New Flat, Who Dis? + Humour Moving Stories + TV/Reading + MTL Pride + Fun Social Goings-On

What’s up, fam-ily!

 

Cringey start to a blog post? Maybe. But then perhaps you’ll have low expectations for the rest of it! 😉 That’s my secret, after all. Low expectations so I’m not disappointed – when the converse is my kryptonite.

 

Regardless, hello! I’m sitting on my new bed in my new flat. My new roommate & his girlfriend were gonna watch The Handmaid’s Tale, but that ain’t happening…. So I’m tempted to just forget about this blog post, go make a tomato-arugula flatbread (and lunches for the week), and watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’m one episode + Untucked before the finale of Season 8, so I could do that all tonight. Or maybe I’ll finish that episode of Master of None I started today (the hour-long one, who has time for that?), watch the penultimate episode of RPDR, and save the Coronation for tomorrow night. Hmm, #choices. I’ve been on a roll with finishing up TV this weekend, though.

My new place is so close to my office – literally less than five minutes by bike, about 2.5 blocks – that I’ve started spending my lunch breaks at home. Makes things a lot easier in terms of cooking, and it also means that instead of going to the Minto Centre and doing a Metro crossword and reading my Kindle, I now just watch TV while I eat. Gives my brain a break, and it means I can catch up on my shows now. Which helped me finish the second season of sense8 this week and get further in RPDR S8. Next up will be Stranded with a Million Dollars, and then probably Riverdale and 13 Reasons Why and American Horror Story: Roanoke. But I might just start watching AHS Cult live, since that’s been getting lots of buzz recently. And of course, naturally – I’ve been keeping up with The Challenge XXX: Dirty Thirty. Oh! I also finished Black Mirror last night (the “Hated in the Nation” one, with the mechanic bees), am nearly done with Master of None, and wrapped up Kimmy Schmidt. I get a weird sense of accomplishment, crossing these off my list. Maybe because I don’t binge-watch but also feel like I’m always behind on shows that people are talking about. Like, I’ve definitely missed the boat for Riverdale and 13RW, but whatever – better late than never.

Anyway, I’m sure y’all don’t care all that much about my TV habits. But while I’m on the subject, might as well record the books I’ve been reading. I ripped through The Party by Robyn Harding and loved it. Reminded me of Liane Moriarty (of Big Little Lies and The Husband’s Secret fame), so if you like her, check it out. Good human / family drama. I just started This is How You Lose Her the other day, but it hasn’t enraptured me yet. I’ve only read one chapter, but still. Might look into Fierce Kingdom, or Three Wishes, or The Lying Game next. And I’m always open to recommendations, so suggest away!

I haven’t journaled in forever and a day, and y’all know how infrequent these blog posts are. It’s a shame, because I want to remember and chronicle all my goings-on (and I think they’re valuable pastimes), but it’s not like I’m just wasting time or being idle. Life is pretty damn busy for me these days. Working full time, hosting trivia on Mondays, gym three times a week (for 1.5 hours each time), yoga on Thursdays, regular upkeep (cooking, cleaning, meal prep, errands), here-and-there volunteering with the Lambda Foundation (I’ve been recruiting for the Board recently), some dates, and the constant socializing. Which is not a chore, don’t get me wrong – I’m a SuperExtrovert, so I need that time spent with friends – but planning takes effort, and it does take up time that I could use doing other things. But I would much rather see people I like, enjoy, and respect.

And last weekend (which fortunately had an extra day to it) was taken up with packing, moving, cleaning, an IKEA trip, unpacking, organizing, and carrying random furniture back to my new place on foot. Like my bed, which I was going to pick up when we had the U-Haul rental… Butut then there was a computer glitch. So literally 100+ people were waiting for their van on literally one of the biggest moving weekends of the whole year, because there was no manual mechanism to let these vehicles out. Horrible. Fortunately, we still got ours – but it came two hours late, and by that time, the person who sold it to me (Big Ang) had to go to work. So I had to wait until the next night (meaning I had no bed to sleep in the first night, after moving all day) to pick it up. My darling Catlin (who came to visit me, and we had an amazing time, more on that later) walked over with me to Percy/Lisgar to pick it up on Sunday night. The plan was to hoof it back ourselves – it didn’t seem that far when I biked over to see it on Saturday morning (as we were waiting for the U-Haul) – but I forgot how long it takes to get anywhere when you’re on foot. Horrible.

So Cat and I got an Uber XL, and Paul, our dear driver, was so amazing. He put all the seats in his SUV down and helped me squeeze the mattress into the back and even let us share the front seat as we rode across town. Definitely illegal, and I was nervous we would get pulled over en route – but nothing of the sort happened! We made it back to Lisgar (near Elgin) without incident, and Paul even helped us take all the pieces of the bedframe out of the car. And all for $12! What a deal! I should use Uber more often.

I’ve picked up other pieces of furniture since then, too – predominately from the curb. Jared (my new roommate) and I carried a comfy black pleather couch back to our place, and a dresser for my room, and I found a black dining table for the living room, and just tonight, Lucie (Jared’s girlfriend) and I brought another table back, for my desk. The new place is enormous, and I had absolutely no furniture to fill the apartment. But we have been very enterprising for the past week, and the place is looking pretty great! Still want a bookcase for the living room, another table/counter or two for the dining room, and an extra set of drawers for my room – for clothes and miscellanea. I guess some more decorations would be good too, since the walls in my bedroom aren’t in the best shape.

I have a lot of great paintings / wall hangings back in Nova Scotia, and Mum and Dad are driving to Ohio in November. They might be able to bring some stuff with them, stop here for the night, and that would fantastic! I could get the beautiful painting that was in Oma and Opa’s house, with the waves and shoreline. I love it so much, it would like great in the living room or my bedroom – and it would be fantastic to have a memory of them in my new Ottawa home ❤ . So hopefully that pans out – and that would also mean I could get my board games transported up here! Betrayal at House on the Hill, Puerto Rico, Serenissima, Scattergories, Cranium, and maybe a Dominion expansion or two! I just bought the base game last weekend for $25, used – but it had only been played once or twice. The cards are in great condition, and I’ve already had friends over on two nights to play in this past week! A new expansion is coming out in October too, right around my birthday. It’s called Nocturne, and it’s kinda horror-themed – with new game mechanics like Night cards (after the Buy phase), Heirlooms replacing the starting Coppers, and things called Boons and Hexes. Eek! So excited! I’m gonna treat myself to it. Oh, and I guess Mum and Dad could bring up some more of my clothing and books too.

But that’s one of the best parts of my new apartment: I can finally host things! The summer sublet on Sweetland was fab, and I did have friends over for coffee / drinks on the balcony… But there was no big table inside for games or dinner parties. But now, in this new place (I’ve been trying to figure out a name – maybe something like JM² Palace, since both Jared & I share those initials?), we have numerous tables and plenty of room, so hurray! I can be a lil social butterfly again! Horror movies and potlucks and predrinks and game nights! I’m so excited about it.

And further than that – it’s actually a place I can call my own, which I haven’t had for more than two years, since I left the “Manly Manor” in Montreal. Then it was living at SAIT in Calgary for Wynchemna, then crashing with my parents before Scotland, then the student residence in Glasgow, then couchsurfing/Camp Rainbow/staying with my sister and then aunt and cousins, then again sleeping under my parents’ roof, then renting Garry’s room, and then subletting with Gilmour and Bailey. None of it was mine for long-term, and in none of them could I call the shots about decorations and how it was all set up. But now, at the Lisgar House, my name is on the lease, I feel like I have ownership over it – it’s a home. And what a wonderful feeling that is! Especially after today, since I went on a shopping spree at Giant Tiger and Dollarama for essentials that we were lacking that I’ve been so accustomed to having. I bought a dish drying rack, silverware organizer, coffee maker, a small frying pan, a chef’s knife, straws, plastic wrap, sink stoppers, hot plates, pepper… You know, normal things to have, that neither Jared nor I had gotten yet. But now it’s real! And so much more convenient now.

Tomorrow/sometime this week, he and/or Lucie will be going to a thrift store, and hopefully they’ll find a nice but affordable set of dishes. We need more than two plates, some regular-sized forks, and drinking glasses that aren’t Mason jars. There was a bunch of glassware left here by the previous tenants – and I thought, oh, awesome, now I don’t have to go buy any! (there was even a Mill Street Organic pint glass, perfect for my iced coffee) – but then Jared got overzealous with cleaning and gave them all away 😦 Sad. He told me not to worry, ‘cause he kept the good stuff – but that was the Mason Jars -_- Ugh, sorry Mr. Hipster, my hand doesn’t fit in those, so I can’t wash them – and I prefer normal tumblers for drinks, thanks.

Obvi no big deal, and the issue will be resolved soon. But I am ecstatic about the new place. So big! A large living room and a large dining room! Bountiful storage! Nice wooden floors! So much natural light! A great little balcony! A faux fireplace and lovely mantel! Original tilework in the bathroom and the building hallways / stairwells! A huge double sink in the kitchen! A shower that’s more than just a stall! Ceiling fans in the bedrooms! A cute and friendly (and maybe queer) male neighbour who lent me a wrench! Cool archways between the rooms! Awesome crystal doorknobs! And my bedroom has two windows, on two different walls! So when I’m sleeping in my comfy new double bed (not a single anymore, thank gawd), I get to look out and see sky, regardless of which side I’m laying on! I love it! And so close to my office and grocery stores and all the other stuff in Centretown! We’re so lucky!

 

Jared’s parents came up to help him/us move last weekend, so I got to meet them too. Lucie, his mom Wendy, and I all rode in the same car (while Jared and his dad Teddy were in the U-Haul) to and from Sandy Hill / Centretown / IKEA, and we hit it off really well. Had a grand ol’ time, and it was glorious weather too. (Before six straight days of rain / grey clouds, yuck – but fortunately this week looks to be sunny and 20+ degrees every day, so yay!) It was nice meeting them, and the rented van was a humongous help with moving. I really didn’t want to schlep everything on my own again, like I did when I relocated to Sweetland in May. AND, I got to return to the wonderland that is IKEA! My friends and I used to drive the 45 minutes down to the Conshohocken store in PA back in high school, and just explore / hang out there. Actually, that’s what I did for my birthday one year, now that I think about it – with Stephen and Alyssia. Even though those people are not in my life at all anymore, it’s still a good memory. I really love IKEA. And it’s so affordable, too! And let’s not forget the FOOD! I noshed on two meals while I was there last weekend: the meatballs with lingonberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and veggies; and a Swedish sandwich with cold cuts, cheese, and cucumber. With the lingonberry soda too, of course! Delicious.

 

Lots more to write about. The exciting goings-on at work (and how I’ve gotten much more responsibility, the big boss returned, and an even more potential future there); Montreal & Ottawa Pride with Mikey & Sarah / Bailey / Ndaku / Chloe & Kelvin & Danny / Chris / the GOV Gays / etc; and other notable stuff happening in my life right now. However, it’s 10:30pm, I haven’t had a legit meal since breakfast, my laptop is at 10% battery, I gotta go make zucchini-sausage-mushroom pasta for lunches, and I wanna see more Kim Chi artistry! So I’ll stop this for now, and pick it up tomorrow or Tuesday. Ttythen.

 

…

 

So it’s been MORE THAN A WEEK since I edited this. Things have gotten real busy. Monday is hosting trivia, Tuesday I gymmed then played Mansions of Madness with Tim/Jayme/Fraser/John, Wednesday I tried out for volleyball, Thursday was yoga then board games again (Betrayal at House on the Hill with Corey/Eric/Jayme/Tim), then Friday was gym and relaxation. Saturday and Sunday were fully busy too – and now that it’s already after 6pm on Monday – I gotta get scooting to the Lieutenant’s Pump to pick up question and answer sheets and then to the Royal Oak (on Slater & Kent!) to run trivia again. Afterwards, I’ll try to “pump” this one out – but I also need to cook lunches for the rest of the week and will be pretty tired. We’ll have to see. I’m making jambalaya, though, so I’m excited about that.

To cover what I mentioned earlier – I finished RPDR S8 (loved all three lip syncs in the Finale) and Master of None, and watched the pilot for AHS: Cult and began 13 Reasons Why. I am loving the latter. It’s very well-made and keeps my attention, even if it is heart-rending. I read the book back in high school, though, so I think I’ll be able to manage. If I don’t continue this later, it’s because I was too tired, cooking took too long, and I opted for more 13RW rather than productivity.

I did not enjoy AHS Cult, though. It’s very on-the-nose (about the Trump / Clinton election debacle) and not particularly subtle. Plus, they already did the whole scary-clown thing, back in season 4! Why are bringing back these murderous circus freaks? Aren’t there other creatures that would be better to depict? But maybe they’re going for more heavy-handed “allegory” to real life, since there were those people dressing up in clown costumes and, like, skulking through the woods… Do you remember that? Was 2016 even real?

Anyway! It didn’t draw me in, even if I am happy to see Billie Lourd and Colton Haynes in it. The worst part, however, is the friggen trypophobia. Aka fear of small holes – like in coral / lotus root / honeycomb. It is a surprisingly common fear. If you’re unfamiliar, you should most definitely search it on Google Images. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though… I showed Keihgan the other day and he was #triggered. Regardless, point is, it makes me very uncomfortable / borderline nauseated – so if they keep showing that, in addition to a lackluster story with repeated elements from other AHS seasons, then I will most definitely give it a pass.

 

So now about VOLLEYBALL! I know a bunch of people who compete in the GOV (Gay Ottawa Volleyball) League, and even though I’m not monosexual/homosexual, I still wanted to try it out! I’ve always liked v-ball and considered going out for the team during high school, but it was the same season as tennis, and well, I opted for the latter. Plus, a new friend, John Lackner, needed a buddy to attend tryouts with him, and I was more than happy to oblige.

