My Bi(rthday) Bash, Halloweekend, Amazing Work Accomplishments, & a SPONTANEOUS TRIP TO GUATEMALA NEXT WEEK

Hey y’all,

 

2pm on a sunny Saturday. Low(ish)-key Halloween Party chez Tim tonight. I was gonna be a sexy cop (like those two in the windows during the Montreal Pride Parade, right, Sarah and Mikey?), so I went thriftin’ last week for a police hat. No luck, but I did find a Batman mask for only $1, so I snatched that up. And I’ll pair it with some leather accoutrements. I mean, it’s Halloween, like the Mean Girls quote describes, so…

I’ve been getting in the mood for the holiday, too. It had been MONTHS since I had seen a movie – let alone a great horror flick – so I decided to fix that right up. Watched Lights Out (good, but not as great as the short that inspired it), Split (disappointing, not scary, but great performance by Mr. McAvoy), and The Conjuring 2 (overlong and over-rated) in one week. It was actually my birthday week, and I watched the latter with Elena & Eric, after a pleasant dinner at Ace Mercado with Eric & Tony (thanks for footing the bill, Tone! You the best).

Then last Tuesday, Luke invited me over for Halloween movies and pumpkin carvin’ – so I caught the end of Insidious (the worst part, in my opinion. such a strong start, and then the astral projections and “The Further?” ugh, please no) and then put on Trick ‘r’ Treat, the classic Halloween anthology that I watch every year. That Anna Paquin scene with the Marilyn Manson song playing? Friggen iconic.

And then last night, I had plans to play some games with Eric / Nick / Justin / Hris / Dorey, but they fell through last minute. So I ended up watching Starry Eyes, after years of it being on my list… And MAN, what a f***ed movie that was. There were scenes towards the end that made me feel literally ill. Am I no longer desensitized? How will watching Jigsaw this Tuesday (actual Halloween, like the ol’ routine with Carol & Mike Mszanski) go with Zach etc?

I think it’ll be fine, though – because the Saw traps are, like, mechanized. And it’s do or die, legit. Whereas the scenes from Starry Eyes were so personal, so intimate, and wholly unnecessary. That cruelty is what bothered me.

All in all, it was an alright film. Definitely made me feel something, you know? But be prepared for some nasty ish, some weird visuals, and an overall strange vibe. I prefer more straightforward teen slashers or ghost stories, but to each their own.

Might have some friends ‘round tomorrow for that (mostly) Annual Halloween / Horror Movie Marathon. I’m thinking Annabelle Creation for one of the films, and I’m open to suggestions for others. Something recent, high-budget, scary, and not horrible. Or maybe a horror-comedy. Tyler/Loki suggests Murder Party or The Babysitter, which Tim also recommends. So maybe that.

 

I know I’m super behind on this blog, but do you realize how busy I am? I don’t even know if I realize how busy I am. Full-time job + a side job + a relatively time-consuming volunteer Board member gig. Plus staying active: gym for 1-1.5 hours thrice weekly, competitive volleyball games on Wednesdays (2+ hours), hatha yoga for 1.5 hours on Thursday, and often a long bike ride on Saturdays. Like last weekend, I finally made it to Gatineau Park. Sunday was the last day the Fall Rhapsody free shuttle was running, so I wanted to catch that before I couldn’t anymore. But my birthday party was the night prior, the morning was rough, and by the time I got moving – it was only about two hours until the last shuttle ran back from the Park.

So I decided to cycle it! It was a balmy, sunny day – and what’s better for a resaquita than some fresh air and exercise? I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I figured, I’ll just give it a try, and I can always turn back if it’s too much. But it ended up being totally fantastic. I biked all the way to Pink Lake (~15km from the “Lisgar House,” mostly uphill), hiked around the whole thing, and rode on right back. All told, it was between 4 and 5 hours of being on the go. And I had only had avocado toast and one cup of coffee earlier! I didn’t even have any eggs! Quite the accomplishment, I’d say.

Totally worth it, though. It was a gorgeous trip. I listened to podcasts, marveled at all the colours, sang along to new music, got some sun, and truly enjoyed being in nature once again. The lake is beautiful and the cycle paths well-maintained. Totally phenomenal day, if exhausting. I had intended to gym afterwards too, since that’s what happens on Sundays, but the hangover + lack of food + all the energy expended already means I was totally spent afterward. Plus, I had a conference call for the Lambda Foundation as well, so it’s not like I just crashed on the couch upon my return home and didn’t move at all. And I managed to squeeze in almost a full workout at the gym (minus deadlifts) between working late and going to trivia on Monday night anyway, so it was fine. (Was gonna go Tuesday again, but that was a bit ambitious – as Laganja would say, THIS IS TOO F***ING MUCH, considering work was very busy this past week too)

Wanted to get some fresh air and sun today as well, but with this blog post, chores, Eric coming over for Dominion: Base 1^st Edition/2^nd Edition/Intrigue/Empires now, and how I gotta grocery shop and cook dinner and shave and prepare my costume etc – there won’t be any time. Plus, it’s already 3pm, and the sun is setting earlier and earlier these days… 😦 No biggie.

 

But about how busy I am – I actually like it. Yes, it means I’m often tired, and there’s not much wiggle room if something catastrophic happens. But if I take a step back and look at my life from an external/outsider’s/objective perspective:

this is what I wanted my life as an adult to look like when I was younger

I enjoy my job, believe in the work I’m doing, and am proud (and pleasantly surprised) at how much I’m earning. I like my apartment, have a bunch of people I know, host lots of social events, and am well-integrated in the place I live. I have weekly routines I enjoy, and have plans or something to look forward to most every night. I like how I look – even if the balding and persistent acne are frustrating – and all the effort I put it at the gym etc is paying off. I’m happy with myself, cognizant and accepting of my flaws, and no longer let people push me around or walk all over me. I think I’m funny and clever and smart, and while that sounds cocky – you should know that I often struggle with self-consciousness and second-guessing myself, so this self-assurance is a welcome change, even if it comes across as too much at times. Would rather be content with myself than please everybody. The latter is a fool’s errand. If you have no disagreements with people (or maybe, if you have no enemies), are you really standing up for what you believe in? Especially if you have such progressive and liberal beliefs as I do…

 

Maybe that’s what being 26 is all about. My birthday was a week and a half ago, and no, I don’t feel any different. People don’t change overnight / based on an arbitrary calendar date, but rather gradually, over time. So I certainly have changed in the past year – but I can address that at another time. In lieu of a meandering stream-of-consciousness review of the past year, here’s what I captioned my new profile picture (uploaded late on October 18th):

“in the past year:

– moved 3 times, including to a new province

– got 1, very visible tattoo

– visited 3 countries, 3 provinces, & 1 state

– went MF *bungee-jumping*

– applied to 50+ jobs

– held 4 positions (3 currently, 1 more forthcoming)

– commenced my professional career (& doubled my wage in so doing)

– started cutting my hair REAL short

– got back into weightlifting

– learned how to use liquid eyeliner / do a killer wing tip

– began doing yoga weekly

– joined a queer volleyball team (pictured)

– became a sassy & charismatic trivia host

– tried & loved a tonne of new board games

 

– met COUNTLESS, AMAZING PEOPLE THAT ENRICH MY LIFE & MAKE IT EXCITING, INTERESTING, & WORTH LIVING ❤

here’s to the next adventurous, fulfilling, challenging, & roller coaster of a year!”

 

So maudlin, huh? Maybe that’s what dotage brings.

 

Anyhow. Remember back in the day, at McGill, when I would plan a whole week of birthday festivities? Seeing scary movies, going out for cheap fajitas at Tres Amigos, pre-drinks, pub crawls, potlucks, parties, and more? Well, doing all that sounds exhausting – and it’s not like my current social circle has as much flexibility as students do, with their full-time jobs. So instead, I had that intimate dinner with Eric & Tony and focused my attention on my birthday party. The last shindig I had – “Jefe’s House-hotting” – had 100+ people invited, but only about ~20 showed up (two of whom I didn’t even know). It was organized last-minute, and that was more than enough guests anyway, so I’m not salty about it. So I figured it would be the same situation for “Jefe’s Bi(rthday) Bash,” and had no qualms about asking more than 130 people to attend. But as the day approached, I got really nervous. My landlady came up when there was only 20 people here (at the previous event) – so if even half of the invitees came, it might get out of control. Not to mention, I don’t think my apartment can fit 65 people, even if it is on the more spacious side…

But what happens, happens, right? I didn’t want to not invite people and potentially hurt their feelings or cause drama, so if I extended the offer to acquaintances / frenemies, then I did the right thing, and they can decide to attend or not. And if there were that many people, then we could just keep it down and leave before 11 to the club.

But lo and behold, my landlady still came up to quiet us down. But there was no music playing! We were all just talking! And again, it was before 11pm – meaning we could make as much noise as we damn well pleased, the way the law views it.

But I’m not trying to get myself evicted here – or anger my neighbours – so I shut all the windows, told people to shush, and sent out contingencies to Babylon once 11 hit. And it was fine! (Oh, and before you judge me – I had posted a note on my door, explaining that we’ll be gone by the witching hour and to please text me if it got too noisy – and I received no such messages. So I think it was fine. I won’t be throwing 40-people parties every weekend, so no worries.).

The night turned out amazingly, though. A bunch of people came, representing many different social circles (volleyball, board gaymes, my trivia regulars, McGill alumni, MAX volunteers, Halifax friends, coworkers, etc) – so it was a great mixer. People got to meet each other, and everybody told me the next day how much fun they had, and how wonderful all the attendees were. It was really gratifying to hear that, made me supremely proud. I also had a lot of fun, but it was more important that my guests enjoyed themselves – and everybody had only great things to say! Hurray.

As it was my 26^th birthday party, I decided I had to step my hosting game up a bit. Stephane’s 30^th a couple weeks prior inspired me, so at this soiree, I actually provided refreshments. I know, shocker. I made some guacamole (because I don’t even like cake that much, but Mexican is my ish) and more than four liters of sangria. I bought a box of wine – four litres of the stuff – and was surprised by how little it amounted to. I poured it in a large pot and a large bowl, and when it ran out, I was like, “That’s it…?” But then I added a mickey of brandy, a juice of orange juice concentrate, and 2L of ginger ale, and voila! Punch for the party.

I told people that, if they were really keen, then they could bring a bottle of red wine to add to the sangria. Some people did, those were added to the pot after it ran out… But by that time, I had also run out of mixer. So instead of a nice summery drink, we were downing fortified wine. No wonder things got wild.

We didn’t end up playing any Werewolves either, even though I legit crafted my own set earlier that day. Shame, but no biggie – because conversations were flowing and friendships were forming and it was a gay ol’ time.

We went out to Babylon after, for #OHMYJAM or whatever it was. $10 entry for some wonky-ass music (they legit played The Little Mermaid) at a dive bar, but whatever, where else could we go? And it turned out to be a lot of fun too. Ran into Garreth, Ryan, & their Toronto friends there – so I included them as my guests, when I was counting up how many people came. Lol.

I had hiccups really bad (Vanessa thought they were adorable), was all over the dance floor, and made friends with the bouncer, Omar – who said I’m there every week? What? That’s a lie. But funny nonetheless. I was even helping him “check IDs,” but I don’t think anyone took it seriously. I was just being goofy, helpful, friendly me. It was a GREAT night, although the next morning was pretty rough – as mentioned above.

But yeah! Thank you so much to everyone who came. Glad you all enjoyed yourself, and I was so pleased to have you all at my bacchanalia 🙂 Can’t wait for the next one! Maybe with Werewolves and without quite so much noise or spiked wine this time…

 

K it’s 11:30 on Sunday night and I’m tired. I’ll hopefully finish this between leaving work and hosting trivia tomorrow night! Because I have A LOT to say about last night, Halloween Saturday! It was absolutely phenomenal! Yay! But it’ll wait for tomorrow ~~

 

Hey! I’m back! Only about an hour before I have to bike down to the Glebe – thank goodness it’s stopped raining – so let me bang this out.

I had a great day at work. It was the last meeting of the Joint Union/Management Task Force on Diversity and Inclusion in the Public Service, so I was in the boardroom all day, taking notes. Got to chat with some of the members who I hadn’t seen in a while, enjoyed a free lunch, and loved how the day just seemed to fly. Our Final Report is something like 95% of the way done. The changes they agreed to change today are minor, and the suggestions from the editor also aren’t that significant. I think I’ve tied up the loose ends, actually, in terms of the Report proper. The speaking notes / key messages / accompanying deck (government-speak for a PowerPoint) / D+I Lens graphic / D+I Lens video, however, will require some more attention. Especially the French versions, which I have no control over.

But it was a fantastic way to spend a rainy, dreary Monday! Started the week off on a great note, and I know tomorrow and Wednesday will be busy – but we are so close to the finish line! Of our final deliverable. The implementation / action plan / employer response / integrated framework / launch event will take more time, but what I’ve been most involved with – actually writing and editing and finessing the Final Report – will be done by this Wednesday.

And it’s the perfect send-off for me! Because November 1^st is the last day of my casual contract. I have worked 90 days with TBS, nose to the grindstone supporting the Task Force, and I get to end on such a high note. I know that work I’ve done has been well-received, I’m proud of it, and it will be read by literal hundreds (if not thousands) of people – and be in effect for years (decades?) to come.

I’m not exaggerating about that. At the closing of the meeting today, we all went around and gave our thoughts and gratitude to everyone else. And the things people said legitimately made me tear up a bit. Especially Margaret, who is (likely?) retiring early next year. She explained how, in your career, there are moments that stand out – accomplishments that you’re particularly proud of. And looking back, this Final Report, this Task Force, is the one that will stand out the most for her.

Like, wow. For somebody who’s had a career as illustrious as Margaret – that astounded me. I am a damn lucky man, to have been offered this opportunity to do such important, progressive, impactful, and timely work. It really is the perfect constellation of events for me (a syzygy, if you will). Earning my Master’s in what I did, and when I got it. Receiving the full scholarship to attend UGlasgow. Coming to Ottawa for my job at the CCGSD. Meeting Michael through happenstance, who got me a meeting with Louise, and then I met Vinita on the walk out of that first tête-à-tête. Justin Trudeau and his Feminist government, Randy Boissonnault being appointed his Special Advisor on LGBTQ2(+) issues, the rainbow flag flying on Parliament Hill for the first time in herstory, and Scott Brison and his passion for diversity, inclusion, and queer issues. Everything came together for me. And I’m very grateful.

 

I definitely feel like I’m on a swift upward trajectory in the public service, and I couldn’t be happier about it. But that’s also why I’m not thrilled about my casual contract ending this Wednesday… Because my next engagement hasn’t come through yet. Of course, these things take time, and I do believe it will pan out. I have trust in my colleagues and superiors, and I have sufficient confidence in my performance heretofore to know they want to keep me on.

I just have to be patient, I suppose. I checked again with Vinita today, and there has been no update on when my next (Term) contract begins. As of last Friday, it is slated to commence on the 15^th, and it’s not likely to get any earlier. So that gives me two weeks off. It annoyed / disappointed me at first – since I have no control over it, and nothing is promised, so it worries me a bit. But it is yet another opportunity. I have been wanting to go travel somewhere, and some time off will be nice. Why work so hard and earn all this money if you don’t have the chance to use it?

So I was looking at flights today, and found <$500 round-trip from Ottawa to Guatemala City, leaving this coming Monday and returning the following Tuesday or Wednesday. So I’d visit GuaCity, Antigua, Lago del Atitlan, and even go over to El Salvador – to see its capital, the National Volcano Park, La Ruta de Flores, and surfers’ paradise of Bálsamo. Sounds perfect, right? That’s countries 30 and 31, taken care of. The only downside is the flights involve long overnight layovers. But the silver lining is they’re at Ronald Reagan Airport, which is on DC’s metro – so I could maybe go visit Greg? I already messaged Johnnie, but he moved away 😦

I haven’t decided yet if I should – want to talk it over with Mum and Dad first – but I’m leaning hard towards yes. #YOLO, right? I deserve some sun, relaxation, adventure, beaches and hiking and jungle and natural beauty. We’ll see.

 

Alright, let’s wrap it up.

Halloween Saturday was phenomenal. Eric and I had a great time playing 3 lightning-fast games of Dominion, and then I got some groceries and made some delicious pizza from scratch. Watched The Revenge of the Queens, the highest-rated episode of all of RPDR. And yes, it was amazing. Then sipped on pomegranate cider / pre-gamed solo as I got ready. Donned my Batman mask and leather accessories and did a(nother) killer winged eyeliner lewk… Even if you couldn’t really see it under the mask. Still, worth it.

Then I hoofed it over to Tim’s, and walked into a full damn house. Lots of people there, most of whom were dressed up as Avengers / Marvel superheroes. I was the odd man out, but whatever, I still loved how I looked. We had Quicksilver, Ironman x2, Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Captain America, Doctor Strange/Pepper Potts, the Wasp, Namor, Miss Marvel, Nick Fury, and Spiderman. Legit, the party was stacked full of great costumes. They went all out.

I chatted with a bunch of people, talked some sh!t, had some fun, drank some tinto verano, caught up with friends, front-squatted 6’ 8” Kas MacMillan, and was convinced to accompany Vanessa, Ryan, and Garreth to Lookout. I had planned on going with Eric to Yves’ party for a bit, but he left 10 minutes after I arrived to Tim’s, so that didn’t happen. Nor did T’s, because nobody I’m super close with was going there. I expected some Werewolves to be played, but that started right after I left. But it doesn’t matter, because my night was fantastic regardless.

The four of us stopped by Garreth’s super-fancy place, shared a shot, and then hopped in an Uber to the Market. It was my first actual night out at Lookout, as the only other time I had been there was as part of the underwear fashion show – and I didn’t stay long after it ended. But it was the wait, because my night could not have been better. There was a bunch of people there, but it wasn’t overcrowded – plenty of room to dance. We were on the stage most of the time, and I made a bunch of friends with strangers. Guy in gumball machine costume, Aaron (who I gave helpful advice about his costume, and he bought me a beer as thanks), girls dressed up as Trixie & Katya, shirtless guy with a backwards bejewelled K on his chest (like Karen from Mean Girls), etc. Saw Andrew Ott and Matt Harding and Brendan Gorman too, and weirdly ran into this guy I went on two dates with, way back in the winter. It didn’t work out because he’s closeted and got scared (or something), so he ghosted me. Typical, right?

So I saw him at Lookout, and instead of being fiery – I was extremely friendly. Told him that he deserves better, that I understand why he can’t be out, but I hope it all works out for him and that he finds happiness, and that he shouldn’t feel guilty at all about what happened with me, and I totally understand and forgive him. +1 for my karma!

Other funny stories – I was dancing on the stage, this person had a whole tray of drinks, and they all spilled on me. I wasn’t wearing much – compression shorts etc (with my money tucked in them and my shoes, ahhaah) – but my phone was tucked into my belt, and all the beer went on that. So I went up to her and was like, “You just spilled a whole tray of drinks on me, including my phone…. What do you I get in return?” So she offered, “Two shots?” And I was like, “Sure, let’s go.”

We go to the back bar and she orders (tequila!), and then I find out she’s just a patron, not an employee of the bar. So I immediately feel bad, and say that one shot is fine – as long as she does it with me. We wait for the bartender to get back, and I start chatting with this other guy there, an older gentleman. And I somehow convince him to buy all of our shots, as long as he does one too – and voila! That’s how you wheel and deal!

The best part of the night was the MF drag shows though. They were AMAZING. Of course, I love drag – but this seemed next-level. The best performer was the one who did creepy themes, in line with Halloween. In her one number, she was wearing this big black hat/headpiece with crow feathers on it, that spiked up from her shoulders. A big white cross was affixed to the front of the hat, and she was in this old Victorian dress. At the climax of the song, somebody poured a bucket o’ blood on her. Amazing.

And for her next performance, it was to Evanescence’s “My Immortal.” Love the song, but didn’t expect it to be so “bloody” phenomenal at a gay club after midnight. But I was LIVING for it. Everyone was singing, she was again in a creepy old-fashioned dress, with macabre, gory makeup, and it was damn emotional. I have photos and a video. Legit, I loved it so damn much. And the song’s been playing through my head for the past couple days.

