures were created and then sunken to the ocean floor, for people to see through goggles and with air tanks. Awesome stuff, especially with how the various flora + fauna cover these statues and kind of “reclaim” them. It was established in order to compete with the reef, since all the tourism it receives takes a toll on the health of the coral and plants. Such a shame for that to happen, so I love this initiative they thought of. Where else can you go see art underwater? Probably somewhere, I’m sure, but it’s not too common.

However, I didn’t do any of this. It was my last day in Mexico, so I didn’t want to take out tonnes of pesos to afford all these expeditions and risk having leftover currency. My big #yolo expense was the bungee jumping, something I’ve been wanting to try for years, and the tattoo, which I’ll discuss later. So instead, I wandered around the town section of Isla Mujeres, which reminded me of Hilo, Hawaii. A nice beach town, baked by the sun, with lots of kitschy shops and restaurants with outdoor patios and people lazily walking around.

I hit up Playa Norte, which was highly recommended by the travel sites, and plunkered myself down in the shade of a palm. Read my book, enjoyed the sights, breathed in the fresh air and luxuriated in the sea breeze. Eventually I stashed my stuff in a bush and went in search of this mini-reef I overheard some Americans discussing on the ferry over. Splashed along in the water with my goggles and Speedo, swam underneath this bridge that connected the glitzy hotel Mia Reef to the rest of the island, and found an aquamarine wonderland. There were rocks out where the waves reach the lagoon, kinda like a natural breakwater, and all around them were all these adorable fish. I floated near them, loved their flashy colours, and even spotted some turtles, swordfish, and a flippin’ barracuda! Fortunately I escaped with all my limbs and bodily integrity.

Then returned to my stuff, which luckily was all still there (in addition to my fingers and toes), laid down on the beach to dry off, then went in search of food. Stopped in a store to ask a local for recommendations, but they place he advised was nowhere to be found. So I strolled down the pedestrian roads, checking out all the menus, and wow, was everything overpriced. Which goes hand-in-hand with how touristy the area is. To be expected. I ended up at the place that looked the most authentic. It was small, literally ran out of the kitchen of somebody’s residence, the menu was nothing fancy, and there were (what appeared to be actual) Mexicans eating there too. Always a good sign when the locals patronize the same restaurant!

I had guacamole and a quesadilla, and it was all delicious. They had a serve-yourself salsa and salad bar, as well, so I capitalized upon that too. I wish I knew the name of the establishment, to recommend to you all, but I can’t even find it on Google Street View. Ah well.

Then back to the ferry station, but I apparently misread my ticket and had to kill another 45 minutes. No problem, though! More exploring, got an iced espresso, and sat watching the boats go in and out of the marina / reading “Truly Madly Guilty.”

Then boarded the board, was treated to more live music on the ~sunset cruise~ back to the mainland, and I even managed to get back when Adventure Bay / the bungee jumping place was still open! So I went straight for the photographer’s stand and tried my best to haggle them down. The prices they charge for their photos is nigh criminal. $35 for like 30 photos? Yeah, it’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

The lowest he would go was $25 for the photos and the video for it, when I only wanted to give a twenty. So I played hardball, and was just like, “Well, fine, no deal. It’s either you take this $20 and give it to me, or I walk away, you delete the photos and make no money. They’re worth nothing to you. Might as well make some more cash before you close for the night.” And no, that was not all in Spanish, because I don’t think I’m that skilled at my second language (just yet). But it worked! And now I’m the proud owner of some hi-res pictures AND the video of me defying death! Yay!

Satisfied, I returned to the hostel, showered off, researched tattoo parlours, then struck out on the hunt. The place that was best reviewed was unfortunately closed when I finally managed to find it – after serendipitously running into my Canadian pal Robin (from Merida) AND wandering through a city fair / block party – so I stopped in this trendy-looking menswear store that sold expensive Speedos, asking for another recommendation. It happened to be just around the corner, so I headed straight to Placer y Dolor (Pleasure and Pain). Met with the artist and tried my best to explain the idea in Spanish, which was not as easy as it sounds, despite how simple the design was going to be. He quotes me a price, but again, I’m playing aloof – and it works out again! He immediately drops it down to about $40 US, if I do it tonight.

So I tell him, great, I need to take some cash out though. And I wanted to walk around and mull it over for a bit, before submitting to being poked with a needle many times over in an LDC with somebody who I couldn’t communicate with that well. But, you know what, I read the reviews, it had numerous positive testimonies, and whatever, no biggie. So I did it! And I have no regrets! It was quick, cheap, not excruciating, and still looks good! Yay!

I got the outlines of two equilateral triangles pointing to each other on the outside of my left wrist, where my watch goes (and can cover it if I need to). So it resembles a basic, geometric hourglass – but the upside-down triangle stands for queer pride as well, and the right-side up one represents delta, for change. And incidentally, the two of them together also mean fire and water, or balance / duality / etc – but that was just an extra +1, not the reason I went for that design. And now it’s tattoo #7! To tie up with my body piercings! (3 in each ear and 1 nipple)

Finally, with my ultimate night in Meh-hee-ko, I got some more cheap-ass tacos al pastor along Avenida Tulum, at the place the Kiwi Couple recommended way back when, then sat on the patio with the hostel workers / guests, and soaked in the lovely balmy night air one more time.

 

Day 13 & 14 & 15: Cancun + Montreal + Ottawa

Wake up, last hostel breakfast, grabbed my stuff, got a final iced americano, schlepped to the ADO station, got to hang out in the air-conditioned premium lounge reading about Drag Race, listen to the Brain Candy Podcast en route the airport, then only have about a half hour to wait at the gate (since it took me an unexpected while to check in at the counters, Dios knows why, I had only a carry-on). Have my layover in Philly, take my time walking through all the terminals looking for lunch, finally settle on an iced coffee and bagel from Au Bon Pain, the cashier says she thinks my conch piercing is cute and I’m adorable, aw thanks girl, then jetset to Montreal.

It takes forever going through customs, but eventually I make it through, hop on the shuttle to downtown, meet beautiful KyKy at Ganadara, grab the key, and finally relax when I get to his place. He surprises me a half hour later, as I’m sitting in just my underwear on the couch, resting before I got the energy up to shower – but he brought food from the restaurant! Awwww what a darling! ❤

Crash soon after, despite my intentions to go for a walk and experiencing the city that still feels like the most like home to me. Sleep like a log, wander round the city, indulge in another decadent but delicious poutine from Dirty Dogs, do some sightseeing, meet up with Ky & Mike MF Chan at Brutopia for a 5a7, love the raspberry beer, bus to the Mile End and hang out with Bren “G-Frog” Prouse for a lil while, play some Sm4sh, then metro to Atwater Forum to meet Ouliana to finally see Get Out (since Ottawa is severely lacking cinemas in its central core). We stroll back along Ste-Catherine afterward, get a quick bite from Burger King (I clearly was #cleaneating during these couple days), and plan how we’ll move her to Toronto during June. Well, guess what, that’s happening tomorrow! Believe it, squirrelfriend!

With my last day, more aimless walking around, get a banh mi with Melody (who out of nowhere gives me free nail polish – WOW thanks so much, the white paint is exactly what I wanted!) at the perennial Vua, grab coffee with Torchic, then get my rideshare back to lovely ol’ Ottawa. And the rest is history: the post-travel blues and unemployed doldrums and not loving my life situation, especially after how spectacular Mexico was.

 

—

 

And that’s that! The remainder of my travel blogging about Mexico. Who knows when the next exotic trip abroad will be? Not until November at the earliest, since that is when my casual contract with the Treasury Board ends.

Bi the gay, I had my first day on the job today – which I’ll discuss in more detail later – but a quick summary:

Everyone was very friendly, all the documents I was given to read (a huge amount) interest me, I have a nice private office/cubicle, it’s not hellishly open-concept, I met my colleagues and my boss’s boss, received uplifting and flattering advice from my supervisor, got the security badge to enter the buildings and my own laptop and email and login info etc and feel so legit about the whole thing. And ironically, the dream I had right before waking up at 7:30 this morning included my previous boss assaulting me and me feeling powerless to change it, but still giving an impassioned and affecting speech about it to the crowd gathered there. Hm, how telling is that, huh?

I now work Monday-Friday from 8:30-4:30, and it’s not micro-managey, and I don’t feel defeated or even that daunted by anything. I’m absurdly excited about it. Can’t wait to truly sink my teeth into this Diversity & Inclusion Task Force work! Yay!

 

Ciao for now. I’m off to gym, shower, and then head to Ernie’s for the RPDR Season 9 Finale with frands! Sickening!

 

Love y’all,

 

– Jefe

My First Social Event in Ottawa; Underwear Modeling for a Good Cause; Roomie Love; Chichen Itza; Cenote-Swimmin’; & Day 1 in Merida

Hey y’all,

 

It’s yet another chilly and rainy day here in Ottawa. For JUNE. Everyone’s been saying that it’s weirdly unseasonal, and I just heard today that this past May was the wettest on record for Ottawa. Just my luck, right? Spent last year in drizzly, overcast Glasgow and then move to O-Town for the rainiest spring/summer it’s apparently ever had.

And it’s no huge deal, because at least the temperatures are in the teens and it’s not a hurricane. The city is green again – all the leaves have come out – and the precipitation helps with that. So I’ll count my blessings.

I just bought a bike yesterday, though – and I was looking forward to cycling ‘round Ottawa today. But with how nasty it is, I’ve spent the whole day indoors. I even woke up earlier than normal, at 10am, because I wanted to have a productive day. But the weather has sapped me of energy, so instead, I’ve: chatted with both roommates, read more of my book (Into the Water by Paula Hopkins), did a crossword, and played Twilight Princess. Granted, it’s not even six yet, and some of those things are productive… But still. I wanted to take an adventure today. I LOVE to bike, and I’m looking forward to exploring more of my new city. Hog’s Back Falls, Westboro, Vanier, even Gatineau Park, etc. Soon, though.

And with the rest of my day, I’ll make a big batch of EZ-ratatouille (Italian sausage, zucchini, eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onion, and chickpeas) and hang out with Woodsy, who finally took his first exam for the Bar today. Maybe we’ll go to The Loft, the local board game bar? If it were sunny and warm, we’d celebrate with drinks on my balcony or his roof, but alas…

Also, the dang record check from the UK has still not arrived, even though it was allegedly mailed out last Wednesday. I really don’t get it, actually, now that I think about it. I ordered it two Thursdays ago and paid $70 extra for the quicker processing time, which was supposed to take two days. But then they only dispatch it the following Wednesday? And just put it in the regular post? Nothing with airmail or an expedited process? And no tracking number? Like, excuse me, what?! What did that extra seventy cover, then, if it’s still going to take longer than a week to ship to my address? Soon enough it’ll have taken ten working days… Which was the timeline stipulated for the regular service. I feel ripped off, and annoyed. My start date was supposed to be yesterday (June 5^th), but because of all this bureaucratic tomfoolery, I have yet to begin. Aaarrgghhh!

I can’t do much about it besides wait, though. So let me stop myself before I get righteously angry. And I’ve been trying to be productive each day to make up for the fact that I haven’t worked in two months. Blogging helps with that, and reading books, and buying a bike, and I hosted trivia yesterday, and I’ve started going to the gym every other day. So I am being a lil industrious bee, but I am really excited to start working. It gives me such a sense of fulfillment, like I’ve actually spent my day accomplishing something – instead of just wasting time on Reddit or sleeping or watching TV. So, again, hopefully this police records check arrives tomorrow. Oh, and did I mention, they can’t send an e-copy? Because of course they can’t.

…

Let’s move on to better news. The underwear fashion show last Thursday went amazingly. I’m so happy I did it – and honoured I was given the opportunity. We helped raise more than $600 for the Ten Oaks Project, a camp for LGBTQ+ youth. Very pleased about that.

And while I decidedly did not have the most sculpted body or look the best in the skivvies, I still enjoyed participating in the event. We had two pairs each to model, and to show them off, we strutted down the hall, pummelled the runway, and answered some silly questions for the audience and emcee. And that is where I shined. I faked it ‘til I made it, acted like I owned the place, projected confidence, and made everyone laugh with every answer I gave. My friends told me afterward that I had the best stage presence and was the most charismatic. Which definitely made me feel good, because you know, those insecurities don’t quit.

So that was fab, and it was great to see friends as well. Met / made some new ones too.

…

And then two days after was my first social event here in Ottawa! My roommates and I threw a house party, which I spun as a “Pride Month Kickoff / Hello to Jefe” shindig. And it was quite the banger, actually. Many more people attended than I expected. I mean, I only created the Facebook page a couple days before the actual soiree, so I figured people would be busy and not be able to come out so last-minute.

 

Which I suppose was the case for me. Of the ~50 (or more?) I personally invited, only three showed: Meaghan, Elena, & Mwanza. And, wouldn’t you know it, they were all McGillers that I’ve known for years. Going on eight years, actually, for Meg & E, harkening all the way back to 509 in first year.

How ironic, that of all the people I’ve met in the past seven months of living here in Ottawa…. Nobody attended. That didn’t feel wonderful to realize, and maybe it isn’t exactly irony – but whatever, it’s no big deal. The party was a little thrown-together, people didn’t find out about it far (enough) in advance, and I don’t hold it against anyone.

And that didn’t stop me from having a tonne of fun. It was the first social event I had since Glasgow, essentially (since my big Adieu Do!), and the first party I’d been to in literal months. Also my first time drinking more than a cocktail or two in that long. It’s all about balance, right? So I hung out with my roomies, met their friends, had some laughs, played some games, spent time on the balcony, and just let loose. It was a good time!

…

Hmm, what else? The gym has being going well, and I’ve already made progress. I love being back into powerlifting. I get to challenge myself, enjoy that lovely endorphin boost afterward, and feel like I’m working towards something better. Hell, I even like having the callouses back on my hands from deadlifting! There’s some primal satisfaction there, and I’m glad to have it back in my life.

Okay, let’s get back to writing about Mexico, shall we?

 

..

 

Day 9: Chichén Itzá, Pisté, Valladolid, & Mérida

Yeah, it was a big day. And it started early, because I was eager to get to the archeological site before the sun got too dang hot and before the tourists overran it.

I get myself out of bed, eat a quick breakfast at the hostel, pack my stuff, stow my bag, grab an iced americano, and hop in a collectivo bound for Chichen Itza (I’m not going to put the accentos in every time). And – again with my luck – I didn’t have to wait at all! I was the last one to climb into the van, so we left right away, and I got the front passenger seat! The best views and most personal space! Yay!

CI is only about an hour outside of Valladolid, which was roughly equidistant between Tulum & Merida, and that was the reason I stayed there for a night. The fact that it had such a stupendous cenote was just serendipity.

So I get to CI, pay the entrance fee (something like 250 pesos, but for one of the most visited and top sites in Mexico – if not #1 itself – that’s nothing), and go in the complex. It’s an enormous site with a lot to see, so it’s definitely worth the price. I didn’t have a guide book or person to show me around, though. So instead, I just wandered around, read all the plaques they had, marveled at the ruins, snapped photos, and ignored all the friggen vendors. Which really confused me, actually. Everywhere around the CI property, (local) people had set up tables with souvenirs to buy… And they all had the same wares to sell! And it was nothing that you didn’t see at all the other souvenir stands in every other city in Mexico! Why they would pay the entrance fee to get into the complex, when they could just set up shop at some market in the town they live in, well, I don’t know. I suppose there are ALWAYS tourists at Chichen Itza, so maybe it’s smart to go where the demand is. Regardless, it annoyed me, because it took away from the magic of such an ancient and remarkable archeological wonder. You don’t see kiosks like this at Machu Picchu or the Alhambra or the Eiffel Tower, do you? NOPE. Oh, and they sold this odd whistle thing, that sounds like a dying cat – but apparently mimics the sound of a growling jaguar. So that was not fun to hear all day.