There are two leagues – a drop-in/rec one on Mondays (that I can’t do because of being a trivia emcee phenom), and a more competitive league on Wednesdays. I didn’t have anything going on last HumpDay and wanted to really earn my weekly nachos platter – so I decided to check it out. And it was so fun! Even if I might not have been the absolute best player there, I found a team regardless. It’s me, John, Anne, Kirby, Jean-Paul, Dave, and Adnan. Seven people, even though only six can play at once… So we’ll figure out a schedule so everyone is content. And the best part? The name we came up with. Originally we were the “Serv-ivors,” but Anne wanted something a bit queer-er and more tongue-in-cheek. We tossed around a lot of names (puns where “Sets” replaces “Sex,” riffs like Bump ‘n’ Grind, etc) – but we decided on Serving Realness. Like the queens always say to describe their outfits, on the runway of RuPaul’s Drag Race – but also because you serve in volleyball, duh. I was actually the one that came up with it, and I was so damn proud of myself… Only to find out later that day, that Tim had the same team name for the Summer ’17 league. Whomp whomp. Great minds think alike, I guess?

Regardless, I’m over the moon about the whole thing. I’ve already met some cool people, it was pretty fun, now I have something to look forward to on Wednesdays, and maybe the extra activity will shave my waist down so my abs are more apparent! One can hope, at least.

My team is also not uber-competitive, which I’m pleased about. I’ve never played v-ball seriously, and most of the others are beginners as well. But Adnan and Jean-Paul are apparently strong players, so hopefully they can teach the rest of our motley crew a thing or two.

I also learned a lot about the positions in volleyball last Wednesday. Whenever I played before, you would just rotate and play from where you were on the court. But nope! That’s apparently for amateurs. Whomp. So instead, I learned about the Middle, Power, Setter, and Offside positions, and where they’re supposed to go during the switch, and when the relocating happens, and the rules of when and when you can’t jump, and who gets what ball, and what you’re supposed to announce, etc, etc. It was a lot to take in, but I do think I grasped most of it.

Only problem is… I was playing Setter during the scrimmages and really striving to soak up all the requisite knowledge. Which I enjoyed and feel like I can do. However, the Setter is apparently the most difficult role to play, and the most important position for the team. Meaning most teams sink or swim based on their Setter, so you really need to be up to snuff for success… Sooooooo, not exactly all the pressure I want when I’m playing just for fun. Of course, I want to do well, but if the team is riding on me each game – that’s much too much. Plus, Jean-Paul, the most experienced person on Serving Realness, is a Setter.

So it looks like I’ll become a Power player after all. And possibly Setter.

And that’s that! Can’t wait for more practice / fun on Wednesday! But I do need to find me some knee pads first…

 

It is now 6:45. Gotta dash! // And now it’s 11pm, jambalaya is a-boilin’ on the stove, and I’m very sweaty again – even though I already showered. Oh well, I do love this Indian Summer we’re having.

 

Trivia went well. One of the teams I’m friendliest with – Team TBD – recommended I start watching Survivor again, since a new season premieres in two weeks. So I might just do that – actually, maybe I’ll mention to Jayme that that can be our Friday night socials show.

And then I zipped over on my bike to the Glebe Annex and picked up some free cutlery. Also this weekend, I traded gift bags, tissue paper, and a bottle of wine for a set of dishes – plates and bowls. And I bought a mug from St Vincent de Paul. And last week, I traded two craft beers for a whole box of quality glassware – pint glasses, shot glasses, wine glasses, tumblers, the whole lot. And it was all wrapped in socks too, so once I wash them – I’ll be able to do laundry even more infrequently! This was predominately arranged through the Bunz Facebook group. Gotta love it!

And now all Jared and I need to make this house a home is a toaster or toaster oven. But Chris & Matt might be getting rid of theirs when they (devastatingly) move to Montreal, so their loss might be our gain. Still, I’d give up a free toaster oven if it meant they were staying local 😦

 

So I think I’ll wrap this up sooner rather than later, and leave explanation of all the work stuff for an update on another day. But let’s catch you up on some social stuff!

Now that I live in a place that is my own that has a big living room and couches and a dining table – I can finally hold social goings-on! So the first week I was here, I game nights on back-to-back days, playing Dominion (Base + Adventures). Did the same this past Saturday, and then people came over for pre’s, and then we went out to the Queer Mafia event at Babylon! And that was fab. And this coming weekend, I am probably going to have a housewarming party / potluck / Werewolves night. I’m centrally located and a social butterfly, so why not mix up my social circles and help people meet each other? Hurray! More dinner parties and scary movies and gatherings!

 

I managed to attend not only Pride in Toronto this year (with bb Julia), but also Montreal and Ottawa. The former was totally fabulous. I wanted to take off Friday and go up Thursday evening – there was a free event with ten of Drag Race queens – but could not. It ended up being for the best, because I attended an official meeting of the Joint Union/Management Task Force on Diversity & Inclusion and got to meet all these people I’ve only heard about – so that was a great opportunity, and I learned a lot. Would not have wanted to miss that for some lip syncing.

So I went up on Friday evening in a rideshare, and the driver and I actually hit it off great! His name is Alex, we had great conversation, listened to a podcast together, and debated about the sexualisation of Pride, morality, board games, and Ottawa social qualms. Very interesting!

I stayed with Mikey & Sarah in Montreal, but unfortunately didn’t get to see them that much 😦 I arrived to Montreal, walked through the Village, went to the free Nelly Furtado concert (and saw the opener, Ria Mae, perform – both were magnif. Check out “Bend” by RM if you haven’t heard it), then meandered back to meet Mikey. I changed into clubwear, put on winged eyeliner, bought some rosé, and he and I whisked off to Lionel Groulx for a house party with his coworkers. It was a legit party too – with snacks, Jello shots, and a swell variety of people!

I met some of his friends, had some titillating conversations, but then it was last call for the Metro, and I was itching to get Pride started off with a bang. So I jogged back to the station with my half-finished bottle of pank wine, rode to Beaudry, and somehow rendezvoused with Ndaku on the crowded pedestrian village of Ste-Catherine, outside Sky Bar. We chit chat on the street, he transfers his stamp onto my wrist, and we (re-)enter the club, despite the line being long enough to wrap around the corner D: Sorry, folks!

Ndaku & I dance a bit, but spend most of our time on the rooftop terrasse. The weather in Montreal for Pride was absolutely perfect. I was out both Friday and Saturday nights until after 4am, just hanging out and talking to friends on the streets. It was glorious, and that never happens in Ottawa. How I miss La Belle Ville 😦 So I stay out ‘til 4:30, sitting on these white benches/installations across from Cabaret Mado, just shooting the breeze with Ndaku and some of his new Montreal friends. Perfect night.

Then I meander back to Mikey & Sarah’s and go to sleep.

And on that night… I’m gonna wrap it up here, at 4320+ words and 11:40pm when I’m in the office at 8:30am.

Still have beaucoup to write about, but it’ll have to wait.

 

Hope y’all are doing well – living your best lives. It really seems like I am, these days (finally). I’m very content with my new place, work is going fantastically, and as each week passes, I start to like the people I know here in Ottawa even more.

 

Stay tuned for the next update! Hopefully it’ll come in a week or two! And until then – keep on being your bad selves 😛

 

Love + light,

 

– Jefe

Last Day of “Freedom,” MY FIRST DAY AT WORK AT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, & the Last Chapter of My Magnificent Trip to Mexico (Merida, Cancun, Bungee Jumping, Isla Mujeres & Montreal)

Shalom,

 

So today is my last day as an untethered young buck. Tomorrow I start my job as Junior Program Officer, affiliated with the Joint/Union Management Task Force on Diversity & Inclusion in the Public Service, in the Treasury Board Secretariat of the Canadian Federal Government! Now how prestigious (and intimidating) does that sound? I’m so excited about it! And a bit nervous! And not really sure what to expect! But definitely ready to begin! Wouhou!

How am I spending my last taste of freedom? I woke up early, as I’m trying to reset / regularize my sleep schedule, and sipped iced coffee while reading about The Challenge (the finale of its spinoff Champs vs Pros aired on Tuesday night, and the new season premieres in less than a month). Then went for a short bike ride, got the newspaper, and ate a late breakfast out on the balcony while completing the crossword and reading some articles. Now I’m working on this blog post, going to yoga at 5, and I have my weekly Pandemic Legacy game later tonight. Then likely an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 (just witnessed the iconique Laganja breakdown, and okurrrr mawma, it was everything, just too f***ing much, SUCH a disaster) and an early bedtime – because tomorrow, I’m at the office at 9am! Whuuttt! Insanity.

And considering how I’ll be out of town all day Saturday & Sunday – I’m helping Tsarina Tsybina move to Toronto by renting a car, picking up ridesharers, driving to Montreal, loading the minivan, heading to T-Dot, listening to the S-Town podcast, sleeping overnight, attending the Pride Parade, then driving back to Ottawa Sunday evening – I need to finish up blogging ‘bout Mexico. I know I sound like a broken record by now, so I’m just gonna get it out of the way, so we can move onto other topics. Plus, after tomorrow, I feel I’ll have much more to discuss – and also much less energy to do so. I know starting working again is going to be exhausting and have a sharp learning curve. I’m prepared for it, but I’m not necessarily looking forward to the adjustment period. Plus I want to continue hitting the gym, so hopefully I’ll have the wherewithal to do that. But it’s that famous paradox, isn’t it? Working out actually gives you more energy, despite everything you expend in the process. I suppose it’s about putting your stamina to the test, depleting it, so you have more in general. I’m not totally sure. But I hope that the past six weeks have conditioned me to be able to last longer and be more energetic.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

 

—

 

Day 11: Merida & Cancun

 

Woke up early, enjoyed the quality hostel breakfast, packed my stuff up, and put it “closed with a key” (cerrado con llave) in the locker. Then hurried down to the main plaza, where there was a free walking tour, which are a great way to explore a city. You can wander around yourself, certainly – and that is what I predominately do – but then there’s so much nuance and history and interesting factoids that you miss when you don’t have somebody there to explain / introduce it to you. I was meeting Fritzi there, and we even waited up for her, but she never showed. That’s one frustration of traveling abroad. You get so accustomed to being able to communicate with others at a moment’s notice when you’re back home – due to WiFi or data on your mobile – so when you’re without that, it goes back to the old-fashioned ways of doing things, pre-cell phones. I kinda like it, though. It’s a return to simpler times. If they show up, great – and if not, well, you can’t get upset about it. These things happen. And it turns out that there were actually two walking tours departing at the same time nearby each other – so she went to the other one, where she was also wondering where I was. Shame, since I wanted to hang out with her again, but what can ya do?

The walking tour was very informative. We learned about the big Cathedral, toured the church, wandered through a free museum in a government building, and checked out the brilliant architecture of other edifices in the city. Lots of wealth families lived in Merida once upon a time, due to the production of sisal, a plant fibre that is woven into rope. The industry boomed and richesse came with it – along with opulent homes and colonial architectural details and luxe living spaces. As well as enormous haciendas outside the city, that I unfortunately missed out on (you can’t do it all). Nowadays, many of these have been converted into upper-crust hotels and palatial estates for the bougie travelers to enjoy. Me, I prefer that hostel and couchsurfing life. All the better to meet people and truly experience an area!

We also walked down this road in which all the shops had these fish tanks / terraria with these cockroach-looking bugs in them for sale. The kicker is that they were all bejeweled, with gold chains and sparkly gems and the like. They’re called makech, and the apparently immobilize themselves when they’re touched. So the idea is, you hang them on y our top like a brooch, and it just dangles there without crawling anywhere. And when you put them back in their cage, they resume movement. It’s living art, a bit macabre, interesting, eye-catching. Like the blinged-out roaches on America’s Next Top Model. I wouldn’t personally do it, but I do think it’s cool.

And the legend behind it is that there was this affluent father (maybe a king?) with a daughter (possibly a princess) that he gave anything she ever desired. After his conquests, he would always bring back a gift for his darling daughter. Except one time, she wanted one of the slaves (or maybe a prisoner) that her father won due to his victory – but he wasn’t having any of it. She disobeyed him, went behind his back, and had a torrid love affair with this slave – only to be caught by the king. To punish her, he turned her lover into a beetle, and the markech adornments were born! Quite the unique souvenir, they would be. But unfortunately, the shopkeepers even charged for you to take a picture of them, so I have none. Google-image search that ish if you’re so inclined.

Our lovely tour guide also told us the history of those white twin-chairs you see everywhere. Similar to the previous old-fashioned story, a father created these chairs so that his daughter could sit and talk with her lover, but they had a barrier between them so it wouldn’t go too far. And of course, the father could sit and watch them converse. How creepy and overbearing is that? #SmashthePatriarchy! Nonetheless, the seats are pretty cool and unique. Another standout image from Merida.

We ended the expedition at this great museum / artists’ residence in a converted old abode. Merida is a very popular city these days with young adults. It seems a bit hipster to me, actually. Very artsy and new-fashioned and up-and-coming. Like Bed Stuy. With artisanal ice cream shops owned by Polish immigrants to trendy art galleries to expensive espresso to La Negrita Cantina. It’s good stuff. Keidan really recommends it. Me, I didn’t love it, but I’m still glad I visited.

After that, I tipped the guide (since it’s not actually free, and she deserved it anyhow) then had to dash. I had bought my bus ticket the day prior for 1pm, and so happy I did, because every seat was taken, and all of the other passengers had kids and snacks and blankets with them. They’re resident pros, on the long bus ride from Merida to Cancun. Like 4-5 hours. Thank Dios there was air-conditioning.

Oooohh! Two funny stories. I bought the ticket from a travel agent off the main square, but due to my annoying frugality instincts, I missed out on a much cheaper one early in the morning, because I didn’t trust her word and walked to the bus station to check it out myself. And by the time I got back, there were no vacancies left. Of course. Don’t get me wrong, I like how I’m money-savvy and don’t go throwing it away – because then I can afford things I really care about (like travel) and not just be profligate with impulsive purchases or eating out – but it does annoy me sometimes. Just another characteristic of mine I’m working on.