Finally, the last drag show was by a different queen (who I didn’t love quite so much), but she danced to “Phone” by Lizzo – and that was running through my head through my tossing and turning on Sunday morning. Still, so much fun. Thanks so much to Vanessa, Ryan, & Garreth (+ Tim) for making my Halloween Saturday so enjoyable and memorable! That’s one for the books.

 

And with that, I’ll wrap it up here. And yes:

I JUST BOOKED AN EIGHT-DAY TRIP TO GUATEMALA, LEAVING NEXT MONDAY

Might do El Salvador too, but the US travel site has a warning there… So we’ll have to see. Plus, just more than a week isn’t a lot of time, so maybe I should just do Guatemala right. We’ll see.

Have any of you been there, besides Amy? If so, please give me pointers / recommendations! I’m excited about it!

 

K, that’s all for now folks. Love y’all, ‘til next time! ❤

 

– Jefe

A Probable Promotion | Social Saltiness | My New Hella Active Lifestyle

C’mon blog post, let’s get SICKENING!

 

Sorry, I was reading the Post-Disappearance Nancy Drew thread for RPDR10 today. Aquaria, Eureka, & Dane/Kameron are the ones I know on it. And wow, the quotes were everything. “I lub dis” type of humour. Same with The Challenge, but not enough people watch that…

 

In any case, hello! It’s apparently the hottest day of the year here in Ottawa – and it is less than a week until October! It’s 33° – and then add the sun and humidity, and you get an “extreme heat warning.” In late September! And you think climate change is a hoax, D-Trizzle? Plz, go get yourself impeached and/or educated. Preferably both.

Regardless, I’m really enjoying this extended summer. I heard from many people that this past season wasn’t typical for Ottawa, and it was the rainiest summer on record. The amount of precipitation over Canada Day weekend was especially abhorrent. So I am glad to have numerous days over 30 degrees, even if it is late (and probably concerning for the harvest / droughts around the world / hurricanes / etc).

So I’m just sitting here in front of the fan, listening to new music (the Raspo remix of Kesha’s “Praying” is everything) and tip-tapping away. Have to leave for trivia in an hour, but I figured I’d get this ball rolling. Don’t want to fall behind again, and with how busy this week at work might be – my supervisor Vinita told me to keep this weekend free, in case I need to pull some overtime – I should get this out of the way before I’m inundated with editing the Final Report.

This past weekend I had was phenomenal. Friday night was the gym. I’m really working on my deadlift form these days. Was doing 260# but my back was a bit curved, so I dropped down to 245# yesterday and managed 5 reps with great form. So, yay! Also, my legs no longer go awry during squats, I now can do 7 reps of (45+25+3.5lbs for each arm) on iso-lateral chest press, and my bicep curl (on the seated cable machine) is up to 125# for 8 reps. C’mon, progress!

Then I relaxed, refueled, finished Stranded with a Million Dollars (good job, Alex & Gina! colour me impressed!), and then headed over to Jayme + Frayzhe’s for “Friday Night Socials.” And was pleasantly surprised by the elected activity for the night: trivia! We played three rounds, thankfully with a different book than normal (no more questions about 1930s movies, the Bible, and animal collectivity names) – and I managed to win all three! Howbowdah? I legit wasn’t expecting that at all, so, yay, give myself a pat on the back.

And nota bene: I am not good at trivia because I’m a host on Mondays. I have learned some things in so doing, but believe me – I know my geography and other random factoids from before. So @Liz, @Justin, @Jayme when you lose against me, don’t try to blame it on that.

(Also nota bene – that’s all just bluster. I am nowhere near Phillip- and Dean-tier at trivia. The rest of us plebes are all just playing for third place. Maybe with a different book though…..)

 

Then Saturday was my housewarming party, so I spent the majority of the day cleaning, doing laundry, and setting up. Which included rearranging the apartment some – and I’m very pleased with the new setup! Now our dining room has a nice little sitting area as well, with Jared’s chessboard there. It looks much more balanced (previously, a big black leather couch was just sitting on the side, with nobody ever using it), and maybe I’ll actually spend time in that room now! Wouhou! Also, incidentally, Jared just came and asked if we can do “quiet hours” after 11. Well, I stay up ‘til around 12:30 every night, so that won’t fly… But! The good news is that he couldn’t hear the TV last night when it was in my room, even though I had the sound up pretty high. So that might be a solution, or creating a TV area in the dining room. We’ll have to figure it out.

Since I finished Stranded last week, I needed something new to watch over my lunch breaks. 13 Reasons Why has hour-long episodes, so that won’t work – so instead, I started watching Riverdale last night. And I’m loving it! “What if that reckoning is me? Sorry, Cheryl Blossom, you said you wanted more fire, but my specialty is ice.” mic drop – iconic! The writing is very sharp and self-aware. Love the twist on the “gay best friend” trope. I’m excited about it.

 

Also on Saturday, I bought this long tatami-like mat with a Taj Mahal-esque design on it for $2 from a Facebook group (similar to Bunz, but not only bartering). Which inspired me to hang it on my wall, to cover up some of the flaws therein – and I decorated the rest of my room too! Including finally cleaning the desk I grabbed off the curb – it was filthy – and filling the set of drawers I also got curbside and hanging the Peru & Quebec flags my friends signed for me before my departure! Really wish I would’ve brought a Scottish one to my “Adieu Do” before leaving Glasgow, but alas, hindsight is 20/20…

So my place is looking fine now, just in time for my first soirée! Chris, Tyler, Eric, Fady, Jean-Paul, Tony, Kevan, Nick + his friend Ed, Adam Young, Elena + her friend Ranna, Bryan, Charmaine, and George were the ones who showed up. Oh, and MF NDAKU, who drove from Montreal to come to the party! Like, whaaattt? Who does that? I don’t deserve him 🙂

We played some Werewolves, Flong, and Beer Pong. Chatted, listened to my hot new playlist, met new people. Then went to T’s, ran into Owen on the way, and I saw Francois, David M + Scott, and Eumar + Benoit there. It was supa hot that night too – everyone was so sweaty while in my place – so we just hung out T’s patio and chatted. Great night all around, and I was so glad to see all these fabulous people! No T no shade, but I was legit worried about how it would turn out earlier in the day, if anybody would come. I mean, I only made the Facebook event on Wednesday, and people lead busy lives. Last-minute, I pushed the start time back and changed it from a low-key potluck to more a pre-drink / party, and that was definitely the right decision, since most people couldn’t come until later anyway.

There were several guests who said they would show up or drop by after their other plans, and then I didn’t hear a peep from them throughout the night. Not going to name + shame, but UGH, it is frustrating! The consolation is that I heard from some the next day, with explanations. But for the others, I legitimately have zero idea what happened to them. It’s a shitty feeling, being ignored / ditched / whatever actually transpired. Especially by multiple people on the same night.

Don’t get me wrong – I still had a fantastic night, and it probably would’ve been too many, if everyone who said they would be there showed up – but the flakiness is just frustrating.

It’s kinda like how somebody invited me to march in the Ottawa Pride Parade with them, and I was so excited and honoured to be thought of / included. But then I never got the email with the official details, meeting time, or anything. So I sent a couple messages, asking them if it was still happening, or why I wasn’t receiving the invite. Even after the Parade, I contacted them, saying there was no hard feelings and hoping they were okay, since I didn’t see them marching at all. But it’s been radio silence since then. Not even sure if they “read” my FB message.

I’m really not sure if I should even be waxing salty about this on such a public forum, but this is a disconcertingly common occurrence / feeling of mine. I don’t know if it’s just this town, or getting older / not being school, or maybe it’s me who’s changed – but for how long I’ve been here (10 months to the day, essentially), I would hope I would have some closer friends / deeper relationships / a ride-or-die or number-one. But that hasn’t really happened yet. There are still people I adore here in Ottawa, and am so happy and fortunate I know them. I guess I just missing having a core group of friends or a couple besties. *Sigh* Just something to work on, I guess. Or rather, maybe – something to inure myself from.

A bright side: I think I have reached a point in my self-assurance that I no longer feel (as) compelled to double- and triple-text people who have received my messages but haven’t responded. It’s definitely not a good look for me. (In my defense, I’m just being forgiving and offering second and third chances to people – it’s hard for me to give up on a relationship when I’d rather go down fighting and possibly looking like a fool. At least then, I know I tried, and the denouement is not on me.)

But I think I’ve experienced some personal growth in that I know I’m a pretty alright person. Funny, fit, smart, friendly, clever, with something to say / stories to thrill. So if somebody doesn’t see that, or doesn’t pay me the time of day, well, then… Forget ‘em. I have others who like me plenty.

My busy schedule also helps with this, I think. As it stands now, the only totally free days are Saturdays. Monday trivia, Wednesday volleyball, Thursday yoga. Gym on Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday – which gives me endorphins and thus a mood boost, so if I don’t have any social goings-on, I still am in a good headspace and can go to bed feeling accomplished. And most Fridays, Frayme hosts something (which I really am appreciate of, Jayme, so please don’t think I take your continued hospitality for granted) – and Saturdays I spend a lot of time outside. Long bike rides, reading in the sun, enjoying the lovely weather we’ve been having.

Last weekend, I biked all the way to Britannia Beach and swam for the first time this summer! I hadn’t been a-splashin’ since I was on Isla Mujeres in April! :O It was a magnificent ride all the way there, down the bike path along the Ottawa River, and it’s a glorious beach. The water was cool at first, of course, but felt wonderful once you got into it. Last night, I actually took the same path and went to a different beach (Westboro) for a sunset dip. I was chatting with Jean-Paul earlier – he’s one of my teammates on Serving Realness – and asking for his suggestions as to where to go. He said he would be at Westboro Beach around 4:30 or 5, so I figured, why the heck not? Even though I don’t know him that well, I wanted to swim anyway, and some company is always pleasant! (He just arrived to Ottawa three weeks ago, so I’m assuming he was thinking the same things) We met up there and had an amazing swim. Rob & Tony showed up, and it ended up just being a phenomenal evening. The sunset was gorgeous, the water the perfect temperature. It was an ideal end to an already superb weekend. Man, I’m smiling just thinking about it. I love this endless summer! And it was great hanging out with these new(ish) friends and getting to know them better! Thanks, gents.

K it’s 6:35 and I’m at ~2000 words. Gotta dash to the Royal Oak now! ❤

 

—

 

In typical Jefe fashion, I didn’t get back to this until now, on Saturday afternoon. I worry I might be spreading myself too thin these days, with work/trivia/gym/volleyball/yoga/Lambda/friends. Or maybe I just need to give myself some more time to sleep, and/or figure out a way to have better quality sleep. I might look for a mattress pad. I like my bed as it is, but my SleepCycle app tells me I’m only getting a 75% rating for quality sleep. Hmmm…

In any case, it’s a beautiful day here. Not quite as amazing as Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week – during the heat wave – but it feels pleasantly autumnal. I just biked over and picked up some more stuff from Bunz, which I am loving these days. Got a grill, fondue set, spaghettini, and some art. Also finally got rid of that microwave the tenets left here, and tomorrow I’m obtaining some whey protein powder. For them gainz!

Haven’t really done much today so far, but with how demanding my schedule usually is, I welcome this down time. So I took my time waking up, had a nice breakfast, started watching season 4 of Broad City, and clicked around online…. And just ordered Dominion Empires from Amazon! Yay! I was gonna wait until the new one, Nocturne, comes out to #treatyoself – but it’s been pushed back until November, who knows how good it will be, and Empires is the most recent but was on sale for $41! So I had to pull the trigger. I’m working so hard and so much (and earning all this cash) that I deserve to splurge here and there. Not even like forty bucks is extravagant, but y’all know how frugal I can be…

Last night, I played games with Jason, Chris Parr, and their (and potentially my new) friend Paul. We played good ol’ Alhambra, and without my father and his superb spatial reasoning skills there, I won handily. Then we tried a new one out, called The Quest for El Dorado. It’s a race game that uses deck-building mechanisms. So, each turn, you can use your cards to advance your piece towards the goal and/or use them to buy other cards to help you on your expedition. And there are places where you can trash your cards from your deck, to slim it down – like trashing rid of your starting Coppers & Estates from Dominion. I did that more than the others, and that’s I attribute to my victory in that too.

The third game we played was brand new to me, and had a very strange name. Just texted Jason asking what it was, because by the time we started it, I had finished the leftover wine from my housewarming last weekend, and it wasn’t even in English to begin with… I had never heard of this game, let alone looked up the rules or strategy, so learning how to play was a bit difficult. It was definitely the most complex game of the night, and Paul wasn’t the best teacher. Regardless, I still managed second place. Not sure how I was so successful last night, but hey, I’m not going to second-guess myself. I try to keep myself sharp.

Then tonight, I’ll be heading to Frayme’s for some games. Legendary and Marvel Munchkin, I think? We’ll see. But I wanted to accomplish this first. It’s on my list, along with getting some stuff published. It’s been more than a year since I submitted my thesis, so the clock is ticking in terms of publishability… Not to mention the bug-chasing and gift-giving paper, the performativity of masculinity in bi/pan men, the problematic nature behind the concept of human rights, etc, etc. I really shouldn’t delay more, but it’s like the job hunt: difficult, disheartening, and demoralizing, when you send out all these submissions and keep getting rejected, if you get a response at all… Regardless. I should get back on the horse.

 

—

 

So! Let’s talk about work, baby. Let’s talk about the government and me.

I have been working with the Treasury Board for a bit more than three months now – and I have about a month left on my casual contract. I am a member of the secretariat that supports the Joint Union/Management Task Force on Diversity and Inclusion in the Public Service. When I started, the team was six people – Keihgan, Sarah, Gabrielle, Vinita, and Christine. With Jonathan coming in to help draft and edit the Task Force Final Report, and Beverley pitching in too. However, Gabrielle got a promotion and left our team, Jonathan hasn’t been in for a long while, and Keihgan and Sarah both switched to part-time, since they’re students and the school year started again. So it’s me, Christine, and Vinita handling the work – when this is probably the busiest time the Task Force has had yet. Our Final Report is due in “Fall 2017,” which we are in now. Deadlines have been pushed back, because this stuff takes time. There are so many stakeholders for the Report (both on the Employer side and with the Bargaining Agents), so many levels of the hierarchy who need to give their feedback and offer their approval, so many departments involved, so many areas the Report touches upon, etc etc. – essentially too many cooks in the kitchen. And while I am still the newest member of the team, of course I have concerns I want reflected in the document too – and not just about formatting and punctuation. I don’t want to use the Positive Space Initiative’s definition of LGBTQ, for example, which has the Q being questioning (not queer) and no mention of Two-Spirit or even a “+” to capture other identities. But of course, the entire process is a compromise, and I don’t want to get too big for my britches… So I have to pick my battles and let things go.

So, somehow, through it all, I have become the one who “holds the pen” on the Final Report. Which means I will be the one implementing all the feedback we receive into the document itself, wordsmithing and choosing where it goes and how it all fits in. Quite a lot of responsibility, for the hundreds (if not thousands) of people who will read our Report, and for how long it will (hopefully and probably) be in effect – likely more than a decade. Of course, that can be a bit intimidating – but I know I’m a skilled writer, I understand the material, and even if I do make a mistake, many people will be reading it over to approve it, and it goes to the Editing department before being released publicly. Lots of redundancies to make sure it says what we want it to say. So I don’t feel daunted about it at all, but rather very excited and proud! This is my chance to truly showcase my capabilities and prove that the chance TBS/Louise/Michael/Vinita took on me was worth it!

And I know they already believe that they made the right choice. My contract is up in a month, and I’ve heard from various people that they want to and are really trying to keep me on after that. Of course, it couldn’t be as another casual – since there’s no mechanism to create another one – so it would be a Term contract, potentially for a year but at least until March. Which would also include a bump up to the next level of my classification (PE), meaning a pay raise – and a Term is the next step to getting an “indeterminate” position (which is government-speak for permanent). So, good news all around, and I get to stick with my team! I really enjoy and respect my coworkers. We mesh well together, I’ve learned a tonne from Vinita, I like how we’re all multilingual, and I regularly laugh with Sarah / Keihgan / Christine. I do miss Gabrielle, but fortunately her new position / office is very close to mine, so I see and chat with her often!

Oh! And Louise, the woman who I originally met with, way back in March (on the last day I worked for the CCGSD), is now back in the office! She’s my supervisor’s supervisor, as well as the person in charge of Michelle, who is the manager of the Employment Equity team. So I’ve gotten to interact with and get to know her more, which I’m appreciative of. She’s more of a Francophone, so our larger team meetings (with the EE folks too) are now conducted more in French. It was a bit of a surprise when it first happened – I hadn’t caffeinated myself sufficiently prior, as I wasn’t expecting it – but now I relish the opportunity to become more fluently trilingual.

I’m very happy with my job. I’ve gotten more responsibility, which means I have more going on -> days pass faster -> I feel like I’m pulling my weight (and earning my wage) more -> I have a better sense of accomplishment. Plus I learn more, meet more people, and am generally on an upward trajectory. Love it!

In addition to “holding the pen” on the Report, I’m also the one mostly in charge of the Diversity + Inclusion Lens (one of the four chapters in the Report), which involves writing the content for the Tool, liaising with the graphic designer to make it look how I/we want it to, working with the Canada School of the Public Service on the video to complement it, and making sure the translated text is faithful to the English. Furthermore, I have been reviewing policies to support trans workers / transitioning employees / non-binary and gender-variant people, in order to adapt the recent PSPC (Public Services and Procurement Canada) guide into a TBS document, to be used on a wider scale in federal government. That’s fascinating stuff, and Scotland in particular has advanced and enlightened guidebooks. Kudos to y’all! 🙂

I also helped out the EE team with an info session on the Policy Suite Renewal for TBS two Fridays ago – which involved managing the RSVPs and reading questions from online aloud, for the presenters/experts to answer. Good thing I have all that experience with public speaking from my hosting trivia gig! And finally, I volunteered to assist with organizing the GPP (Governance, Planning, and Policy) Retreat in late November, for all 200+ employees working in that sector (which includes me). So, I’m definitely getting more involved, and I couldn’t be more pleased about it!

(And some exciting T – apparently, my team was not the only one who is / was trying to employ me after my casual contracts expires. Ooh, là là! How interesting and flattering!)

One more thing. The Executive Director of my department / sector / etc (I’m still grappling with and learning all the governmental jargon) is moving on to a new opportunity, so she had a “goodbye event” of sorts on Friday. I most certainly attended (free cake and the opportunity to network? Sign me up!), and I’m very glad I did. I somehow got to be the one to walk back downstairs with Margaret, to our offices, and we actually had a nice (if short) conversation! I was very conscious not to take up too much of her time, since she undoubtedly has an absurd amount of tasks on her plate – but I did name-drop Colum (as he requested) and gabbed some. The best part: she told me how she’s heard all these amazing things about the work I’ve been doing, and she knows they’re trying to keep me on. So if it came from her, Exec. Direc. herself – then you know it’s legit! So I’m extremely excited about it. Looks like I’m on the up-and-up, establishing myself in a legitimate career! I’m so grateful about it.

 

—

 

And with that, I’ll wrap it up. I’m supes hungs, tummy a-rumblin’, and Jayme’s games start in 45 minutes. Gonna go cook a thin-crust veggie pizza (my addiction), watch the first episode of Survivor (which I’m competing in a pool for, with one of my regular teams at trivia, Team TBD), and then head on over for (hopefully) some more victory! Yay!

 

[And about the saltiness from before, about people not showing up to my party / generally not being reliable – it’s legit no big deal at all. I don’t want people to be offended or push them away, when that’s the last thing I should be doing. Rather, it just hurts that people don’t seem to invest as much in their relationship with me, as I do for them. Or maybe they just don’t care or like me as much as vice versa – and if that’s the case, well… What can I do? Just accept it and move on. I fortunately meet people all the time and do have some absolutely lovely people here in Ottawa, so I should count my blessings / focus on that instead of dwelling on the negative]

 

One last couple things – we played our first volleyball games on Wednesday, and although Serving Realness didn’t win anything, we still performed better than expected (I surprised myself too), and I had a great time! So that was fun. Chris & Matt moved away on Wednesday morning to Montreal, so I saw them off on Tuesday – and also had a bike crash / fell off and scraped myself up on the way over there. So that wasn’t too great during the volleyball games, but who cares, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And then on Thursday, I went to the Start Proud event about diversity and inclusion – so apropos for my work in gov – and got to see some great people. Bryan, Lisa, Roberto, David. Then I watched the Will & Grace reboot at Mark & Dustin’s, with Eric, Tony, and Rob. A fab night overall.