Anyway. Just a mini rant.

The main pyramid, El Castillo, is definitely impressive to witness. The way it’s designed/built makes it has this echo quirk: if you stand maybe 20-30 feet away and clap, you hear this strange/unexpected sound coming back to you. Every time. I don’t know the science behind it, but it was pretty weird to hear. Kinda sounds like a frog, if I had to name it. Try that when you’re there.

I really wish I had some text to teach me all about the significance of the site and all the structures. They all kind of blend together at the end, without being told about the nuance or meaning. The main pyramid was awesome, though, and the humongous Mayan Ball Court was indeed gigantic, and very humbling to walk through. I saw the cute carved jaguar in the temple dedicated to him, in addition to the famous Chacmool statue – which is the reclining person with their head turned 90° that is common to see. I viewed two cenotes, including the Sacred one (which may been used for sacrifices? because they did find skeleton remains at the bottom), and a bunch of other buildings. This includes La Casa Colorada (red house), La Iglesia (the church, but it wasn’t actually a place of worship), El Caracol (likely an astronomical observatory, but named for the shell-like shape of its dome), Plaza de las Mil Columnas (as the name suggests, it had a bunch of columns, near together, but likely not 1000), and various Templos. A lot of the carving work was remarkably intact and intricate, and faces with engorged noses were a common theme between various structures.

Overall, I enjoyed Chichen Itza, but it certainly wasn’t the highlight of my trip or anything. It was very hot, and I was worn out from not eating the best breakfast or sleeping too much and from walking around all day. I did run into Kirsten & Fritzi here too (more of my suerte), but I didn’t have the energy to hang around with them. So we had a nice lil chit-chat then parted ways. Sorry, girls – even us extroverts get socially tired sometimes. I passed other people I recognized from the hostel as well (including Greg, who was actually in the same hostel as me in both Tulum and Valladolid), but I didn’t say hello. I knew it was going to be a long day and that all the comestibles inside the site were going to be very expensive, so I knew I had to conserve my energy. Sorry ‘bout it.

Anyhow, after I toured the entire site and it was nearing noon, I called it a day. Even though it’s a phenomenal attraction that people come from the world over to see doesn’t mean that I had to stay there longer than I was comfortable. Which was something I didn’t realize until I took several trips by myself. Yes, it’s valuable to visit and experience the important sites a country offers, but just because people love the Louvre does not mean that you have to see every piece of art it has on display. When you’re traveling, it’s at least partly a vacation – so do what you want, and don’t feel obligated to care about something that really isn’t your cup of tea.

But I digress.

Even though Chichen Itza is a massive tourist attraction, it isn’t exactly centrally located. The buses and collectivos back to Valladolid are few and far between, similar to Coba and Tulum. I was already so sweaty and hungry, and I didn’t really want to sit around waiting for it – especially with no food or shade. So I started hoofing it out of the complex, and stuck out my thumb as some cars passed. No luck this time, however, so I ended up just walking to the closest town, Pisté, which was about a kilometer down the road.

Checked the menus at various place but wasn’t sold on anything. Then I struck up a (multilingual) conversation with a couple that was seated at a table outside this restaurant that I was considering, and they gave me good advice. Apparently everybody goes to this one place, La Lonchería Los Arcos, and there’s also this superb cenote relatively nearby too – which has an eatery with tables overlooking the water. Sounded pretty great!… Except I had no car to get there, and it was ~5km away.

So I thanked them and headed further into town in search of Los Arcos. Managed to locate it eventually, despite the oppressive heat, and it looked a bit disappointing, to be frank. Hole-in-the-wall kitchen, cheap plastic tables, and no bathroom. BUT! There was a group of tourists patronizing it, and the two that recommended to me seemed like serious, quality people. Plus I was famished at this point, so what’s the harm? I ordered cochinita pibil, a local dish I had seen advertised everywhere – like pulled chicken cooked underground, served with beans, rice, a lil salad, and tortillas. And to drink, I went for a pineapple-chaya juice. If you recall from my last post, chaya is like a Mexican kale. Very refreshing, and the place was cheap too. If you find yourself in the tiny hamlet of Pisté, for some reason, it’s worth a visit.

Then I waited around for a collectivo and rode it to Cenote Ik Kil, probably the most photographed sinkhole in Yucatan, if not all of Mexico. It has all these vines hanging down, some even reaching the water, 40 or 50 feet below. It was the site of Red Bull Cliff-Diving World Series in 2010, actually. So I’m sure that gained it some exposure.

After you pay the cover (80 pesos), as you’re walking to the changing rooms, you pass this hole in the ground – and it shocks you that that is the cenote. All the way down there! It definitely took me by surprise, anyhow, because it is really deep in the earth – and that’s just until the water’s surface! You can bet that it goes a great deal deeper until the actual bottom. Awesome in that I was in awe.

You walk down the stairs to get to the swimming area, and they also have a section where you can jump into the water from relatively high up. Maybe 20 feet – not as extreme as Cenote Zací, but still something to give you pause / make your heart jump when you’re up there. That didn’t prevent lots of people from taking the plunge, though. I even saw kids that looked to be five years old jump off from up there! Repeatedly! What! Lunacy!

So I’m glad I had the cojones to do it – because if I was too scared, and then I saw these literal toddlers doing it without a care in the world, I would’ve been real chagrined. But, nope, I face my fears.

The water, while a bit chilly, felt great on such a hot day. It was a crowded attraction – due to its popularity and relatively small swimming area – but I still enjoyed my time there. And for the Indiana Jones/Tomb Raider/fantasy-video-game aesthetics, you can’t beat it.

Eventually I left that too, and again had trouble finding my way back to Valladolid. I wasn’t stressed about it, though. What happens, happens – and if worst came to worst, I could just take a taxi solo and pay the extra fee. No huge deal, and I still had lots of daylight left.

So I stood on the side of the thoroughfare outside the cenote/hotel complex, hoping for a collectivo with an empty seat to pass. After a while, these three girls come out to the road too, looking like they’re in the same situation as me. So, of course, I ask them if they’re also trying to get back to Valladolid, and fortunately they were. Safety in numbers, right?

And after another ten minutes or so, a minibus passes – fortunately with sufficient space for all of us – so we pile in, then promptly doze off on the ride back. Sun + lots of walking + heat + swimming + rhythmic bumping = good night world!

Arrive back in Valladolid, return to the hostel, get recommendations for a restaurant, then have a really satisfying dinner while people-watching and enjoying my contented feeling and journaling. I ordered queso fundido – which is exactly what it translates to, melted cheese. I opted for chorizo on top, and it came with tortilla chips. Like all the other eateries in Mexico, they also serve you an assortment of homemade salsas, so I enjoyed the pico de gallo and habanero sauce too. AND this restaurant also gave me a black bean dip on the house, which was delicious. For my main, I got tacos dorados – which I guess would be like what we call taquitos here. Tortillas filled with some chicken then deep fried, and covered with sour cream and that white crumbly Mexican cheese (Chihuahua?). Decadent, certainly – but after my fondue appetizer, it was a bit too rich for me. But it came with guacamole and a little salad on the side, and I ate those right up. Amazing meal, and also affordable. I miss it 😦

And by this time, I had to rush to collect my bag, thank the hostel workers, and rush off to the bus station. I bought a cold bottle of white tea with mango (necessary), boarded my bus for Merida, watched the latest episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race (season 9!), then worked on a previous blog post. Got to the penultimate city of my trip and checked into my hostel, which was La Catedral, right by the – you guessed it – cathedral, and situated right off the main square. And my luck continued, because they apparently overbooked the room I originally reserved, so instead: I was given a private room! With a big double bed! And two pillows! And a comfy duvet! And air conditioning! And let me tell you, it was a dream, no pun intended.

But what I did intend, though, was to drop my stuff off, shower, and then go hit the town. It was a Friday night, I had heard only great things about Merida (thanks to Keidan & Laura), and I wanted to go experience it. However, I was just too bushed. I sipped the lemon tea the receptionist gave me, perused the ‘Net, and luxuriated in the privacy and quiet I never had on any other night of my trip. And then had a really fantastic slumber.

 

…

 

Intermission

 

The sun came out! Yay! Hope it’s like that tomorrow too!

I hadn’t eaten much all day, since some avocado toast (#Millennial) around 1:30, so I took a break from this. Cooked up a storm – the ratatouille, pasta, and spinach salads – and chatted with Bailey & Gilmour. Cleaned the kitchen, cleared out the fridge, swept the floor, and watched the first ep of Orange is the New Black Season 2. Just finished rewatching the first season last night, so it’s onto the next, in preparation for Season 5, which premieres this Friday.

Then I showered, shaved, and now here we are! Hanging out with Woodsy unfortunately didn’t happen, but whatever, we’re both tired. So I’ll finish up some of this, then played more Zelda or more watch Orange. Because I deserve it.

Also, Bailey leaves tomorrow, back to Sudbury, until August! And she’s taking her cat, Luna! I’m to’ up about it, because she and I really bonded during the party on Saturday, and I highly enjoy her company. Won’t be the same without her here 😦 But I guess this will make my spending time on the balcony easier, since I have to traipse through her room to get there. And Gilmour will still be here, so all is not lost. And by the time I start working (finally), I’ll probably be too busy/overwhelmed to even notice. Still though – will miss you, Bail.

K, back to Meh-hee-ko.

 

…

 

Day 10: Mérida

Wake up –> hostel breakfast (which was actually pretty great!) –> chat with random guests (two American girls and two older Canadian gentlemen) –> get ready –> go explorin’.

Check out Parque de Santa Lucia, with the giant white couple-chairs that you saw everywhere. Meander to Paseo de Montejo, which is Merida’s answer to the Champs Elysées. A wider boulevard with trees and broad sidewalks and opulent homes flanking it. As was typical, the hostel breakfast only had instant coffee, so I stopped at Sukra, this marvelous café along the Paseo. Had a delectable iced americano – no surprise there – but this one was especially good. And for some reason, I wasn’t feeling the greatest that day. Just tired and not feelin’ it. So I took my sweet time at this café, relaxing, sipping my drank, and perusing the ‘Net for what to do and where to eat in Merida.

Afterwards, I was rejuvenated, and spent the rest of the day walking around the city. Checked out government buildings with their stately colonial architecture and decorations; the cathedral all decked out for La Semana Sagrada (Holy Week, which was a week after I was there); the main square (with the omnipresent large multicoloured sign stating the city name); the public zoo (Parque del Centenario); the brightly painted houses.

Once I got tired/hungry again, I went to La Negrita Cantina, a local bar that was highly recommended. I actually stopped in here earlier and learned about its happy hour – with live music (!!) – so I came back for that. And found the place PACKED. Honestly, when I was there earlier, nearly all the tables were unoccupied. But later on, I had lots of trouble finding a seat, even though the place is voluminous. Eventually I just parked myself on a bar stool, way in the corner. But it was fine, because La Negrita was definitely the place to be at that time, it was a lovely evening, and sunlight was streaming in. I got a mojito, people-watched, and snacked on the free tapas-like dishes they distributed. It was wonderful.

Then more strolling around, trying to figure out how to get back to Cancun the next day, and resting at the hostel, after getting some cheap quesadillas from Las Quekas, right next door. At night, they had an event going on in the main square, so I went to see what that was all about. And there were actual people playing the Mayan ball game! All decked out in (what I assumed to be) Mayan costumes too. Pretty cool to watch, for sure. In this game, you can only hit the ball with your hip, and you try to send it through this hoop, which was about eight feet off the ground. Definitely didn’t seem easy, but it was entertaining.

And that was my first day in Merida! Nothing too exciting, but not every day can be magnificent. Sunshine all the time makes a desert, right? And speaking of, it was actually cloudy when I was there – but I was pleased about that. It was so hot when I was in Valladolid that you could not walk in the sun. So while I was exploring the city, I always crossed the streets so I could stay in the shadows from the buildings. And I worried Merida would be just as sweltering (like, above 35°C with the harsh sun) – but fortunately, I was granted a reprieve! My luck continued 🙂

 

…

 

So, with those 4000+ words, that means I only have one post left to make about Mexico! I considered doing it now, but it’s already 1am and this is already voluble enough.] Thanks for following along, if you have. And the next one should be a good one – my return to Cancun, visiting Isla Mujeres, and most significantly: MY EXPERIENCE WITH BUNGEE-JUMPING! Definitely not one you want to miss.

 

Sending my love+light. Take care, all of you.

 

– Jefe

Job Update, My Summer Sublet, Tulum, Coba Ruins, Valladolid, Cenote-Swimming, Cliff-Jumping, Travel Buddies, & Modeling Underwear for Charity

Good afternoon,

 

It is roughly 3:30 on the last day of May, and I am sitting on the large balcony of my new apartment, enjoying the sun and a nice breeze.

As for the job, I’m still waiting for paperwork to come through before anything moves (further) forward. Because I spent more than six consecutive months outside of Canada in the past five years – while pursuing my MSc in Glasgow – I had to order a records check from the UK as part of the security clearance process. On my own dime. Totally fair, I know – but it costs $160 Canadian for the expedited process and required a bunch of documents I didn’t readily have, including all my addresses for the past ten years. All just for a piece of paper that attests that no, I did not get arrested or charged with anything while living in Scotland. Whatever, you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette.

So I submitted my application for that last Thursday night, and since I paid $70 more, it’s supposed to take two working days (“not including the days of receipt or dispatch”). I opted for that because my position should start sooner rather than later; it’s a bit time-sensitive since it’s a Task Force with a lot of work to be done, not many people, and a deadline come September. That’s also what the hiring manager recommended and squares with what Michael said too, and so I obliged. I expected it to be finished Monday or Tuesday, but my new roomie checked the mailbox yesterday – and nothing yet. So hopefully something arrives today, because if not, I’m going to be really aggravated that I sprang for the “Premium Service” and it takes longer than advertised. So we’ll see, fingers crossed.

Once that is in, though – I feel like everything else will fall into place. I got fingerprinted last Thursday and also peeped some correspondence between various people within the department, all discussing and planning how to bring me on board. It was reassuring to read, definitely, that people I haven’t even met are striving to get me started in this position. They even had a tentative job title for me, “Junior Program Officer.” Again, nothing is yet guaranteed. I haven’t signed any contracts or even received a letter of offer. So it is all very exciting, certainly – but I am not getting my hopes up. That’s my kryptonite, if I haven’t said it already. Getting excited about something / having high expectations that almost nothing can reach, and then inevitably being disappointed / let down. It happens so often, so I have learned to “Lower your expectations!” (like the Amy Poehler gif) and be more realistic (pessimistic).

So there’s that. Oh, one last thing. From this e-correspondence I also gleaned that my (tentative) dates of working would be June 5^th to October 12^th. That’s the 90 days you’re eligible to work under a casual contract. And it would be perfect. Starting next Monday – so I actually have stuff going on, a way to feel accomplished, and will be advancing towards my goals – and it would be ending exactly a week before my 26^th birthday.