Anyway, the funny story is that after I made the transaction, this woman asked me about my nail polish (which was orangey-red at the time). She spoke no English, so what was already a dicey conversation became more difficult. I told her I like the colour, and me gusta romper las expectaciones del género (I like to break gender expectations), and why not? She probably asked if I’m gay too, so I told her, “Soy bi,” pronounced like “bee.” Maybe I said “Estoy bi” ? I don’t exactly remember. Hispanoblantes – help me out here. Do you use ser or estar when discussing sexual orientation? Because sexuality is fluid sometimes, but for most people most times, it is a staid and consistent identity. So which is preferred?

Regardless. That’s me. Being a tiny bit gender non-conforming & educating about queer issues wherever I am! Can’t stop / won’t stop.

The other amusing anecdote is more cringey than funny. After the walking tour, I’m on the hunt for a cold coffee, so I can actually accomplish stuff on the long bus ride. Plus, it helps with the heat, and you know how I love my iced americanos. So I pass this place which has a sign promoting their special – a croissant and a coffee for, I dunno, 40 pesos? A good price – comparable to the other places, but with a lil pastry thrown in. I needed a snack too, so it was perfect. I go in, and inquire if I can get it to go, and order an iced espresso with un poquitito de leche and a croissant to this woman. And then this man comes over, and he asks for my order too, so I repeat it. He describes the croissants with more detail, so I order one with cheese and pesto. Uhmm, yes please!

It takes much longer than expected, and I’m fretting because I don’t want to miss my bus, and then he comes out with this big box – the croissant sandwich and fries and the coffee to go. And a bill, for much more than the sign said. And that’s where the chagrin/humour comes in. Apparently he told me the special was just a regular croissant (which is what I wanted, cool) but offered the other, fancier, pricier sandwiches, and since my Spanish is imperfecto, I didn’t follow that it wasn’t included in the deal. Even the coffee was more expensive! Because apparently he gave me a double, when I didn’t ask for it. Ugh. Like the guy who tried to rip me off / overcharge me for the cold brew in Tulum when all I wanted was espresso over ice.

So this guy doesn’t speak English and won’t back down. I tell him to get his manager – who also is only monolingual – and for the entire ordeal, I’m really stressing out about all the time it’s taking. I even considered just leaving everything there, giving a couple coins for the little bit of coffee I drank, and peacing the F out, because my departure was looming and I still had to collect my stuff from the hostel and then hustle to the bus station. I wasn’t trying to get chased by the policia, though, so I opted not to sip & dash. The manager sided with me and just charged me for the coffee (which was still more than their sign said, but whatever, I’m not going to squabble about a buck or two), so I paid up, kinda enjoyed how she let me do that when the other employee was so upset (why so pressed, bro?), and get the heck outta dodge.

Actually ran into the two older Canadian guys at the bus station, too, serendipitously – Robin and his travel companion – then got a lil snack of empanadas from an adorable old lady on the side of the road, and another coffee, then boarded that bus. Watched Scream Queens and listened to a podcast and eventually got back to where I started: Cancun.

Checked into the same hostel, was happy to see my amigos who work there again (Daniel, Martin, that Canuck guy with the tattoos and his wife), dropped my bag off, and found dinner. Went to La Res Sabrosa, by recommendation of Daniel (and corroborated by TripAdvisor), and enjoyed a phenomenal alambre – which, as Wiki says, is “grilled beef topped with chopped bacon, bell peppers, onions, cheese, salsa and avocado.” Kinda like the orden I got on my first day in Mexico – a make-your-own taco platter. Delicious.

Then I picked up some canned cocktails from the 7/11 across Avenida Tulum, hopped on the R2, and went to the Zona Hotelera. I first went to Playa Tortugas, where the bungee jumping place is, and managed to get there in time to actually see somebody jump and inquire about the process, rates, experience, etc. They told me I could do it right then, but after the dinner I just had, I didn’t think it was the best idea. Plus, I wanted to do it during the daytime, so I could enjoy the panoramic view from atop the tower. And to be honest, I was cowed. So I reserved my spot for the following day. Oh, and they even offered me a discount before I opened my mouth to ask about it. Immediately knocked ten off the price, for only $50 US. Now that’s a deal!

For the rest of the night, I wandered around the Zona, sat on the beach, sipped my drinks, read my book, watched some of the debauchery at the biggest clubs there (Coco Bongo, La Vaqueria, Mandala), and eventually meandered back to the hostel, where I chatted with the other guests and sat on the outdoor patio and ate everything up. What a life.

 

Day 12: Cancun & Bungee Jumping & Isla Mujeres

I woke up especially excited for the day. I enjoyed the breakfast, sun-screened, psyched myself up, grabbed an iced coffee, caught the shuttle, and headed straight for Playa Tortugas again – before I lost my nerve. Marched right to the Adventure Bay kiosk, signed the waiver, paid the fee, and took a couple minutes to gather my thoughts. But after I came all this way and announced it on Facebook and Snapchat and made my mind up, there’s no way I was backing down.

So I climb up the steep wooden stairs, get 80 feet above the water, and really enjoy the view. It’s gorgeous. White sand beaches, turquoise waters, the sun is shining, I have spectators watching from the beach below. I convince the instructor the take some pictures of me with my own phone – probably against the rules, but whatever – then get the photographer to carry it down safely for me. Get strapped into the ankle harness, and it’s surprisingly weighty – but that’s reassuring. You’re not dealing with peanuts safety features, here. And believe you me, I did my research into the company before signing up. I’m not a total idiot.

Then I pose for more pictures with the official photographer, squinting in the sun, and then walk the plank. The instructor is there the whole time, so I’m not completely scared out of my wits. He already told me all about how the process would go, what I had to do, the proper poses, etc. So I was prepared, and not scared. My heart might have been beating pretty fast, but I felt remarkably cool-headed. I get to the precipice of the wooden platform, toes gripping the very edge, and gaze out upon everything. It was such a remarkable sight, absolutely gorgeous. Paradise, heaven on earth, everything.

I wave at the people watching 80 feet below, spread my arms as I’m supposed to, and that’s when my heart jumps to my throat. I get an immediate surge of total terror, my instincts telling me that this is super stupid – but I’m positive it’s safe, and I watched other people do it, and I know that if I overthink it, I’ll get in my head and be too pusillanimous to do it. So I push the fear out of my mind and fall forward with zero hesitation. Legitimately – I wasted no time. And was impressed with myself for doing that, when I’ve suffered acrophobia for most of my life.

And, literally in the blink of an eye, the initial fall is over. I remember at the last second to go into the dive position, I splash down in the Caribbean Sea, then rebound back up, bungeed afloat, and bounce around a couple times. It’s hard to gauge where in space I am, since all the brilliant colours are blurring together, there’s salt water in my eyes, and I’m moving fast. I catch glimpses of the boats in the marina, the wooden tower, the beach, the sky and horizon and ocean, and before you know it – I’m reaching out to grab the ring they held out, catch it, and am slowly towed back to terra firma.

When I’m on my back on the pier, I immediately use the bottom of my “Living Young, Wild, and Free” frat tank top (SUCH a bro) to wipe my eyes of the seawater that got in them – and apparently everybody thought I was crying and taking care of my tears. Nope, that is not what happened. I loved every second of the bungee jump, and was disappointed that it was over and done with so soon! I definitely want to experience it again, but next time from higher up. This one was only 70-80’ of a plummet, which seems like suicide when you’re standing on the brink – but it all passes by in such a hurry. So I can’t wait to do it again.

I was the first daredevil of the day, too – so that was quite the way to shake up my morning!

And then, after riding the afterglow for a while, marveling that I had the courage to do that – when I was all alone and had nobody there to cheer or encourage me – I bought my ticket to Isla Mujeres, boarded the ferry, and sailed the ocean blue. They even had live music on the boat, which was pretty cool – this guy playing the guitar and singing covers in Spanish. Neato mosquito.

For those of y’all who don’t know, Isla Mujeres is a very popular tourist destination in Mexico. Common for those that get to the country via cruise ship. It’s famous for its snorkeling and scuba diving around a coral reef of it. But it also features this underwater museum called Musa – in which sculptures were created and then sunken to the ocean floor, for people to see through goggles and with air tanks. Awesome stuff, especially with how the various flora + fauna cover these statues and kind of “reclaim” them. It was established in order to compete with the reef, since all the tourism it receives takes a toll on the health of the coral and plants. Such a shame for that to happen, so I love this initiative they thought of. Where else can you go see art underwater? Probably somewhere, I’m sure, but it’s not too common.

However, I didn’t do any of this. It was my last day in Mexico, so I didn’t want to take out tonnes of pesos to afford all these expeditions and risk having leftover currency. My big #yolo expense was the bungee jumping, something I’ve been wanting to try for years, and the tattoo, which I’ll discuss later. So instead, I wandered around the town section of Isla Mujeres, which reminded me of Hilo, Hawaii. A nice beach town, baked by the sun, with lots of kitschy shops and restaurants with outdoor patios and people lazily walking around.

I hit up Playa Norte, which was highly recommended by the travel sites, and plunkered myself down in the shade of a palm. Read my book, enjoyed the sights, breathed in the fresh air and luxuriated in the sea breeze. Eventually I stashed my stuff in a bush and went in search of this mini-reef I overheard some Americans discussing on the ferry over. Splashed along in the water with my goggles and Speedo, swam underneath this bridge that connected the glitzy hotel Mia Reef to the rest of the island, and found an aquamarine wonderland. There were rocks out where the waves reach the lagoon, kinda like a natural breakwater, and all around them were all these adorable fish. I floated near them, loved their flashy colours, and even spotted some turtles, swordfish, and a flippin’ barracuda! Fortunately I escaped with all my limbs and bodily integrity.

Then returned to my stuff, which luckily was all still there (in addition to my fingers and toes), laid down on the beach to dry off, then went in search of food. Stopped in a store to ask a local for recommendations, but they place he advised was nowhere to be found. So I strolled down the pedestrian roads, checking out all the menus, and wow, was everything overpriced. Which goes hand-in-hand with how touristy the area is. To be expected. I ended up at the place that looked the most authentic. It was small, literally ran out of the kitchen of somebody’s residence, the menu was nothing fancy, and there were (what appeared to be actual) Mexicans eating there too. Always a good sign when the locals patronize the same restaurant!

I had guacamole and a quesadilla, and it was all delicious. They had a serve-yourself salsa and salad bar, as well, so I capitalized upon that too. I wish I knew the name of the establishment, to recommend to you all, but I can’t even find it on Google Street View. Ah well.

Then back to the ferry station, but I apparently misread my ticket and had to kill another 45 minutes. No problem, though! More exploring, got an iced espresso, and sat watching the boats go in and out of the marina / reading “Truly Madly Guilty.”

Then boarded the board, was treated to more live music on the ~sunset cruise~ back to the mainland, and I even managed to get back when Adventure Bay / the bungee jumping place was still open! So I went straight for the photographer’s stand and tried my best to haggle them down. The prices they charge for their photos is nigh criminal. $35 for like 30 photos? Yeah, it’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

The lowest he would go was $25 for the photos and the video for it, when I only wanted to give a twenty. So I played hardball, and was just like, “Well, fine, no deal. It’s either you take this $20 and give it to me, or I walk away, you delete the photos and make no money. They’re worth nothing to you. Might as well make some more cash before you close for the night.” And no, that was not all in Spanish, because I don’t think I’m that skilled at my second language (just yet). But it worked! And now I’m the proud owner of some hi-res pictures AND the video of me defying death! Yay!

Satisfied, I returned to the hostel, showered off, researched tattoo parlours, then struck out on the hunt. The place that was best reviewed was unfortunately closed when I finally managed to find it – after serendipitously running into my Canadian pal Robin (from Merida) AND wandering through a city fair / block party – so I stopped in this trendy-looking menswear store that sold expensive Speedos, asking for another recommendation. It happened to be just around the corner, so I headed straight to Placer y Dolor (Pleasure and Pain). Met with the artist and tried my best to explain the idea in Spanish, which was not as easy as it sounds, despite how simple the design was going to be. He quotes me a price, but again, I’m playing aloof – and it works out again! He immediately drops it down to about $40 US, if I do it tonight.

So I tell him, great, I need to take some cash out though. And I wanted to walk around and mull it over for a bit, before submitting to being poked with a needle many times over in an LDC with somebody who I couldn’t communicate with that well. But, you know what, I read the reviews, it had numerous positive testimonies, and whatever, no biggie. So I did it! And I have no regrets! It was quick, cheap, not excruciating, and still looks good! Yay!

I got the outlines of two equilateral triangles pointing to each other on the outside of my left wrist, where my watch goes (and can cover it if I need to). So it resembles a basic, geometric hourglass – but the upside-down triangle stands for queer pride as well, and the right-side up one represents delta, for change. And incidentally, the two of them together also mean fire and water, or balance / duality / etc – but that was just an extra +1, not the reason I went for that design. And now it’s tattoo #7! To tie up with my body piercings! (3 in each ear and 1 nipple)

Finally, with my ultimate night in Meh-hee-ko, I got some more cheap-ass tacos al pastor along Avenida Tulum, at the place the Kiwi Couple recommended way back when, then sat on the patio with the hostel workers / guests, and soaked in the lovely balmy night air one more time.

 

Day 13 & 14 & 15: Cancun + Montreal + Ottawa

Wake up, last hostel breakfast, grabbed my stuff, got a final iced americano, schlepped to the ADO station, got to hang out in the air-conditioned premium lounge reading about Drag Race, listen to the Brain Candy Podcast en route the airport, then only have about a half hour to wait at the gate (since it took me an unexpected while to check in at the counters, Dios knows why, I had only a carry-on). Have my layover in Philly, take my time walking through all the terminals looking for lunch, finally settle on an iced coffee and bagel from Au Bon Pain, the cashier says she thinks my conch piercing is cute and I’m adorable, aw thanks girl, then jetset to Montreal.