 

Okay, sur cette note, goodbye! ‘Til next time! Enjoy your evenings,

 

– Jefe

New Flat, Who Dis? + Humour Moving Stories + TV/Reading + MTL Pride + Fun Social Goings-On

What’s up, fam-ily!

 

Cringey start to a blog post? Maybe. But then perhaps you’ll have low expectations for the rest of it! 😉 That’s my secret, after all. Low expectations so I’m not disappointed – when the converse is my kryptonite.

 

Regardless, hello! I’m sitting on my new bed in my new flat. My new roommate & his girlfriend were gonna watch The Handmaid’s Tale, but that ain’t happening…. So I’m tempted to just forget about this blog post, go make a tomato-arugula flatbread (and lunches for the week), and watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’m one episode + Untucked before the finale of Season 8, so I could do that all tonight. Or maybe I’ll finish that episode of Master of None I started today (the hour-long one, who has time for that?), watch the penultimate episode of RPDR, and save the Coronation for tomorrow night. Hmm, #choices. I’ve been on a roll with finishing up TV this weekend, though.

My new place is so close to my office – literally less than five minutes by bike, about 2.5 blocks – that I’ve started spending my lunch breaks at home. Makes things a lot easier in terms of cooking, and it also means that instead of going to the Minto Centre and doing a Metro crossword and reading my Kindle, I now just watch TV while I eat. Gives my brain a break, and it means I can catch up on my shows now. Which helped me finish the second season of sense8 this week and get further in RPDR S8. Next up will be Stranded with a Million Dollars, and then probably Riverdale and 13 Reasons Why and American Horror Story: Roanoke. But I might just start watching AHS Cult live, since that’s been getting lots of buzz recently. And of course, naturally – I’ve been keeping up with The Challenge XXX: Dirty Thirty. Oh! I also finished Black Mirror last night (the “Hated in the Nation” one, with the mechanic bees), am nearly done with Master of None, and wrapped up Kimmy Schmidt. I get a weird sense of accomplishment, crossing these off my list. Maybe because I don’t binge-watch but also feel like I’m always behind on shows that people are talking about. Like, I’ve definitely missed the boat for Riverdale and 13RW, but whatever – better late than never.

Anyway, I’m sure y’all don’t care all that much about my TV habits. But while I’m on the subject, might as well record the books I’ve been reading. I ripped through The Party by Robyn Harding and loved it. Reminded me of Liane Moriarty (of Big Little Lies and The Husband’s Secret fame), so if you like her, check it out. Good human / family drama. I just started This is How You Lose Her the other day, but it hasn’t enraptured me yet. I’ve only read one chapter, but still. Might look into Fierce Kingdom, or Three Wishes, or The Lying Game next. And I’m always open to recommendations, so suggest away!

I haven’t journaled in forever and a day, and y’all know how infrequent these blog posts are. It’s a shame, because I want to remember and chronicle all my goings-on (and I think they’re valuable pastimes), but it’s not like I’m just wasting time or being idle. Life is pretty damn busy for me these days. Working full time, hosting trivia on Mondays, gym three times a week (for 1.5 hours each time), yoga on Thursdays, regular upkeep (cooking, cleaning, meal prep, errands), here-and-there volunteering with the Lambda Foundation (I’ve been recruiting for the Board recently), some dates, and the constant socializing. Which is not a chore, don’t get me wrong – I’m a SuperExtrovert, so I need that time spent with friends – but planning takes effort, and it does take up time that I could use doing other things. But I would much rather see people I like, enjoy, and respect.

And last weekend (which fortunately had an extra day to it) was taken up with packing, moving, cleaning, an IKEA trip, unpacking, organizing, and carrying random furniture back to my new place on foot. Like my bed, which I was going to pick up when we had the U-Haul rental… Butut then there was a computer glitch. So literally 100+ people were waiting for their van on literally one of the biggest moving weekends of the whole year, because there was no manual mechanism to let these vehicles out. Horrible. Fortunately, we still got ours – but it came two hours late, and by that time, the person who sold it to me (Big Ang) had to go to work. So I had to wait until the next night (meaning I had no bed to sleep in the first night, after moving all day) to pick it up. My darling Catlin (who came to visit me, and we had an amazing time, more on that later) walked over with me to Percy/Lisgar to pick it up on Sunday night. The plan was to hoof it back ourselves – it didn’t seem that far when I biked over to see it on Saturday morning (as we were waiting for the U-Haul) – but I forgot how long it takes to get anywhere when you’re on foot. Horrible.

So Cat and I got an Uber XL, and Paul, our dear driver, was so amazing. He put all the seats in his SUV down and helped me squeeze the mattress into the back and even let us share the front seat as we rode across town. Definitely illegal, and I was nervous we would get pulled over en route – but nothing of the sort happened! We made it back to Lisgar (near Elgin) without incident, and Paul even helped us take all the pieces of the bedframe out of the car. And all for $12! What a deal! I should use Uber more often.

I’ve picked up other pieces of furniture since then, too – predominately from the curb. Jared (my new roommate) and I carried a comfy black pleather couch back to our place, and a dresser for my room, and I found a black dining table for the living room, and just tonight, Lucie (Jared’s girlfriend) and I brought another table back, for my desk. The new place is enormous, and I had absolutely no furniture to fill the apartment. But we have been very enterprising for the past week, and the place is looking pretty great! Still want a bookcase for the living room, another table/counter or two for the dining room, and an extra set of drawers for my room – for clothes and miscellanea. I guess some more decorations would be good too, since the walls in my bedroom aren’t in the best shape.

I have a lot of great paintings / wall hangings back in Nova Scotia, and Mum and Dad are driving to Ohio in November. They might be able to bring some stuff with them, stop here for the night, and that would fantastic! I could get the beautiful painting that was in Oma and Opa’s house, with the waves and shoreline. I love it so much, it would like great in the living room or my bedroom – and it would be fantastic to have a memory of them in my new Ottawa home ❤ . So hopefully that pans out – and that would also mean I could get my board games transported up here! Betrayal at House on the Hill, Puerto Rico, Serenissima, Scattergories, Cranium, and maybe a Dominion expansion or two! I just bought the base game last weekend for $25, used – but it had only been played once or twice. The cards are in great condition, and I’ve already had friends over on two nights to play in this past week! A new expansion is coming out in October too, right around my birthday. It’s called Nocturne, and it’s kinda horror-themed – with new game mechanics like Night cards (after the Buy phase), Heirlooms replacing the starting Coppers, and things called Boons and Hexes. Eek! So excited! I’m gonna treat myself to it. Oh, and I guess Mum and Dad could bring up some more of my clothing and books too.

But that’s one of the best parts of my new apartment: I can finally host things! The summer sublet on Sweetland was fab, and I did have friends over for coffee / drinks on the balcony… But there was no big table inside for games or dinner parties. But now, in this new place (I’ve been trying to figure out a name – maybe something like JM² Palace, since both Jared & I share those initials?), we have numerous tables and plenty of room, so hurray! I can be a lil social butterfly again! Horror movies and potlucks and predrinks and game nights! I’m so excited about it.

And further than that – it’s actually a place I can call my own, which I haven’t had for more than two years, since I left the “Manly Manor” in Montreal. Then it was living at SAIT in Calgary for Wynchemna, then crashing with my parents before Scotland, then the student residence in Glasgow, then couchsurfing/Camp Rainbow/staying with my sister and then aunt and cousins, then again sleeping under my parents’ roof, then renting Garry’s room, and then subletting with Gilmour and Bailey. None of it was mine for long-term, and in none of them could I call the shots about decorations and how it was all set up. But now, at the Lisgar House, my name is on the lease, I feel like I have ownership over it – it’s a home. And what a wonderful feeling that is! Especially after today, since I went on a shopping spree at Giant Tiger and Dollarama for essentials that we were lacking that I’ve been so accustomed to having. I bought a dish drying rack, silverware organizer, coffee maker, a small frying pan, a chef’s knife, straws, plastic wrap, sink stoppers, hot plates, pepper… You know, normal things to have, that neither Jared nor I had gotten yet. But now it’s real! And so much more convenient now.

Tomorrow/sometime this week, he and/or Lucie will be going to a thrift store, and hopefully they’ll find a nice but affordable set of dishes. We need more than two plates, some regular-sized forks, and drinking glasses that aren’t Mason jars. There was a bunch of glassware left here by the previous tenants – and I thought, oh, awesome, now I don’t have to go buy any! (there was even a Mill Street Organic pint glass, perfect for my iced coffee) – but then Jared got overzealous with cleaning and gave them all away 😦 Sad. He told me not to worry, ‘cause he kept the good stuff – but that was the Mason Jars -_- Ugh, sorry Mr. Hipster, my hand doesn’t fit in those, so I can’t wash them – and I prefer normal tumblers for drinks, thanks.

Obvi no big deal, and the issue will be resolved soon. But I am ecstatic about the new place. So big! A large living room and a large dining room! Bountiful storage! Nice wooden floors! So much natural light! A great little balcony! A faux fireplace and lovely mantel! Original tilework in the bathroom and the building hallways / stairwells! A huge double sink in the kitchen! A shower that’s more than just a stall! Ceiling fans in the bedrooms! A cute and friendly (and maybe queer) male neighbour who lent me a wrench! Cool archways between the rooms! Awesome crystal doorknobs! And my bedroom has two windows, on two different walls! So when I’m sleeping in my comfy new double bed (not a single anymore, thank gawd), I get to look out and see sky, regardless of which side I’m laying on! I love it! And so close to my office and grocery stores and all the other stuff in Centretown! We’re so lucky!

 

Jared’s parents came up to help him/us move last weekend, so I got to meet them too. Lucie, his mom Wendy, and I all rode in the same car (while Jared and his dad Teddy were in the U-Haul) to and from Sandy Hill / Centretown / IKEA, and we hit it off really well. Had a grand ol’ time, and it was glorious weather too. (Before six straight days of rain / grey clouds, yuck – but fortunately this week looks to be sunny and 20+ degrees every day, so yay!) It was nice meeting them, and the rented van was a humongous help with moving. I really didn’t want to schlep everything on my own again, like I did when I relocated to Sweetland in May. AND, I got to return to the wonderland that is IKEA! My friends and I used to drive the 45 minutes down to the Conshohocken store in PA back in high school, and just explore / hang out there. Actually, that’s what I did for my birthday one year, now that I think about it – with Stephen and Alyssia. Even though those people are not in my life at all anymore, it’s still a good memory. I really love IKEA. And it’s so affordable, too! And let’s not forget the FOOD! I noshed on two meals while I was there last weekend: the meatballs with lingonberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and veggies; and a Swedish sandwich with cold cuts, cheese, and cucumber. With the lingonberry soda too, of course! Delicious.

 

Lots more to write about. The exciting goings-on at work (and how I’ve gotten much more responsibility, the big boss returned, and an even more potential future there); Montreal & Ottawa Pride with Mikey & Sarah / Bailey / Ndaku / Chloe & Kelvin & Danny / Chris / the GOV Gays / etc; and other notable stuff happening in my life right now. However, it’s 10:30pm, I haven’t had a legit meal since breakfast, my laptop is at 10% battery, I gotta go make zucchini-sausage-mushroom pasta for lunches, and I wanna see more Kim Chi artistry! So I’ll stop this for now, and pick it up tomorrow or Tuesday. Ttythen.

 

…

 

So it’s been MORE THAN A WEEK since I edited this. Things have gotten real busy. Monday is hosting trivia, Tuesday I gymmed then played Mansions of Madness with Tim/Jayme/Fraser/John, Wednesday I tried out for volleyball, Thursday was yoga then board games again (Betrayal at House on the Hill with Corey/Eric/Jayme/Tim), then Friday was gym and relaxation. Saturday and Sunday were fully busy too – and now that it’s already after 6pm on Monday – I gotta get scooting to the Lieutenant’s Pump to pick up question and answer sheets and then to the Royal Oak (on Slater & Kent!) to run trivia again. Afterwards, I’ll try to “pump” this one out – but I also need to cook lunches for the rest of the week and will be pretty tired. We’ll have to see. I’m making jambalaya, though, so I’m excited about that.

To cover what I mentioned earlier – I finished RPDR S8 (loved all three lip syncs in the Finale) and Master of None, and watched the pilot for AHS: Cult and began 13 Reasons Why. I am loving the latter. It’s very well-made and keeps my attention, even if it is heart-rending. I read the book back in high school, though, so I think I’ll be able to manage. If I don’t continue this later, it’s because I was too tired, cooking took too long, and I opted for more 13RW rather than productivity.

I did not enjoy AHS Cult, though. It’s very on-the-nose (about the Trump / Clinton election debacle) and not particularly subtle. Plus, they already did the whole scary-clown thing, back in season 4! Why are bringing back these murderous circus freaks? Aren’t there other creatures that would be better to depict? But maybe they’re going for more heavy-handed “allegory” to real life, since there were those people dressing up in clown costumes and, like, skulking through the woods… Do you remember that? Was 2016 even real?

Anyway! It didn’t draw me in, even if I am happy to see Billie Lourd and Colton Haynes in it. The worst part, however, is the friggen trypophobia. Aka fear of small holes – like in coral / lotus root / honeycomb. It is a surprisingly common fear. If you’re unfamiliar, you should most definitely search it on Google Images. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though… I showed Keihgan the other day and he was #triggered. Regardless, point is, it makes me very uncomfortable / borderline nauseated – so if they keep showing that, in addition to a lackluster story with repeated elements from other AHS seasons, then I will most definitely give it a pass.

 

So now about VOLLEYBALL! I know a bunch of people who compete in the GOV (Gay Ottawa Volleyball) League, and even though I’m not monosexual/homosexual, I still wanted to try it out! I’ve always liked v-ball and considered going out for the team during high school, but it was the same season as tennis, and well, I opted for the latter. Plus, a new friend, John Lackner, needed a buddy to attend tryouts with him, and I was more than happy to oblige.

There are two leagues – a drop-in/rec one on Mondays (that I can’t do because of being a trivia emcee phenom), and a more competitive league on Wednesdays. I didn’t have anything going on last HumpDay and wanted to really earn my weekly nachos platter – so I decided to check it out. And it was so fun! Even if I might not have been the absolute best player there, I found a team regardless. It’s me, John, Anne, Kirby, Jean-Paul, Dave, and Adnan. Seven people, even though only six can play at once… So we’ll figure out a schedule so everyone is content. And the best part? The name we came up with. Originally we were the “Serv-ivors,” but Anne wanted something a bit queer-er and more tongue-in-cheek. We tossed around a lot of names (puns where “Sets” replaces “Sex,” riffs like Bump ‘n’ Grind, etc) – but we decided on Serving Realness. Like the queens always say to describe their outfits, on the runway of RuPaul’s Drag Race – but also because you serve in volleyball, duh. I was actually the one that came up with it, and I was so damn proud of myself… Only to find out later that day, that Tim had the same team name for the Summer ’17 league. Whomp whomp. Great minds think alike, I guess?

Regardless, I’m over the moon about the whole thing. I’ve already met some cool people, it was pretty fun, now I have something to look forward to on Wednesdays, and maybe the extra activity will shave my waist down so my abs are more apparent! One can hope, at least.

My team is also not uber-competitive, which I’m pleased about. I’ve never played v-ball seriously, and most of the others are beginners as well. But Adnan and Jean-Paul are apparently strong players, so hopefully they can teach the rest of our motley crew a thing or two.

I also learned a lot about the positions in volleyball last Wednesday. Whenever I played before, you would just rotate and play from where you were on the court. But nope! That’s apparently for amateurs. Whomp. So instead, I learned about the Middle, Power, Setter, and Offside positions, and where they’re supposed to go during the switch, and when the relocating happens, and the rules of when and when you can’t jump, and who gets what ball, and what you’re supposed to announce, etc, etc. It was a lot to take in, but I do think I grasped most of it.

Only problem is… I was playing Setter during the scrimmages and really striving to soak up all the requisite knowledge. Which I enjoyed and feel like I can do. However, the Setter is apparently the most difficult role to play, and the most important position for the team. Meaning most teams sink or swim based on their Setter, so you really need to be up to snuff for success… Sooooooo, not exactly all the pressure I want when I’m playing just for fun. Of course, I want to do well, but if the team is riding on me each game – that’s much too much. Plus, Jean-Paul, the most experienced person on Serving Realness, is a Setter.

So it looks like I’ll become a Power player after all. And possibly Setter.

And that’s that! Can’t wait for more practice / fun on Wednesday! But I do need to find me some knee pads first…

 

It is now 6:45. Gotta dash! // And now it’s 11pm, jambalaya is a-boilin’ on the stove, and I’m very sweaty again – even though I already showered. Oh well, I do love this Indian Summer we’re having.

 

Trivia went well. One of the teams I’m friendliest with – Team TBD – recommended I start watching Survivor again, since a new season premieres in two weeks. So I might just do that – actually, maybe I’ll mention to Jayme that that can be our Friday night socials show.

And then I zipped over on my bike to the Glebe Annex and picked up some free cutlery. Also this weekend, I traded gift bags, tissue paper, and a bottle of wine for a set of dishes – plates and bowls. And I bought a mug from St Vincent de Paul. And last week, I traded two craft beers for a whole box of quality glassware – pint glasses, shot glasses, wine glasses, tumblers, the whole lot. And it was all wrapped in socks too, so once I wash them – I’ll be able to do laundry even more infrequently! This was predominately arranged through the Bunz Facebook group. Gotta love it!

And now all Jared and I need to make this house a home is a toaster or toaster oven. But Chris & Matt might be getting rid of theirs when they (devastatingly) move to Montreal, so their loss might be our gain. Still, I’d give up a free toaster oven if it meant they were staying local 😦

 

So I think I’ll wrap this up sooner rather than later, and leave explanation of all the work stuff for an update on another day. But let’s catch you up on some social stuff!

Now that I live in a place that is my own that has a big living room and couches and a dining table – I can finally hold social goings-on! So the first week I was here, I game nights on back-to-back days, playing Dominion (Base + Adventures). Did the same this past Saturday, and then people came over for pre’s, and then we went out to the Queer Mafia event at Babylon! And that was fab. And this coming weekend, I am probably going to have a housewarming party / potluck / Werewolves night. I’m centrally located and a social butterfly, so why not mix up my social circles and help people meet each other? Hurray! More dinner parties and scary movies and gatherings!

 

I managed to attend not only Pride in Toronto this year (with bb Julia), but also Montreal and Ottawa. The former was totally fabulous. I wanted to take off Friday and go up Thursday evening – there was a free event with ten of Drag Race queens – but could not. It ended up being for the best, because I attended an official meeting of the Joint Union/Management Task Force on Diversity & Inclusion and got to meet all these people I’ve only heard about – so that was a great opportunity, and I learned a lot. Would not have wanted to miss that for some lip syncing.

So I went up on Friday evening in a rideshare, and the driver and I actually hit it off great! His name is Alex, we had great conversation, listened to a podcast together, and debated about the sexualisation of Pride, morality, board games, and Ottawa social qualms. Very interesting!

I stayed with Mikey & Sarah in Montreal, but unfortunately didn’t get to see them that much 😦 I arrived to Montreal, walked through the Village, went to the free Nelly Furtado concert (and saw the opener, Ria Mae, perform – both were magnif. Check out “Bend” by RM if you haven’t heard it), then meandered back to meet Mikey. I changed into clubwear, put on winged eyeliner, bought some rosé, and he and I whisked off to Lionel Groulx for a house party with his coworkers. It was a legit party too – with snacks, Jello shots, and a swell variety of people!

I met some of his friends, had some titillating conversations, but then it was last call for the Metro, and I was itching to get Pride started off with a bang. So I jogged back to the station with my half-finished bottle of pank wine, rode to Beaudry, and somehow rendezvoused with Ndaku on the crowded pedestrian village of Ste-Catherine, outside Sky Bar. We chit chat on the street, he transfers his stamp onto my wrist, and we (re-)enter the club, despite the line being long enough to wrap around the corner D: Sorry, folks!