Which means, by that point, I would have earned all this money and would have no further commitment. So my plan is: work hard, do a great job, save up, and then take a big trip somewhere. To celebrate my birthday, reward myself after my first governmental gig, indulge that wanderlust, and hit country #30 while I’m still 25! And I even want to cross the last habitable continent off my list, so some exploration of Oceania and Southeast Asia is what I’m leaning towards most.

However – you (should) know how I am about decision-making. I hesitate to book those tickets because I have no idea what life will look like come mid-October. And from what I have heard / according to what my gut says, the field of Diversity & Inclusion is going to be “exploding” in importance this year. And I don’t want to have a 3 or 4-week international trip planned and paid for, if that would make me miss out on exciting and lucrative opportunities. One shouldn’t be unavailable for such a long time when they are just starting their careers, especially if the industry is going to be booming during their absence. SO I don’t know. But it would be really nice to do some more traveling, since Mexico was so phenomenal. Same with the Netherlands, Italy, Spain, and Portugal. Bremen, Germany was wonderful and I enjoyed Oslo too, but they weren’t stand-out recent destinations – the former because I didn’t have enough time in Deutschland and the latter because it was a bit too pricey for me, and I had less than 24 hours to explore. Anyway.

So, if I am starting my job this coming Monday, I will have much more going on in my headspace and life, and I do expect that reading, blogging, and journaling will fall by the wayside once again. So I want to finish writing up about my Yucatan adventure before that happens.

But before I continue that, I’ll tell y’all a bit about my new living sitch.

As I’ve mentioned before, I grew sick of my old apartment, on Nepean St. So I found this great place to sublet for the summer, on Sweetland Avenue, in the heart of Sandy Hill – which is the student area of the city, right near UOttawa. And this street is apparently a protected historical/heritage district, so there’s no big apartment buildings along it – but rather nice homes from the early 1900s, including the one I’m currently inhabiting.

My new roommates – Gilmour & Bailey – and I get along great, and I actually speak with them on a daily basis. The fact that there are common areas to spend time in probably facilitates that, but also, we are much closer together in age and have more in common than my previous flatmate. We might even be having a party this weekend! Which I’m absurdly excited about, because I am the one that always has / hosts social events.  In Glasgow it was Werewolves games and scary movie nights and dinner parties and actual shindigs, and in Montreal it was pre’s and more horror flicks with drinking rules and more game nights. But since I got to Ottawa. NO-THING (minus a couple people over for Smash Bros), because, what were we gonna do, hang out in my bedroom and keep the noise down? No thanks. But now that there’s a living room and big kitchen and great balcony – I want to capitalize upon that. And maybe I’ll become the central cog in a social circle again, because I realized recently that my typical role is suspiciously lacking these days. I’m excited about it.

I spend a lot of time out on the deck, reading and doing crosswords and enjoying the nice weather Ottawa’s been having recently. And I don’t have to worry about making too much noise later at night, and I can cook whenever I want to, and the freezer actually freezes things, and the Internet isn’t erratic AF. I’m very happy here. Not looking forward to moving away from here – but fortunately I don’t have to worry about that for a while yet.

 

—

 

Okay, back to Mexico. Where was I?

 

The Rest of Day 6: Tulum

I wandered more around Tulum after my delightful meal at Tropi-Q. Stopped in a place called Art+Coffee for – you guessed it – an iced americano. The guy tried to give me cold brew and upsell/overcharge me for it, but NAH BRAH, that’s not what I asked for.

I enjoyed that, perused the Internet, and strolled back to the hostel. Got into my swim stuff, dropped by a corner store for some brews, then hopped on a collectivo towards the beach! Walked along the side of the road away from all the resorts before finally arriving at Playa del Paraíso. Stripped off my shirt and shoes and ambled all the way up the beach, to catch a glimpse of the famous Tulum Ruins. It looked like you could swim to the little beach the archeological site offers, but it was nearly dusk, I had my Sol beers, and I didn’t feel like getting incarcerated by the guards for attempted trespassing. So instead, I snapped some selfies, got a kind stranger to take some other photos of me for my gratuitous shirtless Instagram posts, and settled onto the sand, leaning against a fallen tree. Cracked open the foamers, booted up my Kindle, and read more of Ellen Hopkins’ “The You I’ve Never Known” while absolutely adoring my existence at the time. I was so jubilant! The temperature was perfect, there was nearly nobody else to share the shore with (minus a few people, including two women I saw kissing – which also made me smile, because yay, queer kin!), and I was a bit tipsy off the two cans I brought with me. The beer wasn’t even that good – it had lime and salt (flavour?) added to it. I could’ve done without the extra sodium.

But anyway, that didn’t detract from anything. I was supremely happy, the book was enrapturing, and I was LIVING. FOR. IT. Eventually I couldn’t keep my elation contained any longer, so I stowed the e-reader away, dashed into the waves, and went gamboling about the surf. It was momentous. Stripped-down, simple joy.

Sunset was swiftly approaching, so I couldn’t spend too long at the shore, since it would take a while to return to the town section of Tulum. Too soon, I packed up my tingz and started walking back along the coast, then along the road, to the main drag between the beach and central parts of Tulum. Lost my shirt in the process, somehow, and had no hope of catching a collectivo – they were not as common as in Cancun, unfortunately (and unsurprisingly).

It was a long stroll back, that I didn’t particularly feel like doing – so, whatever, YOLO. I stuck my arm out, thumb out, trying to hitch a ride. If it happened, it happened, and if not – well, I had music and podcasts to keep me company on the 40-minute walk back to the Chill Inn Hostel, and a no-quitting attitude.

But it did work out, and only after a minute or two! I was very pleasantly surprised! A nice French couple – from Nice, of course, hence my adjectival use – picked me up, worried that it wasn’t safe to walk along this particular stretch of the road at night. We chatted trilingually for the short trip, in franglaispañol, and it even happened to be a symbiotic lil relationship we had. I was able to help them locate their hostel, Hostal Sheck, since it was one of the ones I was considering for my accommodations, and I just happened to pass it during my earlier wanderings. So, how about that? What goes around comes around. And it felt good to pay them back for their kindness 🙂

Finally, I returned to my own inn, showered off the sand and sea, and googled a good place for dinner. That ended up being La Malquerida, where I had a small table outdoors, right off the pedestrian street – which was perfect for the live music and acrobatics that later started to happen! I had a traditional Mayan dish of fresh-caught fish baked with tomatoes and peppers, served with rice, tortillas, and a salad. Sadly, I forget the name of the meal (that’s what happens when you’re recording all these memories a month and a half later), but I do recommend it. Check my album on Facebook for a photo of it!

 

Day 7: Coba & Tulum

Tulum is well-known for the Mayan ruins it has nearby, which are absurdly picturesque and popular with tourists. If you’ve ever seen an ad for the Mayan Riviera, there’s a very good chance it had a photo showcasing the Tulum Ruins, since it is such a mystical, magical sight. (Indeed, I just google-image-searched that phrase, and I was vindicated)

However, despite all that pulchritude, I decided not to go. The sun is no joke on the Yucatan Peninsula, and the trees (and thus shade) are few and far between at this archeological site. That, plus how crowded it would’ve been, due to its renown, plus its higher price of admission, led me to opt for the Coba Ruins instead. They’re only an hour away by bus, less well-known, and consequently cheaper and less overcrowded by turistas.

Moreover, the best feature about them over those in Tulum is how they are situated in the jungle (so, more opportunities to cool down and less risk of sunstroke), and you can climb the actual pyramid!! You used to be able to do that at Chichen Itza, but they shut that down several years ago. For sure it was hastening the erosion of these World Wonders, and it can definitely be hazardous. The pyramid I mounted had steep stairs, worn down by history and humans, and it was a bit of a perilous ascent. They had a thick rope to assist with going up and down, but even so, I kind of crab-walked when I was descending, on all fours. Wasn’t trynna to take a tumble and screw up the rest of my “trip.” (There’s another pun for ya)

It was quite the unique experience to be on top of such an ancient structure, and I definitely recommend checking it out. The views were wonderful, of course – green all around – and being so high gave you access to a great breeze, to help dry off the sweat that climbing up invited.

The rest of the site was pretty cool, too. Was kinda like Tomb Raider, with all these ruined pyramids / Mayan ball courts / other buildings emerging out of the jungle, covered in vines and with an “undiscovered” feel to them. They also had various “stelae,” which – to my understanding – are large carved stone tablets that recorded legends, or stories, or histories, or something? In any case, they were interesting to see as well.

There isn’t too much I can say about the ruins, as I didn’t have a guide to teach me about them – neither the book nor human version of that. So I enjoyed wandering around it, and that’s that.

Like the collectivos in Tulum, there weren’t many buses commuting to and from Coba either. I tried hitch-hiking again, since I had such luck with it the previous night, but no dice this time. The cost for a cab ride was prohibitive, and #DumpUber, so I bought a bus ticket then went about killing time. There are apparently some magnificent cenotes near the Coba Ruins, but unfortunately I did not have the time to go check them out. Sad! If y’all are going to be in the area and plan on hitting up Coba, you should definitely consider renting a car – maybe with some friends you meet at the hostel. That would greatly facilitate this lil day trip, and then you could spend all the time you wanted at those beautiful sinkholes.

However, I did not try this tactic. So instead, I strolled around, looking for a bite to eat. Settled down at another outdoor table and ordered an iced coffee and “stuffed avocado.” It came with tuna salad, peas, corn, and lettuce. I took a pic but it was not a photogenic meal. But still affordable, yummy, and healthy. Then wandered back to the bus stop, read more of my book, and awaited the damn ADO in the hot, hot heat. Like those in Spain, these buses played random shows/movies with the volume turned up disconcertingly high, and they were in Spanish, of course. On the way in, it was Sleeping Beauty – so I had “Once Upon a Dream” stuck in my head all day – and on the way back it was some sad, darkly-hued film about a woman’s child literally disappearing/dissolving, and then she walks up to this wild lion, that is in this random marina for some reason, because she is so distraught. Like, what ???? Quite odd, that was. So I took a lil siesta instead.

Finally got back to Tulum, booked my bus ticket to Valladolid for the next day, and returned to the hostel to decompress a bit. Chatted with the friends I made – Kirsten and Fritzi – and started planning where to go for dinner.

Then I hopped in another collectivo en route to La Eufemía, a hipster hangout highly recommended by the hostel workers. And, wouldn’t you know it, as I hop out of the minibus, I hear somebody call my name! What! How small is this world! It was Serina & Chelsea, the two Saskatchewan-ers I met back in Playa del Carmen! I knew they were in Tulum as well, but for our paths to cross like that… Wow. They had just been at the same place, too, which made me feel good about my choice.

It’s this small taquería right on the beach, with mattresses to lie on, lounge chairs, a couple hammocks, bumpin’ music, and good food and drink. I went for a quick dip to rinse/cool off, only to find out that there was seaweed everywhere. This wasn’t an issue the previous night, at Playa del Paraíso, but maybe the establishment/tourism board has to remove it themselves? And since La Eufemía was such a hippie place, they wouldn’t do such a thing, disrupting nature like that. That’s the conclusion I came to, anyway. So I’m not sure if going for a short swim actually made me any cleaner, but it did feel good to not be overheated anymore.

It was Happy Hour when I was there, too! So I had two mango margaritas (with a spicy/salty rim) and a bunch of tacos. It all was quite enjoyable, but it might’ve been the most expensive meal I had on my trip, at more than 200 pesos. But whatever, do I care? How often do I get to sit, eat authentic tacos with fresh seafood, sip on a strong cocktail, and enjoy such a priceless view? The answer is: not often enough! So I was happy to pay it. Then I stretched out on one of their beach chairs, read my book, people-watched, and witnessed day transition to night. Superb.

When I finally left the place, I once again had a miraculous / lucky return to Tulum town. I somehow managed to catch the last collectivo for the night, with only a minute to spare from when I walked out of La Eufemía to when I hopped on. I don’t know what it was about those couple days, but the stars were definitely aligned in my favour. (Or maybe it was cosmic recompensation for being so lost for my first couple hours in Tulum, who knows?)

Then: back to Chill Inn, shower off, lotion up (I was still sunburnt and peeling), and wander around more. I visited Serina & Chelsea at their hostel, the Weary Traveler. Which was definitely a hoppin’ place, and maybe I should’ve stayed there instead. Ah well, hindsight is 20/20, and it’s not like the Chill Inn was horrendous. But theirs had a free cocktail hour, live music, many more people, a pool, hammocks, etc, etc… So if you’re going, look into that.

We hung out a while, I grew jealous of their digs, then Serina & I went walking around a bit. She bought some instant noodles – fideos, a word it took me a while to remember – and then we parted, sadly. Haven’t seen her since 😦 Miss ya, girl!

I then went to a hole-in-the-wall I read about, that had dirt-cheap food. It was either four tacos al pastor or guacamole for 80 pesos, so I went for the latter, since I had had plenty of the former theretofore. It was delicious, certainly. Just wish I would’ve had enough coin to go for both! I sat at the plastic table on the sidewalk, wrote in my journal, then had two random men next to me start speaking to me in Russian. Um, excuse me? Do I look like a Muscovite? Not exactly. Funny nonetheless. They asked for my recommendations for what to do in town, and were telling me about this amazing thing they heard about. I got excited – because maybe I could rise early the next day to check it out?! – but it turned out to just be the cenotes in the area. Disappointing.

I moved onto a street cart after that, with the 70 pesos I had left on me, and asked the lady working it what I could get for that. She made me a yummy torta con pollo – like a grilled chicken sandwich, with two mini sachets of red and green salsa to accompany it – and I went back to my hostel, enjoyed my snack, and watched Scream Queens. A great way to end the night.

 

Day 8: Tulum & Valladolid

I woke up, chatted with some hostel-mates over the delightful free breakfast they served (a cute yogurt + fruit + granola, and the previous morning’s was a delicious savoury crepe with cheese and mushrooms), packed my things, and made off for greener pastures.

I went to Café Ki’bok, which was another establishment recommended on TripAdvisor. Had an amazing iced americano and used their outstanding WiFi to torrent the new episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race and The Challenge. It was, no joke, six times faster than what I had at Garry’s place. And this was in a small coffee shop in a little town in Mexico, so….. (frog emoji) (tea emoji)

Then I returned to the taquería that helped me out so much on my first day and devoured like 8 yummy tacos. They were all cheaper than 20 pesos each, with some interesting fillings like potato&chorizo, eggs&chaya (like a Mexican kale), and the usuals like chicharrón and salchicha. It’s called El Canaston, and you need to patronize it when you’re in Tulum. Cheap, delicious, environmentally-friendly, and run by darling people.

Then to the bus station, then on board, finished my book, listened to Sam Smith, and eventually got to Valladolid. Struggled through the sweltering heat with all my stuff and found my hostel, Tunich Naj. It wasn’t my first choice: everybody recommended Hostal La Candelería, which is where Kirsten & Fritzi were staying, but it was all booked up when I went to reserve a room. Oh well. I only spent one night there.

Valladolid is inland, so there’s no sea breeze to help keep things cool. Same with Merida. So this part of my trip was especially moist. Fortunately, there is a phenomenal cenote right in the middle of the city, which happened to be a short five-block walk from my hostel! So I unpacked, changed into my trusty Speedo, and made a beeline straight there, after getting sweaty in the process of lugging my backpack around.