It takes forever going through customs, but eventually I make it through, hop on the shuttle to downtown, meet beautiful KyKy at Ganadara, grab the key, and finally relax when I get to his place. He surprises me a half hour later, as I’m sitting in just my underwear on the couch, resting before I got the energy up to shower – but he brought food from the restaurant! Awwww what a darling! ❤

Crash soon after, despite my intentions to go for a walk and experiencing the city that still feels like the most like home to me. Sleep like a log, wander round the city, indulge in another decadent but delicious poutine from Dirty Dogs, do some sightseeing, meet up with Ky & Mike MF Chan at Brutopia for a 5a7, love the raspberry beer, bus to the Mile End and hang out with Bren “G-Frog” Prouse for a lil while, play some Sm4sh, then metro to Atwater Forum to meet Ouliana to finally see Get Out (since Ottawa is severely lacking cinemas in its central core). We stroll back along Ste-Catherine afterward, get a quick bite from Burger King (I clearly was #cleaneating during these couple days), and plan how we’ll move her to Toronto during June. Well, guess what, that’s happening tomorrow! Believe it, squirrelfriend!

With my last day, more aimless walking around, get a banh mi with Melody (who out of nowhere gives me free nail polish – WOW thanks so much, the white paint is exactly what I wanted!) at the perennial Vua, grab coffee with Torchic, then get my rideshare back to lovely ol’ Ottawa. And the rest is history: the post-travel blues and unemployed doldrums and not loving my life situation, especially after how spectacular Mexico was.

 

—

 

And that’s that! The remainder of my travel blogging about Mexico. Who knows when the next exotic trip abroad will be? Not until November at the earliest, since that is when my casual contract with the Treasury Board ends.

Bi the gay, I had my first day on the job today – which I’ll discuss in more detail later – but a quick summary:

Everyone was very friendly, all the documents I was given to read (a huge amount) interest me, I have a nice private office/cubicle, it’s not hellishly open-concept, I met my colleagues and my boss’s boss, received uplifting and flattering advice from my supervisor, got the security badge to enter the buildings and my own laptop and email and login info etc and feel so legit about the whole thing. And ironically, the dream I had right before waking up at 7:30 this morning included my previous boss assaulting me and me feeling powerless to change it, but still giving an impassioned and affecting speech about it to the crowd gathered there. Hm, how telling is that, huh?

I now work Monday-Friday from 8:30-4:30, and it’s not micro-managey, and I don’t feel defeated or even that daunted by anything. I’m absurdly excited about it. Can’t wait to truly sink my teeth into this Diversity & Inclusion Task Force work! Yay!

 

Ciao for now. I’m off to gym, shower, and then head to Ernie’s for the RPDR Season 9 Finale with frands! Sickening!

 

Love y’all,

 

– Jefe

Peaks & Valleys: Returning to Ottawa; Job Interviews; Disappointments; & Exciting Opportunities on the Horizon (Including Potentially Being a Reality TV Star!!)

Jambo!

 

So it looks like I didn’t write up about the rest of my trip while I was in the airport. I only had about thirty minutes to wait until the plane started boarding, so I just read more of Liane Moriarty’s “Truly Madly Guilty.” And then when I had my layover in Philly, I took my time walking through all the terminals, looking for the best place to spend my US dollars on some food. Geno’s Steaks was too overpriced, I didn’t feel like supporting the homophobic practices of Chic-Fil-A, and so I just got an iced coffee and everything bagel with cream cheese from Au Bon Pain. You know, my go-to cheap snack since I’ve returned from living in Europe. And when I was in Montreal for a day and a half, I didn’t really prioritize updating my blog, since there were so many people to see… But since I’ve gotten back to Ottawa, there’s no excuse whatsoever.

It’s been a tough time, coming back to boring ol’ O-Town after the absolutely magical twelve days I had in Mexico. Not only is Ottawa a bit dreary and dull (and cold and grey), but it seems even more so in comparison to the sun-soaked, simultaneously exciting and relaxing trip I had in Yucatán. Meeting people, seeing beautiful places, trying new things, thrill-seeking, eating delicious and cheap food, hanging out on white-sand beaches and swimming in primordial cenotes… And then I return to my ostensible “home” and have essentially nothing. to. do. here.

And to make it even worse – it was Easter Weekend, so many/most of the people I wanted to see were out of town. AND establishments were closed, making Centretown even less happening than normal. Even yoga was cancelled, despite the fact it starts at 5:15 on Thursdays, and there is no such thing as Good/Easter/etc Thursday! So frustrating! Thank deity that my weekly Pandemic Legacy night came together last-minute and I was able to see the wonderful Colum, Luke, & Dean (even if we didn’t manage to win a fifth game in a row), so rushing back to Ottawa / leaving Montreal prematurely was not a completely unnecessary decision.

So I had a couple of hard days, struggling to find things to look forward to.

—

Whoops, didn’t finish or make much headway in this entry the day I started it. Now it’s past 4pm on a Saturday, I have zero plans this weekend, I’ve likely had too much caffeine, and I just disconnected my WiFi – so let’s get this thing banged out!

As aforementioned, Mexico was completely fenomenal, and I’ll write all about it soon. I want to record all the memories here so I don’t forget ‘em. I did manage to journal a lot down there – and read as well, 2.75 books – since I was spending less time on the computer, enjoying the weather, dining at restaurants solo, etc. It provided for that productivity.

But for now, I want to get life updates out of the way. Since I’ve been back, I haven’t really done much of import, and it sucks. That is not to say I haven’t seen some friends and had some great times, don’t get me wrong. Things are not totally dreadful and I am not completely down in the dumps. Part of my mood these days is post-vacation blues, of course. Going from living life to the fullest and seizing the day, back to the minutiae and monotony of my normal life. And without a job or any true involvements to mark the passing days, they’ve mostly run together. Essentially all I do anymore is sleep too much, (binge) watch (trash) TV, read up on things/waste time online, do my ten-minute fitness circuit, and… Dream about the future, I suppose.

So I have no plans this weekend, but that is alright, because I have the palliative of RuPaul’s Drag Race (both seasons 2 & 9) and Big Brother Canada 5 to mollify me (and after . And I can squeeze out some sense of accomplishment from the daily mini workout; reading a bit of my new book (Drinking: A Love Story); eating healthy (spicy Thai stir-fry); doing the Metro crossword; (finally) getting an OHIP card – and calling the hospital to (finally) set up that MRI, to confirm everything in my brain is truly fine, post-encephalitis – and, inchallah, updating this blawg & filing my taxes. And who knows? Maybe some spontaneous plans with friends will come thru, though of course, I’m not holding my breath.

Since I’ve been back, I guess I’ve been a little pessimistic – but to be honest, it feels more like realism, since life can truly suck sometimes. I’ve just been anticipating being disappointed, since the opposite of that is my kryptonite. That is, I often get my hopes up about something, think it’s going to be amazing, and when things don’t reach my (often unrealistic) expectations – I get down, disappointed, crushed. And I know I do that, so I have been trying to manage / lower my expectations. As they say, “hope for the best, but expect the worst.” And, wouldn’t you know it – I’ve been gratified in so doing. Not that it’s particularly satisfying.

In that vein, FIVE times this past week, I had plans with people that were cancelled / postponed the morning of. It happened on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, AND Friday. Don’t get me wrong – these rainchecks were not without their good reasons (exams, essays, exhaustion, etc) – but it is still frustrating and disappointing, since I was looking forward to them. Maybe I should look on the bright side: they were not called off outright, but rather just pushed back to another day. But it’s often meant that the only thing I had planned for a certain day fell through, leaving me with nothing. So, what have I filled it with? The aforementioned pastimes.

And please indulge me one more line of complaint before I move on. In addition to weekly yoga at GayZone, another reason I hurried back to Ottawa last Wednesday night was because I had an interview on Thursday morning, the thirteenth. Which kind of just landed in my lap, the night before my flight back to Canada. I was on my email to check in online and realized I had missed a message from a couple days prior – and it turned out to be a very important one!

Dr. Spencer J Harrison, the Ontario Director for Camp fYrefly, wanted to interview me to be the Coordinator for two arts-based resiliency camps – one for LGBTQ+ youth and another for First Nations adolescents – which are occurring for the first time in Ontario this summer. He is already impressed with my experience and credentials, and thanked me for my contributions to the (queer) community heretofore. I had sent the organization an email back in early February, inquiring if they had any paid positions (since many camps for queer young people only operate with volunteers). And that evidently qualified as me proactively expressing my interest in the initiative – which makes total sense, of course, since what else would my email be considered? – but that wasn’t my actual intention. It was around the time things at the CCGSD started truly affecting me, so I was putting out feelers and seeing what else was around that could potentially be a future avenue for my career.

Regardless. The upshot is that I reached out to them directly, and not simply in response to a job posting or ad they had on their site. Two others did the same, and in lieu of going through the application process, Dr. Harrison decided to simply interview the three of us for the Coordinator position. So that Thursday morning, my first day back, I spoke with him for an hour and forty-five minutes on the phone. Told him about myself, discussed my experience and ambition, walked him through how I would handle certain scenarios, learned more about the camp and the job, and really believe I impressed – or at the very least, performed satisfactorily. I mean, why else would he take nearly two hours out of his day to talk to me otherwise? I was apparently saying something he liked – so, naturally, I have a good feeling about it.

I asked him about the timeline for the hiring process (because of course), and he told me, as I was the last person he had to speak with, he would decide by Monday. However, I haven’t heard anything since that initial interview. I sent a follow-up email on Thursday night, hoping I might get a response on Friday sometime, but nope, nada. So I guess I’ll (have to) be patient until this coming Monday. Normally, I wouldn’t be as pressed about it – since it does seem like an amazing opportunity and two weeks is standard operating procedure – but he told me on the phone that, if I am offered the gig, I would be expected to start the job in the beginning to middle of May… Which is only 1-3 weeks away at this point!

Oh, and did I forget to say? The job is in Peterborough. Meaning I would be relocating for work once again, to a place I’ve never been and where I don’t know a single person. (And everything I’ve heard about Peterborough isn’t marvelous – that it’s even smaller and duller than Ottawa, and undoubtedly more conservative too)

Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW I could do it, and manage to make yet another home for myself, and it would (in all likelihood) be completely worth it for the work I’d be doing. I would have much more responsibility than I’ve ever had for a job, and I am sure I would rise to the occasion, kick butt, and make myself and Spencer proud. The problem is… I just got settled here in Ottawa, and I don’t want to throw away everything I’ve built just yet. While I am not totally over the moon with O-Town, it’s the best I got for now, and I do have people I care about and weekly routines I enjoy (trivia, Pandemic, yoga, etc). I’m not psyched to give that all up so soon.

And this job with Camp fYrefly is only a four-month commitment. So I would be moving for a relatively short-term opportunity. And while it is absolutely true that it could very possibly be a springboard to my career and lead to future involvement, fulfillment, and success in coming years – since Dr. Harrison aims to establish eight camps in the next five years and I would be “getting in on the ground floor” – is such a deracination worth it for me, at this juncture in my life? I am honestly not sure. It doesn’t help that I don’t have all the details about the position, since there never was a job posting and I didn’t actually apply. So, again, all I can do is wait to hear back from him. And I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Furthermore – it’s not like I’m completely bereft of other opportunities, either. I still have a positive sense / good ~vibe~ about something coming through with Louise M, and maybe (fingers crossed) a governmental gig involved with Diversity & Inclusion or employment equity will materialize. I also emailed her this past week, to follow up on the wondrous tete-a-tete we had about five weeks ago. Also no reply yet from her, but my pal Michael G tells me it’s a very busy time for the Treasury Board, and so I’m not fussed about that. (Because she never promised me anything or gave me a specific day or deadline where she would get back to me, so I’m not really expecting anything, you know?)

And finally, this past Tuesday, I HAD A PHONE INTERVIEW WITH SOMEBODY INVOLVED WITH CASTING FOR A NEW REALITY TV SHOW. I saw a tweet from Mark Long – Road Rules OG, Challenge Champion, and smokin’ hot 45-year-old – about casting for a new show on MTV, about twentysomethings living in Austin, Texas. Like a mixture between The Real World and The Hills. And I figured, why the hell not? I don’t have much going on here in Ottawa, I’ve heard only great things about Austin, and I will definitely make for some compelling TV. An LGBTQ+ professional, outgoing, extroverted, unique upbringing, silly, sassy, friendly, funny, honest to a fault, intellectual, maybe a touch elitist, strong opinions and a loud mouth, pretty-masc-but-still-wears-nail-polish, with some emergent interests that might be taboo (leather, drag, burlesque)… So ABSOLUTELY I should be on national television. Queer visibility, amirite?

And also, I truly believe I have good, important things to say, teach, discuss, and call attention to, via mass media. I mean, on the phone call with the casting director, I taught her what “pansexual” means – and we only chatted for about twenty minutes. SO, please keep your fingers crossed for me, about that (and also fYrefly and something with Louise, of course). Because it would be amazing, hands down. A new adventure, living in an exciting city (rent-free, to boot!), cohabitating with other outgoing and interesting and exuberant/slightly ridiculous people, and maybe even potentially having a platform to promote LGBTQ+ identities and human rights. Seems like a dream, no? So I’m extremely jubilant, buoyant, amped up about that. And remembering all of this – recalling the email response I got from them and when my phone rang with a California number – has really perked me up. That, and the sun streaming through my window, new music I just downloaded (a group called Crywolf), and chatting with some loved ones – and now I’m feeling pretty great. Yay! Catharsis and introspection and re-evaluating my priorities and realizing that I am, in fact, a very blessed person with a thoroughly fortunate life (even if it is a tad unexciting in its current state).

Alright, quickly before I close: I went with my pal Michael to the National Arts Centre last weekend, and we saw Vigilante together. It was a rock opera about family, loyalty, old country customs, and cold vengeance, all within an Irish clan. And let me tell you: it was fantastic. Truly riveting, great music, amazing voices, cute accents and dialects (“ma” and “da” and “aye” and “bloody”), hot steampunk/S&M outfits, attractive actors, entertaining choreography. There was nothing not to like! I wholeheartedly recommend it! Go see it!

So that was definitely a bright point in the past two weeks, since returning from Mexico. And, if you’re reading this: thank you, Michael, for making my Saturday noteworthy. I appreciate it!

And to the rest of you – thanks for reading/wading through my low points, my white whining, glimpses of hope for the future, self-assured rambling, work woes, etc. Your support means the world.