Ndaku & I dance a bit, but spend most of our time on the rooftop terrasse. The weather in Montreal for Pride was absolutely perfect. I was out both Friday and Saturday nights until after 4am, just hanging out and talking to friends on the streets. It was glorious, and that never happens in Ottawa. How I miss La Belle Ville 😦 So I stay out ‘til 4:30, sitting on these white benches/installations across from Cabaret Mado, just shooting the breeze with Ndaku and some of his new Montreal friends. Perfect night.

Then I meander back to Mikey & Sarah’s and go to sleep.

And on that night… I’m gonna wrap it up here, at 4320+ words and 11:40pm when I’m in the office at 8:30am.

Still have beaucoup to write about, but it’ll have to wait.

 

Hope y’all are doing well – living your best lives. It really seems like I am, these days (finally). I’m very content with my new place, work is going fantastically, and as each week passes, I start to like the people I know here in Ottawa even more.

 

Stay tuned for the next update! Hopefully it’ll come in a week or two! And until then – keep on being your bad selves 😛

 

Love + light,

 

– Jefe

My Amazing New Job, Important Work, Powerlifting Progress, Self-Deprecation / Self-Reflection, & Lotsa Social Goings-on

Well hello!

 

I know it’ll sound cliché, but WOW, it’s been a while since I’ve written a blog update! It’s been more than six weeks, actually – and how things can change in that (relatively) short amount of time.

As you know, I’m working again, 8:30-4:30 Monday-Friday. And with the majority of most of my days devoted to being at the office, yikes, it doesn’t really leave much time or space for anything else. Like I was saying to Deanie, “Wow, when you’re working full-time, you really can’t do much else. And I’m always tired.” To which he responded, “Welcome to adulthood! This is growing up!” Mm, yeah. Thanks for that insight, pal. It’s Stockholm Syndrome or something.

As I 100% expected, it was tough readjusting to working and focusing on something for eight hours at a time. After three months of unemployment (but not idleness), of course it’ll take some time to get back in the swing of things. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I was being a total wago or couch potato post-CCGSD. I was hosting trivia once per week (and sometimes more), reading lots, exploring the city on foot and my bike, meeting people, volunteering for the Lambda Foundation, doing yoga at GayZone, and I got back into lifting (finally, after intending to do so since February). And even if I was so exhausted so often, I have fortunately kept all those things up! (Except maybe for reading. But in recent memory, I read: The Past, Into the Water, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and The Handmaid’s Tale. And now I’m onto Amy Schumer’s book/memoir, “The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo.” I’ll take recommendations for my next one, too – am hoping to find something similar to A Little Life.)

I’m especially happy that I’ve continued weightlifting. I would say powerlifting, but I’m not too sure if it’s accurate, even if I am going for high weight-low reps. In any case, for progress’ sake, here’s what I accomplished yesterday:

• 3 sets of 5 reps of back squats, of 215lbs (really trying to have my thighs parallel to the floor on each rep, and making sure my leg doesn’t turn sideways when I’m going up)
• 3 sets of 8 reps of seated overhead tricep press with a 55# dumbbell (which I just began yesterday, to replace tricep press-down, and I’m feeling it today – which I love, because that means it’s working!)
• 1 set of 5 reps of 225# deadlift with a hex bar (accomplished 245# the other day, but my back felt a bit tweaked afterward, so I toned it down to perfect my form)
• 3 sets of 5-6 reps of iso-lateral seated bench press, with 150# (another change I recently implemented, instead of traditional bench press – which I was doing at the Smiths machine, since I don’t have a spotter/buddy. my pecs haven’t been that sore, so maybe I’ll switch to dumbbell flies soon)
• 3 sets of 12 incline crunches, holding a 45# plate (should probably include some twists to work the obliques, but have not heretofore)
• 3 sets of 10 reps of leg press, with five 45# + one 35# on each side (the machine says the starting resistance is ~105lbs, but I don’t know if that means that how much it helps you – or how much weight it takes away from the total amount – or if that’s how much it is before loading any plates on it. any advice onto that? so it’s either 620 or 420lbs, but I’m leaning more towards the latter. my thighs have become more thunderous, but I’m not Schwarzenegger-sized just yet)
• 3 sets of 10 reps of bicep curl, with 35# dumbbells. I was doing it with 40# dumbbells and/or an 80# pre-set barbell, but then my forearms were excruciatingly sore afterward – felt like shin splints but in my arms. it was kinda like bone pain, actually. and Google told me that’s from improper form, so I’ve been trying to ameliorate that.

And that’s my routine, thrice a week (mostly Tuesday, Friday, Sunday, with yoga on Thursday and me biking around all the time). The muscle groups that are being neglected are the shoulders and the upper back / lats, though. I was doing standing shoulder press with a barbell (inspired by CrossFit), but my right shoulder was bothering me from when I tweaked it during that two-week (aka too-weak) trial at KRX Fitness. So I stopped though, and it feels better now… But I haven’t picked it up again (pun intended).

As for the back, I’m not too keen on adding something else to my regimen, since it’s hard enough motivating myself to go and do it all as it is (and because I feel like I hit it enough through squats and deadlifts)… But lat pull-down has always been easy for me. Maybe I’ll throw in a couple sets of that, while resting from the squat/tricep split sets – or perhaps I’ll just do pull-ups on the off-days. Dunno. Gimme advice if you got any, friends!

So there’s that! And I have noticed progress / growth / gains. I’ve started eating more, of course – but I’m more doing a #dirtybulk instead of tracking my macros or exclusively having chicken breast and brown rice and broccoli. So I’m definitely thicker than I usually am, but maybe that’s not all from muscle And now that I’m working, my meals seem to be repetitive. Whole-wheat bagel with jalapeno cream cheese and a yogurt parfait with banana and granola for breakfast, then pasta with sausage, zucchini, mushroom, onion, chick peas, peppers, and eggplant for lunch. Iced coffee in the mornings, green tea in the afternoons – and for dinner, it’s almost invariably salad with a main dish. Often pizza, but sometimes chicken and fries or peanut butter ramen. And then, now that The Challenge is back airing, it’s nachos and a cocktail with that. Yummy.

Seems like I’ve been in a bit of a rut for my meal plans, though – so give me recommendations on that too, if you could! I’m thinking about a rice-bean salad with corn and mushroom and sausage for next week. Something easy to make, relatively healthy, tasty, and with protein. And probably with mushrooms too, since it’s my apparent food-of-the-summer.

 

So what else is up? I tried introducing The Challenge XXX: Dirty Thirty to a friend group, for “Friday Night Socials” – but they all gabbed throughout the entire episode, made fun of the “breeders,” didn’t understand what non-binary or pansexual meant, and essentially didn’t pay attention… And then said they didn’t like it, so it was a bust. LOOOLLLLL k then. I’ll keep watching it solo on Wednesdays, enjoy the cheesy goodness (both the show + and the nachos), and continue being a very regular (and well-liked) user on the subreddit. Like Iggy Azalea said, “don’t need y’all.” We’ve moved to watching an old season of RuPaul’s Drag Race instead, which is great. I wanted All-Stars 2, since it is a very popular and dramatic and favourite season of many people (and also one of the two I haven’t yet seen)… But instead, Season 6 was chosen, which I just watched for the first time a month ago. Whomp whomp. It’s cool, though, because the Adore & Bianca one-liners are friggen Au. And it’s not like I can hear much of it anyway 😛

I’m still in the summer sublet in Sandy Hill, and loving it. Gilmour is a great guy to live with, the place is wonderful, I love the balcony (am currently sitting on it as I type this), and it’s nice to be somewhere nice for once. However, nothing gold can stay, and Alexei will be returning within the month. Gil actually offered for me to move into his room after my sublet terminated – and I got all excited, thinking all my problems were solved – and then the next day, he was all, “Just kidding!” Ugh. Easy come, easy go, I suppose.

Regardless! He still has helped me in a huge way. The guy he was going to move in with, Jared, is not going to live with me instead! He and I met for coffee last week (at the Happy Goat Café), and both liked each other enough to cohabitate. I was looking at one-bedroom apartments (too expensive, too small, and I’m lonely despite living with others as it is) and places where people were looking for a roommate (but then I wouldn’t really feel ownership of the flat, and a lot of those I met didn’t seem like high-caliber characters)… But I wasn’t thrilled about anything I found. And when Elena says she misses living with people… Then you know I wouldn’t love it.

So Jared and I have been apartment-hunting together, biked around the city viewing some places on Saturday – but everything was substandard. But then I toured this great flat yesterday, on Lisgar (between Elgin & Metcalfe, a block south of my first place here), with a tonne of space and a balcony and nice wood floors, in what seems like a heritage building, all for a (very) reasonable price. Jared and I had strategized about it prior to my viewing it, and if I liked it – then we would immediately submit our application. And so we did! I sent off the references and proof of income as soon as I got home.

The landlady responded, asking J if he wanted to see it too – and so they set up a viewing for today at noon. He loved it, and asked her when we could send the lease. She said that she’d talk with the building owner today, and she’ll let us know by tomorrow! Whaaaaatttt! :O So, keep your fingers crossed, people! This place is gorgeous! And a great price! And it would be so wonderful / such a relief to have this flat business figured out sooner rather than later. (Because I also have to worry about procuring furniture and renting a car to move all my stuff etc etc, and I don’t want to be doing all that last-minute, while I’m still working full-time)

And if that doesn’t work out, well… Whatever. It’s not like I’m a stranger to disappointment. We’ll survive. And maybe there’s a place that is even better and bigger and more centrally located at a lower price, out there for us. Perhaps.

 

Oh man. This is where I start getting demoralized. I’m at 1800 words and still have so much to write about… This is why I shouldn’t wait so long between updates. Sigh, c’est la vie.

 

I’ll address what you all probably came here to read about now: my job at TBS. My first day was the last time I updated my blog – so June 23^rd. It’s been 6.5 weeks then, and, naturally, I’ve been doing a whole lot since I began.

To be clear, I’m working on the Secretariat that supports the Task Force which is examining diversity & inclusion in the public service. We/they have analyzed this via numerous means – an environmental scan (of existing policies in governmental departments, the private sector, and other national governments), an online survey (with about 12,000 respondents), in-person discussion forums with regional and/or stakeholder groups (including one for LGBTQ2+ people), broader research, and consulting the results of the Survey of Indigenous Federal Employees and findings from Accessibility Legislation.

What I do, specifically, is read – a whole lot. The different policies about diversity and inclusion in all these different organizations, reports on Employment Equity, findings of different surveys (PSES, PSEAS, OPS survey, Indigenous survey, our D&I survey), news articles about these subjects, etc, etc. I also go over documents that my team has written themselves – drafts of the Final Report, various annexes, recommendation chapters, etc – and offer my edits and suggestions and rewordings through track changes. I also analyze the differences between the results of surveys and write this into coherent sentences, to be included in our Report. Brevity is of utmost importance, but it’s difficult to capture all the nuances and methodology and respondent population and all the other considerations in a couple lines. Regardless, I must do it, because our “deliverable” cannot come to a prohibitive number of pages. We actually want people to read it, to learn about all that we have discovered, and to embrace our recommendations. We are aiming for a true change in the fundamental culture of the public service – to be more inclusive, welcoming, aware, diversified, and productive.

And I guess, in a nutshell, that is what I have been doing for the past six weeks! And will continue to do through September, but at an accelerated pace. The Task Force resolves itself next month, and that is when we will publish the report on all our findings and recommendations, from a year’s worth of intensive work, with probably 15,000 people involved. As for what happens after that… It’s a huge question mark. Nobody really knows what form the Task Force will take subsequent to the Final Report. But there is a huge mandate for Diversity & Inclusion in government these days – thanks to good ol’ Trudeau, but for other reasons too – and significant support and passion and buy-in behind it. So it’s not like we’ll offer up our treasured document, that that’ll be the end of that. I do expect much will happen after that, but as to how that will look – nobody knows.

For my situation – I’m on a casual contract until the beginning of November. So we’ll see what I wind up doing after contributing to and editing the Final Report. Maybe/hopefully something with traveling around and educating public servants / different departments about all our findings, and how best to implement our recommendations. Maybe consciousness-raising in regards to LGBTQ2+ issues and other axes of diversity? I would love that. And a little birdie told me that one of the higher-ups in my organization recently received a remit to do just that… So I theoretically could be involved with that.

At one of our weekly meetings (the D&I team and the Employment Equity team), my supervisor, Vinita, was introducing me to everyone else. And she mentioned how one of the strengths I bring to the table is expertise (and lived experience) about queer issues – and then somebody mentioned how, maybe I could give us a presentation about that?

And so I did – I took that and ran with it. Created a “deck” (which is government-speak for a PowerPoint file) entitled “LGBTQ2(SQTPAAANBGq)+: Demystifying Queer Terminology.” I broke down the relevant identities into five simple categories: Sex Assigned at Birth, Gender Identity, Gender Expression, Sexual Orientation, and Romantic Attraction – or “SIESR” for short, pronounced like Caesar, with obvious pun opportunities for talking about the “salad of queer identities.” I also addressed Systems of Oppression, Intersectionality, and Privilege; talked about the Impact of Language; and even introduced/briefly explained other terms (Transvestite, Drag, Polyamory, and BDSM/Kink). Yes, you might argue that S&M have no place to be discussed in government, and I totally get your point. But I was looking forward, gazing into the future, and trying to think about what the next issue for inclusion will be. The past had mainstream monosexual identities (gay and lesbian), then bi came along, and then trans, and now we’re in the whole non-binary and androgynous and gender identity chapter (not that any of the previous sections are 100% solved, oh no, God no, far from it). So what’s next? Polyamory, and then maybe kinky lifestyles in the future. Because you know people have been discriminated against and unfairly judged and probably even evicted and fired because they like leather or bondage. (And, well, if you don’t know that already – now you do. I’ve studied BDSM at an academic level)

 

I was really looking forward to giving this presentation to my team, but (as is common in government, I imagine) it was postponed twice. And by the time I could lead the training, Sylvain – the person who was filling in for our director (Louise, the woman who I met with originally, way back in March) – was not at the meeting. Such a shame, since I wanted to prove to him (and to everybody else) that I have strong facilitation and presentation skills. Ah well.

I did manage to do so to the rest of the attendees, though. My PowerPoint was very well-received, it generated some quality discussion, and I felt comfortable doing it. I will be disseminating the training through a network called InfoShare, which I believe is Treasury Board-wide. Vinita and Sylvain encouraged me to do so, and you know, why not? What do I have to lose? I have fielded some ignorant questions before, and I do want to help spread awareness and dispel misconceptions and educate about these issues. So I’ll let you know how that goes.

But more excitingly than that – I had a meeting, just today, with another supervisor, and she says she’s going to try to offer me another contract after my current one expires! To work in her “shop” (another government jargon term), likely on issues relating to gender identity and expression. And if it all goes as she wants it to, I’d be a Term employee instead of a Casual one. And Terms can last up to a year, and sometimes even for multiple years! So yay! Keep your fingers crossed for that as well! Because I really don’t want to do the job hunt again. But more importantly, I believe in the work I’m doing; I’m in a position where I can effect true change (in government, certainly – but also possibly nationwide); there’s tonnes of opportunities for personal growth and professional development; there’s room for advancement; and I want to commit to a career and invest in myself and stop all this gallivanting around, from city to city & apartment to apartment & job to job! So I do hope that “works” out. It would be fantastic.

Beyond that, I really like my colleagues too, and seem to fit in remarkably well with them. Keihgan, Sarah, Gabrielle, Christine, and Vinita are all fabulous people, and I respect them all very much. Same with those on the EE team, who I sometimes collaborate with – both Beverly’s, Dyllan, Michelle, Crystal, and Charlene. We have a great group! And I’m grateful for that.

 

So that’s work! I have my own little office/cubicle and have actually been given tools to do my job – a personal computer (which is a Microsoft Surface Pro 3), a work phone, locking cabinet, an email with my name in it, two computer monitors, and various training sessions. It’s like they’re actually investing in me, instead of leaving me to my own devices and letting me fend for myself. Hmm, what a novel concept. Maybe another organization could benefit from that…

But in all seriousness, I’m very happy with my positon. It’s been a little frustrating adjusting to the bureaucratic pace of government sometimes – and how even resolving a simple IT issue seems to take eons – but I love it. I feel like I’m in the right place and on the right path. My life is very fortunate right now, and although I do get sad or down on myself from time to time (more on that later, probably) – I need to remember that things are going remarkably well. So, yay.

 

Now it’s 8:30, the sun has dipped down below the buildings, and it’s a bit chilly out here. We’ve had some bizarre temperatures recently. It’s August in Ottawa, and it should be 30°+ and humid – but instead, it’s been downright vernal. And also torrential – apparently this year is the rainiest on record. Quite strange, and irksome. Like, I moved from Glasgow! I did my waiting! Twenty years of it! In Azkaban! I’m ready for some warmth and sun.

Anyway. I’m hungry and just crest 3300 words. I’m gonna go make some dinner (thin crust vegetable pizza and salad – you guessed it! mushrooms on the ‘za too, you’re right!) and watch Sense8, which I finally got back into last night. And then, inchallah, I’ll wrap up this post.

(One final tidbit before I dash – I’ve been watching lots of RuPaul, of course, and just finished Season 7 this past weekend. The Challenge Dirty Thirty has been Litticus, and I’m loving it. I also recently watched the fifth seasons of both House of Cards and Orange is the New Black, and enjoyed both – the latter more than the former, sorry ‘bout it. I’m halfway through Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt season 3, and after sense8, I’ll probably try out Riverdale. Or 13 Reasons Why. And then more RPDR, and then maybe Dear White People, and then possibly break into Teen Wolf. I was discussing this all with darling Kai Pai yesterday, and he gave me some great ideas. Anyway – off I go! Tummy’s a-rumblin’!)

 

Okay I’m back! And it’s almost 11pm. Yikes.

 

I guess the rest of what I have to say is all about social stuff. So I’ll start with my own intra- and interpersonal struggles.

A lot of my humour is snarky / sassy – saying stuff that’s hyperbolic or ridiculous to see what I can get away with. Like “reading” people on Drag Race, or throwing shade. But it’s not serious – I’m just ribbing people, teasing, being a lil mischievous. But harmless.

And at the same time, my sense of humour is sarcastic and deadpan. Where I say things that are clearly not the case (or at least, it’s obvious to me), or 100% contradictory, or self-deprecating, or, again, snarky.

But if people don’t know me well – then they don’t know that I’m joking or being sarky (sic) or facetious or anything. And that’s honestly what I think has happened here, because a disconcerting number of people think I’m some huge A-hole and don’t give me the benefit of the doubt and assume I’m being a total jerk, when I’m actually kidding or mean something completely different. Of course I won’t name names, but dang, it sucks to learn what people actually think about you.

Naturally, I could just say, “Man, screw this, I don’t need these people in my life, if they’re going to jump to conclusions and never cut me slack.” That might feel better – because then I don’t have to second-guess myself and figure out where I’m going wrong – but it’s the selfish route. If it were just an isolated incidence or two, with people I’m not close to, then that’d be a different story. But it wasn’t. And I don’t want to have a reputation of being a meanie, especially if it’s undeserved / because I’m misunderstood.

So I have decided, a la Violet Chachki, that I’m going to explain when I’m kidding or when I’m actually being serious, if it’s unclear. Yes, I think I’m GD hysterical, and would be an amazing personality for reality TV… But I am NOT on reality TV, this is legit, and I do value kindness – even if it leads me to being screwed over. Because then I have the knowledge that I was the better/bigger person, and I don’t have regrets. I’ve been hurt in my life plenty, and I’ve developed resiliency skills and coping mechanisms to deal with those feelings and disappointments. So as long as I try to be a good person, then I should be satisfied.

(Similar to that, though – I think I’m going to try not putting myself out there so much and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I get ahead of myself, people don’t reciprocate interest, and I get ignored, undervalued, and upset. It’s happened three times with three different people in three months, and I’ve just had it, officially. So we’ll see how this “Ice Prince” tactic fares for me. I can always re-evaluate in the future.)