It’s called Cenote Zací, and it was my favourite one of the trip. Also the biggest, the most spectacular, the least crowded, and the cheapest – an absolute steal at 30 pesos. So you need to make that happen, if you’re in town. And, continuing the trend of it being a small world or my luck coming through in these couple days – as I’m walking down to the sinkhole, I run into Kirsten & Fritzi! I suppose Valladolid is a smaller town without all that much to do, but still, it’s quite something that I had these serendipitous meet-ups during my trip. That’s the magic of travel.

And I’m even happier they were there, because their presence (and Kirsten’s accompanying me) gave me the nerve to jump off a cliff into the water! Cenotes are hella deep, so there’s no risk of hitting the bottom – but still, it was quite the distance to fall before smacking the surface. Maybe 25 feet? And naturally, it looks a lot higher when you’re actually up there, about to “take the plunge,” than from afar. Both K and I did it, and Fritzi was nice enough to take photos and record it, and oh WOW was it thrilling. It was a bit painful, hitting the water from such a height – and my arms were reddened from the impact – but wow, there’s nothing like that adrenaline rush. I ended up jumping off three different times, and it was a hell of a time. The girls were telling me others leapt into the water from even higher – from atop this tree on the outside of the cavern – but NOPE, forget that. It would involve climbing the tree, jumping out instead of just down, and avoiding the rope at the bottom. Who am I, Brendan Prouse? No thanks, I’ll pass. “Challenge by choice,” right Emily?

I really enjoyed swimming around and cooling off. It was a stupendous place to spend a sweltering afternoon, being in awe of these natural wonders, and watching the light shift over the cave’s walls. I encouraged others to cliff-jump too, and clapped when they surfaced after. Some of these were a group of Italian girls, one of whom later asked me about my nipple piercing, if it hurt, as she was gonna get hers done soon. I’m always glad to be a source of information, and it’s a surprisingly common question I get – but this usually comes from people I know, and not total strangers. Pretty funny, though. I guess I look approachable enough?

When the cenote closed for the day, I went back to my hostel, showered, changed, and struck out for dinner. The receptionist told me about this place, La Selva (the forest), which corresponded with TripAdvisor’s recommendations. When I walked in, though, there was nobody else there – which is never a good sign when you’re looking for a restaurant. I wasn’t cowed, though (and was also famished), and it turned out well after all. I ordered essentially one of everything from their menu, since the prices were that good (20-30 pesos). I got a cheese empanada, a meat one, a salbut, chalupa, sope, tostada, and one other thing, and oh wow, it was delicious. I used a bit too much habanero sauce on these, so I was perspiring from the heat, but everything was yummy. Lots of deep-fried goodness.

Then wandered ‘round the city, picked up some canned cocktails from a neighbourhood grocer, sat in the main plaza (Parque Francisco Canton) and started a new book – this time Liane Moriarty’s “Truly Madly Guilty” – while sipping on a margarita and gazing at the city’s cathedral, all illuminated. Then walked to the Convento de San Bernadino, an old nunnery, which had a light show projected onto it, detailing the history of Mayan civilization, Spanish colonialism, and how Valladolid came to be the place it is today. Nothing like free entertainment, especially on such a balmy night!

Finally, returned to the hostel and watched the new ep of The Challenge: Invasion outdoors, while drinking a cuba libra. Then packed it in for the night, turned in early, because the next day, I was up at 7:30, to get to Chichen Itza before it became too crowded and hot with the midday sun.

And that is what I will write about next! Because I’m over 4550 words and have been hungry for hours and it’s already after 10pm and I want to get off the computer and watch the new episode of The Challenge – but this time it’s Champs vs. Pros!

 

—

 

Finally: I went to various other CrossFit classes with “Woodsy” at KRX Fitness, to make the most of the two-week trial they gave me. Really liked it (and was surprised at that), and I did see progress in myself, especially with my stamina… But it costs $125 per month and has limited hours. I prefer to go at my own pace, anyway, so I just signed up for another two-week trial yesterday, with Anytime Fitness. Back to regular weightlifting (back squat, deadlift, chest press, bicep curl, leg press, tricep press-down) with all the time I need for rest between sets.

But I’m glad I got to try it out, as I’d been curious about CrossFit for years (thanks to The Challenge, honestly). And it was fun meeting the other people who patronize that gym, particularly Carolyn, the trainer. She’s a sweetheart and I miss her 😦

 

One last thing: thanks to Ernie, I found out about an underwear fashion show tomorrow, sponsored by Stroked Ego and taking place at Lookout, to fundraise for the Ten Oaks Project. Sounds like something I wanted to check out anyway, but like with trivia – why spend my own money to do something when, instead, I could get paid for doing it myself? I messaged the organizer, and voila, fortune favours the bold, I’ll be modeling some underwear on the runway tomorrow! Alongside all these ūberfit GOV players, sure, so maybe I won’t be looking the best – but whatever, it’s a different aesthetic I have going for me, no más. Is #Dadbod still in?

So if you want a fun night AND to contribute to an amazing cause, come out to Lookout tomorrow! Doors open at 8 and it’s only $10! Come support the kids and keep me company / distract me from the fact that I do not have an eight-pack like the other models !!

 

‘Til next time darlings. And keep your fingers crossed that this UK record check comes in pronto!

 

All the best,

 

– Jefe

Some T about My Governmental Job Opp, A New Home (for the Summer), CrossFit, & More Mexico/Travel Ramblings!

Oh! Wow! I didn’t see you there! Funny meeting you in a place like this.

 

Anyhow.

 

So I have amazing news. I am quite sure that I have landed a job in government, working in Diversity & Inclusion, on a casual contract basis. Which means I have 90 working days at my disposal, and once I deplete those, I can’t work in the same department until the start of the next governmental year.

Which might not seem ideal, but people do that throughout their entire careers, without ever having periods of unemployment. They just go from casual contract to casual contract to cazh-con to CC, and then the year begins again, and you can return to the original department!

And once you are already in government, it becomes much easier to get other jobs within it. So this opportunity is a foot in the door, along with many other benefits. The work is something I care passionately about – how to encourage diversity, enhance inclusion, and dismantle obstacles to both in the workplace – and also an area I will excel in. I bring expertise to the table, particularly related to the LGBTQ+ angle that is so emergent these days. My future department wants to be proactive in their policies, to be on the vanguard of the movement to increase Diversity & Inclusion, and I will aid in that.

The job will also involve a good amount of research, collecting data, analyzing it, synthesizing it all into a coherent report, and publicizing the findings. More strengths of mine, thanks to the three papers I did that involved performing my own empirical research, with my master’s thesis as the obvious example. My experience with online content creation – through social media and blogging for the Lambda Foundation, Camp Wynchemna, and as part of the AUCC Students for Development grant I received to be an intern at Nexos Voluntarios – will also prove useful in this position.

The 90 days will start sooner rather than later, since the Task Force I will be a part of must create that report by September – and from what I understand, at least one person (but maybe two) of the already-small group is on leave. So it’s a bit time-sensitive, it seems, so I’m hoping to hear back from the woman next week and maybe even hit the ground running by Wednesday. I got a phone call the day after the meeting, in which she asked for my full legal name and date of birth – which I take as a sign that they are starting the security clearance process for me. Which they wouldn’t do if they weren’t serious about this / moving forward with my hiring. So I’m super excited about this!

And this casual contract will take me until the end of the summer, and with any luck, I’ll have found another position by then. I’m optimistic, and very excited about the whole opportunity. It came at a great time, too, since last week I was literally pounding the pavement, handing off resumes to all these restaurants to be a server, just so I had something to do / a reason to get out of the house.

Also, I told my roommate a week and a half ago that I’m moving out, so I’ve been apartment-hunting. Even still, I was hesitant to commit to a full summer sublet, just because who knows where I would be come mid-august? What if the reality TV show came through? What if nothing else in Ottawa manifested, and I decided to work on the high ropes course again? What if I decided to forget the whole thing, fly the coop, and travel the world? I didn’t want to be locked down to an apartment here in O-Town, or say I would take something for the full summer and then have to back out (and thereby let somebody down). So I had decided to move into Julia Conzon’s new roommate’s empty room until mid-July, and then figure it out then.

But now that I (likely) have something until the fall, I can find a place longer-term. And so I did. I’m moving this Sunday or Monday into this really great apartment on Sweetland Ave, in Sandy Hill. I already met the two people I’ll be cohabitating with – Gilmour and Bailey – and even the lil cat Luna. The place is very nice, especially for the price I’m paying. Top floor of a beautifully-designed past-century house, with a large balcony, air conditioning, and even a dishwasher! Plus, you know, some amenities that are commonplace but that I have missed while residing in the current, Nepean St location. Those being a living room / common area and reliable Internet. The place is furnished as well, and G & B seem sweet, fun, and with more in common with me than my current roomie. So I’m excited about it! Yay! (Will just potentially have to buy a TV monitor so I can keep enjoying my BBCan5 & RPDR & trashy MTV shows!)

Speaking of, the finale of The Challenge: Invasion (of the Champions) just aired on Tuesday, and I happened to place FIRST in my league of the official MTV Fantasy Competition! So, from what I understand, I won myself a trip to the VMAs, maybe for two, which are happening in California in late August. Now, I got first place in my own public league, but I am not the person with the most points over everybody who entered. So… I guess we’ll see what happens? I haven’t received an email yet, but it hasn’t been that long since the finale showed. In any case, earning first place is thrilling in itself.

And one more piece of exciting news – I am checking out KRX Fitness, a Cross-Fit gym with a free two-week trial, in an hour with the singular Nick Woodward! I’m a bit cowed by the prospect of potentially puking from (over)exertion, but looking forward to it nonetheless. I gotta push past my comfort zone and “Challenge” myself, right?

SO before I dive right into the working world again, and probably get overwhelmed at the beginning (since I fully expect it to be a lot of work and very challenging, but I’m looking forward to that, so I can grow and learn and become a better worker and person), I should finish up writing up Mexico. So, shall we?

—

Day 5: Akumal

 

My fifth day started in Playa del Carmen, where I met my hostel buddies up on the rooftop for the breakfast. They were all going to Akumal Beach, famous for being the place where you can swim alongside sea turtles. I looked it up on TripAdvisor, and somebody had recently left a review saying that there was a suspension on snorkeling with the tortugas. But these new travel friends had heard from others that it was still on, and it was a cheap collectivo ride away, and apparently a beautiful beach – so even if I didn’t spy any sea turtles, it would still be a good day. What else would I have done, anyway? I had woken up, planning to go to XPLOR, an adventure theme park with ziplining, rafting down an underground river, a buffet lunch. It was something like $90 US, but for a full day of thrilling activities PLUS all the food I could eat, that price is justifiable. Trying to kick my oft-tight-fisted instincts anyway. Alas, you could not buy tickets online for the day of (no idea why), and I wasn’t going to just appear at the park and hope they had space left – and also pay the full price (~$125) without any discounts. So I switched my plans up last-minute.

So Serina & Meg go first, since they were ready, rarin’ to go, and I didn’t want to hold them up. I told them I’d meet them there, like I did with the Kiwi Couple, and if it were meant to be, then I would find them. And if not, well, I have no trouble spending a day at the beach alone.

I take my sweet time getting ready, meander to the collectivo station, grab an iced coffee on the way, stop in a cute lil café for some food to go, end up chatting with the cashier – who was yet another Canadian – then hop in a minibus headed south. I strike up a conversation with my seatmate, another Canadian, and pick his brain about what’s to do around there. I considered doing XPLOR the next day, and just storing my stuff in a locker while en route to the next town, but through talking with this guy, it became clear to me that – contrary to what I had originally thought – I actually was running out of time. And this was not even halfway through my trip! And was originally worrying that I wouldn’t have enough to fill up my days!

This convenient chit-chat decided various things for me. There was not enough time for me to go to Belize (which would’ve been my thirtieth country), which wasn’t advised anyway. I didn’t even have enough days to justify riding all the way down to Bacalar for a day and a night, even if that was recommended to me, for its idyllic charm and picturesque five-hued blue lagoon. So I made my mind up. It would be Tulum-Coba-Valladolid-Chichen Itza-Merida-Cancun-Isla Mujeres. And that’s exactly what I did, and I don’t regret any of it.

Anyhow, I eventually get to Akumal – it was further than expected – and wander along the white sand beach, looking out for a spot to sit in the shade of a palm tree and also keeping my eyes open for the two girlies. And I manage to find both. Meg & Serina were sitting in the blazing sun, and I wasn’t trying to get even more toasted, so I go and claim a nice lil plot for us further up the beach. I eat my sandwich, smile at the shoreline, read my book, and then shoot the breeze with those two when they meander over. Then I go splashing around the waves solo, goggles on, hunting for some turtle friends. I never locate any of them, sadly (even though Meg did), but I do swim /drift over some coral and other fishies. The water felt amazing, of course, and I fully appreciated how I was in legitimate paradise once again. Couldn’t get enough of it.

[And then while walking back to the girls, some random woman who passes me says, “Wow! That’s a tiny swimsuit!” Like, really? Did I ask you? Is it really that small? No and no, so sashay away. Still good for some laughs tho.]

When the three of us tire of the beach / grow a little hungry, we go searching for a place for a bite, ultimately settling on this low-key cantina with a comida corrida (like a menu of the day, a cheap multi-course meal). I had fish tacos with beans and rice. I figured, since we were so close to the beach, it would be supa fresh. And maybe it was, I can’t remember. The food wasn’t remarkable, but it was certainly affordable.

And then we return to Playa and stroll down La Quinta. I wanted to go back to the Mamitas Beach Club / homosection and swim some more, but the ladies didn’t, so we split. And went and frolicked in the ocean some, and it was all so blissful. I’m missing it now, that feeling of complete liberation from cares & concerns. And the temperature was like bathwater. Amazing.

The night went similar to the two previous. Free Happy Hour on the roof, Meg & I timing ourselves chugging these drinks, giggling and laughing and chatting with everyone, and then our random contingent going on a ragtag adventure. We stopped for delicious & super cheap quesadillas, then meandered to another hostel that both V and I had heard was having a party tonight. We manage to find it (it was all the way across town), climb the stairs, and waltz right in. You know that secret, pretend you belong there, act like you own the place, and people won’t stop you? So I tried that… But unsuccessfully. The party was packed, so if I just moved a bit faster, I could’ve escaped paying the cover. And don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t aware that you had to give money to get in, so I just entered like I usually do at parties. But the doorman came up and seemed a bit angry with me. Like, sorry dude, you didn’t post the price anywhere.

Regardless, it was TWO HUNDRED PESOS to get in. Which doesn’t really translate to much in Canadian money (like $15), and it came with a large (triple) tequila drink… But still, I was salty about it. Only the dudes had to pay, the six of us (3 girls & 3 guys) talked about splitting the difference so all of us only gave 100, but when I went to collect from my friends, the deal was off. Easy to get annoyed by that when you’re drinking, but really, what’s the point? I’m fortunate enough in my life that I really don’t give a damn about losing $7. And my frugality can often be a weakness. So it’s literally whatever.