Life isn’t all bad. Watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with Colum etc last night, re-meeting & befriending Tony, winning Pandemic Legacy on Tuesday, getting drinks with Nick W, the ACO Clothing Swap, returning to yoga, some warm weather… Things could be a lot worse.

And on that note – I’m going to go enjoy the sun! Have a great one y’all.

Love always,

– Jefe ❤

Fortune Favours the Bold: Life in the Fast Lane

Hey y’all,

Man, has it been forever since I’ve written. Almost two months to the day! [And that is only if I manage to finish this entry the day I started it]

There is so much to say, that I don’t even know where to begin.

The weather here in Ottawa has been wild recently. It was +10° last week and sunny. I went on a long walk to Hintonburg and back on Sunday, to enjoy the warmth and sun. Listened to an episode of the Brain Candy Podcast and actually explored my new city a bit. I have been here three months and I’m not sure if it feels like home yet.

Granted, Ottawa is not as dreadful as many people make it out to be. I am happy here, and there are numerous things I like about it so far. And that’s despite the fact that I arrived at the tail end of November, when everything is grey, dull, and dead. People say Ottawa winters are brutal (and also that this one is remarkably mild/uncharacteristic), and you all know how much I love winter. It was certainly not fun being in temperatures below -20° again – I did not miss winter. Being in Glasgow, even with all the rain, was a pleasant way to spend November-March because it was not frigid.

So I’m glad we are getting back to some reasonable weather now. Various people have told me spring is here for good, but I’m not going to get my hopes up just yet. The forecast for Saturday has a low of -18°, without the wind chill. So I won’t pack my parka away just yet.

—

What do I like about Ottawa? Well, I have made some quality friends here and several enjoyable routines. Mondays I go to trivia with Amy, Erika, Allyson, Thierry, and the rest of “The Mutts” (because they know each other through the dog park) at the Royal Oak on Kent. I love pub quizzes, and it’s nice to hang out with some hetero people sometime. With that being said, though – we never win, and the food and drinks at the Oak are neither that cheap nor that good. So I look forward to seeing all those folks every week and playing along, but I feel like I’m wasting my money at such a subpar institution.

I’ve also had an interest in being a trivia host for a while, so I figured – why not try to become that? Fortune favours the bold, right? So I asked our existing host, who recommended I email this guy Paul, so I did… And badda boom, badda bing, I went to an audition last week, and led my first trivia game last night! Yay!

And similarly, I also picked up another involvement recently. I am now a member of the Board of Directors with the Lambda Scholarship Foundation Canada! Yay!

—

So. Of course I didn’t end up the update when I started writing it. It’s actually been more than a week from when I began. That’s what happens, man!

Having a full-time job is exhausting! I don’t know how people do it! Work all day, do all the stuff after that you need to do to survive (cook, clean, laundry, errands), maintain some semblance of a social life, get some exercise, sleep enough, and still have time / energy to do extra stuff? C’mon! I’m not superhuman!

That’s why it’s taken me so long to update my blog. It’s why I haven’t joined a gym and gotten back to lifting. I haven’t written in my journal since, like, November. My reading-for-pleasure has massively slowed down, from the book a week I was managing from September onwards. I haven’t played more of Twilight Princess since the holidays. My passport expires in May and I haven’t filed to renew it yet. Haven’t researched or applied for a new credit card; still in the process of transferring from ScotiaBank to Tangerine; need to close down my bank accounts in Glasgow and Quakertown; should try to get an OHIP card and book that MRI; would like to move into my own place….

Life is too much sometimes. But I also believe that people just get used to it. That they adapt to working 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week and still having the time/energy/wherewithal/desire to do things besides work. It’s like with working out. It’s super tiring and taxing when you first start, but then you build up strength, resistance, and stamina… And then things aren’t that hard.

So that’s my deep hope, because I don’t want to live the rest of my life being constantly exhausted. It’s true that I could go to bed at an earlier time and get more sleep, but that’s not very fun. I keep my time outside of work pretty damn busy, and that’s how I like it. Gives me stuff to look forward to and a reason to get up in the morning.

Like I said, Monday is trivia. That’s continued to go well. I picked up a second event this week, so that was fun.

As it currently stands, I don’t have anything regular on Tuesdays. Might fill it in with some athletic pursuit: Ottawa has numerous queer recreational sports leagues, and I’m still interested in kickboxing or something of the sort. I sometimes see friends or go on dates, too. Smash Bros with Colum, Julia, Fady, or Tommy; dinner with Elena; meeting people from Tinder/networking/mutual friends for coffee, etc. However… It’s nice having a night off sometimes. I can relax, mindlessly surf the ‘Net (reading about The Challenge or checking out submissions for monthly RCT2 contests), and watch a couple episodes of a TV show. I recently started RuPaul’s Drag Race and absolutely love it. So much of it to catch up on, too! I watched all of Season 4 (Phi Phi, Sharon, Willam, Latrice, Chad) and just began Season 3 last night.

I just finished the Scream series too, which I also highly enjoyed. Will go through the second season of Scream Queens soon enough, and then probably more RPDR after that. I’ve been watching Are You the One? Season 5 and The Challenge: Invasion as well, naturally – and am competing in the fantasy leagues for both of them. As of this past week, I’m in fourth place for the former and first for the latter. Hope I keep on keepin’ on!

For Wednesdays, I play Pandemic: Legacy with three great guys – Colum, Luke, and Dean. Only met L and D in the context of the game, back in mid-January, and had only hung out with C once before… But I like them all a lot, and we get along famously. It’s definitely something for me to look forward to each week. We are coming off three consecutive victories and are now in “June.” So fun! And if we finish soon enough, we often play another game. Like Sushi Go Party, Splendour, Codenames, etc. Col has quite the collection, so there’s lot of choices there.

On Thursdays, I go to yoga at GayZone. It’s a very chummy atmosphere, and I’ve made several friends with other yogis (Denis, Francois, and the instructor Joa). I have also gotten much better at it, which makes me feel great – both the fitness benefits and the realization that I’m improving! My downward dog ain’t half bad, I can actually touch my toes now during the forward fold / sun salutation, and I’ve managed to do tree pose like a pro! I love it.

And then the weekends – and in between all my other commitments – are for whatever I want.

This is often board games, of course. Besides work and reading about The Challenge, that is the majority of what I’ve been doing with my time here in Ottawa. I have fortunately made a good amount of friends who share this passion, and a select few who have amazing collections. Notably Tim Jolly, but also Jayme, Colum, Owen, and Jason. These gaming groups are predominately gayming groups, populated by queer men, and they often overlap. There’s a quartet of me-Owen-Jason-Vanessa, the Pandemic Legacy Lads, Luke’s Werewolves/etc gang, and games at Tim’s fairly regularly. Mostly Arkham Horror, of course, but others too – including Drawful, a goofy one run via smartphones and his TV.

I’m so glad to have found others who are as interested in board games as I am. It’s definitely one of my favourite things to do in life, and I think it’s absolutely time well spent. I’ve got to play a lot of new ones, too, which I’m excited about. There’s so many options, and with the great people I know, I don’t really have to spend any money trying them! Yay.

I’ve also gotten very involved in the queer community here. Of course, my job lends itself to that, but I have also made a concerted effort to get out there and meet people. This was especially the case last week, which had all the “Snowblower” events. It’s a week of programming that occurs every year organized by the AIDS Committee of Ottawa and partner organizations. An important collaborator this time ‘round was MAX, which is the rebranded Ottawa Gay Men’s Wellness Initiative. I actually attended the focus group to help them come up with this new name, as part of my hours for the week. So happy I did too, as I’ve met some great people as a result of that – Derek, Roberto, Francois, Robert, Matthew. Last Thursday was the Launch Party for the rebranding, at City Hall, which was a lot of fun.

Last Wednesday, I attended a full-day workshop about mental health for service providers who work with GBTQ2S+ men, and then went to an educational event that evening about other types of wellbeing for queer men (informed partying, PrEP, safer sex, refugees). On that Friday, I hit up a panel about LGBTQ+ issues in Islam with my amazing coworker Kai, and then went with him (and Riyadh and Colin) to the “Hella Glitter” Magnet Party the following day. Hung out with friends from the Ottawa Wolves (an inclusive rugby team), waw Tricky Ricky perform boylesque, helped raise money for people living with HIV, and got my first-ever glitter beard!

All of those events were with Snowblower, and I enjoyed them all. Got some yummy free food, learned a bunch, and most importantly – networked and met a lot of inspiring people. Zac, David, Adam, Mego, Imad, Francis, Mick.

I went to the annual networking social with Start Proud recently as well, three weeks ago, which used to be called “Out in the Capital” and is the Ottawa branch of Out on Bay Street. Didn’t know anybody there at all (same with the OGMWI focus group too), but thankfully, people were friendly, and I made some new connections that I value. For Start Proud, it was Derrick, Greg, Nick, Tamir, and Esteban specifically.

And now, when I go to community events, I almost always know at least one person. So it seems I have my foot in the door, and that I am definitely making a name for myself here in Ottawa – even if it hasn’t yet been four months since I moved here!

I’ve also taken two weekend trips to Montreal since I last updated. I stayed with the beautiful Brendan Prouse / “G-Frog” and his roomie Babs both times, and enjoyed their company – so many thanks to the two of you! I went to an amazing Purity Ring DJ set, played Smash Melee, saw the usual suspects (Mike Chan, Torch, Julia, Enbal, Ky, Jeff, Melody, Ale), saw Bren playing inner tube water polo, enjoyed brunch with E & V, walked around a lot, had delicious poutine from Dirty Dogs, munched on banh mis, laid on Julia’s floor and gabbed, and even went on a Quidditch apartment crawl. And what a blast from the past that was! I ran into some people I didn’t think I’d ever see again – Nathan, Corey, Laurent, Grace, Renzetti, Julien, Gel – played some great drinking games (SlapCup, Flong), and proved that I am still a competitor! Despite all the years removed.

It’s so convenient that Montreal is just a two hours’ drive away. And also that I still have phenomenal friends there, who are generous and understanding and oh-so-sweet. And it’s wild how much more it feels like home than Ottawa. At least, for the time being. With impending spring, I plan to do a lot more exploring the city. Walking around, listening to podcasts, and seeing all Ottawa has to offer. I’m sure it’s a great town and that I will love it – but the fact that I arrived in the dead of winter has not helped it feel like home, because it’s been too damn cold to truly wander around the streets. Oh, and I was right, when I began this entry. Both last and this weekend have been brutal. It felt like -26 today, even though we are “springing forward” the clocks for DST, and the season officially starts in a week. I am sick to death with the frigidity and icy wind and snow. So ready for the warmth to come, finally. So I can’t wait for that, and I do believe I’m start liking Ottawa even more when that (eventually) happens. Something to look forward to.

I also hang out with Sasha, Elena, and Eleanore, let me know forget them! Three lovely ladies who I am lucky to know and am very happy that they live in the same city as me! Yay!

And have been spending time with / getting to know / growing really close with my coworkers. Kai, of course, and Eliot, and Katie, and Sarah, and Mylene! Such fab people that enrich my life in so many ways.

—

Alright, this entry is getting a little long – and I haven’t even touched upon the job yet. I suppose I’ll do that in my next entry, in two-ish weeks.

Suffice it to say, just as I expected, I enjoy the work so much more when I’m actually leading workshops in the community, spreading awareness and education, and interacting with people face-to-face. It’s true that I am changing lives, and maybe (likely) even saving some. Since my first week back in January, I have trained more than 500 people about LGBTQ+ issues and identities, and queer experiences and inclusion in sports. This has been in Chatham, Ontario (my coworker and I drove down there in a rental car through a blizzard on January 10^th) and around Ottawa – with  middle, high, and alternative schools, community adults and coaches, and future teachers in the Faculty of Education at uOttawa. I have received absolutely phenomenal feedback from students, teachers, and other participants in my trainings, and I’ve loved it. I have also met many great people in the field of sports inclusion through my position with the Canadian Centre for Gender & Sexual Diversity, such as Matt Allen, Spider Jones, William Bridel, and Kate Moorhouse (of the Canadian Olympic Committee). It’s been a great experience, and if I could go back and change it, I would still take the job.

However, with that being said – I have resigned from my post as the Sports Inclusion Coordinator with the CCGSD. And I am currently working my final five weeks, until March 31^st, to finish up my involvement there. I volunteered to do this, to aid with the transition to a new coordinator of the program – to help interview, hire, and train my successor so that the program doesn’t suffer and that it’s a smooth segue for the future of Sports Inclusion.

I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty details of why I decided to do this, but I am comfortable and confident with my vacating the position. I have various applications pending, meetings organized for the future with potential supervisors, lots of networking contacts, and a positive feeling about everything.

Actually, I recently had the brainwave that I should develop “my brand,” create a website, and become a motivational speaker / educator consultant as my next career move. For people to reach out to and hire themselves, for public speaking engagements and other initiatives. I saw Peter Joynt speak and perform (he’s an Ottawa-based rapper with a stutter) on Thursday, at a Wellness Day for Frederick Banting Alternative School, and he really inspired me. I have a lot (of good) to say, so why not broadcast that and get paid for it? It’s definitely a possibility for the future.

For now, though – I’m going to go bake some zucchini and eggplant with tomato sauce and cheese, then watch more of RPDR Season 3. Glad I finally got this done!

Hope all of you are well, and that you didn’t miss me too much.

Until next time! [Which will probably be in early April, unless I take a spontaneous trip down to Central America, as I’ve been considering recently]

Love + light,

– Jefe

12 Days in Orlando, 2.75 Weeks in Montreal, & 1 Amazing Job in Ottawa

Ahoy,

It’s been a while since I updated (again; I’m incorrigible). So let’s get you caught up.