 

Beyond that, and on a happier note – I’ve just had some fabulous weekends for the past month and a half. Maybe I’ll expand upon this in another update, but:

• Rented a van, picked up ridesharers, dropped them off, hung out with darling Ky, packed the van with Julia’s stuff, and drove to Toronto. Talked about drag queens and listened to Halsey and Lorde and The Weeknd and Bishop Briggs and stopped in a thrift store and bought a huge mirror for like $15 and had lots of laughs. Made it to TO, moved her into her beautiful new apartment, met her roommates (Gaz!), went out and walked around the street fair for Pride. Slept, got Banh Mi Boys for breakfast, she did my makeup (that a drag queen later complimented), we pre-drank with her roommates, and then went to the Pride Parade. I ran into so many people I knew on the 24 hours I had in Toronto – way more so than happens in Ottawa, where I live. How sad is that? This included the lovely Sam Reisler & wonderful Johanna Nikelotos. The parade was great, and I was so happy to be at Pride again – since I didn’t get to attend one last summer. But this summer, I’m doing Toronto, Montreal, and Ottawa! Wouhou!
• Then I picked up Bryan, Charmaine, and George, and we drove back to Ottawa – and I ran into my new coworker, Sarah, at one of the rest stops. Super bizarre, and neither of us could place the other, since my first day was literally two days prior. Hilarious.
• Brendan Prouse came and stayed with me for Canada Day weekend, and Brigid was also in town, after several years abroad. It was a rainy, messy disaster of a weekend – but I was so glad to see them both! And we had some fun times. I played Werewolves at Luke’s place, hung out with Colum at his friend’s house (double-fisting brut and tequila), then dominated at some Tummies & Flong with Bren as my partner, at Allyson & Thierry’s place. Then met up with Col again for the fireworks. Lovely. And the WE Day free concert the following evening.
• Biked down to Mooney’s Bay for the HOPE Volleyball Event, and hung out with Dean there, while enjoying the sun, the warmth, the music, and all the skin on display.
• Biked down to Mooney’s Bay again the next weekend, and played beach volleyball with Tim, Jayme, Fraser, Hris, and the rest of the board game gang. Fantastic time, even if I wasn’t as good as I remembered (and the competitive players weren’t happy with me) and I jammed my thumb. Then back to Frayme’s for a BBQ and some games.
• Lots of nights spent at Jayme & Fraser’s place, with JackBox, Friday Night Socials, JF’s music quiz game, other games and Werewolves – though the latter doesn’t happen often enough. It’s my fave, though!
• La Cocina Loca in Hintonburg with Elena & Christian, and then wandering around the Chinatown Night Market afterward.
• Martinis and catching up with Amy at The Standard.
• Seeing Kevan Lu again, for the first time in four years! Eating delicious Korean fried chicken at The Fry with him, and playing Sm4sh with him & Hris another day.
• Happy Hour with Hris, JF, and Julien.
• Kai Pie’s goodbye brunch, down at K-Rae’s, with Cameron, Katie, & Sarah. Gonna miss you so much broski 😥 Yummy food & good laughs though!
• Sarah’s housewarming with Cameron, Rick, Miguel, and Katie. Marvelous time and company. And then karaoke with the rugby team in Centretown afterward.
• Dan’s costume party, in which I dressed up as Fergie, lip-synched and danced to “London Bridge,” and won a bottle of wine. Then went to Babylon for the first time, unfortunately missed all the performances (from Tyler, Owen, Chris, and Nich) – but still had an amazing time.
• A Queer Mafia event with friends I made through hosting trivia – some of my regulars, actually (from Team Never Gonna Get a Husband)! It was a bit strange to hang out with them when I only know them in the context of the Royal Oak, but I still enjoyed myself. They’re good people. Another one of my regular teams, Team TBD, has invited me to some events as well – I’ll take them up on their offer sometime. I’m always ready to meet and hang out with new people, social butterfly that I am. Yay!
• Other game nights, but not with Colum/Dean/Luke recently. We finished our Pandemic Legacy Season 1 campaign, and I haven’t seen them since. Sad! But it’s not like I’m at a dearth for game nights, so it’s fine. Played Evolution with Owen/Jason/Nick and loved that. 7 Wonders with the Cities and Leaders expansions too, which are fun. Did this twice, actually – with Tim/Jayme/JF the other time.
• Zach’s pool party and BBQ this past Sunday, with Patrick/JP/Derek/Colin. A great afternoon.
• La Machine (aka an ENORMOUS DRAGON ROBOT) with my coworkers.
• Ndaku’s being in town! And having a superb meal with him at The Buzz, thanks to the gift certificate I received for taking part in the underwear fashion show!

 

And probably some more stuff I’m forgetting to mention right now. With how much of an extrovert I am, you better believe I keep myself busy with social plans. And while I lament that I don’t have (too many) close relationships with people here, it’s undeniable that I know a bunch of people, am friendly with all of them, and very often have plans. I shouldn’t be unhappy about it at all – but, well, that’s easier said than done.

But, repeat after me: Life. Is. Good. I am very fortunate and need to be more cognizant of that, and show more gratitude, and stop letting the little stuff get me down.

And on that note – I gotta dash. It’s nearly midnight (my bedtime!), and I still have to shower and shave. Eek!

 

Bi for now, folks.

It’s good to be back! 🙂

 

Love+light,

 

– Jef / Jefe / Jefferson

Last Day of “Freedom,” MY FIRST DAY AT WORK AT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, & the Last Chapter of My Magnificent Trip to Mexico (Merida, Cancun, Bungee Jumping, Isla Mujeres & Montreal)

Shalom,

 

So today is my last day as an untethered young buck. Tomorrow I start my job as Junior Program Officer, affiliated with the Joint/Union Management Task Force on Diversity & Inclusion in the Public Service, in the Treasury Board Secretariat of the Canadian Federal Government! Now how prestigious (and intimidating) does that sound? I’m so excited about it! And a bit nervous! And not really sure what to expect! But definitely ready to begin! Wouhou!

How am I spending my last taste of freedom? I woke up early, as I’m trying to reset / regularize my sleep schedule, and sipped iced coffee while reading about The Challenge (the finale of its spinoff Champs vs Pros aired on Tuesday night, and the new season premieres in less than a month). Then went for a short bike ride, got the newspaper, and ate a late breakfast out on the balcony while completing the crossword and reading some articles. Now I’m working on this blog post, going to yoga at 5, and I have my weekly Pandemic Legacy game later tonight. Then likely an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 (just witnessed the iconique Laganja breakdown, and okurrrr mawma, it was everything, just too f***ing much, SUCH a disaster) and an early bedtime – because tomorrow, I’m at the office at 9am! Whuuttt! Insanity.

And considering how I’ll be out of town all day Saturday & Sunday – I’m helping Tsarina Tsybina move to Toronto by renting a car, picking up ridesharers, driving to Montreal, loading the minivan, heading to T-Dot, listening to the S-Town podcast, sleeping overnight, attending the Pride Parade, then driving back to Ottawa Sunday evening – I need to finish up blogging ‘bout Mexico. I know I sound like a broken record by now, so I’m just gonna get it out of the way, so we can move onto other topics. Plus, after tomorrow, I feel I’ll have much more to discuss – and also much less energy to do so. I know starting working again is going to be exhausting and have a sharp learning curve. I’m prepared for it, but I’m not necessarily looking forward to the adjustment period. Plus I want to continue hitting the gym, so hopefully I’ll have the wherewithal to do that. But it’s that famous paradox, isn’t it? Working out actually gives you more energy, despite everything you expend in the process. I suppose it’s about putting your stamina to the test, depleting it, so you have more in general. I’m not totally sure. But I hope that the past six weeks have conditioned me to be able to last longer and be more energetic.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

 

—

 

Day 11: Merida & Cancun

 

Woke up early, enjoyed the quality hostel breakfast, packed my stuff up, and put it “closed with a key” (cerrado con llave) in the locker. Then hurried down to the main plaza, where there was a free walking tour, which are a great way to explore a city. You can wander around yourself, certainly – and that is what I predominately do – but then there’s so much nuance and history and interesting factoids that you miss when you don’t have somebody there to explain / introduce it to you. I was meeting Fritzi there, and we even waited up for her, but she never showed. That’s one frustration of traveling abroad. You get so accustomed to being able to communicate with others at a moment’s notice when you’re back home – due to WiFi or data on your mobile – so when you’re without that, it goes back to the old-fashioned ways of doing things, pre-cell phones. I kinda like it, though. It’s a return to simpler times. If they show up, great – and if not, well, you can’t get upset about it. These things happen. And it turns out that there were actually two walking tours departing at the same time nearby each other – so she went to the other one, where she was also wondering where I was. Shame, since I wanted to hang out with her again, but what can ya do?

The walking tour was very informative. We learned about the big Cathedral, toured the church, wandered through a free museum in a government building, and checked out the brilliant architecture of other edifices in the city. Lots of wealth families lived in Merida once upon a time, due to the production of sisal, a plant fibre that is woven into rope. The industry boomed and richesse came with it – along with opulent homes and colonial architectural details and luxe living spaces. As well as enormous haciendas outside the city, that I unfortunately missed out on (you can’t do it all). Nowadays, many of these have been converted into upper-crust hotels and palatial estates for the bougie travelers to enjoy. Me, I prefer that hostel and couchsurfing life. All the better to meet people and truly experience an area!

We also walked down this road in which all the shops had these fish tanks / terraria with these cockroach-looking bugs in them for sale. The kicker is that they were all bejeweled, with gold chains and sparkly gems and the like. They’re called makech, and the apparently immobilize themselves when they’re touched. So the idea is, you hang them on y our top like a brooch, and it just dangles there without crawling anywhere. And when you put them back in their cage, they resume movement. It’s living art, a bit macabre, interesting, eye-catching. Like the blinged-out roaches on America’s Next Top Model. I wouldn’t personally do it, but I do think it’s cool.

And the legend behind it is that there was this affluent father (maybe a king?) with a daughter (possibly a princess) that he gave anything she ever desired. After his conquests, he would always bring back a gift for his darling daughter. Except one time, she wanted one of the slaves (or maybe a prisoner) that her father won due to his victory – but he wasn’t having any of it. She disobeyed him, went behind his back, and had a torrid love affair with this slave – only to be caught by the king. To punish her, he turned her lover into a beetle, and the markech adornments were born! Quite the unique souvenir, they would be. But unfortunately, the shopkeepers even charged for you to take a picture of them, so I have none. Google-image search that ish if you’re so inclined.

Our lovely tour guide also told us the history of those white twin-chairs you see everywhere. Similar to the previous old-fashioned story, a father created these chairs so that his daughter could sit and talk with her lover, but they had a barrier between them so it wouldn’t go too far. And of course, the father could sit and watch them converse. How creepy and overbearing is that? #SmashthePatriarchy! Nonetheless, the seats are pretty cool and unique. Another standout image from Merida.

We ended the expedition at this great museum / artists’ residence in a converted old abode. Merida is a very popular city these days with young adults. It seems a bit hipster to me, actually. Very artsy and new-fashioned and up-and-coming. Like Bed Stuy. With artisanal ice cream shops owned by Polish immigrants to trendy art galleries to expensive espresso to La Negrita Cantina. It’s good stuff. Keidan really recommends it. Me, I didn’t love it, but I’m still glad I visited.

After that, I tipped the guide (since it’s not actually free, and she deserved it anyhow) then had to dash. I had bought my bus ticket the day prior for 1pm, and so happy I did, because every seat was taken, and all of the other passengers had kids and snacks and blankets with them. They’re resident pros, on the long bus ride from Merida to Cancun. Like 4-5 hours. Thank Dios there was air-conditioning.

Oooohh! Two funny stories. I bought the ticket from a travel agent off the main square, but due to my annoying frugality instincts, I missed out on a much cheaper one early in the morning, because I didn’t trust her word and walked to the bus station to check it out myself. And by the time I got back, there were no vacancies left. Of course. Don’t get me wrong, I like how I’m money-savvy and don’t go throwing it away – because then I can afford things I really care about (like travel) and not just be profligate with impulsive purchases or eating out – but it does annoy me sometimes. Just another characteristic of mine I’m working on.

Anyway, the funny story is that after I made the transaction, this woman asked me about my nail polish (which was orangey-red at the time). She spoke no English, so what was already a dicey conversation became more difficult. I told her I like the colour, and me gusta romper las expectaciones del género (I like to break gender expectations), and why not? She probably asked if I’m gay too, so I told her, “Soy bi,” pronounced like “bee.” Maybe I said “Estoy bi” ? I don’t exactly remember. Hispanoblantes – help me out here. Do you use ser or estar when discussing sexual orientation? Because sexuality is fluid sometimes, but for most people most times, it is a staid and consistent identity. So which is preferred?

Regardless. That’s me. Being a tiny bit gender non-conforming & educating about queer issues wherever I am! Can’t stop / won’t stop.

The other amusing anecdote is more cringey than funny. After the walking tour, I’m on the hunt for a cold coffee, so I can actually accomplish stuff on the long bus ride. Plus, it helps with the heat, and you know how I love my iced americanos. So I pass this place which has a sign promoting their special – a croissant and a coffee for, I dunno, 40 pesos? A good price – comparable to the other places, but with a lil pastry thrown in. I needed a snack too, so it was perfect. I go in, and inquire if I can get it to go, and order an iced espresso with un poquitito de leche and a croissant to this woman. And then this man comes over, and he asks for my order too, so I repeat it. He describes the croissants with more detail, so I order one with cheese and pesto. Uhmm, yes please!

It takes much longer than expected, and I’m fretting because I don’t want to miss my bus, and then he comes out with this big box – the croissant sandwich and fries and the coffee to go. And a bill, for much more than the sign said. And that’s where the chagrin/humour comes in. Apparently he told me the special was just a regular croissant (which is what I wanted, cool) but offered the other, fancier, pricier sandwiches, and since my Spanish is imperfecto, I didn’t follow that it wasn’t included in the deal. Even the coffee was more expensive! Because apparently he gave me a double, when I didn’t ask for it. Ugh. Like the guy who tried to rip me off / overcharge me for the cold brew in Tulum when all I wanted was espresso over ice.

So this guy doesn’t speak English and won’t back down. I tell him to get his manager – who also is only monolingual – and for the entire ordeal, I’m really stressing out about all the time it’s taking. I even considered just leaving everything there, giving a couple coins for the little bit of coffee I drank, and peacing the F out, because my departure was looming and I still had to collect my stuff from the hostel and then hustle to the bus station. I wasn’t trying to get chased by the policia, though, so I opted not to sip & dash. The manager sided with me and just charged me for the coffee (which was still more than their sign said, but whatever, I’m not going to squabble about a buck or two), so I paid up, kinda enjoyed how she let me do that when the other employee was so upset (why so pressed, bro?), and get the heck outta dodge.

Actually ran into the two older Canadian guys at the bus station, too, serendipitously – Robin and his travel companion – then got a lil snack of empanadas from an adorable old lady on the side of the road, and another coffee, then boarded that bus. Watched Scream Queens and listened to a podcast and eventually got back to where I started: Cancun.

Checked into the same hostel, was happy to see my amigos who work there again (Daniel, Martin, that Canuck guy with the tattoos and his wife), dropped my bag off, and found dinner. Went to La Res Sabrosa, by recommendation of Daniel (and corroborated by TripAdvisor), and enjoyed a phenomenal alambre – which, as Wiki says, is “grilled beef topped with chopped bacon, bell peppers, onions, cheese, salsa and avocado.” Kinda like the orden I got on my first day in Mexico – a make-your-own taco platter. Delicious.

Then I picked up some canned cocktails from the 7/11 across Avenida Tulum, hopped on the R2, and went to the Zona Hotelera. I first went to Playa Tortugas, where the bungee jumping place is, and managed to get there in time to actually see somebody jump and inquire about the process, rates, experience, etc. They told me I could do it right then, but after the dinner I just had, I didn’t think it was the best idea. Plus, I wanted to do it during the daytime, so I could enjoy the panoramic view from atop the tower. And to be honest, I was cowed. So I reserved my spot for the following day. Oh, and they even offered me a discount before I opened my mouth to ask about it. Immediately knocked ten off the price, for only $50 US. Now that’s a deal!

For the rest of the night, I wandered around the Zona, sat on the beach, sipped my drinks, read my book, watched some of the debauchery at the biggest clubs there (Coco Bongo, La Vaqueria, Mandala), and eventually meandered back to the hostel, where I chatted with the other guests and sat on the outdoor patio and ate everything up. What a life.

 

Day 12: Cancun & Bungee Jumping & Isla Mujeres

I woke up especially excited for the day. I enjoyed the breakfast, sun-screened, psyched myself up, grabbed an iced coffee, caught the shuttle, and headed straight for Playa Tortugas again – before I lost my nerve. Marched right to the Adventure Bay kiosk, signed the waiver, paid the fee, and took a couple minutes to gather my thoughts. But after I came all this way and announced it on Facebook and Snapchat and made my mind up, there’s no way I was backing down.

So I climb up the steep wooden stairs, get 80 feet above the water, and really enjoy the view. It’s gorgeous. White sand beaches, turquoise waters, the sun is shining, I have spectators watching from the beach below. I convince the instructor the take some pictures of me with my own phone – probably against the rules, but whatever – then get the photographer to carry it down safely for me. Get strapped into the ankle harness, and it’s surprisingly weighty – but that’s reassuring. You’re not dealing with peanuts safety features, here. And believe you me, I did my research into the company before signing up. I’m not a total idiot.

Then I pose for more pictures with the official photographer, squinting in the sun, and then walk the plank. The instructor is there the whole time, so I’m not completely scared out of my wits. He already told me all about how the process would go, what I had to do, the proper poses, etc. So I was prepared, and not scared. My heart might have been beating pretty fast, but I felt remarkably cool-headed. I get to the precipice of the wooden platform, toes gripping the very edge, and gaze out upon everything. It was such a remarkable sight, absolutely gorgeous. Paradise, heaven on earth, everything.

I wave at the people watching 80 feet below, spread my arms as I’m supposed to, and that’s when my heart jumps to my throat. I get an immediate surge of total terror, my instincts telling me that this is super stupid – but I’m positive it’s safe, and I watched other people do it, and I know that if I overthink it, I’ll get in my head and be too pusillanimous to do it. So I push the fear out of my mind and fall forward with zero hesitation. Legitimately – I wasted no time. And was impressed with myself for doing that, when I’ve suffered acrophobia for most of my life.

And, literally in the blink of an eye, the initial fall is over. I remember at the last second to go into the dive position, I splash down in the Caribbean Sea, then rebound back up, bungeed afloat, and bounce around a couple times. It’s hard to gauge where in space I am, since all the brilliant colours are blurring together, there’s salt water in my eyes, and I’m moving fast. I catch glimpses of the boats in the marina, the wooden tower, the beach, the sky and horizon and ocean, and before you know it – I’m reaching out to grab the ring they held out, catch it, and am slowly towed back to terra firma.

When I’m on my back on the pier, I immediately use the bottom of my “Living Young, Wild, and Free” frat tank top (SUCH a bro) to wipe my eyes of the seawater that got in them – and apparently everybody thought I was crying and taking care of my tears. Nope, that is not what happened. I loved every second of the bungee jump, and was disappointed that it was over and done with so soon! I definitely want to experience it again, but next time from higher up. This one was only 70-80’ of a plummet, which seems like suicide when you’re standing on the brink – but it all passes by in such a hurry. So I can’t wait to do it again.

I was the first daredevil of the day, too – so that was quite the way to shake up my morning!

And then, after riding the afterglow for a while, marveling that I had the courage to do that – when I was all alone and had nobody there to cheer or encourage me – I bought my ticket to Isla Mujeres, boarded the ferry, and sailed the ocean blue. They even had live music on the boat, which was pretty cool – this guy playing the guitar and singing covers in Spanish. Neato mosquito.

For those of y’all who don’t know, Isla Mujeres is a very popular tourist destination in Mexico. Common for those that get to the country via cruise ship. It’s famous for its snorkeling and scuba diving around a coral reef of it. But it also features this underwater museum called Musa – in which sculptures were created and then sunken to the ocean floor, for people to see through goggles and with air tanks. Awesome stuff, especially with how the various flora + fauna cover these statues and kind of “reclaim” them. It was established in order to compete with the reef, since all the tourism it receives takes a toll on the health of the coral and plants. Such a shame for that to happen, so I love this initiative they thought of. Where else can you go see art underwater? Probably somewhere, I’m sure, but it’s not too common.