The party on top of this hostel wasn’t really great, either. Too-loud trancey music (which I’m not into and which prevented talking) and not enough room to really walk around or dance – but still hot bartenders and cool fire-dancers. So Meg & I ditched it after not too long, and the rest of the night was my favourite. We went back to the gay club, which was even emptier and sadder than the previous night, so we did a little tour, snapped some photos in the dance cages they had in there, laughed about the whole thing. Then popped in this super random club right next door that still looked like it was setting up for the night and definitely not open – all their lights were on and people were putting out chairs – but Meg and I just pranced around the dance floor. Literally. Skipping and jumping and doing sloppy pirouettes and somersaults and handstands and acting like we were in the tumbling section of a gymnastics comp. It was SO much fun, so stupid and silly and harmless and enjoyable. The BEST.

It was clear we weren’t really welcome, and the employees/owners didn’t know what to do with two gringos borrachitos just making fools of themselves (they didn’t say anything to us at all, but I feel like I asked “Está abierto?” when we entered) – so we left after not too long, and went in search of some eats.

Wandered down La Quinta, which isn’t really known for its cheap food. We stopped at a pizza/empanada place – I had a shrimp slice – and Meg was hilariously trying to bargain the guy down for an empanada or two. In both English and (basic) Spanish, her Australian accent and all, and she was trying so hard. But he wouldn’t budge! I tell you, it was a sight to behold. And she bought one anyway, and grumbled that it wasn’t even worth the money. EL OH EL.

But we made up for this by going to the old favourite, El Fogón. She got some quesadillas, I ordered yummy nachos, and we had a great time. Even though I spilled some salsa on my pants, washed it off at the sink, and it looked like I peed myself. But I didn’t care at all. It was a fabulous night, my favourite during the entire trip, and Meg solidified herself as somebody I can definitely kiki with / get ridiculous and be silly and have the most fun. Miss you so much, girl!

The friends I made in Playa del Carmen & the wonderful place I stayed in made it the stand-out of the whole twelve days. I had good hostel experiences elsewhere, for sure, but PDC was legendary.

And that brings me to….

 

Day 6: Tulum

I wake up, get breakfast, say adios to my lovely nuevos amigos, then go to the ChouChou Café, an adorable and beautiful coffee shop down the street from the hostel on the way to the collectivo station. Perfect. I sit on the porch, have a delicious shakerito (espresso + ice + un poquitito, no más, of milk), and enjoy the ambiance… Then head to grab a minibus to my next stop, sweating profusely because I’m carrying all my stuff and it is bloody hot out. All part of the charm, though.

I probably chat up my seatmate on the ride down, I’m not sure. I did that various times, because the best suggestions come from the locals. And I get to Tulum and have the most trouble finding my hostel. It was actually dreadful, maybe the lowest part of the trip. I had an address and a pin dropped on Google Maps, and I walked up and down the damn street searching for it numerous times. Of course, this being relatively rural Mexico, there weren’t many numbers on the houses to assist me with locating it. And I even stopped in various nicer-looking restaurants and asked them if they knew where it was, and they had never even heard of it! One guy even used his own phone to Google it, with no progress made, and then TWICE called the number they had given me, but nobody picked up. Like, what?! Am I being punk’d? What is the deal? And it was sweltering out and the area it was supposed to be in wasn’t the nicest and I lost a little bit of hope, to be honest. I didn’t want to wander all the way to another hostel, in hopes that they had a bunk available (since the one that was recommended to me was all full-up), when I still felt I was going to actually find the “Chill Inn Hostel.” And I didn’t want to be charged for the original one, if I wasn’t staying there, or go through the rigmarole of reversing that charge.

So FINALLY I manage to hunt down the place. They did have their number posted, but it was hard to see – and since NONE of the surrounding buildings did, I wasn’t really looking for that. They had ABSOLUTELY NO SIGN outside to signify that, “Yes, international travellers – without working cell phones or knowledge of this area and maybe even no command of the local language – this is the hostel you’re staying at! Super easy to find!” SO DUMB.

I was livid when I entered. And when I expressed this, and told the worker (en español) that there was no sign and how are people supposed to locate it if you’re not doing anything to facilitate that, by putting something at least a bit recognizable outside, all she said was, “We don’t need one. If you know where it is you can find it.” Like, yes, obviously if you know where to look for it you can locate it… But people who have never been to the hostel or even to Tulum will have no idea! And she was absolutely nonplussed about the whole thing. Aaarrgghhh, maddening!

I vented a bit more to two young, blonde girls that were in the hostel too, Fritzi (German) and Kirsten (Dutch). And that wasn’t the greatest first impression, let me tell you. Sweaty and frazzled and – by how relaxed everybody else was – seemingly overreacting. Fortunately that didn’t really appall them too much, as we ended up hanging out later at the hostel, and in Valladolid, and even at Chichen Itza.

I went into my room, cooled off a bit – both literally and figuratively – then went out for some lunch. Maybe I was a bit hangry as well. Probably. Returned to the taqueria with the gentleman who rang the hostel and really tried to help me out, because I wanted to show him my gratitude. Unfortunately, they were out of tacos for that day, so I ended up patronizing that establishment on my last afternoon in Tulum.

Instead, I ate at Tropi-Q, which had an amazing comida corrida for ~120 pesos. If I remember correctly, it was cucumbers with cayenne pepper, then some fresh bread, with papaya agua fresca, then spaghetti with spinach and olive oil, and finally pork with black beans and a Mexican-style ratatouille. Chopped/sautéed vegetables with sour cream and some cheese. Everything was delicious, it was so cheap, and I sat out on the patio and people-watched.

I had a conversation with my neighbour, as well, who was an American woman in her 30s or 40s who just upped and moved to Tulum for two months, to get away from the hustle+bustle of US life. She was studying Spanish and enjoying the beach and just taking it easy. Very Eat, Pray, Love of her, and I value that. Tulum has that effect on people, I gathered. Everyone seemed to absolutely adore the town, and it’s somewhat of a surfers’ paradise. Amy Demone spent eight full days there, just working during the day then heading to coastline at night, and doing yoga on the sand. Tulum is, like, the hot new thing in Mexico. Very trendy and upcoming and hipster. I certainly liked it, don’t get me wrong – but maybe it’s a bit overrated? I don’t know. I didn’t spend the most time there, so maybe I didn’t relax to the extent I should’ve or really took the time to absorb all the town had to offer. I don’t know.

What I didn’t love about Tulum is that it has two parts: the town (which is a bit dingy + dusty, to be honest) and the beach, which is much nicer, greener, and paradisiacal. Which means, of course, that it is more touristy and expensive, with the classier restaurants and beach resorts. And in order to go from one to the other, you either had to rent a bike or take a collectivo – the former which I didn’t spring for, since I never spent a full day there, and the latter which were not as regular as in Cancun.

Still, Tulum was awesome, and definitely worth the visit – because it’s the new thing to do, if nothing else. I’ll finish up writing about it later, as this is at ~3800 words currently & I have exciting plans to grab a drink right now!

 

So there you have it: some T about the job sitch, my new home (printing out + signing the sublease today), and more travel ramblings.

Hope y’all enjoyed. And I welcome your feedback! Do you want more funny stories and misadventures? Or more musings and philosophical insights? Or straight-to-the-point, what-did-I-do-in-Mexico details? Or a mixture of all of them. Let me know.

‘Til next time my darlings,

Love+light,

 

– Jefe

México Mágico (Parte Uno)

Aloha! Or should I rearrange that and say – holaa!

 

So I wrote and uploaded my most recent update yesterday, and I just finished filing my taxes – but I’m at a table outside, sitting in the sun, and just indulged in a grande quarter-sweet light-ice no-dairy iced coffee at Starbucks despite the fact that I’ve been suffering from insomnia this past week and couldn’t/didn’t fall asleep until 5 am last night. So I figured, before I go walking around Ottawa some more, let me at least get the ball rolling on a new blog post, all about my trip to Mexico. So let’s jump right in.

 

 

Day 1, March 29^th: Ottawa-Philadelphia-Cancun

Woke up at 3:30 am after only going to bed after midnight. I opted to be hedonistic – have a late-night snack and watch some RPDR – instead of being a good Christian and going to bed early. Whatever, right? I’d get more rest in Mexico.

Head to the bus stop when it’s still dark, listening to new music (Brooke Candy & Kerli), get to the airport, have my future breakfast (yogurt + granola) thrown out because it was a “liquid” and wouldn’t fit in a 1-litre bag, and wait 10 minutes in a 3-person line at the Express Tim Horton’s only to find out they don’t have Ice Capps, despite what their sign says. Chit-chat with the check-in agent, suspect people are judging me for my orange/coral nails (“Hot & Spicy” from OPI), download The Challenge: Invasion, and fly to Philly. Catch up on Scrabble, complete some crosswords, watch The Edge of Seventeen on the plane, and land safely in Cancun! Customs takes forever, but as soon as I get outside, a smile immediately comes to my face. The weather was so balmy, the sun was shining, there was cheap beer and margaritas, and the shuttle to downtown Cancun only cost $5 US. And I managed to get on an earlier one, instead of waiting another 45 minutes – simply because I asked. Audentes Fortuna iuvat.

So I get dropped off at the ADO station, walk down Avenida Tulum, withdraw some pesos from a Scotiabank – and honestly had no idea how much to take out. I obviously hadn’t slept much and didn’t quite have the conversion rates down. Fortunately, I didn’t have to pay any fees to use the ATM – thanks, Global Partner Alliance!

I have no sense of where my damn hostel is, since the street signs in Central Cancun are few and far between. And I’m carrying all my valuables, in a pair of jeans and lugging around my hoodie and leather jacket, and sweating so much. I stop in a 7-11 and ask for directions – and the guy is so kind that he looks it up on his phone! What a sweetheart.

So I manage to locate La Casa del Viajero, knock, no answer. So I just waltz right in, see construction going on, and I’m like… What? Is this the right place? But it was, and this was a common theme of my Mexico trip: things that seemed a bit sketchy or unsure, but you just gotta trust in it – and then it works out for the best. It was the same when the hostel worker (and apparently the contractor/construction guy too), Martin, takes my money but doesn’t have change for me. What can ya do? Just breathe, hope for the best, and “it’s fine.”

I meet some of the other guests, make fast friends with a Kiwi couple, then look up good places to eat – ‘cause I was hungry at this point! I change into shorts and a sleeveless shirt (never to wear anything else during my trip!) and hit the road, heading to a taquería that was recommended on TripAdvisor. I order “un orden” of tacos al pastor – so kind of a make-it-yourself dish with tortillas and marinated pork with pineapple. Came with grilled baby onions, fried black beans, sautéed nopal (cactus leaves), and, naturally, lime, onions, cilantro, and an assortment of salsas (red, green, pico de gallo). I had a Corona too, of course, and I just relished how yummy and affordable everything was. The weather was perfect, there was a great breeze, and I was in friggin’ Mexico. I had no idea I would be there, even a week prior – and I was ecstatic to have made it to my twenty-ninth country. I wrote about this in my journal, breathed it all in, and was smiling so wide. Magnífico.

Then I wandered around, strolled through markets, searched for sunscreen (by asking for “cream against the sun” because I didn’t know the word “bloqueador”), stopped back at the hostel, and then geared up to go to the Zona Hotelera – which is what everyone thinks of when they picture Cancun. It’s the white sand beaches, turquoise waters, huge hotels and nice resorts and bumpin’ clubs. A two hours’ walk from the downtown section, or less than a half hour on these big buses that run constantly and only cost 11 pesos to hop on – not even a loonie. That exchange rate was really workin’ for me during my trip!

I initially headed to the ME – the hotel where Jonna, Jasmine, CJ, Derek, Emilee, Ayiiia, Bronne, & Joey stayed on The Real World: Cancun – and walked right up the entrance to “fake it ‘til I make it” and seem like I knew exactly where I was going… Only to be stopped by a construction worker. The hotel was apparently undergoing renovations and wasn’t open at all. And I rode the bus all the way down to check it out. Alas.

So I put my headphones in and marched all the way back up to the main section of the Hotel Zone – with all the huge clubs. Coco Bongo, Senor Frog’s, Dady’O, Mandala, La Vaquita. They were all blasting music and competing for attendees. But at like $40 US to enter, nah. Even it was open bar. They had scantily clad dancers enticing people to come in, neon paint, black lights – and everything turned up to 11. It was something to see, for sure. But not exactly my scene, especially since I was traveling solo. So I marveled at the debauchery a bit, then walked on down to a private beach. Could still hear the house music, remixes to popular songs – but coupled with the sounds of the waves. All the lights on the water, people sitting on the sand, enjoying the night for all it was… Just amazing.

Then I wandered over to Casa Tequila, ordered a lime-salt-rocks margarita, listened to the mariachi band, and wrote more in my journal. Then walked more around, with all these vendors trying to sell me things and entice me to go in their bars and strip clubs. An easy way to deter them? Just tell ‘em “I’m not straight.” And they back right off, haha.

Then returned to the hostel on a ~party bus~ (lights, loud music, people drinking), got to know the other visitors more (New Zealanders, a Russian, the Quebecker host and his BC friend, Germans everywhere), watched The Challenge, and hit the sack.

 

Day 2: Cancun

I sleep in, enjoy the free breakfast (huevos revueltos con frijoles negros y toast y café instante) out on the patio by the pool, chit-chat, and strategize with the Kiwi couple. I lead them to the stop for the shuttle to the Zona Hotelera (so they aren’t waiting for 20 minutes for one to show up like completely morons, as I did the night prior) and agree to meet them there. I grab a delicious iced americano, purchase some aerosol sunscreen, then ride the bus over to Playa Delfines as well. Once again, I hop off at the wrong time, so I have to walk along the main road through the punishing midday sun. But I was not going to let any of that get me down, because it was a marvelous day in a new country! Why would I be upset about such trivialities! No way, no how. And I even managed to see some iguanas on the stroll over.

I locate the beach, and oh WOW, it is gorgeous! Truly picture-perfect – not too crowded, a great sea breeze to keep the heat index down, nice amenities (showers, bathrooms, umbrellas), and all for free! And I even manage to find my New Zealander friends, which seemed pretty lucky to me. So we spend a good part of the afternoon there, together.

I body-surfed, walked up and down the shore, sunbathed, sat in the sand and let the waves crash around me, bantered with my new-found friends, read Mindy Kaling’s “Why Not Me?”, did some swimming, and did not take any minute of it for granted. It was ideal and idyllic.

We snapped some photos with the multicoloured, larger-than-life city name sign, like those everywhere else in Mexico – Valladolid, Isla Mujeres, Merida – then walked back up the main road, seeking some ruins I saw on the map. Never really found any of them, but we did happen upon the Mayan Museum, which I heard good things about. However, it was their last day in the country and didn’t have money to burn, and we were all hungry, dehydrated, and a bit sunburnt at this point. So we split up – I went to the best taquería on TripAdvisor (Tacún) and had a margarita and arrachera tacos, and they returned to downtown Cancun.

I stopped back at the hostel, hung out in the pool a bit, rested some, realized how damn red I was (I should’ve reapplied), and later did an abortive attempt to go to a local gay club. It was already 9:30 and nobody was there, and I was beat anyway. So I stopped by another bar, which had three tequila sunrises on special for 120 pesos – or less than $10 Canadian. I sipped on those, wrote more in my journal, and eventually meandered back to La Casa del Viajero. Mostly everyone was gettin’ their drank on – barely diluted full glasses of whiskey and cheap Mexican beer and broken mugs etc – so I hung around this chaos for a bit, laughing with the rest of ‘em.