I ended up spending almost three weeks in Montreal, and I loved it. I was originally intending to leave around the first or second of November, after Halloweekend. I had this feeling that I should return to Nova Scotia, but I couldn’t really explain it. I think it was an instinct of prudence and modesty, that staying in Montreal longer than two weeks was “extravagant” and, indeed, unnecessary – and that it would be less expensive, safer, and more ascetic to go back to St. Margaret’s Bay, stay with my parents, and live my quiet life. I was very ambivalent about it and not sure what to do. I also felt guilty for staying with “Cute Lil Ky” and “Keidy-Keids” for too long, knowing that they would never tell me to get out, even if I had overstayed my welcome. Sure, I strove to be a good guest, not bothering them when they had to study, doing my own thang and not requiring their constant attention or company, cleaning up after myself, and contributing to the household – buying TP, washing dishes, and the like. But still, I had a nagging worry (magnified by Enbal’s hard truths and perceptiveness), which contributed to the feeling that I should return to Halifax. The usual second-guessing when traveling also hit me – knowing that I’d be more comfortable and spending less money if I were just “home,” and recognizing that my normal boring life was dull, sure, but it was good-enough and survivable.

Anyway. Like I typically do when faced with indecision and inner turmoil, I turned to my friends to figure it out. Listened to them explain how there’s no real strong reason for me to go back to NS, since I don’t have much going on (t)here, and had them remind me that despite some boring afternoons, waking up and spending time alone, I was still having more fun in Montreal than I would in Boutiliers Point. I made damn sure that Ky + Keidan were okay with me staying longer, too, and after that… I absolved myself of guilt! I extended my stay until November 7^th and caught a rideshare back – with the same driver that I traveled up with, actually! And by remaining in La Belle Province an extra week, I got to attend dear Melody and Akiva’s birthday gathering, FINALLY see Enbal again (it had been sixteen months, since I caught encephalitis and couldn’t meet her in Vienna like we planned on), play some new board games with V, E, & MC (Mike Chan), check out the Korean place Ky+Keid work at, and just spend more time with friends and enjoy being young and unfettered, in the city that was my home for six fabulous years! So, 100%, it was the right decision.

What else did I do in Montreal?

• Caught up with Torch at Provigo and then saw The Girl on the Train with her – good movie, good book (though nothing ground-breaking or monumental).
• Played Settlers of Catan twice with JJJ/Liam/Canada/SassNation, his girlfriend Rachel, Torch, E, and V – and won both times.
• Had a yummy dinner at L’Academie with Mikey and Sarah.
• Celebrated my and Nick Backman’s birthdays with a small soiree at Ky’s place and then with a four-course dinner at a Mauritian place (Aux Iles Bleues).
• Enjoyed 25¢ wings and beer with Danny Leung and Chloe (and her sorority sisters), then crashed a Karaoke Night with Queer Concordia. My best performances: “Fergalicious,” “MILF $,” (both by Fergie) and “Loaded” by Amber Rose. #shameless
• Went to two Halloween parties, one in St-Henri and the other in Ville friggen Saint-Laurent. My costumes were a tuxedo guy/dead waiter/Tuxedo #Masc4Masc one night, and a skeleton/skull the other. Thanks to Sephora for the makeup and nail polish for the former, and Ouliana for the vegan black lipstick for the latter! Also thanks to the hosts of the party (Cynthia, all that food you made was the bomb!) and a special shout-out to INNA for always be willing to talk to me about The Challenge & The Real World!
• Watched the third Presidential Debate with her, too, and Der-Bear So.
• Schlepped myself to the Mile-End to meet up with Mike Chan and his visiting Torontonian friends at the Sparrow first, and later to Dieu du Ciel – my first time being there, if you can believe. I ordered the rose-hibiscus beer, which was pink, unsurprisingly. Might a “lady’s drink” (throwback to aperitivo at ‘Gusto in Rome!), but I really enjoyed it.
• The other board games I played were Codenames, Betrayal at House on the Hill, and Jaipur, at Randolph’s jeux de société I enjoyed all of them, of course – but especially Betrayal, which I can’t wait to play again!
• I went to Ganadara with Ky, Mikey, and Brendan Gordon – tried bibambap for the first time! – and saw BG another time, with Ben/Murph, E, & V again, this time at the Thompson House.
• I climbed the mountain and took cliché photos off the Belvedere, and I wandered around the Village and Old Port at other times too.
• I attended Logan’s Horror Movie Marathon on Halloween Eve, got to see him, Anna, & Aviva – all superb people – and loved it. He went to my version of this event back in 2010, right when we were becoming friends – and now it comes full circle! They watched The Witch, Don’t Breathe, and Goodnight Mommy/Ich Seh Ich Seh, but I only arrived for the last two. DB is worth a watch, but I was very disappointed by GM. I had heard so much about it and thus had high expectations – and they didn’t meet them. Too slow and art-house for me. But that’s fine, you can’t like everything.
• Had a brunch potluck with Hurricane Matthew (Julia, Enbal, Ky, Keidan, Victoria, Derek, Alistair, Melody, Jeff, Ale – unfortunately Nick and Akiva didn’t attend) on my last day there, and loved it [even if people didn’t like the green salad I brought 😡 ]. As per usual, so many inside jokes arose then – which is definitely one of my favourite things about HM/HP. Love all of you!
• Saw the Ghostbusters (female) reboot with Alejandra, Tsareena, and Jeffrey while sharing a Free Fido cupcake and munching on homemade banana-chocolate chip muffins. Very yummy. The movie was ehh, but I still enjoyed it. We just shouldn’t’ve watched the extended cut of it. So many jokes fell flat.
• Had a sick day one day, so I read my Kindle (Slade House and then Fight Club) and hung out in the hot tub. Then, later I groaned and moaned alongside Keidan, who also wasn’t feeling good. Cute Lil Ky made us ramen and bought some snacks for us though – ADORABLY! – and that helped everything, and I loved it so much. What a sweet guy! 😀
• Took a long walk during a particularly balmy day, along the Lachine Canal, through Griffintown, wandered around the Alexis Nihon Centre, visited Ky+Keidan at work, strolled through campus, and bought a banh mi for dinner at the end. Made for some great photos, which later became #InstaFire. All those #fallcolours!
• Hung out with Brendan Prouse at his new sublet and had a great time. Talked all about Pokemon S&M (Sun & Moon – get your mind out of the gutter) and the death of Vine and Tinder profiles and Halloween costumes etc etc. He’s such a great guy, ADORE him.
• Went with classic ol’ Sabrina to the Anticafe, this really cool institution right off Place des Arts. It’s the opposite of a café in that everything (the coffees, teas, snacks, etc) are free and you can take as much as you want – you just have to be sure to clean up after yourself/bus your own dishes. And instead of prices for these consumables, you pay “rent” for however long you stay there. $3 for the first hour and $2 for every subsequent one – up to a max of $9 per day, I think. Plus tax and tip, naturally. It’s a VERY cool idea and I fully recommend it to anybody visiting Montreal. I had a cappuccino, a latte, hummus, and gummies, sat for two hours downtown, caught up with lovely Sabrina, and only had to pay like $5.50! It’s awesome.

Hmm… I think that might wrap things up! I didn’t do something notable every day, but since I was staying with two such wonderful people, those days I didn’t do much weren’t wasted. I still got to hang out / catch up with friends and got my social-extroverted needs filled, just by their positive presence! So, in addition to all the other things you two so graciously provided for me, Ky+Keidan – thank you so much for being great people who make me smile, laugh, and be grateful for humanity in general. Keep on keepin’ on, you stars! 😀

The ride home was pretty momentous too. I went with Francis again, this time sans another passenger and without his two cute dogs! Made things more comfortable, and it also meant I got to have conversation with him. He’s a good guy, and I’m so glad I met him. Not only did he shuttle me to and from Halifax for only $100 each way, he is a decent human being that is worth knowing. On the way, though, we had another misadventure. En route to Montreal, he got pulled over for speeding and was slammed with a ticket – annoying and unnecessary, of course – but what occurred on the return trip was so much worse. He had borrowed the car from his buddy, and 7km from the border to New Brunswick, we once again were pulled over – except this time he was well within the speed limit. Apparently, his friend’s license is suspended, meaning his car is not able to be driven in Quebec. So the officer was saying to Francis that we had to vacate the car and find another way to our destination, even if we were on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere – which would’ve been horrible! I would’ve managed, by riding to Edmunston and then catching a bus to Halifax, but still, that absolutely wouldn’t’ve been ideal. So, somehow, by some miracle, the cop came up with a solution. This law only applies in Quebec, evidently – so we just had to hire a tow truck to bring us across the border to NB, and then we could go on our merry way! Legitimately! Thank my lucky stars for that, because I really did not want to figure out that cauchemar.

But besides that little misstep, the ride back was fab. Beautiful autumn day with good company on an affordable method to return to Halifax, and we made great time. I was dropped off in a Tim Horton’s parking lot, and Mum picked me up literally less than five minutes later. It was perfect! And on the way, I finished reading Fight Club, started Jurassic Park, took a couple naps, listened to some episodes of the Brain Candy Podcast, practiced my French, and essentially enjoyed the trip.

And my time since being home has been good, too. I’ve played lots of board games (2x Carcassonne with Dad, winning both; 2x Dominion Intrigue+Prosperity with him again, winning those two as well; 2x Intrigue+Seaside with Mum and Dad, winning 1 but Marilyn clinching the other victory; 3x Intrigue+Seaside+Prosperity with Dustin, only victorious once); got my six-week-old foot tattoos touched up for free; had my first dental appointment in 3.75 years (such a relief); went for coffee with dear Fiona; played Sm4sh with Bryson and their roommates for 3 hours; got some quality sleep; worked out again; took a lovely walk to the beach and back; went to a Mexican restaurant with my extended family for a belated birthday dinner and highly enjoyed their company; finished watching Big Brother Canada 2 (Neda deserved that win); saw a horrid horror film (I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House) with Dustin and his friends, but still had a good time thanks to all our joking and laughs throughout it; witnessed the election and liked that even less; and attended a low-key party at Bryson’s last night with Fiona. All (mostly) good stuff!

And as for now – I’m in the Halifax airport, waiting to board the plane to Orlando. Mum was going on a 12-day trip down there anyway, so she already had the accommodations figured out, and I found round-trip tickets two days in advance for only $430 Canadian. Again, I was torn as to whether I should go, since I just got back from Montreal and probably should spend some time with friends and family before jetting off again – but again, I asked my friends for help with my decision. And once again, they came through for me. There is no real strong reason for me to stay in Nova Scotia, since the things that would keep me here can happen over the holidays, which are soon enough. When’s the next time I’ll get the opportunity to go on a vacation, especially to such a sunny and tropical location for that ridiculously reasonable price? If I’m going to be doing not-much-of-anything for the next two weeks in St. Margaret’s Bay, why not do that in the Sunshine State, soaking in the warmth and getting some Vitamin D? I can read books and catch up on journaling (and blogging) and relax there just as well in Florida as Canada – or even better – and that’ll have some more excitement and adventure for me! So #YOLO, right? The weather there is sunny and in the high 20s (Celsius, of course), so I can’t wait! Yay!

And finally (we’re boarding soon) – I GOT THE JOB IN OTTAWA!! I had two interviews that I felt good about while I was in Montreal (over Skype) and gave them my references, and waited patiently but anxiously for them to get back to me. And I finally got that email I was hoping for on Friday, after the marvelous Mexican dinner with the fam! So I am the new Sports Inclusion Coordinator for the Canadian Centre for Gender and Sexual Diversity! And I’m so, so, SO excited about it! I don’t know for sure yet, but I believe I begin in 2-3 weeks. So now that I’ll be starting my career, beginning a 9-5, then it’s even better that I’m headed to Kissimmee now! Everything seems to be going well for me, and I am so grateful, humbled, fortunate, happy. Let’s hope it continues for the time being, and Mum and I have a fantastic time down in Florida.

For now, though – I gotta go! I’ll write more about the job and everything later on.

All the best to you all, and hope life is treating you great too! 😀

– Jefe

Quarter of a Century Birthday, Thesis Result, & My First Interview !!

Hidey-ho!

So it’s been almost a month since I last wrote, apparently. And nothing too important or noteworthy has really occurred in that time. Like I read somewhere, (I’m paraphrasing) “The passing of time is always so surprising, but it shouldn’t be, since it’s literally the most expected thing.” That’s not to say that I haven’t enjoyed this past month or had good times or made great memories, and it certainly wasn’t a waste… But still. I’ve been stuck at home, jobless, meaningless, adventure-less. It’s not all that dire, but it’s not what I’d prefer, if I had my druthers. But maybe it’s my chrysalis stage, going through this metamorphosis and change and growth process between finishing my Master’s degree and landing a quality, fulfilling job. Perhaps it’s the work and time I have to put in, to provide for and earn a better future. Who knows?

But the good news is that everything’s looking up! I am currently in a rideshare to Montreal, with two very interesting, compelling, free-spirited people, with a Chihuahua sitting on my lap and an adorable border collie beside me. Found this trip for $100, when the train costs $140 minimum and takes literally ten more hours. Sure, it’s kinda nice to experience, the train– it offers great views and the quaint charm of riding the railroads – but the autumnal colours along the highway are just as nice, and 10 hours is a significant portion of time. I wasn’t planning to head up this early, since Bryson gets back today, we have a Kuwait get-together on Thursday, a birthday dinner with the extended family on Friday, and Mum’s retirement party on Saturday. But this landed in my lap, essentially, and why not spend two weeks in Montreal instead of one? I’m staying with friends anyway, couchsurfin’, so it’s not like I’ll be doubling the amount I pay for hostels or anything. So I seized it, and I’m honestly so excited to get there! And see my friends, experience the city anew, revisit my old stomping grounds, walk down memory lane, enjoy some nightlife, play board games, and just live life, you know? Because passing each day, isolated in St Margaret’s Bay, without employment or involvement or people my own age around, having to contend with residing with my parents again – when I’m so used to independence and have lived on my own for the past seven years – ain’t exactly my idea of fun. Of course, it could be much, much worse – but it could also be so much better.

So two Fridays ago, Mum and Dad left to Mexico for a week, leaving me alone and to take care of the dog and the house again. I was super jealous they were going somewhere I’ve been wanting to visit for a while – Mexican food is my fave, I speak Spanish, and the country just attracts me (not to mention the climate and the people!) – and disappointed I wouldn’t have them to hang out with again. I like to play board games (especially Dominion!) and watch movies (particularly horror!) with them, and it’s nice having people around to just chat and interact with. But regardless, I still had a spectacular week, to my surprise. I’ll write more about that later – but what I want to discuss is the lovely Thanksgiving I had!