However, I didn’t do any of this. It was my last day in Mexico, so I didn’t want to take out tonnes of pesos to afford all these expeditions and risk having leftover currency. My big #yolo expense was the bungee jumping, something I’ve been wanting to try for years, and the tattoo, which I’ll discuss later. So instead, I wandered around the town section of Isla Mujeres, which reminded me of Hilo, Hawaii. A nice beach town, baked by the sun, with lots of kitschy shops and restaurants with outdoor patios and people lazily walking around.

I hit up Playa Norte, which was highly recommended by the travel sites, and plunkered myself down in the shade of a palm. Read my book, enjoyed the sights, breathed in the fresh air and luxuriated in the sea breeze. Eventually I stashed my stuff in a bush and went in search of this mini-reef I overheard some Americans discussing on the ferry over. Splashed along in the water with my goggles and Speedo, swam underneath this bridge that connected the glitzy hotel Mia Reef to the rest of the island, and found an aquamarine wonderland. There were rocks out where the waves reach the lagoon, kinda like a natural breakwater, and all around them were all these adorable fish. I floated near them, loved their flashy colours, and even spotted some turtles, swordfish, and a flippin’ barracuda! Fortunately I escaped with all my limbs and bodily integrity.

Then returned to my stuff, which luckily was all still there (in addition to my fingers and toes), laid down on the beach to dry off, then went in search of food. Stopped in a store to ask a local for recommendations, but they place he advised was nowhere to be found. So I strolled down the pedestrian roads, checking out all the menus, and wow, was everything overpriced. Which goes hand-in-hand with how touristy the area is. To be expected. I ended up at the place that looked the most authentic. It was small, literally ran out of the kitchen of somebody’s residence, the menu was nothing fancy, and there were (what appeared to be actual) Mexicans eating there too. Always a good sign when the locals patronize the same restaurant!

I had guacamole and a quesadilla, and it was all delicious. They had a serve-yourself salsa and salad bar, as well, so I capitalized upon that too. I wish I knew the name of the establishment, to recommend to you all, but I can’t even find it on Google Street View. Ah well.

Then back to the ferry station, but I apparently misread my ticket and had to kill another 45 minutes. No problem, though! More exploring, got an iced espresso, and sat watching the boats go in and out of the marina / reading “Truly Madly Guilty.”

Then boarded the board, was treated to more live music on the ~sunset cruise~ back to the mainland, and I even managed to get back when Adventure Bay / the bungee jumping place was still open! So I went straight for the photographer’s stand and tried my best to haggle them down. The prices they charge for their photos is nigh criminal. $35 for like 30 photos? Yeah, it’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

The lowest he would go was $25 for the photos and the video for it, when I only wanted to give a twenty. So I played hardball, and was just like, “Well, fine, no deal. It’s either you take this $20 and give it to me, or I walk away, you delete the photos and make no money. They’re worth nothing to you. Might as well make some more cash before you close for the night.” And no, that was not all in Spanish, because I don’t think I’m that skilled at my second language (just yet). But it worked! And now I’m the proud owner of some hi-res pictures AND the video of me defying death! Yay!

Satisfied, I returned to the hostel, showered off, researched tattoo parlours, then struck out on the hunt. The place that was best reviewed was unfortunately closed when I finally managed to find it – after serendipitously running into my Canadian pal Robin (from Merida) AND wandering through a city fair / block party – so I stopped in this trendy-looking menswear store that sold expensive Speedos, asking for another recommendation. It happened to be just around the corner, so I headed straight to Placer y Dolor (Pleasure and Pain). Met with the artist and tried my best to explain the idea in Spanish, which was not as easy as it sounds, despite how simple the design was going to be. He quotes me a price, but again, I’m playing aloof – and it works out again! He immediately drops it down to about $40 US, if I do it tonight.

So I tell him, great, I need to take some cash out though. And I wanted to walk around and mull it over for a bit, before submitting to being poked with a needle many times over in an LDC with somebody who I couldn’t communicate with that well. But, you know what, I read the reviews, it had numerous positive testimonies, and whatever, no biggie. So I did it! And I have no regrets! It was quick, cheap, not excruciating, and still looks good! Yay!

I got the outlines of two equilateral triangles pointing to each other on the outside of my left wrist, where my watch goes (and can cover it if I need to). So it resembles a basic, geometric hourglass – but the upside-down triangle stands for queer pride as well, and the right-side up one represents delta, for change. And incidentally, the two of them together also mean fire and water, or balance / duality / etc – but that was just an extra +1, not the reason I went for that design. And now it’s tattoo #7! To tie up with my body piercings! (3 in each ear and 1 nipple)

Finally, with my ultimate night in Meh-hee-ko, I got some more cheap-ass tacos al pastor along Avenida Tulum, at the place the Kiwi Couple recommended way back when, then sat on the patio with the hostel workers / guests, and soaked in the lovely balmy night air one more time.

 

Day 13 & 14 & 15: Cancun + Montreal + Ottawa

Wake up, last hostel breakfast, grabbed my stuff, got a final iced americano, schlepped to the ADO station, got to hang out in the air-conditioned premium lounge reading about Drag Race, listen to the Brain Candy Podcast en route the airport, then only have about a half hour to wait at the gate (since it took me an unexpected while to check in at the counters, Dios knows why, I had only a carry-on). Have my layover in Philly, take my time walking through all the terminals looking for lunch, finally settle on an iced coffee and bagel from Au Bon Pain, the cashier says she thinks my conch piercing is cute and I’m adorable, aw thanks girl, then jetset to Montreal.

It takes forever going through customs, but eventually I make it through, hop on the shuttle to downtown, meet beautiful KyKy at Ganadara, grab the key, and finally relax when I get to his place. He surprises me a half hour later, as I’m sitting in just my underwear on the couch, resting before I got the energy up to shower – but he brought food from the restaurant! Awwww what a darling! ❤

Crash soon after, despite my intentions to go for a walk and experiencing the city that still feels like the most like home to me. Sleep like a log, wander round the city, indulge in another decadent but delicious poutine from Dirty Dogs, do some sightseeing, meet up with Ky & Mike MF Chan at Brutopia for a 5a7, love the raspberry beer, bus to the Mile End and hang out with Bren “G-Frog” Prouse for a lil while, play some Sm4sh, then metro to Atwater Forum to meet Ouliana to finally see Get Out (since Ottawa is severely lacking cinemas in its central core). We stroll back along Ste-Catherine afterward, get a quick bite from Burger King (I clearly was #cleaneating during these couple days), and plan how we’ll move her to Toronto during June. Well, guess what, that’s happening tomorrow! Believe it, squirrelfriend!

With my last day, more aimless walking around, get a banh mi with Melody (who out of nowhere gives me free nail polish – WOW thanks so much, the white paint is exactly what I wanted!) at the perennial Vua, grab coffee with Torchic, then get my rideshare back to lovely ol’ Ottawa. And the rest is history: the post-travel blues and unemployed doldrums and not loving my life situation, especially after how spectacular Mexico was.

 

—

 

And that’s that! The remainder of my travel blogging about Mexico. Who knows when the next exotic trip abroad will be? Not until November at the earliest, since that is when my casual contract with the Treasury Board ends.

Bi the gay, I had my first day on the job today – which I’ll discuss in more detail later – but a quick summary:

Everyone was very friendly, all the documents I was given to read (a huge amount) interest me, I have a nice private office/cubicle, it’s not hellishly open-concept, I met my colleagues and my boss’s boss, received uplifting and flattering advice from my supervisor, got the security badge to enter the buildings and my own laptop and email and login info etc and feel so legit about the whole thing. And ironically, the dream I had right before waking up at 7:30 this morning included my previous boss assaulting me and me feeling powerless to change it, but still giving an impassioned and affecting speech about it to the crowd gathered there. Hm, how telling is that, huh?

I now work Monday-Friday from 8:30-4:30, and it’s not micro-managey, and I don’t feel defeated or even that daunted by anything. I’m absurdly excited about it. Can’t wait to truly sink my teeth into this Diversity & Inclusion Task Force work! Yay!

 

Ciao for now. I’m off to gym, shower, and then head to Ernie’s for the RPDR Season 9 Finale with frands! Sickening!

 

Love y’all,

 

– Jefe

EXCITING JOB NEWS (I’m Finally Starting !!), Hard Introspection, Powerlifting, Outreach, & Other Details about My Lovely Life

Hello!

 

It’s 7:30 on a humid Saturday evening, and I have plans at 9. This is probably a really bad time to start a blog entry, but that’s k, ‘cause “the longest journey starts with a single step.” (How’s that for an overwrought opening?)

I slept in once again today and took my time waking up while reading about the new season of The Challenge XXX Dirty Thirty. Veronica’s return! Tori Deal is finally debuting! And filming just wrapped a couple days ago, but the premiere is gonna be July 18^th! What!

Literally, finding out about that quick turnaround and impending premiere was the sole piece of good news I got last weekend. I had an uncomfortable phone call with a friend, which inspired lots of introspection and self-reflection and second-guessing myself afterward. Which isn’t great for me, since my self-esteem has already been lower than normal, on account of my being unemployed and uninvolved and “Wasting My Young Years” (by London Grammar) for the past 2.5+ months. I already struggle with being sure of myself, and although I come across as supremely confident and even uber-cocky sometimes, it’s an act. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? And that’s what I do in some social situations, especially in large groups when I don’t know anybody.

It was a malignant conversation, though. It came from a place of concern, like tough love / hard truths. And I appreciate it, and also that my dear friend had the cojones to bring it up to me. Because it was not a fun phone call, by any means. But still important to have, and it has helped me see some of the error(s) in my ways and desire to try harder / do better. No pain, no gain right? You gotta struggle to get that success. And that’s where I am right now.

Reading the entirety of Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” in a 24-hour period this past week also aided me in coming to terms with this rough talk I had with a close pal. Pain – be it physical or psychological – is helpful and necessary because it tells you that something is amiss or in need of amelioration. And if my amig@ didn’t bring up what they did, then I would continue comporting myself in a less-than-spectacular fashion. So I’m grateful for it, even if it hurt in the short term.

Funnily enough, in the week following this strained convo, it became clear that not one but two (other) people that I respect and like and get along with were upset by a snarky comment I made in a group setting. Of course, I meant no harm or malice by it, but the result was the same – I was too cavalier and they didn’t like what I said. So I felt bad, was contrite, and apologized to them. Several missteps along my path, certainly – but the important part is that I take it seriously, don’t let the criticism destroy me, understand it for what it is (somebody who cares about me bringing up a behaviour people have found troublesome, out of concern for my success in future relationships), make some changes, and keep on truckin’. So that’s me. Flawed, certainly, but working on it. Nobody’s perfect, and I’m still young and have some growing up to do / stuff to learn.

Anyhow.

Another annoyance for me this past week/end was how the security clearance was continuing to take a while. I know things in government take time, and it’s all part of the bureaucratic beauty of it, and it’ll be worth the wait ultimately – but dang it, I’m growing impatient! I want to start working and am eager to learn about what all is going on with the Diversity & Inclusion Task Force and am so ready to begin! I finally got the record check back from the UK, last Wednesday, and I immediately rushed over to the TBS building to hand it off to Dyllan, the administrative assistant who has been helping me with the paperwork throughout this process. The document ended up taking nine days, when their site said it would take two working days (minus the days of receipt and dispatch) if you paid the extra $70… Which I did. Aggravating.

And that wasn’t the last step in the process either, as I expected / was hoping. I had to wait until Monday for more progress, which manifested as an invitation to a security clearance interview on Thursday afternoon, to obtain clarification about some “discovered information” that arose during the rest of the process. I asked my friends who are in the know about this, to get their input / advice, and none of them understood why I had to go through with that, since I’m only going for the most basic level of security clearance. So I fretted about this all week, but also knew that worrying wouldn’t help anything, and what happens, happens. I went into the interview with my head held high and hoping for the best. Again: fake it ‘til you make it.

Turns out all my apprehension was for naught. The questions they asked me were the ones you’d expect in such a tête-à-tête – if I’ve ever been arrested, where I’ve traveled in the past five years, my citizenships, why I decided to move to Scotland, my work history, etc. It was pretty gayforward, and the woman said she would write up a report to be submitted to her supervisor for their approval, and I’d likely hear back by Wednesday. Cool. More time to wait / be patient / worry that this job ain’t a slam dunk after all (because if this doesn’t work out, then what will I do?!?!) – but the bright side is that it is a step forward. Another hurdle jumped and getting closer to the finish line. So, I’ll take it!

Then the next day, I was just doin’ my thang, listening to new music (Todrick Hall, Halsey, Alaska Thunderf*ck 5000) while power-lifting at the gym (I hit 310lbs on the leg press while doing 3 sets of 10 reps, and moved up to 175lbs on the back squat, 3 sets of 6 reps), and, lo and behold…

I got an email!

From Dyllan!

The day after the interview, and not this coming Thursday, like I expected!

And he told me that MY SECURITY CLEARANCE HAS BEEN VALIDATED!

And I start work next Friday !

And will find out more details / get my letter of offer on Monday or Tuesday! (And would begin earlier, but my boss is away for the most of the week)

 

So, like Etta James says, “At last!”

It really looks like I’ll finally get back on that employment horse by the end of the week, and I’m really looking forward to it. I know I’m going to miss my slow, idle days – waking up late, doing crosswords on the balcony, taking leisurely bike rides, watching TV until 3am, the works – but I’m very excited about working again. It’ll feel good to earn some money, accomplish something every day, learn new things, become a better, more capable person, and feel like I’m making something of my life. It’s definitely going to be a sharp learning curve and a rough adjustment period – getting re-accustomed to devoting so many consecutive hours towards work tingz and waking up early and preparing lunches for the week and dressing professionally – but I can’t live a lazy, unattached existence forever. So, bring it on. I’m ready. Switch-up!

The 90 days of my casual contract will take me until late October / early November, so I suppose my big trip Down Under before my 26^th birthday will have to change a bit. Alas. No big deal, though, because I am very happy and grateful that this opportunity is finally going to happen. It’s been about three months since I finished at the CCGSD, and all that freedom has been too much of a good thing. Plus, a government gig is the golden ticket here in Ottawa. Not sure if I’ve said that so far, but it really is what many people clamour for. It offers job security, dependability, benefits, a good salary, and work that you know makes a difference. And while mine might just be a temporary position for now, I’ve heard from numerous people that if your superiors like you, then they will find a way to keep you / bring you on for a longer-term post. That’s what I plan to do, to leave a good impression and do an exemplary job and make myself valuable so I can continue fighting the good fight. And even if that doesn’t happen, despite my best efforts – then I’m already internal to government, and thus more able to land other contracts with greater ease.

All that means that it finally seems that Ottawa is my permanent home now. And with a reliable job commencing very soon, I can stop living in this state of arrested development. That is, jumping from place to place without signing a lease, not accruing furniture, functioning with the little stuff I have here in the city (and not all that’s back in Nova Scotia), etc, etc. The place I’m in now is only a sublet for the summer, so come September, I’ll be moving again. So that gives me time to feel out this new gig and decide how much I want to set aside for rent. And then maybe I can move into an unfurnished place, take my stuff + furniture from the Nova Scotia house, sign a year-long lease, and live my best life. Hang the Dali prints on the walls, get my board game collection into the city, and make a home for myself. And I might even opt to live solo, which to me seems like a move into adulthood. We’ll see, though. The prospect is exciting to me. Now I can finally gaze into the future, do some daydreaming, wonder what life will be like in the coming months and years.

 

—

 

So there’s that. Obviously a great piece of news to receive, and it started my weekend off with a bang. Then I went to Tim Jolly’s place to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and play some games, and that was fun as always. The previous Friday, I watched it with Colin & Riyadh at their friend’s place, and also enjoyed that. I then headed to Frayme’s Housewarming Party, where we played Werewolves! My favourite! And yesterday, I checked out the Club Day for the Ottawa Wolves, which is our local inclusive rugby team, which various friends of mine play for (Miguel, Vanessa, Jackson, Owen, Matt, Chris, Tyler, Nich). It was my first time seeing rugby played, and it was actually fun to watch. Like more hardcore football with fewer rules. Good stuff. Seems like a great release and workout, and it definitely piqued my interest and a desire to try it out. But then I remember how Nich broke his collarbone and Matt torqued his leg and Vanessa has a bad concussion and Daniel Prinn fractured his arm, and I look at the huge dudes that are on the team, and I decide that it probably isn’t the sport for me.

However! I do want to get more athletically involved, and keep up with this new fitness kick I’m on (with weightlifting, yoga, and cycling) – so maybe I’ll go out for the Gay Ottawa Volleyball league, or challenge some people to squash, or look more into that community Quidditch team, or hit up one of Ottawa’s three (!!) rock-climbing gyms. Summer gives me more energy, and I want to capitalize upon that while I still have the wherewithal.

And then last night, I met up with David MacMillan at the AIDS Committee, who trained me to be part of SPOT (Safer Partying Outreach Team) and taught me all about HIV 101 and the ACO’s values and history and harm-reduction techniques. Then the two of us went and performed outreach for safer consumption & sexual health at Sashay, which is billed as the “Largest LGBT Party” in Ottawa. It was at Barrymoore’s, this huge converted theatre, and tickets go for $25 a pop. There were go-go dancers and drag queens and coloured spotlights and bumpin’ house music. Seemed like a pretty commonplace club night to me, so I was surprised entry was so pricy – but I suppose living in Montreal for six years spoiled me, because it’s some of the best Ottawa has to offer. Such a shame.

Regardless, I still had a fun time. I ran into a lot of people I knew, including some I haven’t seen in forever – so it was great to catch up with them. I got to check out the Queer Mafia event too, which was right next door at Babylon, so I saw the inside of another venue as well. And strolled through Glowfair, a block party on Bank Street that they had this past Friday & Saturday. And hung out with David M, got to know him more, learned a thing or two, and enjoyed biking through the humid night air. If I didn’t do all that, what else would I have gotten up to on a Saturday night? Watching old seasons of RPDR? That’s exactly right (I recently started season six and am loving it), but that’s also hella boring. Better to get out, hit the town, check out the scene, and do something new that I can add to my resume. And it turned out to be quite the good time, actually!

 

What else have I been up to? Regularly hanging out and chatting with my roommate, Gilmour (as Bailey is still in Sudbury). Hosting trivia each Monday, and still loving that. Board games, naturally. Pandemic Legacy mostly each week with the Lads (Colum, Dean, Luke), and other games other times. I recently met/befriended Matt & Chris, and we played Dominion with the Adventures expansion – one I’ve been wanting to try but didn’t have the chance to. So I really loved that (and won pretty handily, too, no T no shade). Also tried out some of the variations from the Catan Traders & Barbarians expansion last week, with Miguel, Owen, & Nick. Yoga on Thursdays, with Robert, Francois, Denis, Joa, & David/Imad/Coady (the volunteers). I met Julia’s boyfriend Ben recently too, and we really hit it off well. And played some memorable games of Sm4sh – you know how I relish that. Seeing other friends for coffees and catch-ups. Working out. And I suppose, enjoying the lovely weather and spending time outside and keeping myself busy so I don’t get too melancholy. I biked to Hog’s Back Falls one day (as the featured photo shows) and through Gatineau just yesterday (as pictured on my Insta). I’m really liking Ottawa much more, now that everything is in bloom and people are out and about and it’s no longer frigid. So that’s something to be grateful about.

 

—

 

Aaaaannnddd, I’m gonna wrap it up here. I still want to finish chronicling my trip to Mexico, but that’s nearly finished. Have to discuss my last morning in Merida, Isla Mujeres, bungee-jumping, and two evenings in Cancun. It won’t take long – but I’ll get to it another time.

 

One final thing. I have not heard more back about the reality TV show, but I still legitimately believe that I would be an amazing character for such a program. Unique, outspoken, strong opinions, big personality, fun/goofy/silly, extroverted, singular, a fan of having a great time, ambitious, intelligent, a bit vulnerable/insecure, magnetic. Multifaceted.