When I travel, though – I very rarely go out, and I was tired from all the sun and heat. So I later showered, applied aloe lotion everywhere (I’m not trying to look like a snake mid-molt), packed my bags, and went to sleep.

 

Day 3: Playa del Carmen

“Playa” was my favourite part of the trip. Thanks to Martin’s advice, I took a collectivo (like a crowded van, like in those professional rideshare outfits) down the coast to PdC for only 40 pesos, instead of a bus that would’ve been more expensive, taken longer, and been less of a cultural experience.

And the midday Yucatan sun is hawt on that day, so carrying my stuff and trying to navigate a new city was not the most pleasant of experiences. But I found my hostel, the Lobo de Mar, pretty quickly – and it was definitely the right choice. I loved it! It was one of those nicer, “cooler,” more social ones. I mean, they had a diving shop kiosk in their lobby, a rooftop bar open to the public (with a mini pool), free water and WiFi and breakfast, comfortable beds, attractive employees, discounts for other local businesses, and the best part – a free happy hour for guests every night! And the price was comparable to everywhere else I stayed, too. I loved it, and a big part of that was that I actually made friends there – facilitated by the gratis cocktails, no doubt.

I drop my things off, do some lite research on where to eat lunch, and go to Cueva del Chango for some grub. Which was also awesome. Great atmosphere – they had a small waterfall, a stream, all these trees, a simulated cave (hence the name), and even a pond with cute turtles. I ordered an iced americano (naturally) and chilaquiles, a dish I had heard lots about (also on Orange is the New Black) and which was recommended on the “female foodie” blog I read. It’s like nachos, but instead of being covered in cheese, it’s smothered in sauce. So, tortilla chips, the salsa you choose, pickled onion, avocado, chicken or beef or egg, and sour cream. Friggen amazing, YUM. I enjoyed that to the fullest, wrote in my ournal, and soaked up the amazing weather.

Then I wandered around the town, primarily on “La Quinta,” or 5^th Avenue, the main tourist area of Playa. It’s a pedestrian street with the nicer (and pricier) restaurants, bars, shops, etc. Lots of people trying to sell you things, like always, but still great to walk down, people-watch, and feel some of the AC drafting out of the stores. I ended up down at the beach, of course, and sought out the gay area. When I saw numerous tan and shockingly fit old dudes in Speedos, I knew I had found it. I sat down in the sand, in the shade of somebody else’s (rented) umbrella, gazed around, watched the waves, listened to the house beats coming from Mamitas Beach Club, and read more of Mindy Kaling’s book – eventually finishing it. It was another triumph for her, and I recommend it. I especially loved the chapter in which she has that party out in Astoria and all the drama with her nemesis co-teacher. Amazing humour.

Returned to the hostel, showered off all the sand, and made my way up to the roof to witness the sunset and try to blog. Some randoms up there engaged me in conversation, though – which I (almost) always welcome – but in this case, they seemed like scammers and I didn’t enjoy their company. Luckily, eight o’clock came, I excused myself from the chat, and began my new habit: getting as many tequila cocktails as I could within the hour. I asked somebody if I could sit near her, and as it turns out – she was the friend of somebody I had talked to earlier, down in the lobby! Serina was her name, and we ended up hanging out the rest of our time there – and even in my next stop, Tulum. She and her travel bud were from Saskatchewan – I met a weird amount of Canadians during my trip. Birds of a feather, maybe?

So she and I gab, get to know each other, rub aloe on ourselves, and capitalize upon the happy hour. When I go to get a refill, I ask somebody who is sitting there alone what he is drinking, since it looked pretty fancy. Turns out it was a paloma (grapefruit + tequila), which seemed like a wise enough choice – so I invited him over to sit with us. I also made that offer to somebody else, an adorable Argentine, but he was just waiting for his friends to come up. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I might as well do a good deed. So Serina, bar-guy, and I are all sitting around and enjoying each other’s company, and then this other girl comes over and asks if she can join us. Hmm, another bold one, huh? OF COURSE YOU CAN! And I’m SO happy she did, because she was phenomenal. Her name is Meg, and she is from Australia, and she and I still talk. We hit it off right away and ended up having so much damn fun together. I miss those wild carefree nights in a big way, since I don’t really have them here in Ottawa. Alas.

The first night, we all just chit chat, drank some dranks, and have a good time. I make a point to get to know the bartenders and tip them for each cocktail, to facilitate the rest of the happy hour and the proceeding nights as well. My buddies didn’t do that and were still served – but whatever. 20 pesos for a strong tequila-orange is still quit the bargain, and the two barmen were fun, interesting guys regardless. So that’s me, always being friendly and giving good gratuity. What goes around comes around, right?

Meg ends up chatting with someone else, and our English friend goes to bed early, so Serina and I head to El Fogon (an authentic, well-reviewed, affordable hole-in-the-wall taqueria) for some drunchies. It was all so cheap and so good that I ate at the place four times during my three days in Playa. Completely worth it. And then it’s back to Lobo del Mar to crash.

 

Day 4: Playa

I wake up, hit up the free breakfast on the rooftop, and fortunately run into my new favourite person, Meg! She gives me some advice on cenotes, which are certainly one of the best things about the Yucatan Peninsula. They are sinkholes in the limestone filled with rainwater (or groundwater, or both). So they become natural swimming holes, completely mystical places that look like something out of a Tomb Raider movie, and many of them feature caves and stalactites and other things you can marvel at, through Scuba diving or just splashing around. I adored them, and ended up visiting three throughout my stay.

She recommended Cenote Jardin/Garden del Eden, so I get a collectivo and head right there. I also grab an iced coffee on the way, because the hot, instant stuff at the free breakfasts wasn’t cutting it. And en route, I strike up a conversation with my seatmate, who was an American who had recently relocated to Tulum. I pick his brain about what to do around those parts, but am cautious to annoy him. You know, second-guessing myself like usual. But it was an enjoyable and educational talk, for sure.

I get to Eden, walk down the dirt path… And find out it is closed. On a Saturday, of all times! If you’re going to pick a day to close each week, and you’re a tourist destination, then why on earth would you pick Saturday? Makes no sense to me.

So that’s a let-down. Fortunately, Garden of Eden is situated super close to other cenotes – Crystal and Blue – so I choose the latter, Cenote Azul. Pay my 80 pesos and was immediately transported into a magical natural wonder. Words won’t really do it justice, but it was phenomenal and so picturesque. Crowded too, admittedly, but there was still room to breathe.

So I spend the afternoon there, and it was marvelous. I eat my picnic lunch, start a new book (The You I’ve Never Known by my favourite author, Ellen Hopkins), swim around, take lots of photos, don’t give a rip that I’m in a Speedo when nobody else is, see a certified Olympian, people-watch, and also do two things that scare but also thrill me. I jump off a cliff, maybe 15 or 20 feet above the surface, and I free-dive through an underwater tunnel with various air pockets. And once wasn’t enough, so I repeat the experiences numerous times, even if I the rocks in the tunnel scratched me and smacking the water from that height stung a bit. But I loved it.

I also get a “fish manicure” for the first time, which is where these lil guppies come and eat the dead skin off your feet. It tickles, sure, but it’s adorable. These “fish spas” were also set up in booths along La Quinta for $20 US, which is ridiculous, since I got that stuff for free.

And one more story, so you can laugh at me. As I’m setting up my phone on self-timer, trying to capture a good photo for my daily gratuitous Instagram post, traipsing through the shallows to simultaneously get a nice pose and ideal lighting with only ten minutes to get in position… I misstep, my leg goes into this unseen hole between these rocks, all the way up to my knee, which scrapes my shin up good and gives me quite the bruise. It hurt, certainly – and I felt nauseated on account of the pain – but it was pretty funny. I wish it happened to somebody else, so I could witness such a hilarious accident from an external perspective. But it’s cool, ‘cause I can laugh at myself too. And I am fully aware it could’ve been much worse. My leg could’ve broken, or there might’ve been some scary monster with huge jaws at the bottom of this hole, or I could’ve dropped my phone in the water in the process, so…. I’ll take what I can get. It’s all healed up now, of course, and what’s life without a little misadventure?

I head back around 3pm when I’m getting hungry, flag down a collectivo on the side of the highway, and ride on back to Playa. Stroll around more, check out a thrift shop, spy a Quebecois bar (with poutine, Canadiens gear, and “tabarnak,” so comical), and look at menus to decide where to eat dinner. I end up at this place on the corner by my hostel, recommended by the desk workers and with a discount – but I have my doubts. Skeptical as ever. I double-check with TripAdvisor, though, and that convinces me enough to give it a try. Glad I did, too. Iced coffee again (since I knew I’d be having mucha tequila a bit later anyway), freshly-made guacamole, and fish ceviche. Which I had never really tried before, even if I did spend a summer in Peru. And let me tell you, it was all delicious. The restaurant had a great vibe, too. I wrote in my journal and watched the people around me and had a constant grin on my face. Also, incongruously, the place had this pool in the centre of the eating area, and there was some random boy swimming during my entire meal. Lolwut? Why? Whose kid is this? Hilarious.

Then back to the hostel, shower off, put on clean / non-sweaty clothes, rub aloe lotion on myself (as I am still peeling), and get ready for *~happy hour~*. I head up early to get a good seat, use the WiFi to catch up on Scrabble, respond to the folks back home, and upload that douchey IG photo while awaiting the 8 o’clock witching hour and for my friends to arrive.

Veronique, another Canadian I met while abroad, shows up, and we sit with another guy in our room, from Russia. Eventually Meg, Serina, and her pal Chelsea show up (no English guy though, and Argentine guy was with his friends and thus unavailable – but still looking so comely), and it becomes another great night. It’s much more crowded because it is apparently “Ladies’ Night,” but that doesn’t stop me from getting my fill. I even have Meg time me while I down it as fast as possible, reppin’ McGill’s Carnival with a six-second chug. I sing Scottish drinking songs for Meg and Serina, and we are all fabulous bad influences on each other.

This night is more successful than last, in that we actually have a contingent that goes out and hits the town. We seek out a nearby karaoke bar only to find out it is closed, and then wander down La Quinta, seeing what catches our fancy. And let me tell you, there are some LOOOLLLLs throughout the evening, that still make me smile when I remember them.

• V and her hilariously unflattering romper, dancing in this random rock bar.
• Chelsea giving the waiter her number, and having me teach her how to say “Eres guapo” to facilitate this.
• Meg borrowing V’s bike, pedaling away, and shouting, “Adios!”
• Meg & I going into a tequila tasting shop, and when the guy asks us which we want to try, she says “todo,” trying to get like five free shots.
• The random convenience store that had the same prices for drinks as the bars did.
• Us sitting in a Mexican karaoke bar, so annoyed with all the sad Spanish ballads they’re singing (but impressed with some of the voices, including an apparent YouTube star), until Meg & I go up on stage and absolutely slay “Pretty Fly for a White Guy.” Actually. We had the other patrons singing along with us, clapping, and even recording our amazing, upbeat, laughable performance.
• Me leaving the group to check out the local gay bar (Club 69, because of course, what else would it be called?) for a second, convincing the guy to let me in just to look around – he says “Tienes cinco minutos” – being massively underwhelmed with it, so hurrying back out to link back up with the girls.

And let me tell you, I am hustling back up Fifth Ave to find them, worried that they got lost and were in some random unsafe alley or dangerous situation, and I never do catch up. And in my rush to get back to the hostel to averiguar their safety, I unfortunately do not buy any street food to end out my night. Sad! But the important thing is that they managed to get back all in one piece. I honestly don’t know how I didn’t pass them, but maybe they ran back in order to evade me? Who knows? (But I doubt that).

—

Well, this entry is already over 4200 words. And it is definitely no longer the day after I filed my taxes at all – but all the same, I am still at Starbucks, just had a grande iced coffee, and am at a lil sidewalk table. There is no way I can write about everything I experienced in Mexico in one entry. And I just realized that I’ve never done that – when I was in Italy, I was always writing shorter updates on my adventures while riding on buses from city to city. So it’s cool! No sweat!

So we’ll wrap it up here, for now, and pretty soon I’ll upload some photos to my Facebook. To give you that true, multi-media experience.

One final point – this week / this life has continued to be hard, and yesterday was a difficult day. I found myself legitimately tearing up at yoga, out of frustration or pessimism or sadness. I’m not sure. But! All’s well that ends well, because I successfully managed to apply to not one but two jobs last night. One at Carleton and one at Algonquin College. So maybe there is a future for me here in Ottawa yet! I didn’t get the Camp fYrefly gig, but I am still hopeful about the reality TV show and the government job. So keep your fingers crossed for me, if you will. Because these empty days, spent in my room all alone, are getting real tiresome.

And don’t worry, I am making a change as well. I can’t expect things to improve if I don’t make an effort or change my ways, right? So I am trying to do exactly that. Hence why I’m at Starbucks, enjoying today’s beautiful weather, instead of cooped up in my apartment.

 

That’ll do for now, cochinita. Hope all is well with all of y’all!

 

Hasta la próxima,

 

– Jefe

Peaks & Valleys: Returning to Ottawa; Job Interviews; Disappointments; & Exciting Opportunities on the Horizon (Including Potentially Being a Reality TV Star!!)

Jambo!

 

So it looks like I didn’t write up about the rest of my trip while I was in the airport. I only had about thirty minutes to wait until the plane started boarding, so I just read more of Liane Moriarty’s “Truly Madly Guilty.” And then when I had my layover in Philly, I took my time walking through all the terminals, looking for the best place to spend my US dollars on some food. Geno’s Steaks was too overpriced, I didn’t feel like supporting the homophobic practices of Chic-Fil-A, and so I just got an iced coffee and everything bagel with cream cheese from Au Bon Pain. You know, my go-to cheap snack since I’ve returned from living in Europe. And when I was in Montreal for a day and a half, I didn’t really prioritize updating my blog, since there were so many people to see… But since I’ve gotten back to Ottawa, there’s no excuse whatsoever.

It’s been a tough time, coming back to boring ol’ O-Town after the absolutely magical twelve days I had in Mexico. Not only is Ottawa a bit dreary and dull (and cold and grey), but it seems even more so in comparison to the sun-soaked, simultaneously exciting and relaxing trip I had in Yucatán. Meeting people, seeing beautiful places, trying new things, thrill-seeking, eating delicious and cheap food, hanging out on white-sand beaches and swimming in primordial cenotes… And then I return to my ostensible “home” and have essentially nothing. to. do. here.

And to make it even worse – it was Easter Weekend, so many/most of the people I wanted to see were out of town. AND establishments were closed, making Centretown even less happening than normal. Even yoga was cancelled, despite the fact it starts at 5:15 on Thursdays, and there is no such thing as Good/Easter/etc Thursday! So frustrating! Thank deity that my weekly Pandemic Legacy night came together last-minute and I was able to see the wonderful Colum, Luke, & Dean (even if we didn’t manage to win a fifth game in a row), so rushing back to Ottawa / leaving Montreal prematurely was not a completely unnecessary decision.

So I had a couple of hard days, struggling to find things to look forward to.

—

Whoops, didn’t finish or make much headway in this entry the day I started it. Now it’s past 4pm on a Saturday, I have zero plans this weekend, I’ve likely had too much caffeine, and I just disconnected my WiFi – so let’s get this thing banged out!

As aforementioned, Mexico was completely fenomenal, and I’ll write all about it soon. I want to record all the memories here so I don’t forget ‘em. I did manage to journal a lot down there – and read as well, 2.75 books – since I was spending less time on the computer, enjoying the weather, dining at restaurants solo, etc. It provided for that productivity.