Cate is one of the few people I still know around Nova Scotia, and actually my oldest friend. We met and became friends when we were four years old, at the Unicorn Theatre, when it was still in Hubbards. And we’ve kept in touch ever since! And our parents hang out, too. They heard that Mum + Dad were abandoning me to go on this exciting tropical vacation, right during the holidays, so they so graciously and generously invited me over to have Thanksgiving dinner with them! And it was such a fantastic time. Rick is an amazing cook, and the food was phenomenal – guacamole, crab dip, salmon dip, sweet potato and curry soup, turkey, mashed potatoes, squash, turnip, peas, corn with peppers, stuffing, gravy, carrots with dill, green beans with sesame oil and Thai seasoning – all homemade! With apple and pumpkin pie for dessert, though I didn’t indulge. I was the only one who got seconds, though – shocking, since everything was so delectable. So it was a more conscientious choice to skip the sweets.

What was even better than the cuisine, though, was the company – which is saying something, since it was a scrumptious, gourmet dinner – but the Ratcliffes are such great people, kindred spirits, that it didn’t surprise me. To be honest, I had forgotten how much I liked them. It had been years since I spent time with Rick and Deborah, and I was so happy to rediscover how well we get along! And with Cate too, of course, naturally.

And in the amazing conversation we had, several things became crystal clear to me. I had been kicking around Nova Scotia, scared to go on a trip or travel anywhere, just in case I got an interview and wouldn’t be able to do it, or on the off chance that I was offered a job and was out of town when I heard the news. Which was just stupid to think, since the job hunt takes time and even if I get an interview, it can be accomplished over the phone or on Skype, and if an organization wants to hire me, then it wouldn’t be for the following day – and they’d be accommodating with the week or two extra I would need. As Deborah helped me realize, the thing holding me back was me, and my own ideas of what I needed to do to be prudent and self-sacrifice to maximize my chances of finding employment.

But when I do land a job – then I won’t have time to travel, probably for many months. And globetrotting/seeing new areas/experiencing new cultures/etc is truly a passion of mine, something I want to do much more of – especially since my big tour of Eastern Europe was cancelled/messed up by my encephalitis. So why am I not booking these trips abroad? I have cash saved up, since I didn’t spend the summer in Glasgow and have been rent-free since I left (thanks to friends, my sister, strangers, extended family, parents, and Camp Rainbow for putting me up/letting me crash on their couches or beds), have nothing but time, have destinations on my to-do list, freedom, an adventurous spirit, the know-how and savvy and wanderlust… So what’s stopping me? Prudence, frugality, the belief that it’s unnecessary, so why spend money and exit my comfort zone when things are good-enough currently and while I should be focusing my efforts on the job hunt and securing a future for myself.

But forget all that! I’m young, wild, and free. Untethered and mobile. And I’m waiting all these weeks to hear back from the many jobs I’ve applied to anyway, and able to write and submit cover letters and CVs from anywhere, and can interview from abroad if those arise – so why not make the interstitial time more enjoyable? So that is what I’m doing. The next two weeks in Montreal are gonna be fantastic. Celebrating my birthday, tearing it up for Halloweekend, and just letting loose again. GAH I’m so excited! Get ready for me, MTL!

Alright. Other updates. Having this long and deep conversation with Deborah also convinced me to just go out and get a job as a server in Bayers Lake. Something to pass the time, get me out of the house, earn me some extra cash. I love waiting tables – it’s social, active, flirty, easy, non-committal, lucrative, fast-paced, and when you leave the restaurant, you don’t have to worry about it! I have tonnes of experience with it, so landing a position will be a breeze, and I could meet people/make friends during. With my coworkers, certainly (who are probably around my age and studying at one of Halifax’s numerous universities), but also the customers. I’ve gotten job offers a surprising amount of times while serving – at Fridays in Pennsylvania, El Patron, Bouddha Bouddha, etc. It’s all about networking, right?

So I will do that, after Montreal and if nothing pans out by then. However, I applied for two jobs at the Canadian Centre for Gender & Sexual Diversity (CCGSD) – as the Forums (Conferences) Coordinator and Sports Inclusion Coordinator – and their hiring process is transparent and accelerated. They mention the deadline on the ads (October 17^th), as well as the anticipated start date and when they’ll be performing the interviews, which is the 20^th and 21^st. And even better than that (which is fab to begin with) – I’ve gotten responses about both the positions! The former has postponed their interviews until November 3^rd, which Dad says is a good sign, since it suggests they haven’t received many applications for it. So I’m hopeful that I’ll be selected for one, since I’ve already interviewed with this organization before, when it was called Jer’s Vision – and this was back in October of 2014! I’m much more qualified now. So, fingers crossed.

AND, for the other post, I have gotten an interview! My first one in this chapter of the job hunt! Yay! I’ve been applying for jobs “only” for 6-7 weeks this time around, so it’s not like it’s been a ridiculous amount of time – even if it often feels like that. But I’m ecstatic about this one! And it’s taking place tomorrow morning! So I’ll have a good sense about it very soon. Wish me luck, really. I’m not sure if I need it, but I’ll take anything I can get! This position involves creating, developing, and facilitating workshops with sports teams and athletic organizations around Ontario, to address and challenge homophobia and transphobia. I had to include a lesson plan/sample workshop with the job application, which I feel good about – so I’m already prepared for it! And am confident in my qualifications and that I’ll be a great fit! So I’m hoping tomorrow goes really well. That’d be a wonderful way to start off my time in Montreal, and a marvelous birthday present! Since after all, today is my 25^th birthday. Here’s the lil thinkpiece/self-reflection/mini blog post I penned when I updated my Facebook pro-pic at midnight:

“It’s my 25th birthday! Quarter of century!

And looking back on the past 25 years, I can honestly say I love how life has turned out. I’ve visited 30 countries, living in five of them, and I speak three languages. I’ve experienced 17 years of education and achieved a high school diploma, Bachelor of Arts, and Master of Science. I have (and have had) absolutely amazing friends, phenomenal family, and priceless memories. Two serious relationships, two passports, zero broken bones, third degree burns, encephalitis, depression, asthma, cystic acne, and a fall from a chairlift, 20 feet in the air.

I love to read, to travel, meeting new people and hanging out with them, parties, horror movies, board games, Mexican food, roller coasters, thrill-seeking, words, languages, Nintendo, swimming, the sun, hiking, EDM, adventure, reality TV (The Challenge, Big Brother, The Real World), social justice, feminism, queerness…. The list goes on. I’m an upbeat, excitable, outgoing, fiery person – but introspective, shy, quiet, low-key, and brooding on other occasions. As Whitman said, “I am large; I contain multitudes” – and, like everybody, I’m in a state of flux.

Especially these days. I think this birthday represents a watershed in my life. I’ve had some fantastic jobs before that I’ve enjoyed to the fullest (on the ropes course and at the various Camps), but I have yet to truly start a career. I found out this past week that I earned a “very good” on my thesis, meaning I’m graduating with an MSc in Equality & Human Rights. I’ve been applying to jobs, mostly with LGBTQ+ non-profits and NGOs, truly hoping to find a position I feel good and fulfilled about, and where I can put my passion to work.

As most of you know, the job hunt sucks, but it’s looking up already. Just yesterday I got my first interview, for the Sports Inclusion Coordinator (workshop developer and facilitator) with the Canadian Centre for Gender and Sexual Diversity in Ottawa. I hesitate to say, but it sounds pretty damn ideal, I feel confident about my qualifications, and I have my fingers crossed tight that I get it. Wish me luck!

Here’s to another 25 years, and – hopefully, with any luck – a fulfilling, exciting, and productive year (and job) ahead of me!

But for now – a long rideshare & a fab visit to Montreal! ❤ ”

Alright, this is getting to be long enough. I’ll do a quick ‘n’ dirty update of other things that’ve happened since I wrote last:

• I played Dominion: Seaside for the first time! With my friend Dustin, who I’ve recently met – and who I’m honestly so happy to know! He was one of the main reasons my week without Mum and Dad was so good. Seaside was phenomenal, love the Duration mechanic, and we met up twice more that week. He had a friend from Belgium visiting, Daniel, so the three of us played Carcassonne: Hunters & Gatherers, Love Letter, Tsuro, 31, and Queens – the last two being card games. I had been wanting to try LL and Tsuro for a while, since I had heard/read lots about them – and they were pretty alright! A touch simplistic for my taste, but still fun. And then the third time, we took the dog for a mini-walk.
• I watched the Evil Dead remake with another new friend, Ndaku (from Zimbabwe). And OH MAN was it the perfect Halloween/horror movie! Gory, fast-paced, exciting, scary, a bit funny, creepy, eye-catching. A pleasant surprise for sure. So that was fun!
• Logan Smith/James is having a Halloween/Horror Movie Marathon on October the 30^th. I was trying to find somewhere to have mine, since I do it annually – but this is better! He came to my first official one, back in 2010, and I trust he’ll do a good job 🙂 We’ll be watching The Witch, Goodnight Mommy, Don’t Breathe, and hopefully The Conjuring 2. Can’t wait!
• I went to Crystal Crescent Beach Provincial Park after dropping Mum and Dad at the airport. It’s a gorgeous green area, with white sand beaches, great hiking trails, and superb sea vistas. There’s also a clothing-optional section, so I checked that out – my first experience at such a place! And I enjoyed it. Lots of body acceptance and positivity. People – who did not look like models at all, older and overweight – just enjoying the warmth from the sun and the sound of the waves crashing without worrying about what they looked like to other people. There’s something so liberating in that! And the day I went was just perfect – 25° and sunny. I finished reading Cleary Wolters’ Out of Orange: A Memoir, listened to two episodes of the Brain Candy Podcasts, and explored the walking trails. Just a wonderful day all around.
• I started watching Big Brother! The second Canadian season, to be exact. And I love it so damn much – really don’t know why I didn’t get into it before. I even seriously considered applying to be on it – and I’m still open to it, honestly – but I like being outdoors so much that I don’t know if I could last for seventy-five days in one building. Still, I think I’d be a great character/player on it. So – I’ll keep it in my back pocket. I will be applying for Amazing Race, though, as a single player (to be paired with someone else), and I still have my hopes to appear on The Challenge. We’ll see though. Like the late and great Diem Brown said, “Career first.”
• Bryson got me the Smash Bros DLC (downloadable content) for my birthday/Christmas present (this year or last? Who knows?), and I was so geeked about it! I’ve loved learning to play with Mewtwo, Lucas, Roy, Ryu, Cloud, Bayonetta, and Corrin – especially when I’m with Bryson! Can’t wait to repeat the experience in November, after I get back Montreal. I was also playing more Twilight Princess and enjoying that. Beat the Arbiter’s Grounds and reached the Snowpeak Ruins. Also looking forward to returning to that later on.
• OH OH MY GAWD I ALMOST FORGOT. I got the results of my thesis back! And I earned a B3, making my average for the MSc program between a B3 and a B2. I was expecting and hoping for a higher mark on my dissertation, but I won’t even get into that now – since I’ve exhausted myself complaining about it to numerous other people already, and it’s a moot point now. I’m graduating with honours, a B means “very good,” grad school ain’t easy, writing a thesis is a true accomplishment, and I’ve earned a friggen Master of Science – so why dwell on the past? I can live with it, and I daresay I’m a little proud. Plus, like I heard from so many people, nobody (i.e. employers) cares about grades in grad school anyway…. So, YAY! GO ME! And I may even be attending the actual ceremony, IN SCOTLAND, if one of these jobs has not panned out by then. I’ve been looking at flights, and while they’re not stellar, I do have money saved up, miss my friends from Glasgow, and would like to travel. Participating in the graduation would be cool too. But we’ll see about that, with how the interview goes tomorrow!
• Finally, my good friend Jess R, from high school, works at an organization in Brooklyn called Make the Road New York, and loves it. They’re currently hiring, seeking an administrative assistant, and of course I applied. I’m quite sure she thinks highly of me and has some hand in the decision-making process for who is selected to fill the position – so I have a good feeling about that too. When it rains, it pours, right?

Aiiitte, anyway. We’re in Quebec now and have been on the road for about nine hours so far. Meaning Montreal’s probably only 3 or 4 hours away! Yay!

For now, I’m gonna go read more of Flowers in the Attic, or maybe watch some TV. Unfortunately not BBCan, since I’ve been streaming that from global.ca, but either The Challenge: Battle of the Sexes I or House of Cards Season 3…. Or AHS: Hotel, but I’ve seen two episodes of it so far, and it honestly doesn’t draw me in enough to want to continue watching it. But it is (Sh)October, after all, so….

Hope all y’all are well! ❤ Sending my love.

– Jefe

Fears of the Future; A Weekend at the Cottage; New Thrill-Seeking Adventures; The Challenge; & Other Ramblings

Jambo,

 

Well, I have the house to myself again. Mum is away in Cape Breton (I swear, that woman can’t stay in one place for more than three days, it’s ridonculous), and Dad is in Toronto for a night on business. I drove him to the airport early this morning – leaving at 4:40am – since I was planning to see my sibling Bryson today and thus needed the car. However, it’s already past four in the afternoon, and they still haven’t messaged me! So frustrating, since I’m structuring my day around going into Halifax. I’m annoyed, have no idea what’s keeping them so busy – but I guess j’ai des autres trucs à faire anyway. So I’ll write a blog update!

I finished and turned in my thesis last Wednesday, and I don’t really know what to do with my time now. To be honest, applying for jobs and gazing into the future scares me. While I have moved to completely new areas/countries without knowing a single person before – twice, to Montreal in 2009 and Glasgow last September – and had much success with it, it still isn’t easy. It’s running way away from your comfort zone and starting from scratch. Sure, it presents incomparable opportunities, but it’s difficult to adjust and can be hugely lonely at the beginning. So the idea of a fancy new job in some hip new city does excite me, and I’m open to numerous global regions – meaning more travel and exploration and cultures to experience – but joining the work force and leaving the comfort of my “home” here in Nova Scotia… I’m hesitant about that. I will start the job hunt soon, but for now – I think I’ve merited some relaxation. Even if I had stayed productive since finishing the thesis and haven’t really kicked back, since my parents tend to nag me – or just remind me of things there are to be done around the house. I do want to help out more, but since I have contrarian tendencies – I hate being told what to do.