So maybe it’ll still work out – crazier things have happened – but as of now, I’m super pleased to have an exciting job starting soon. And in the grand scheme of things, that’s much more important, better for my future, a smarter choice. So, I’ll take it!

 

‘Til next time, y’all. Hope you enjoyed this less intensive update.

Take care now ❤

 

– Jefe

Job Update, My Summer Sublet, Tulum, Coba Ruins, Valladolid, Cenote-Swimming, Cliff-Jumping, Travel Buddies, & Modeling Underwear for Charity

Good afternoon,

 

It is roughly 3:30 on the last day of May, and I am sitting on the large balcony of my new apartment, enjoying the sun and a nice breeze.

As for the job, I’m still waiting for paperwork to come through before anything moves (further) forward. Because I spent more than six consecutive months outside of Canada in the past five years – while pursuing my MSc in Glasgow – I had to order a records check from the UK as part of the security clearance process. On my own dime. Totally fair, I know – but it costs $160 Canadian for the expedited process and required a bunch of documents I didn’t readily have, including all my addresses for the past ten years. All just for a piece of paper that attests that no, I did not get arrested or charged with anything while living in Scotland. Whatever, you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette.

So I submitted my application for that last Thursday night, and since I paid $70 more, it’s supposed to take two working days (“not including the days of receipt or dispatch”). I opted for that because my position should start sooner rather than later; it’s a bit time-sensitive since it’s a Task Force with a lot of work to be done, not many people, and a deadline come September. That’s also what the hiring manager recommended and squares with what Michael said too, and so I obliged. I expected it to be finished Monday or Tuesday, but my new roomie checked the mailbox yesterday – and nothing yet. So hopefully something arrives today, because if not, I’m going to be really aggravated that I sprang for the “Premium Service” and it takes longer than advertised. So we’ll see, fingers crossed.

Once that is in, though – I feel like everything else will fall into place. I got fingerprinted last Thursday and also peeped some correspondence between various people within the department, all discussing and planning how to bring me on board. It was reassuring to read, definitely, that people I haven’t even met are striving to get me started in this position. They even had a tentative job title for me, “Junior Program Officer.” Again, nothing is yet guaranteed. I haven’t signed any contracts or even received a letter of offer. So it is all very exciting, certainly – but I am not getting my hopes up. That’s my kryptonite, if I haven’t said it already. Getting excited about something / having high expectations that almost nothing can reach, and then inevitably being disappointed / let down. It happens so often, so I have learned to “Lower your expectations!” (like the Amy Poehler gif) and be more realistic (pessimistic).

So there’s that. Oh, one last thing. From this e-correspondence I also gleaned that my (tentative) dates of working would be June 5^th to October 12^th. That’s the 90 days you’re eligible to work under a casual contract. And it would be perfect. Starting next Monday – so I actually have stuff going on, a way to feel accomplished, and will be advancing towards my goals – and it would be ending exactly a week before my 26^th birthday.

Which means, by that point, I would have earned all this money and would have no further commitment. So my plan is: work hard, do a great job, save up, and then take a big trip somewhere. To celebrate my birthday, reward myself after my first governmental gig, indulge that wanderlust, and hit country #30 while I’m still 25! And I even want to cross the last habitable continent off my list, so some exploration of Oceania and Southeast Asia is what I’m leaning towards most.

However – you (should) know how I am about decision-making. I hesitate to book those tickets because I have no idea what life will look like come mid-October. And from what I have heard / according to what my gut says, the field of Diversity & Inclusion is going to be “exploding” in importance this year. And I don’t want to have a 3 or 4-week international trip planned and paid for, if that would make me miss out on exciting and lucrative opportunities. One shouldn’t be unavailable for such a long time when they are just starting their careers, especially if the industry is going to be booming during their absence. SO I don’t know. But it would be really nice to do some more traveling, since Mexico was so phenomenal. Same with the Netherlands, Italy, Spain, and Portugal. Bremen, Germany was wonderful and I enjoyed Oslo too, but they weren’t stand-out recent destinations – the former because I didn’t have enough time in Deutschland and the latter because it was a bit too pricey for me, and I had less than 24 hours to explore. Anyway.

So, if I am starting my job this coming Monday, I will have much more going on in my headspace and life, and I do expect that reading, blogging, and journaling will fall by the wayside once again. So I want to finish writing up about my Yucatan adventure before that happens.

But before I continue that, I’ll tell y’all a bit about my new living sitch.

As I’ve mentioned before, I grew sick of my old apartment, on Nepean St. So I found this great place to sublet for the summer, on Sweetland Avenue, in the heart of Sandy Hill – which is the student area of the city, right near UOttawa. And this street is apparently a protected historical/heritage district, so there’s no big apartment buildings along it – but rather nice homes from the early 1900s, including the one I’m currently inhabiting.

My new roommates – Gilmour & Bailey – and I get along great, and I actually speak with them on a daily basis. The fact that there are common areas to spend time in probably facilitates that, but also, we are much closer together in age and have more in common than my previous flatmate. We might even be having a party this weekend! Which I’m absurdly excited about, because I am the one that always has / hosts social events.  In Glasgow it was Werewolves games and scary movie nights and dinner parties and actual shindigs, and in Montreal it was pre’s and more horror flicks with drinking rules and more game nights. But since I got to Ottawa. NO-THING (minus a couple people over for Smash Bros), because, what were we gonna do, hang out in my bedroom and keep the noise down? No thanks. But now that there’s a living room and big kitchen and great balcony – I want to capitalize upon that. And maybe I’ll become the central cog in a social circle again, because I realized recently that my typical role is suspiciously lacking these days. I’m excited about it.

I spend a lot of time out on the deck, reading and doing crosswords and enjoying the nice weather Ottawa’s been having recently. And I don’t have to worry about making too much noise later at night, and I can cook whenever I want to, and the freezer actually freezes things, and the Internet isn’t erratic AF. I’m very happy here. Not looking forward to moving away from here – but fortunately I don’t have to worry about that for a while yet.

 

—

 

Okay, back to Mexico. Where was I?

 

The Rest of Day 6: Tulum

I wandered more around Tulum after my delightful meal at Tropi-Q. Stopped in a place called Art+Coffee for – you guessed it – an iced americano. The guy tried to give me cold brew and upsell/overcharge me for it, but NAH BRAH, that’s not what I asked for.

I enjoyed that, perused the Internet, and strolled back to the hostel. Got into my swim stuff, dropped by a corner store for some brews, then hopped on a collectivo towards the beach! Walked along the side of the road away from all the resorts before finally arriving at Playa del Paraíso. Stripped off my shirt and shoes and ambled all the way up the beach, to catch a glimpse of the famous Tulum Ruins. It looked like you could swim to the little beach the archeological site offers, but it was nearly dusk, I had my Sol beers, and I didn’t feel like getting incarcerated by the guards for attempted trespassing. So instead, I snapped some selfies, got a kind stranger to take some other photos of me for my gratuitous shirtless Instagram posts, and settled onto the sand, leaning against a fallen tree. Cracked open the foamers, booted up my Kindle, and read more of Ellen Hopkins’ “The You I’ve Never Known” while absolutely adoring my existence at the time. I was so jubilant! The temperature was perfect, there was nearly nobody else to share the shore with (minus a few people, including two women I saw kissing – which also made me smile, because yay, queer kin!), and I was a bit tipsy off the two cans I brought with me. The beer wasn’t even that good – it had lime and salt (flavour?) added to it. I could’ve done without the extra sodium.

But anyway, that didn’t detract from anything. I was supremely happy, the book was enrapturing, and I was LIVING. FOR. IT. Eventually I couldn’t keep my elation contained any longer, so I stowed the e-reader away, dashed into the waves, and went gamboling about the surf. It was momentous. Stripped-down, simple joy.

Sunset was swiftly approaching, so I couldn’t spend too long at the shore, since it would take a while to return to the town section of Tulum. Too soon, I packed up my tingz and started walking back along the coast, then along the road, to the main drag between the beach and central parts of Tulum. Lost my shirt in the process, somehow, and had no hope of catching a collectivo – they were not as common as in Cancun, unfortunately (and unsurprisingly).

It was a long stroll back, that I didn’t particularly feel like doing – so, whatever, YOLO. I stuck my arm out, thumb out, trying to hitch a ride. If it happened, it happened, and if not – well, I had music and podcasts to keep me company on the 40-minute walk back to the Chill Inn Hostel, and a no-quitting attitude.

But it did work out, and only after a minute or two! I was very pleasantly surprised! A nice French couple – from Nice, of course, hence my adjectival use – picked me up, worried that it wasn’t safe to walk along this particular stretch of the road at night. We chatted trilingually for the short trip, in franglaispañol, and it even happened to be a symbiotic lil relationship we had. I was able to help them locate their hostel, Hostal Sheck, since it was one of the ones I was considering for my accommodations, and I just happened to pass it during my earlier wanderings. So, how about that? What goes around comes around. And it felt good to pay them back for their kindness 🙂

Finally, I returned to my own inn, showered off the sand and sea, and googled a good place for dinner. That ended up being La Malquerida, where I had a small table outdoors, right off the pedestrian street – which was perfect for the live music and acrobatics that later started to happen! I had a traditional Mayan dish of fresh-caught fish baked with tomatoes and peppers, served with rice, tortillas, and a salad. Sadly, I forget the name of the meal (that’s what happens when you’re recording all these memories a month and a half later), but I do recommend it. Check my album on Facebook for a photo of it!

 

Day 7: Coba & Tulum

Tulum is well-known for the Mayan ruins it has nearby, which are absurdly picturesque and popular with tourists. If you’ve ever seen an ad for the Mayan Riviera, there’s a very good chance it had a photo showcasing the Tulum Ruins, since it is such a mystical, magical sight. (Indeed, I just google-image-searched that phrase, and I was vindicated)

However, despite all that pulchritude, I decided not to go. The sun is no joke on the Yucatan Peninsula, and the trees (and thus shade) are few and far between at this archeological site. That, plus how crowded it would’ve been, due to its renown, plus its higher price of admission, led me to opt for the Coba Ruins instead. They’re only an hour away by bus, less well-known, and consequently cheaper and less overcrowded by turistas.

Moreover, the best feature about them over those in Tulum is how they are situated in the jungle (so, more opportunities to cool down and less risk of sunstroke), and you can climb the actual pyramid!! You used to be able to do that at Chichen Itza, but they shut that down several years ago. For sure it was hastening the erosion of these World Wonders, and it can definitely be hazardous. The pyramid I mounted had steep stairs, worn down by history and humans, and it was a bit of a perilous ascent. They had a thick rope to assist with going up and down, but even so, I kind of crab-walked when I was descending, on all fours. Wasn’t trynna to take a tumble and screw up the rest of my “trip.” (There’s another pun for ya)

It was quite the unique experience to be on top of such an ancient structure, and I definitely recommend checking it out. The views were wonderful, of course – green all around – and being so high gave you access to a great breeze, to help dry off the sweat that climbing up invited.

The rest of the site was pretty cool, too. Was kinda like Tomb Raider, with all these ruined pyramids / Mayan ball courts / other buildings emerging out of the jungle, covered in vines and with an “undiscovered” feel to them. They also had various “stelae,” which – to my understanding – are large carved stone tablets that recorded legends, or stories, or histories, or something? In any case, they were interesting to see as well.

There isn’t too much I can say about the ruins, as I didn’t have a guide to teach me about them – neither the book nor human version of that. So I enjoyed wandering around it, and that’s that.

Like the collectivos in Tulum, there weren’t many buses commuting to and from Coba either. I tried hitch-hiking again, since I had such luck with it the previous night, but no dice this time. The cost for a cab ride was prohibitive, and #DumpUber, so I bought a bus ticket then went about killing time. There are apparently some magnificent cenotes near the Coba Ruins, but unfortunately I did not have the time to go check them out. Sad! If y’all are going to be in the area and plan on hitting up Coba, you should definitely consider renting a car – maybe with some friends you meet at the hostel. That would greatly facilitate this lil day trip, and then you could spend all the time you wanted at those beautiful sinkholes.

However, I did not try this tactic. So instead, I strolled around, looking for a bite to eat. Settled down at another outdoor table and ordered an iced coffee and “stuffed avocado.” It came with tuna salad, peas, corn, and lettuce. I took a pic but it was not a photogenic meal. But still affordable, yummy, and healthy. Then wandered back to the bus stop, read more of my book, and awaited the damn ADO in the hot, hot heat. Like those in Spain, these buses played random shows/movies with the volume turned up disconcertingly high, and they were in Spanish, of course. On the way in, it was Sleeping Beauty – so I had “Once Upon a Dream” stuck in my head all day – and on the way back it was some sad, darkly-hued film about a woman’s child literally disappearing/dissolving, and then she walks up to this wild lion, that is in this random marina for some reason, because she is so distraught. Like, what ???? Quite odd, that was. So I took a lil siesta instead.

Finally got back to Tulum, booked my bus ticket to Valladolid for the next day, and returned to the hostel to decompress a bit. Chatted with the friends I made – Kirsten and Fritzi – and started planning where to go for dinner.

Then I hopped in another collectivo en route to La Eufemía, a hipster hangout highly recommended by the hostel workers. And, wouldn’t you know it, as I hop out of the minibus, I hear somebody call my name! What! How small is this world! It was Serina & Chelsea, the two Saskatchewan-ers I met back in Playa del Carmen! I knew they were in Tulum as well, but for our paths to cross like that… Wow. They had just been at the same place, too, which made me feel good about my choice.

It’s this small taquería right on the beach, with mattresses to lie on, lounge chairs, a couple hammocks, bumpin’ music, and good food and drink. I went for a quick dip to rinse/cool off, only to find out that there was seaweed everywhere. This wasn’t an issue the previous night, at Playa del Paraíso, but maybe the establishment/tourism board has to remove it themselves? And since La Eufemía was such a hippie place, they wouldn’t do such a thing, disrupting nature like that. That’s the conclusion I came to, anyway. So I’m not sure if going for a short swim actually made me any cleaner, but it did feel good to not be overheated anymore.

It was Happy Hour when I was there, too! So I had two mango margaritas (with a spicy/salty rim) and a bunch of tacos. It all was quite enjoyable, but it might’ve been the most expensive meal I had on my trip, at more than 200 pesos. But whatever, do I care? How often do I get to sit, eat authentic tacos with fresh seafood, sip on a strong cocktail, and enjoy such a priceless view? The answer is: not often enough! So I was happy to pay it. Then I stretched out on one of their beach chairs, read my book, people-watched, and witnessed day transition to night. Superb.

When I finally left the place, I once again had a miraculous / lucky return to Tulum town. I somehow managed to catch the last collectivo for the night, with only a minute to spare from when I walked out of La Eufemía to when I hopped on. I don’t know what it was about those couple days, but the stars were definitely aligned in my favour. (Or maybe it was cosmic recompensation for being so lost for my first couple hours in Tulum, who knows?)

Then: back to Chill Inn, shower off, lotion up (I was still sunburnt and peeling), and wander around more. I visited Serina & Chelsea at their hostel, the Weary Traveler. Which was definitely a hoppin’ place, and maybe I should’ve stayed there instead. Ah well, hindsight is 20/20, and it’s not like the Chill Inn was horrendous. But theirs had a free cocktail hour, live music, many more people, a pool, hammocks, etc, etc… So if you’re going, look into that.

We hung out a while, I grew jealous of their digs, then Serina & I went walking around a bit. She bought some instant noodles – fideos, a word it took me a while to remember – and then we parted, sadly. Haven’t seen her since 😦 Miss ya, girl!

I then went to a hole-in-the-wall I read about, that had dirt-cheap food. It was either four tacos al pastor or guacamole for 80 pesos, so I went for the latter, since I had had plenty of the former theretofore. It was delicious, certainly. Just wish I would’ve had enough coin to go for both! I sat at the plastic table on the sidewalk, wrote in my journal, then had two random men next to me start speaking to me in Russian. Um, excuse me? Do I look like a Muscovite? Not exactly. Funny nonetheless. They asked for my recommendations for what to do in town, and were telling me about this amazing thing they heard about. I got excited – because maybe I could rise early the next day to check it out?! – but it turned out to just be the cenotes in the area. Disappointing.

I moved onto a street cart after that, with the 70 pesos I had left on me, and asked the lady working it what I could get for that. She made me a yummy torta con pollo – like a grilled chicken sandwich, with two mini sachets of red and green salsa to accompany it – and I went back to my hostel, enjoyed my snack, and watched Scream Queens. A great way to end the night.

 

Day 8: Tulum & Valladolid

I woke up, chatted with some hostel-mates over the delightful free breakfast they served (a cute yogurt + fruit + granola, and the previous morning’s was a delicious savoury crepe with cheese and mushrooms), packed my things, and made off for greener pastures.

I went to Café Ki’bok, which was another establishment recommended on TripAdvisor. Had an amazing iced americano and used their outstanding WiFi to torrent the new episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race and The Challenge. It was, no joke, six times faster than what I had at Garry’s place. And this was in a small coffee shop in a little town in Mexico, so….. (frog emoji) (tea emoji)

Then I returned to the taquería that helped me out so much on my first day and devoured like 8 yummy tacos. They were all cheaper than 20 pesos each, with some interesting fillings like potato&chorizo, eggs&chaya (like a Mexican kale), and the usuals like chicharrón and salchicha. It’s called El Canaston, and you need to patronize it when you’re in Tulum. Cheap, delicious, environmentally-friendly, and run by darling people.

Then to the bus station, then on board, finished my book, listened to Sam Smith, and eventually got to Valladolid. Struggled through the sweltering heat with all my stuff and found my hostel, Tunich Naj. It wasn’t my first choice: everybody recommended Hostal La Candelería, which is where Kirsten & Fritzi were staying, but it was all booked up when I went to reserve a room. Oh well. I only spent one night there.

Valladolid is inland, so there’s no sea breeze to help keep things cool. Same with Merida. So this part of my trip was especially moist. Fortunately, there is a phenomenal cenote right in the middle of the city, which happened to be a short five-block walk from my hostel! So I unpacked, changed into my trusty Speedo, and made a beeline straight there, after getting sweaty in the process of lugging my backpack around.

It’s called Cenote Zací, and it was my favourite one of the trip. Also the biggest, the most spectacular, the least crowded, and the cheapest – an absolute steal at 30 pesos. So you need to make that happen, if you’re in town. And, continuing the trend of it being a small world or my luck coming through in these couple days – as I’m walking down to the sinkhole, I run into Kirsten & Fritzi! I suppose Valladolid is a smaller town without all that much to do, but still, it’s quite something that I had these serendipitous meet-ups during my trip. That’s the magic of travel.

And I’m even happier they were there, because their presence (and Kirsten’s accompanying me) gave me the nerve to jump off a cliff into the water! Cenotes are hella deep, so there’s no risk of hitting the bottom – but still, it was quite the distance to fall before smacking the surface. Maybe 25 feet? And naturally, it looks a lot higher when you’re actually up there, about to “take the plunge,” than from afar. Both K and I did it, and Fritzi was nice enough to take photos and record it, and oh WOW was it thrilling. It was a bit painful, hitting the water from such a height – and my arms were reddened from the impact – but wow, there’s nothing like that adrenaline rush. I ended up jumping off three different times, and it was a hell of a time. The girls were telling me others leapt into the water from even higher – from atop this tree on the outside of the cavern – but NOPE, forget that. It would involve climbing the tree, jumping out instead of just down, and avoiding the rope at the bottom. Who am I, Brendan Prouse? No thanks, I’ll pass. “Challenge by choice,” right Emily?

I really enjoyed swimming around and cooling off. It was a stupendous place to spend a sweltering afternoon, being in awe of these natural wonders, and watching the light shift over the cave’s walls. I encouraged others to cliff-jump too, and clapped when they surfaced after. Some of these were a group of Italian girls, one of whom later asked me about my nipple piercing, if it hurt, as she was gonna get hers done soon. I’m always glad to be a source of information, and it’s a surprisingly common question I get – but this usually comes from people I know, and not total strangers. Pretty funny, though. I guess I look approachable enough?