But for now, I want to get life updates out of the way. Since I’ve been back, I haven’t really done much of import, and it sucks. That is not to say I haven’t seen some friends and had some great times, don’t get me wrong. Things are not totally dreadful and I am not completely down in the dumps. Part of my mood these days is post-vacation blues, of course. Going from living life to the fullest and seizing the day, back to the minutiae and monotony of my normal life. And without a job or any true involvements to mark the passing days, they’ve mostly run together. Essentially all I do anymore is sleep too much, (binge) watch (trash) TV, read up on things/waste time online, do my ten-minute fitness circuit, and… Dream about the future, I suppose.

So I have no plans this weekend, but that is alright, because I have the palliative of RuPaul’s Drag Race (both seasons 2 & 9) and Big Brother Canada 5 to mollify me (and after . And I can squeeze out some sense of accomplishment from the daily mini workout; reading a bit of my new book (Drinking: A Love Story); eating healthy (spicy Thai stir-fry); doing the Metro crossword; (finally) getting an OHIP card – and calling the hospital to (finally) set up that MRI, to confirm everything in my brain is truly fine, post-encephalitis – and, inchallah, updating this blawg & filing my taxes. And who knows? Maybe some spontaneous plans with friends will come thru, though of course, I’m not holding my breath.

Since I’ve been back, I guess I’ve been a little pessimistic – but to be honest, it feels more like realism, since life can truly suck sometimes. I’ve just been anticipating being disappointed, since the opposite of that is my kryptonite. That is, I often get my hopes up about something, think it’s going to be amazing, and when things don’t reach my (often unrealistic) expectations – I get down, disappointed, crushed. And I know I do that, so I have been trying to manage / lower my expectations. As they say, “hope for the best, but expect the worst.” And, wouldn’t you know it – I’ve been gratified in so doing. Not that it’s particularly satisfying.

In that vein, FIVE times this past week, I had plans with people that were cancelled / postponed the morning of. It happened on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, AND Friday. Don’t get me wrong – these rainchecks were not without their good reasons (exams, essays, exhaustion, etc) – but it is still frustrating and disappointing, since I was looking forward to them. Maybe I should look on the bright side: they were not called off outright, but rather just pushed back to another day. But it’s often meant that the only thing I had planned for a certain day fell through, leaving me with nothing. So, what have I filled it with? The aforementioned pastimes.

And please indulge me one more line of complaint before I move on. In addition to weekly yoga at GayZone, another reason I hurried back to Ottawa last Wednesday night was because I had an interview on Thursday morning, the thirteenth. Which kind of just landed in my lap, the night before my flight back to Canada. I was on my email to check in online and realized I had missed a message from a couple days prior – and it turned out to be a very important one!

Dr. Spencer J Harrison, the Ontario Director for Camp fYrefly, wanted to interview me to be the Coordinator for two arts-based resiliency camps – one for LGBTQ+ youth and another for First Nations adolescents – which are occurring for the first time in Ontario this summer. He is already impressed with my experience and credentials, and thanked me for my contributions to the (queer) community heretofore. I had sent the organization an email back in early February, inquiring if they had any paid positions (since many camps for queer young people only operate with volunteers). And that evidently qualified as me proactively expressing my interest in the initiative – which makes total sense, of course, since what else would my email be considered? – but that wasn’t my actual intention. It was around the time things at the CCGSD started truly affecting me, so I was putting out feelers and seeing what else was around that could potentially be a future avenue for my career.

Regardless. The upshot is that I reached out to them directly, and not simply in response to a job posting or ad they had on their site. Two others did the same, and in lieu of going through the application process, Dr. Harrison decided to simply interview the three of us for the Coordinator position. So that Thursday morning, my first day back, I spoke with him for an hour and forty-five minutes on the phone. Told him about myself, discussed my experience and ambition, walked him through how I would handle certain scenarios, learned more about the camp and the job, and really believe I impressed – or at the very least, performed satisfactorily. I mean, why else would he take nearly two hours out of his day to talk to me otherwise? I was apparently saying something he liked – so, naturally, I have a good feeling about it.

I asked him about the timeline for the hiring process (because of course), and he told me, as I was the last person he had to speak with, he would decide by Monday. However, I haven’t heard anything since that initial interview. I sent a follow-up email on Thursday night, hoping I might get a response on Friday sometime, but nope, nada. So I guess I’ll (have to) be patient until this coming Monday. Normally, I wouldn’t be as pressed about it – since it does seem like an amazing opportunity and two weeks is standard operating procedure – but he told me on the phone that, if I am offered the gig, I would be expected to start the job in the beginning to middle of May… Which is only 1-3 weeks away at this point!

Oh, and did I forget to say? The job is in Peterborough. Meaning I would be relocating for work once again, to a place I’ve never been and where I don’t know a single person. (And everything I’ve heard about Peterborough isn’t marvelous – that it’s even smaller and duller than Ottawa, and undoubtedly more conservative too)

Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW I could do it, and manage to make yet another home for myself, and it would (in all likelihood) be completely worth it for the work I’d be doing. I would have much more responsibility than I’ve ever had for a job, and I am sure I would rise to the occasion, kick butt, and make myself and Spencer proud. The problem is… I just got settled here in Ottawa, and I don’t want to throw away everything I’ve built just yet. While I am not totally over the moon with O-Town, it’s the best I got for now, and I do have people I care about and weekly routines I enjoy (trivia, Pandemic, yoga, etc). I’m not psyched to give that all up so soon.

And this job with Camp fYrefly is only a four-month commitment. So I would be moving for a relatively short-term opportunity. And while it is absolutely true that it could very possibly be a springboard to my career and lead to future involvement, fulfillment, and success in coming years – since Dr. Harrison aims to establish eight camps in the next five years and I would be “getting in on the ground floor” – is such a deracination worth it for me, at this juncture in my life? I am honestly not sure. It doesn’t help that I don’t have all the details about the position, since there never was a job posting and I didn’t actually apply. So, again, all I can do is wait to hear back from him. And I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Furthermore – it’s not like I’m completely bereft of other opportunities, either. I still have a positive sense / good ~vibe~ about something coming through with Louise M, and maybe (fingers crossed) a governmental gig involved with Diversity & Inclusion or employment equity will materialize. I also emailed her this past week, to follow up on the wondrous tete-a-tete we had about five weeks ago. Also no reply yet from her, but my pal Michael G tells me it’s a very busy time for the Treasury Board, and so I’m not fussed about that. (Because she never promised me anything or gave me a specific day or deadline where she would get back to me, so I’m not really expecting anything, you know?)

And finally, this past Tuesday, I HAD A PHONE INTERVIEW WITH SOMEBODY INVOLVED WITH CASTING FOR A NEW REALITY TV SHOW. I saw a tweet from Mark Long – Road Rules OG, Challenge Champion, and smokin’ hot 45-year-old – about casting for a new show on MTV, about twentysomethings living in Austin, Texas. Like a mixture between The Real World and The Hills. And I figured, why the hell not? I don’t have much going on here in Ottawa, I’ve heard only great things about Austin, and I will definitely make for some compelling TV. An LGBTQ+ professional, outgoing, extroverted, unique upbringing, silly, sassy, friendly, funny, honest to a fault, intellectual, maybe a touch elitist, strong opinions and a loud mouth, pretty-masc-but-still-wears-nail-polish, with some emergent interests that might be taboo (leather, drag, burlesque)… So ABSOLUTELY I should be on national television. Queer visibility, amirite?

And also, I truly believe I have good, important things to say, teach, discuss, and call attention to, via mass media. I mean, on the phone call with the casting director, I taught her what “pansexual” means – and we only chatted for about twenty minutes. SO, please keep your fingers crossed for me, about that (and also fYrefly and something with Louise, of course). Because it would be amazing, hands down. A new adventure, living in an exciting city (rent-free, to boot!), cohabitating with other outgoing and interesting and exuberant/slightly ridiculous people, and maybe even potentially having a platform to promote LGBTQ+ identities and human rights. Seems like a dream, no? So I’m extremely jubilant, buoyant, amped up about that. And remembering all of this – recalling the email response I got from them and when my phone rang with a California number – has really perked me up. That, and the sun streaming through my window, new music I just downloaded (a group called Crywolf), and chatting with some loved ones – and now I’m feeling pretty great. Yay! Catharsis and introspection and re-evaluating my priorities and realizing that I am, in fact, a very blessed person with a thoroughly fortunate life (even if it is a tad unexciting in its current state).

Alright, quickly before I close: I went with my pal Michael to the National Arts Centre last weekend, and we saw Vigilante together. It was a rock opera about family, loyalty, old country customs, and cold vengeance, all within an Irish clan. And let me tell you: it was fantastic. Truly riveting, great music, amazing voices, cute accents and dialects (“ma” and “da” and “aye” and “bloody”), hot steampunk/S&M outfits, attractive actors, entertaining choreography. There was nothing not to like! I wholeheartedly recommend it! Go see it!

So that was definitely a bright point in the past two weeks, since returning from Mexico. And, if you’re reading this: thank you, Michael, for making my Saturday noteworthy. I appreciate it!

And to the rest of you – thanks for reading/wading through my low points, my white whining, glimpses of hope for the future, self-assured rambling, work woes, etc. Your support means the world.

Life isn’t all bad. Watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with Colum etc last night, re-meeting & befriending Tony, winning Pandemic Legacy on Tuesday, getting drinks with Nick W, the ACO Clothing Swap, returning to yoga, some warm weather… Things could be a lot worse.

And on that note – I’m going to go enjoy the sun! Have a great one y’all.

Love always,

– Jefe ❤

Work Woes, Career Hope(s), & A Spontaneous Trip to Mexico

Hola hola hola!

 

So as most of you probably know, due to my gratuitous and douchey and wonderful Instagram posts, I am currently in Mexico! Traveling around for twelve days. Olé! (And if you don’t follow me on IG, then you’re missing some fire. It’s instagram.com/tommytopaz if you’re curious)

And right now, I’m on a night bus from Valladolid to Merida, which is my penultimate town. After two nights in the “American Capital of Culture,” I’m taking yet another long bus ride back to Cancun, sleeping two nights (and doing several amazing things – more on that later), then hopping on my plane back to Canada. And I am not looking forward to it, to tell you the truth. These past couple weeks have been magical, and I’ve enjoyed myself so much. I’ve been wanting to visit Mexico for years now, and I finally made it! It’s so great to get away from icy old Ottawa and the stress it brings me.

Of course, though – as they say – one of the best (or better, I guess) things about traveling is coming home. In that, you can’t miss something if you never leave, and you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone. Meaning the comforts of home, the convenience, the familiarity, the stasis. So there are things I’m excited about returning to – like my own bed and weekly board game nights and… That might be it. I haven’t been gone very long, of course, so I’m not missing things too much. Naturally, it’d be nice to see or hang out with some of my friends from back in O-Town (Colum, Amy, Dean, Elena, Luke, Tim, Kai, Eleanore, Eliot), but to be frank, I’d rather be in some exotic country and gaining new experiences than doing the same-old, same-old. Nothing against those people, but I crave adventure and excitement. And I’ll be back soon enough, so fret not!

I intended to write a blog update while in the airport before flying south, as I was wont to do during my travels in Europe. Because I wanted to write more fully / wax indignant about my experiences at the Canadian Centre for Gender & Sexual Diversity, to get it out of my system and close that chapter, move on to bigger + better + brighter things. However, I don’t want to get in trouble for doing so, or bad-mouth my previous employer, or really go back and worry about all that stuff again… SO, suffice it to say, I am not 100% pleased with how things turned out with the CCGSD.

I moved to Ottawa for that job, when I have no family or network or support structure there, at all – and I saw myself being with the organization for maybe 2-4 years. Which I soon enough revised to a year and a half, to finish out the first grant for the Sports Inclusion Program. I wanted to stick with it, commit, do a great job, educate 7000 people about LGBTQ+ topics, and build an unshakable foundation for the Program and its (hopefully) illustrious future.

Things started a-changin’, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I was wracked with indecision and second-guessing myself, not knowing what to do or what call to make. I spoke lots with my parents and friends (mostly Enbal, love you En-doll) about it, wrote in my journal, and did some deep thinking. And I decided: I am not in a desperate position, not backed into a corner. There are other options for me, and I do not absolutely need this job. I am super fortunate to have two post-secondary degrees from reputable institutions, a good amount and broad variety of work/life experience, youthful vigour, driving passion, and money in the bank. I live fairly simply and am not profligate with my spending, so I have managed to accrue sufficient dinero to pay for rent + food for a while.

And the whole situation was stressing me out and weighing me down, and it was just so unnecessary. So I resigned. However – because I care about the Program (still do) and believe in the positive effect I/we/it has on people, particularly LGBTQ+ youth – I offered to work an extra week or two, to ease the transition to a new Sports inclusion Coordinator. This was still before my three month-iversary with the Centre, mind you, so by the Employment Standards Act, I was not required to give any notice at all to quit. But if I talked the talk, I had to walk the walk – be a man of my word. I wanted to be a decent person, end on a positive note, and take the moral high road. So that is what I was willing to give them.

Then they asked if I could work four weeks instead, because the transition would take longer that I offered, so I (tentatively) said yes. And then the next day, it became five weeks (two weeks for the job posting to be live and to collect/review applications, one for first interviews, one for second interviews and hiring, and the final one where I would be training my successor). And still I agreed, and signed a new contract holding myself to that. And that is what it was gonna be.

But you know what they say about the best-laid plans of mice and (wo)men. I ended up having my last day on Tuesday the 21^st – so I didn’t actually train my replacement, after all was said and done. I was finished, dunzo, without further obligations… But still I wanted to do more, because I do want what’s best for the Program. So in lieu of educating my successor tête-à-tête, I volunteered to write up a transition document, to (try to) impart all I’ve learned about the position and all I believe they should know when they start as the new Sports Inclusion Coordinator. I didn’t have to do this, and maybe I shouldn’t’ve bothered after all – but I considered it valuable to do (since I didn’t have any real guidance when I began as the SIC), and I wanted the new me to start off on the best foot possible. So I don’t regret it, and I do hope they benefit from it. Absolutely they’ll learn something, so I’m glad I took the time to create that document. It would’ve been better to train them in person, since I am an educator, after all – but something’s better than nothing.

—

And now I’m done with the CCGSD! A free agent! Untethered & unfettered!

Also, on my last official day with the organization, I just happened to have an amazing meeting with a VIP in government scheduled for the afternoon. So I went home, dropped my stuff off, brushed up on the notes I had taken during my research for this meeting/potential job interview, mouthwashed, and got myself in the mindset to charm, sparkle, effervesce, impress. Then I strolled in the beautiful spring weather to a towering office building, was signed in by one of my contact’s employees, slapped on a visitor’s pass, and sat down with the Senior Director of Diversity & Inclusion and Employment Equity for one of the governmental branches. And let me tell you, it went phenomenally.

She was also bubbly and happy and excited. I fed off her positive energy (and maybe vice-versa), and we had a great time together. I couldn’t stop smiling. Her upbeat, sunny mood was infectious, and she was saying the nicest things about me, my experience, and my résumé. The field of Diversity & Inclusion in government is going to blow up / massively increase in effect and importance in the new future, she believes, and this is especially the case for the LGBTQ+ angle. She (and indeed, the government) needs passionate and knowledgeable people to come in, educate others about the importance of D&I, help guide the development of the policies, and assist in the creation of a better, more representative, and more supportive future for government and the nation. She was impressed with my CV and expertise and wants me to be involved – and I want the same, definitely. She was so sweet, of course – but she was also determined and dedicated and really believes in this cause. I respect that, completely.

The issue is… There is no current position opening for this. Or funding, either. And creating such a job will take time, and filling it presents its own obstacles. In order to hire somebody external (i.e. me), she’ll need to demonstrate how she went through the entire public service and didn’t find anybody suitable for the role. Which, to me, seems like an arduous task. How big is the public service, right? In Ottawa, certainly – but also nationwide.

I wholeheartedly believe I am a qualified individual and strong candidate and great person for many positions in various fields, don’t get me wrong. I know that – but the difficulty is helping others see that, to take a chance on / put their trust in me, to allow me to rise to the occasion and impress them, do them proud. I know I can do it, and that when you give me responsibility, I will teach myself and work hard and strive to do the best job possible. I have a strong work ethic, and I want to do well. That drives me.

So we’ll see what happens. From what I understand, she is trying to see if she can create a position for me in her department, and to figure out how she can fast-track the application and external hiring process so it won’t take months. (Because of that governmental bureaucracy, natch.) And I believe she is also circulating my CV around to her contacts, such as those in the Canadian Human Rights Commission. And I have my two friends Michael and Denis pulling for me in their respective areas, too, of which I am hugely appreciative. I have a coffee klatch set up for three weeks from now thanks to this, so I’m looking forward to that. I have other feelers out as well, and several applications I have submitted or will complete in the near future. Essentially, I’m on the job hunt again – but not super intensely (just yet). Instead, I’m enjoying Mexico to the fullest.

And on that note, I should get going. We’re almost to el centro de Merida, and I gotta pack my computer away. Also, remember that time I said I wouldn’t write about what happened with the CCGSD? El oh el, me too. But it feels good, it feels right. So I’m pleased about that.

Ciao for now – and I’ll try and write all about this fabulous trip when I’m at the airport on Monday morning. Hopefully the Cancun departure area will have a legit café, because Ottawa’s certainly didn’t.

 

Hasta pronto,

– Jefecito

Fortune Favours the Bold: Life in the Fast Lane

Hey y’all,

Man, has it been forever since I’ve written. Almost two months to the day! [And that is only if I manage to finish this entry the day I started it]

There is so much to say, that I don’t even know where to begin.

The weather here in Ottawa has been wild recently. It was +10° last week and sunny. I went on a long walk to Hintonburg and back on Sunday, to enjoy the warmth and sun. Listened to an episode of the Brain Candy Podcast and actually explored my new city a bit. I have been here three months and I’m not sure if it feels like home yet.

Granted, Ottawa is not as dreadful as many people make it out to be. I am happy here, and there are numerous things I like about it so far. And that’s despite the fact that I arrived at the tail end of November, when everything is grey, dull, and dead. People say Ottawa winters are brutal (and also that this one is remarkably mild/uncharacteristic), and you all know how much I love winter. It was certainly not fun being in temperatures below -20° again – I did not miss winter. Being in Glasgow, even with all the rain, was a pleasant way to spend November-March because it was not frigid.

So I’m glad we are getting back to some reasonable weather now. Various people have told me spring is here for good, but I’m not going to get my hopes up just yet. The forecast for Saturday has a low of -18°, without the wind chill. So I won’t pack my parka away just yet.

—

What do I like about Ottawa? Well, I have made some quality friends here and several enjoyable routines. Mondays I go to trivia with Amy, Erika, Allyson, Thierry, and the rest of “The Mutts” (because they know each other through the dog park) at the Royal Oak on Kent. I love pub quizzes, and it’s nice to hang out with some hetero people sometime. With that being said, though – we never win, and the food and drinks at the Oak are neither that cheap nor that good. So I look forward to seeing all those folks every week and playing along, but I feel like I’m wasting my money at such a subpar institution.

I’ve also had an interest in being a trivia host for a while, so I figured – why not try to become that? Fortune favours the bold, right? So I asked our existing host, who recommended I email this guy Paul, so I did… And badda boom, badda bing, I went to an audition last week, and led my first trivia game last night! Yay!

And similarly, I also picked up another involvement recently. I am now a member of the Board of Directors with the Lambda Scholarship Foundation Canada! Yay!

—

So. Of course I didn’t end up the update when I started writing it. It’s actually been more than a week from when I began. That’s what happens, man!

Having a full-time job is exhausting! I don’t know how people do it! Work all day, do all the stuff after that you need to do to survive (cook, clean, laundry, errands), maintain some semblance of a social life, get some exercise, sleep enough, and still have time / energy to do extra stuff? C’mon! I’m not superhuman!

That’s why it’s taken me so long to update my blog. It’s why I haven’t joined a gym and gotten back to lifting. I haven’t written in my journal since, like, November. My reading-for-pleasure has massively slowed down, from the book a week I was managing from September onwards. I haven’t played more of Twilight Princess since the holidays. My passport expires in May and I haven’t filed to renew it yet. Haven’t researched or applied for a new credit card; still in the process of transferring from ScotiaBank to Tangerine; need to close down my bank accounts in Glasgow and Quakertown; should try to get an OHIP card and book that MRI; would like to move into my own place….

Life is too much sometimes. But I also believe that people just get used to it. That they adapt to working 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week and still having the time/energy/wherewithal/desire to do things besides work. It’s like with working out. It’s super tiring and taxing when you first start, but then you build up strength, resistance, and stamina… And then things aren’t that hard.

So that’s my deep hope, because I don’t want to live the rest of my life being constantly exhausted. It’s true that I could go to bed at an earlier time and get more sleep, but that’s not very fun. I keep my time outside of work pretty damn busy, and that’s how I like it. Gives me stuff to look forward to and a reason to get up in the morning.

Like I said, Monday is trivia. That’s continued to go well. I picked up a second event this week, so that was fun.

As it currently stands, I don’t have anything regular on Tuesdays. Might fill it in with some athletic pursuit: Ottawa has numerous queer recreational sports leagues, and I’m still interested in kickboxing or something of the sort. I sometimes see friends or go on dates, too. Smash Bros with Colum, Julia, Fady, or Tommy; dinner with Elena; meeting people from Tinder/networking/mutual friends for coffee, etc. However… It’s nice having a night off sometimes. I can relax, mindlessly surf the ‘Net (reading about The Challenge or checking out submissions for monthly RCT2 contests), and watch a couple episodes of a TV show. I recently started RuPaul’s Drag Race and absolutely love it. So much of it to catch up on, too! I watched all of Season 4 (Phi Phi, Sharon, Willam, Latrice, Chad) and just began Season 3 last night.

I just finished the Scream series too, which I also highly enjoyed. Will go through the second season of Scream Queens soon enough, and then probably more RPDR after that. I’ve been watching Are You the One? Season 5 and The Challenge: Invasion as well, naturally – and am competing in the fantasy leagues for both of them. As of this past week, I’m in fourth place for the former and first for the latter. Hope I keep on keepin’ on!

For Wednesdays, I play Pandemic: Legacy with three great guys – Colum, Luke, and Dean. Only met L and D in the context of the game, back in mid-January, and had only hung out with C once before… But I like them all a lot, and we get along famously. It’s definitely something for me to look forward to each week. We are coming off three consecutive victories and are now in “June.” So fun! And if we finish soon enough, we often play another game. Like Sushi Go Party, Splendour, Codenames, etc. Col has quite the collection, so there’s lot of choices there.

On Thursdays, I go to yoga at GayZone. It’s a very chummy atmosphere, and I’ve made several friends with other yogis (Denis, Francois, and the instructor Joa). I have also gotten much better at it, which makes me feel great – both the fitness benefits and the realization that I’m improving! My downward dog ain’t half bad, I can actually touch my toes now during the forward fold / sun salutation, and I’ve managed to do tree pose like a pro! I love it.

And then the weekends – and in between all my other commitments – are for whatever I want.

This is often board games, of course. Besides work and reading about The Challenge, that is the majority of what I’ve been doing with my time here in Ottawa. I have fortunately made a good amount of friends who share this passion, and a select few who have amazing collections. Notably Tim Jolly, but also Jayme, Colum, Owen, and Jason. These gaming groups are predominately gayming groups, populated by queer men, and they often overlap. There’s a quartet of me-Owen-Jason-Vanessa, the Pandemic Legacy Lads, Luke’s Werewolves/etc gang, and games at Tim’s fairly regularly. Mostly Arkham Horror, of course, but others too – including Drawful, a goofy one run via smartphones and his TV.

I’m so glad to have found others who are as interested in board games as I am. It’s definitely one of my favourite things to do in life, and I think it’s absolutely time well spent. I’ve got to play a lot of new ones, too, which I’m excited about. There’s so many options, and with the great people I know, I don’t really have to spend any money trying them! Yay.

I’ve also gotten very involved in the queer community here. Of course, my job lends itself to that, but I have also made a concerted effort to get out there and meet people. This was especially the case last week, which had all the “Snowblower” events. It’s a week of programming that occurs every year organized by the AIDS Committee of Ottawa and partner organizations. An important collaborator this time ‘round was MAX, which is the rebranded Ottawa Gay Men’s Wellness Initiative. I actually attended the focus group to help them come up with this new name, as part of my hours for the week. So happy I did too, as I’ve met some great people as a result of that – Derek, Roberto, Francois, Robert, Matthew. Last Thursday was the Launch Party for the rebranding, at City Hall, which was a lot of fun.

Last Wednesday, I attended a full-day workshop about mental health for service providers who work with GBTQ2S+ men, and then went to an educational event that evening about other types of wellbeing for queer men (informed partying, PrEP, safer sex, refugees). On that Friday, I hit up a panel about LGBTQ+ issues in Islam with my amazing coworker Kai, and then went with him (and Riyadh and Colin) to the “Hella Glitter” Magnet Party the following day. Hung out with friends from the Ottawa Wolves (an inclusive rugby team), waw Tricky Ricky perform boylesque, helped raise money for people living with HIV, and got my first-ever glitter beard!

All of those events were with Snowblower, and I enjoyed them all. Got some yummy free food, learned a bunch, and most importantly – networked and met a lot of inspiring people. Zac, David, Adam, Mego, Imad, Francis, Mick.

I went to the annual networking social with Start Proud recently as well, three weeks ago, which used to be called “Out in the Capital” and is the Ottawa branch of Out on Bay Street. Didn’t know anybody there at all (same with the OGMWI focus group too), but thankfully, people were friendly, and I made some new connections that I value. For Start Proud, it was Derrick, Greg, Nick, Tamir, and Esteban specifically.

And now, when I go to community events, I almost always know at least one person. So it seems I have my foot in the door, and that I am definitely making a name for myself here in Ottawa – even if it hasn’t yet been four months since I moved here!

I’ve also taken two weekend trips to Montreal since I last updated. I stayed with the beautiful Brendan Prouse / “G-Frog” and his roomie Babs both times, and enjoyed their company – so many thanks to the two of you! I went to an amazing Purity Ring DJ set, played Smash Melee, saw the usual suspects (Mike Chan, Torch, Julia, Enbal, Ky, Jeff, Melody, Ale), saw Bren playing inner tube water polo, enjoyed brunch with E & V, walked around a lot, had delicious poutine from Dirty Dogs, munched on banh mis, laid on Julia’s floor and gabbed, and even went on a Quidditch apartment crawl. And what a blast from the past that was! I ran into some people I didn’t think I’d ever see again – Nathan, Corey, Laurent, Grace, Renzetti, Julien, Gel – played some great drinking games (SlapCup, Flong), and proved that I am still a competitor! Despite all the years removed.

It’s so convenient that Montreal is just a two hours’ drive away. And also that I still have phenomenal friends there, who are generous and understanding and oh-so-sweet. And it’s wild how much more it feels like home than Ottawa. At least, for the time being. With impending spring, I plan to do a lot more exploring the city. Walking around, listening to podcasts, and seeing all Ottawa has to offer. I’m sure it’s a great town and that I will love it – but the fact that I arrived in the dead of winter has not helped it feel like home, because it’s been too damn cold to truly wander around the streets. Oh, and I was right, when I began this entry. Both last and this weekend have been brutal. It felt like -26 today, even though we are “springing forward” the clocks for DST, and the season officially starts in a week. I am sick to death with the frigidity and icy wind and snow. So ready for the warmth to come, finally. So I can’t wait for that, and I do believe I’m start liking Ottawa even more when that (eventually) happens. Something to look forward to.

I also hang out with Sasha, Elena, and Eleanore, let me know forget them! Three lovely ladies who I am lucky to know and am very happy that they live in the same city as me! Yay!

And have been spending time with / getting to know / growing really close with my coworkers. Kai, of course, and Eliot, and Katie, and Sarah, and Mylene! Such fab people that enrich my life in so many ways.

—

Alright, this entry is getting a little long – and I haven’t even touched upon the job yet. I suppose I’ll do that in my next entry, in two-ish weeks.

Suffice it to say, just as I expected, I enjoy the work so much more when I’m actually leading workshops in the community, spreading awareness and education, and interacting with people face-to-face. It’s true that I am changing lives, and maybe (likely) even saving some. Since my first week back in January, I have trained more than 500 people about LGBTQ+ issues and identities, and queer experiences and inclusion in sports. This has been in Chatham, Ontario (my coworker and I drove down there in a rental car through a blizzard on January 10^th) and around Ottawa – with  middle, high, and alternative schools, community adults and coaches, and future teachers in the Faculty of Education at uOttawa. I have received absolutely phenomenal feedback from students, teachers, and other participants in my trainings, and I’ve loved it. I have also met many great people in the field of sports inclusion through my position with the Canadian Centre for Gender & Sexual Diversity, such as Matt Allen, Spider Jones, William Bridel, and Kate Moorhouse (of the Canadian Olympic Committee). It’s been a great experience, and if I could go back and change it, I would still take the job.

However, with that being said – I have resigned from my post as the Sports Inclusion Coordinator with the CCGSD. And I am currently working my final five weeks, until March 31^st, to finish up my involvement there. I volunteered to do this, to aid with the transition to a new coordinator of the program – to help interview, hire, and train my successor so that the program doesn’t suffer and that it’s a smooth segue for the future of Sports Inclusion.

I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty details of why I decided to do this, but I am comfortable and confident with my vacating the position. I have various applications pending, meetings organized for the future with potential supervisors, lots of networking contacts, and a positive feeling about everything.

Actually, I recently had the brainwave that I should develop “my brand,” create a website, and become a motivational speaker / educator consultant as my next career move. For people to reach out to and hire themselves, for public speaking engagements and other initiatives. I saw Peter Joynt speak and perform (he’s an Ottawa-based rapper with a stutter) on Thursday, at a Wellness Day for Frederick Banting Alternative School, and he really inspired me. I have a lot (of good) to say, so why not broadcast that and get paid for it? It’s definitely a possibility for the future.

For now, though – I’m going to go bake some zucchini and eggplant with tomato sauce and cheese, then watch more of RPDR Season 3. Glad I finally got this done!

Hope all of you are well, and that you didn’t miss me too much.

Until next time! [Which will probably be in early April, unless I take a spontaneous trip down to Central America, as I’ve been considering recently]

Love + light,

– Jefe