When the cenote closed for the day, I went back to my hostel, showered, changed, and struck out for dinner. The receptionist told me about this place, La Selva (the forest), which corresponded with TripAdvisor’s recommendations. When I walked in, though, there was nobody else there – which is never a good sign when you’re looking for a restaurant. I wasn’t cowed, though (and was also famished), and it turned out well after all. I ordered essentially one of everything from their menu, since the prices were that good (20-30 pesos). I got a cheese empanada, a meat one, a salbut, chalupa, sope, tostada, and one other thing, and oh wow, it was delicious. I used a bit too much habanero sauce on these, so I was perspiring from the heat, but everything was yummy. Lots of deep-fried goodness.

Then wandered ‘round the city, picked up some canned cocktails from a neighbourhood grocer, sat in the main plaza (Parque Francisco Canton) and started a new book – this time Liane Moriarty’s “Truly Madly Guilty” – while sipping on a margarita and gazing at the city’s cathedral, all illuminated. Then walked to the Convento de San Bernadino, an old nunnery, which had a light show projected onto it, detailing the history of Mayan civilization, Spanish colonialism, and how Valladolid came to be the place it is today. Nothing like free entertainment, especially on such a balmy night!

Finally, returned to the hostel and watched the new ep of The Challenge: Invasion outdoors, while drinking a cuba libra. Then packed it in for the night, turned in early, because the next day, I was up at 7:30, to get to Chichen Itza before it became too crowded and hot with the midday sun.

And that is what I will write about next! Because I’m over 4550 words and have been hungry for hours and it’s already after 10pm and I want to get off the computer and watch the new episode of The Challenge – but this time it’s Champs vs. Pros!

 

—

 

Finally: I went to various other CrossFit classes with “Woodsy” at KRX Fitness, to make the most of the two-week trial they gave me. Really liked it (and was surprised at that), and I did see progress in myself, especially with my stamina… But it costs $125 per month and has limited hours. I prefer to go at my own pace, anyway, so I just signed up for another two-week trial yesterday, with Anytime Fitness. Back to regular weightlifting (back squat, deadlift, chest press, bicep curl, leg press, tricep press-down) with all the time I need for rest between sets.

But I’m glad I got to try it out, as I’d been curious about CrossFit for years (thanks to The Challenge, honestly). And it was fun meeting the other people who patronize that gym, particularly Carolyn, the trainer. She’s a sweetheart and I miss her 😦

 

One last thing: thanks to Ernie, I found out about an underwear fashion show tomorrow, sponsored by Stroked Ego and taking place at Lookout, to fundraise for the Ten Oaks Project. Sounds like something I wanted to check out anyway, but like with trivia – why spend my own money to do something when, instead, I could get paid for doing it myself? I messaged the organizer, and voila, fortune favours the bold, I’ll be modeling some underwear on the runway tomorrow! Alongside all these ūberfit GOV players, sure, so maybe I won’t be looking the best – but whatever, it’s a different aesthetic I have going for me, no más. Is #Dadbod still in?

So if you want a fun night AND to contribute to an amazing cause, come out to Lookout tomorrow! Doors open at 8 and it’s only $10! Come support the kids and keep me company / distract me from the fact that I do not have an eight-pack like the other models !!

 

‘Til next time darlings. And keep your fingers crossed that this UK record check comes in pronto!

 

All the best,

 

– Jefe

Some T about My Governmental Job Opp, A New Home (for the Summer), CrossFit, & More Mexico/Travel Ramblings!

Oh! Wow! I didn’t see you there! Funny meeting you in a place like this.

 

Anyhow.

 

So I have amazing news. I am quite sure that I have landed a job in government, working in Diversity & Inclusion, on a casual contract basis. Which means I have 90 working days at my disposal, and once I deplete those, I can’t work in the same department until the start of the next governmental year.

Which might not seem ideal, but people do that throughout their entire careers, without ever having periods of unemployment. They just go from casual contract to casual contract to cazh-con to CC, and then the year begins again, and you can return to the original department!

And once you are already in government, it becomes much easier to get other jobs within it. So this opportunity is a foot in the door, along with many other benefits. The work is something I care passionately about – how to encourage diversity, enhance inclusion, and dismantle obstacles to both in the workplace – and also an area I will excel in. I bring expertise to the table, particularly related to the LGBTQ+ angle that is so emergent these days. My future department wants to be proactive in their policies, to be on the vanguard of the movement to increase Diversity & Inclusion, and I will aid in that.

The job will also involve a good amount of research, collecting data, analyzing it, synthesizing it all into a coherent report, and publicizing the findings. More strengths of mine, thanks to the three papers I did that involved performing my own empirical research, with my master’s thesis as the obvious example. My experience with online content creation – through social media and blogging for the Lambda Foundation, Camp Wynchemna, and as part of the AUCC Students for Development grant I received to be an intern at Nexos Voluntarios – will also prove useful in this position.

The 90 days will start sooner rather than later, since the Task Force I will be a part of must create that report by September – and from what I understand, at least one person (but maybe two) of the already-small group is on leave. So it’s a bit time-sensitive, it seems, so I’m hoping to hear back from the woman next week and maybe even hit the ground running by Wednesday. I got a phone call the day after the meeting, in which she asked for my full legal name and date of birth – which I take as a sign that they are starting the security clearance process for me. Which they wouldn’t do if they weren’t serious about this / moving forward with my hiring. So I’m super excited about this!

And this casual contract will take me until the end of the summer, and with any luck, I’ll have found another position by then. I’m optimistic, and very excited about the whole opportunity. It came at a great time, too, since last week I was literally pounding the pavement, handing off resumes to all these restaurants to be a server, just so I had something to do / a reason to get out of the house.

Also, I told my roommate a week and a half ago that I’m moving out, so I’ve been apartment-hunting. Even still, I was hesitant to commit to a full summer sublet, just because who knows where I would be come mid-august? What if the reality TV show came through? What if nothing else in Ottawa manifested, and I decided to work on the high ropes course again? What if I decided to forget the whole thing, fly the coop, and travel the world? I didn’t want to be locked down to an apartment here in O-Town, or say I would take something for the full summer and then have to back out (and thereby let somebody down). So I had decided to move into Julia Conzon’s new roommate’s empty room until mid-July, and then figure it out then.

But now that I (likely) have something until the fall, I can find a place longer-term. And so I did. I’m moving this Sunday or Monday into this really great apartment on Sweetland Ave, in Sandy Hill. I already met the two people I’ll be cohabitating with – Gilmour and Bailey – and even the lil cat Luna. The place is very nice, especially for the price I’m paying. Top floor of a beautifully-designed past-century house, with a large balcony, air conditioning, and even a dishwasher! Plus, you know, some amenities that are commonplace but that I have missed while residing in the current, Nepean St location. Those being a living room / common area and reliable Internet. The place is furnished as well, and G & B seem sweet, fun, and with more in common with me than my current roomie. So I’m excited about it! Yay! (Will just potentially have to buy a TV monitor so I can keep enjoying my BBCan5 & RPDR & trashy MTV shows!)

Speaking of, the finale of The Challenge: Invasion (of the Champions) just aired on Tuesday, and I happened to place FIRST in my league of the official MTV Fantasy Competition! So, from what I understand, I won myself a trip to the VMAs, maybe for two, which are happening in California in late August. Now, I got first place in my own public league, but I am not the person with the most points over everybody who entered. So… I guess we’ll see what happens? I haven’t received an email yet, but it hasn’t been that long since the finale showed. In any case, earning first place is thrilling in itself.

And one more piece of exciting news – I am checking out KRX Fitness, a Cross-Fit gym with a free two-week trial, in an hour with the singular Nick Woodward! I’m a bit cowed by the prospect of potentially puking from (over)exertion, but looking forward to it nonetheless. I gotta push past my comfort zone and “Challenge” myself, right?

SO before I dive right into the working world again, and probably get overwhelmed at the beginning (since I fully expect it to be a lot of work and very challenging, but I’m looking forward to that, so I can grow and learn and become a better worker and person), I should finish up writing up Mexico. So, shall we?

—

Day 5: Akumal

 

My fifth day started in Playa del Carmen, where I met my hostel buddies up on the rooftop for the breakfast. They were all going to Akumal Beach, famous for being the place where you can swim alongside sea turtles. I looked it up on TripAdvisor, and somebody had recently left a review saying that there was a suspension on snorkeling with the tortugas. But these new travel friends had heard from others that it was still on, and it was a cheap collectivo ride away, and apparently a beautiful beach – so even if I didn’t spy any sea turtles, it would still be a good day. What else would I have done, anyway? I had woken up, planning to go to XPLOR, an adventure theme park with ziplining, rafting down an underground river, a buffet lunch. It was something like $90 US, but for a full day of thrilling activities PLUS all the food I could eat, that price is justifiable. Trying to kick my oft-tight-fisted instincts anyway. Alas, you could not buy tickets online for the day of (no idea why), and I wasn’t going to just appear at the park and hope they had space left – and also pay the full price (~$125) without any discounts. So I switched my plans up last-minute.

So Serina & Meg go first, since they were ready, rarin’ to go, and I didn’t want to hold them up. I told them I’d meet them there, like I did with the Kiwi Couple, and if it were meant to be, then I would find them. And if not, well, I have no trouble spending a day at the beach alone.

I take my sweet time getting ready, meander to the collectivo station, grab an iced coffee on the way, stop in a cute lil café for some food to go, end up chatting with the cashier – who was yet another Canadian – then hop in a minibus headed south. I strike up a conversation with my seatmate, another Canadian, and pick his brain about what’s to do around there. I considered doing XPLOR the next day, and just storing my stuff in a locker while en route to the next town, but through talking with this guy, it became clear to me that – contrary to what I had originally thought – I actually was running out of time. And this was not even halfway through my trip! And was originally worrying that I wouldn’t have enough to fill up my days!

This convenient chit-chat decided various things for me. There was not enough time for me to go to Belize (which would’ve been my thirtieth country), which wasn’t advised anyway. I didn’t even have enough days to justify riding all the way down to Bacalar for a day and a night, even if that was recommended to me, for its idyllic charm and picturesque five-hued blue lagoon. So I made my mind up. It would be Tulum-Coba-Valladolid-Chichen Itza-Merida-Cancun-Isla Mujeres. And that’s exactly what I did, and I don’t regret any of it.

Anyhow, I eventually get to Akumal – it was further than expected – and wander along the white sand beach, looking out for a spot to sit in the shade of a palm tree and also keeping my eyes open for the two girlies. And I manage to find both. Meg & Serina were sitting in the blazing sun, and I wasn’t trying to get even more toasted, so I go and claim a nice lil plot for us further up the beach. I eat my sandwich, smile at the shoreline, read my book, and then shoot the breeze with those two when they meander over. Then I go splashing around the waves solo, goggles on, hunting for some turtle friends. I never locate any of them, sadly (even though Meg did), but I do swim /drift over some coral and other fishies. The water felt amazing, of course, and I fully appreciated how I was in legitimate paradise once again. Couldn’t get enough of it.

[And then while walking back to the girls, some random woman who passes me says, “Wow! That’s a tiny swimsuit!” Like, really? Did I ask you? Is it really that small? No and no, so sashay away. Still good for some laughs tho.]

When the three of us tire of the beach / grow a little hungry, we go searching for a place for a bite, ultimately settling on this low-key cantina with a comida corrida (like a menu of the day, a cheap multi-course meal). I had fish tacos with beans and rice. I figured, since we were so close to the beach, it would be supa fresh. And maybe it was, I can’t remember. The food wasn’t remarkable, but it was certainly affordable.

And then we return to Playa and stroll down La Quinta. I wanted to go back to the Mamitas Beach Club / homosection and swim some more, but the ladies didn’t, so we split. And went and frolicked in the ocean some, and it was all so blissful. I’m missing it now, that feeling of complete liberation from cares & concerns. And the temperature was like bathwater. Amazing.

The night went similar to the two previous. Free Happy Hour on the roof, Meg & I timing ourselves chugging these drinks, giggling and laughing and chatting with everyone, and then our random contingent going on a ragtag adventure. We stopped for delicious & super cheap quesadillas, then meandered to another hostel that both V and I had heard was having a party tonight. We manage to find it (it was all the way across town), climb the stairs, and waltz right in. You know that secret, pretend you belong there, act like you own the place, and people won’t stop you? So I tried that… But unsuccessfully. The party was packed, so if I just moved a bit faster, I could’ve escaped paying the cover. And don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t aware that you had to give money to get in, so I just entered like I usually do at parties. But the doorman came up and seemed a bit angry with me. Like, sorry dude, you didn’t post the price anywhere.

Regardless, it was TWO HUNDRED PESOS to get in. Which doesn’t really translate to much in Canadian money (like $15), and it came with a large (triple) tequila drink… But still, I was salty about it. Only the dudes had to pay, the six of us (3 girls & 3 guys) talked about splitting the difference so all of us only gave 100, but when I went to collect from my friends, the deal was off. Easy to get annoyed by that when you’re drinking, but really, what’s the point? I’m fortunate enough in my life that I really don’t give a damn about losing $7. And my frugality can often be a weakness. So it’s literally whatever.

The party on top of this hostel wasn’t really great, either. Too-loud trancey music (which I’m not into and which prevented talking) and not enough room to really walk around or dance – but still hot bartenders and cool fire-dancers. So Meg & I ditched it after not too long, and the rest of the night was my favourite. We went back to the gay club, which was even emptier and sadder than the previous night, so we did a little tour, snapped some photos in the dance cages they had in there, laughed about the whole thing. Then popped in this super random club right next door that still looked like it was setting up for the night and definitely not open – all their lights were on and people were putting out chairs – but Meg and I just pranced around the dance floor. Literally. Skipping and jumping and doing sloppy pirouettes and somersaults and handstands and acting like we were in the tumbling section of a gymnastics comp. It was SO much fun, so stupid and silly and harmless and enjoyable. The BEST.

It was clear we weren’t really welcome, and the employees/owners didn’t know what to do with two gringos borrachitos just making fools of themselves (they didn’t say anything to us at all, but I feel like I asked “Está abierto?” when we entered) – so we left after not too long, and went in search of some eats.

Wandered down La Quinta, which isn’t really known for its cheap food. We stopped at a pizza/empanada place – I had a shrimp slice – and Meg was hilariously trying to bargain the guy down for an empanada or two. In both English and (basic) Spanish, her Australian accent and all, and she was trying so hard. But he wouldn’t budge! I tell you, it was a sight to behold. And she bought one anyway, and grumbled that it wasn’t even worth the money. EL OH EL.

But we made up for this by going to the old favourite, El Fogón. She got some quesadillas, I ordered yummy nachos, and we had a great time. Even though I spilled some salsa on my pants, washed it off at the sink, and it looked like I peed myself. But I didn’t care at all. It was a fabulous night, my favourite during the entire trip, and Meg solidified herself as somebody I can definitely kiki with / get ridiculous and be silly and have the most fun. Miss you so much, girl!

The friends I made in Playa del Carmen & the wonderful place I stayed in made it the stand-out of the whole twelve days. I had good hostel experiences elsewhere, for sure, but PDC was legendary.

And that brings me to….

 

Day 6: Tulum

I wake up, get breakfast, say adios to my lovely nuevos amigos, then go to the ChouChou Café, an adorable and beautiful coffee shop down the street from the hostel on the way to the collectivo station. Perfect. I sit on the porch, have a delicious shakerito (espresso + ice + un poquitito, no más, of milk), and enjoy the ambiance… Then head to grab a minibus to my next stop, sweating profusely because I’m carrying all my stuff and it is bloody hot out. All part of the charm, though.

I probably chat up my seatmate on the ride down, I’m not sure. I did that various times, because the best suggestions come from the locals. And I get to Tulum and have the most trouble finding my hostel. It was actually dreadful, maybe the lowest part of the trip. I had an address and a pin dropped on Google Maps, and I walked up and down the damn street searching for it numerous times. Of course, this being relatively rural Mexico, there weren’t many numbers on the houses to assist me with locating it. And I even stopped in various nicer-looking restaurants and asked them if they knew where it was, and they had never even heard of it! One guy even used his own phone to Google it, with no progress made, and then TWICE called the number they had given me, but nobody picked up. Like, what?! Am I being punk’d? What is the deal? And it was sweltering out and the area it was supposed to be in wasn’t the nicest and I lost a little bit of hope, to be honest. I didn’t want to wander all the way to another hostel, in hopes that they had a bunk available (since the one that was recommended to me was all full-up), when I still felt I was going to actually find the “Chill Inn Hostel.” And I didn’t want to be charged for the original one, if I wasn’t staying there, or go through the rigmarole of reversing that charge.

So FINALLY I manage to hunt down the place. They did have their number posted, but it was hard to see – and since NONE of the surrounding buildings did, I wasn’t really looking for that. They had ABSOLUTELY NO SIGN outside to signify that, “Yes, international travellers – without working cell phones or knowledge of this area and maybe even no command of the local language – this is the hostel you’re staying at! Super easy to find!” SO DUMB.

I was livid when I entered. And when I expressed this, and told the worker (en español) that there was no sign and how are people supposed to locate it if you’re not doing anything to facilitate that, by putting something at least a bit recognizable outside, all she said was, “We don’t need one. If you know where it is you can find it.” Like, yes, obviously if you know where to look for it you can locate it… But people who have never been to the hostel or even to Tulum will have no idea! And she was absolutely nonplussed about the whole thing. Aaarrgghhh, maddening!

I vented a bit more to two young, blonde girls that were in the hostel too, Fritzi (German) and Kirsten (Dutch). And that wasn’t the greatest first impression, let me tell you. Sweaty and frazzled and – by how relaxed everybody else was – seemingly overreacting. Fortunately that didn’t really appall them too much, as we ended up hanging out later at the hostel, and in Valladolid, and even at Chichen Itza.

I went into my room, cooled off a bit – both literally and figuratively – then went out for some lunch. Maybe I was a bit hangry as well. Probably. Returned to the taqueria with the gentleman who rang the hostel and really tried to help me out, because I wanted to show him my gratitude. Unfortunately, they were out of tacos for that day, so I ended up patronizing that establishment on my last afternoon in Tulum.

Instead, I ate at Tropi-Q, which had an amazing comida corrida for ~120 pesos. If I remember correctly, it was cucumbers with cayenne pepper, then some fresh bread, with papaya agua fresca, then spaghetti with spinach and olive oil, and finally pork with black beans and a Mexican-style ratatouille. Chopped/sautéed vegetables with sour cream and some cheese. Everything was delicious, it was so cheap, and I sat out on the patio and people-watched.

I had a conversation with my neighbour, as well, who was an American woman in her 30s or 40s who just upped and moved to Tulum for two months, to get away from the hustle+bustle of US life. She was studying Spanish and enjoying the beach and just taking it easy. Very Eat, Pray, Love of her, and I value that. Tulum has that effect on people, I gathered. Everyone seemed to absolutely adore the town, and it’s somewhat of a surfers’ paradise. Amy Demone spent eight full days there, just working during the day then heading to coastline at night, and doing yoga on the sand. Tulum is, like, the hot new thing in Mexico. Very trendy and upcoming and hipster. I certainly liked it, don’t get me wrong – but maybe it’s a bit overrated? I don’t know. I didn’t spend the most time there, so maybe I didn’t relax to the extent I should’ve or really took the time to absorb all the town had to offer. I don’t know.

What I didn’t love about Tulum is that it has two parts: the town (which is a bit dingy + dusty, to be honest) and the beach, which is much nicer, greener, and paradisiacal. Which means, of course, that it is more touristy and expensive, with the classier restaurants and beach resorts. And in order to go from one to the other, you either had to rent a bike or take a collectivo – the former which I didn’t spring for, since I never spent a full day there, and the latter which were not as regular as in Cancun.

Still, Tulum was awesome, and definitely worth the visit – because it’s the new thing to do, if nothing else. I’ll finish up writing about it later, as this is at ~3800 words currently & I have exciting plans to grab a drink right now!

 

So there you have it: some T about the job sitch, my new home (printing out + signing the sublease today), and more travel ramblings.

Hope y’all enjoyed. And I welcome your feedback! Do you want more funny stories and misadventures? Or more musings and philosophical insights? Or straight-to-the-point, what-did-I-do-in-Mexico details? Or a mixture of all of them. Let me know.

‘Til next time my darlings,

Love+light,

 

– Jefe