So I’ve cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen and hung clothes out and mowed the lawn – which was a huge undertaking, surprisingly, and rubbed the skin raw on my palms, which is excruciating now, when anything touches it, even if it’s just warm water! – and tidied up my room and unpacked and organized and everything. I started calisthenics again and patched things up after a bad argument I had with my sister and responded to some important emails etc.

This past weekend, Mum and Dad went to a family friend’s cottage down on Molega Lake, and I met them there on Saturday afternoon. It was an amazing weekend. I kayaked, stopped on a deserted island and read The Girl on the Train while soaking in the sun, went for a long solo swim, ate well, made some killer mojitos, hung out with my parents and their friends, taught them how to play Werewolves, and even helped build an outhouse there. Only by hammering down siding, sure – but considering I wasn’t keen on construction, I think my assistance with it counts for something.

Most significantly, my pal Brendan and I went to this rope swing on a different lake, and it was phenomenal. Sure, I’m still a bit sore from the exertion – I must’ve swung 50+ times – but it was worth it. While I am traditionally a little phobic, I love thrill-seeking activities. So I was nervous to try it, but am so happy I did. Had a tonne of fun and got a good workout, to boot. I never quite managed to do a dive off the rope or backflip from it, as Brendan did (and was coaching me on how to), but I did hang upside down like Spider-Man and didn’t let my fear stop me from continuing to try those tricks.

AND! Brendan the JungleBoy/MonkeyMan he is, climbed the tree from which the rope hangs – between 20 and 30 feet over the water – and jumped off! There was a steep drop-off right after the shore, so the water was deep enough, but even still, it looked intense. He was trying to get me to do the same, and since I wasn’t trying to be craven, I told him to show me how to climb it. He told me to “walk the plank,” or just cross on this flat piece of wood to the tree. Seemed simple enough, so I obliged. He then instructed me to get up on the first branch, which was pretty high off the ground. B is taller than I, so I struggled with it when he made it look easy. I did get up there, finally, and despite my protests, he kept “encouraging” me up – AKA blocking me from descending and cheering me on. Eventually, I got so high on this spindly-ass tree that it would be more difficult and treacherous to climb down than to just get to the top and jump off. So that’s what I did, gripping these nails that were driven into the tree, my stomach in my throat, shaking and REALLY hoping I didn’t slip off – because that would’ve ended in a broken leg or a fractured skull, no doubt. It was super sketchy and made me nauseous with anxiety – and I didn’t jump off that far from the top of the tree, so where I landed was rather shallow. All in all, a spectacularly stupid idea for me to do, but fortunately, I didn’t get hurt, and it was thrilling. So, no regrets, it was great for some Instagram photos, but I 85% wouldn’t do it again.

Well, Bryson finally responded, but it’s already 5:30, they’re tired and having a self-care day, and I really don’t know what I should do. I don’t want to just stay here all day, alone. Maybe I’ll go see Don’t Breathe at the cinema (heard it’s great!) or play some Zelda: Twilight Princess or take a drive or… No idea. But I want to get in a better mood. That it’s overcast doesn’t help.

This is another reason why I should get on the job hunt. I hardly know anybody around here. Brendan left for Montreal yesterday, Bryson works five days a week… But my friend Cate still lives here! I just sent her a message, so with a little luck, that might work out! That would be nice 🙂

Let’s just wrap up here then.

Anna and Mark, my aunt and uncle, gave our family the Prosperity expansion of Dominion, a strategy game we all adore. This was more than two weeks ago, though, and we haven’t yet played. Mum’s always away and/or tired, and while you can play with just two people, it’s not as fun. I might tear into that today and learn its rules, so we can try it out soon. I’m “chomping at the bit” to experience it – so keep your fingers crossed!

My time in Ohio with the extended family was wonderful. I’m disappointed I won’t be returning there for my grandmother’s memorial service, but I imagine it would be much sadder and more emotional then anyway. And my parents need a house- and dog-sitter too, so I can be of service to them. Hopefully I do get to hang out with my cousins Nick & Elisabeth another time soon either way – it had previously been six years, which is much too long. So I’ll hope for that.

We were going to go to Cedar Point, one of North America’s pre-eminent theme parks, when we were there, but unfortunately that never occurred. Elisabeth had band camp, so the only day we all could’ve gone was a weekend – which would have been ludicrously busy, and I wasn’t crazy about waiting 2+ hours to ride a single roller coaster, especially in the August heat. Instead, Nick, Lynne (which Lynden goes by now), Mum, and I went to Zoombezi Bay, a much cheaper and closer water park in Columbus, and had a fab time there. Wave pools, water playgrounds, and some really adventurous slides – of both the body and tube variety. My favourite was the Cyclone, which L, N, and I could all ride at once. We went down a steep drop and into this enormous funnel, riding high up on both sides and screaming our heads off. So much crazy fun. There was another that was similar, too: a steep drop followed by going up another incline, like a skateboarding halfpipe. Nick and I did that twice and loved it. The lazy river was a bit lame, but it was an amazing day for all of us.

I went swimming at Indian Lake one day too, and Lynne’s dog Daisy came and joined me, which was cute. Nick, Mum, and I thrifted another day, and I scooped up a nice pair of boat shoes and this sick leather jacket for $10. It was fantastic. Thanks, Goodwill! We played board games and video games too – Bonzai and Dominion (with the Intrigue expansion) and Alhambra, and Nick and Elisabeth were impressed with how I play Smash Bros. I went biking around Russell’s Point and Dublin, explored Hayden Run Falls, and even cliff-jumped at Indian Run Falls. Elisabeth had told me about it, and I watched many others do it before I gave it a shot. I went without shoes on, and even though I didn’t do a pencil-dive or anything, my feet still hit the rocks at the bottom. And then afterward, climbing back up to the path was precarious, involving some legit lite rock climbing, when it was slicked down by mud and moisture. So I didn’t let my 13-year-old cousin do it after me, haha! His mom wouldn’t’ve been happy with me if I did, either. But I loved it.

I also watched the finale of The Challenge: Rivals III while there, but unfortunately didn’t win the Fantasy League. I placed third in my league, but only first came with a prize. I should’ve switched from Vince to Bananas in the episode with the Camila-Tony meltdown and put Sarah as my first pick, not Bananas, for the finale – since I knew she would cry a bunch (meaning more points!). I wanted and tried to do both but didn’t manage to in time. C’est la vie. A trip for two to Mexico would’ve been amazing, but I can live without it – or pay for it myself, if I was dying to go there anyway. I’m excited about the next season too, of course, which starts filming in early October. I’ve seriously thought about how to get Bunim/Murray Productions to cast me for it – but I honestly don’t think it’s possible at all. Sure, they cast Camila even though she wasn’t on Real World, Road Rules, Fresh Meat, or Are You the One (she competed on the Spring Break Challenge), meaning there might be precedent – but my likelihood of getting on is essentially nil. And I’m not straight enough to go on AYTO and no longer desire to appear on Real World, so maybe I should just give up. Unless they have another Fresh Meat season (not gonna happen, since they just involved all these new faces with the Bloodlines) or revive Road Rules (unlikely). Probably for the best I don’t go on national television anyway. I don’t have much of anything to hide and consider myself a good, well-behaved person – but the cameras roll 24/7, and nobody’s infallible. I don’t want my flaws broadcasted country- or worldwide, so it’s safer just to stay at home, and earn a living the traditional, honest way. Even if that might not be exciting, exotic, or glamorous. *sigh*

Guess that’s good enough for now. I’ll probably finish Girl on the Train tonight and try to set up my new (used) Kindle Paperwhite tomorrow. Any suggestions for good books? I don’t care for fantasy or sci-fi, and my favourite genre is probably memoir or true-to-life novels of people suffering through hard times/afflictions and growing through the process.

Hope your day’s going better than mine! 🙂

Ciao for now.

 

– Jefe

Goodbye Glasgow, One Night in Oslo, & Welcome Back USA

Hey y’all,

So I’m in the midst of a lot of turbulence right now. Personally, I mean – although I am on an airplane, bound from Oslo to New York City. I moved away from Glasgow yesterday morning, flew to Norway, and spent the night there. And MAN was it expensive! I booked the Oslo-NYC flight because it was the cheapest way I could find/figure out to get from around Glasgow to around Washington DC, but eventual destination. But with how much I had to pay to check a bag on both the Ryanair flight over and this one, in addition to overage charges (since my bag was 25kg, five kilos over the limit, despite me throwing out/donating a bunch of things) for both – a ludicrous £10 per extra kilo for Ryanair, in addition to the $70 Canadian I had to pay to check a suitcase in the first place – plus the cab to Buchanan bus station (£6), the shuttle to the Edinburgh airport (£11.40), the bus from the Rygge airport (140NOK, with the student discount), the train to the Gardemom airport (92NOK), my bunk in a 30-person room (220NOK), linens for that bed (50NOK), and food I had to buy… I REALLY don’t think it works out cheaper than if I had booked a direct flight from Glasgow to somewhere in the American Northeast. Plus that would’ve been hella more convenient. Since I moved out of Glasgow, left my room completely empty and turned in my keys and all that, I had to take everything with me. Meaning my bags are stuffed to the gills and resultingly very heavy. On top of the 25kg/55lbs in my checked bag, I also have two carry-ons, one weighing 9.5kg, the other 11.5. So in all, I have about 100lbs of stuff to lug around with me, despite trying my best to get rid of things I didn’t truly want or need. Super annoying, and my back and head hurt as a result.

When I get to New York/JFK, it’s not like that’s the end of it, either. I’m staying with Jamie Juchniewicz, who has graciously offered to let me crash on her couch in Brooklyn for three days. Obviously can’t wait for that, and am excited to see her and explore NYC more than I have previously. Then I’m taking the Bolt Bus (thanks for the tip, Dad!) to Washington DC, and staying with a variety of couchsurfers for the remainder of the month, doing research and performing interviews with activists, NGO workers, advocates, and politicians for my Master’s thesis. Interestingly, the predominance of the people who have offered to host me are gay. That’s right – offered; I didn’t request them or anything, but merely just made my trip to DC public, and the offers came rolling in. I mentioned how I’m researching LGBTQI+ issues while in the capital, so I guess that might explain why dudes in DC have come off so welcoming so far. It’s really great, actually – though I hope I don’t get into (m)any awkward situations with them…

Then in early July, it’s off to Pennsylvania to see my dear sister and other friends, and hopefully to work at Camp Rainbow (a summer camp for disadvantaged youth) for two weeks or so. My parents are driving down from Nova Scotia in mid-July to spend some time in Ohio, and they may pick me (and possibly Lynden) up en route so we can join in the experience. Of course, I’d love to see my extended family (and especially my ailing grandmother) again, and I have warm memories about summers in Ohio – so I’m hoping that works out. They plan to spend three or four weeks there, which would be cool, but I may take a bus/train/plane to Montreal earlier in order to see friends.

Finally, I’ll end up back in Nova Scotia, most likely around the beginning of August… Actually, the way things are looking, it might not be until mid-August. Which might not be ideal, since I was planning on using the solitude and simple life my parents’ house in St. Margaret’s Bay offers to really focus and buckle down on my thesis. It’s due September 1^st, after all, and I obviously need to take it seriously. So I guess we’ll see how it’s going throughout the summer, if I’m able to hammer through it or not, before I concretely decide if Camp Rainbow and Montreal are in the stars for me. Ohio, however, is essentially a non-negotiable, for reasons I won’t really address in a public forum like this. It’s also a rare opportunity – my family has spent summers in Ohio before, but with how busy and spread out we’ve all become in recent years, what with jobs, boyfriends, university, international trips, etc – it’s nigh impossible to organize something like that again. And with that being said, I doubt Bryson will be able to swing it, unfortunately, since they currently have two jobs back in Halifax (yay, Bryson!). Potentially Lynden too, who may have found employment by then as well. I’m really hoping at least one of them can make it, but even without them, I’ll be going. I don’t want to miss out on this, and I do get along with my parents and extended family. Plus, I have some cousins there, even if they are about ten years my junior… Point is, I’ll be going to Ohio. May have to sacrifice a week of Rainbow to do so, but we’ll see how it all works out.

And I’m about done complaining now. The long and short of it is that Norway was expensive (but also amazing) and possibly not even worth the money I saved on this plane ticket, because of all the fees I’ve had to pay in the past couple days. BUT WHATEVER, because I got to experience a great city, visit another country (and global region, I suppose!), and hindsight is 20/20. Money is made to be spent, and I’m fortunate enough to not be in dire risk of going broke, so really, what’s the issue? I’ll earn cash in other ways in the future – hopfully (and probably?) at a higher rate, too, with this Master’s degree I’m getting – and I am saving money by not paying for the overpriced Glasgow accommodation until September, with the extensive couchsurfing I’m doing in the coming month, and if I hitch a ride back to Canada with my parents. Plus, I’m quite sure that food and everything is cheaper back in North America, compared to the UK. So there’s no reason to stress out about everything… Oslo is considered the most expensive city in the world, and I still managed to do it relatively affordably. So, essentially: quit yer bitchin’, Jefe! Life is grand!

And it’s true. It’s June, summer’s here, and I’m in store for a whole litany of exciting adventures. Catching up with a lot of people, meeting new ones, seeing novel places and collecting new experiences, spending time with my family, and fingers crossed, obtaining rich and interesting data for my dissertation! And having luck in expressing all of it in a well-written, informed, and theoretical way, so I can get an A for the thesis and potentially even “with Distinction” for my degree. Guess we’ll see though.

Hmm… So. Despite all this globetrotting, exploring, and adventuring, I’m still “gutted” (Glaswegian for devastated) to leave Glasgow behind – and the people there I care about, more importantly. In typical Jefferson fashion, I had three going away events: a raucous rager last Saturday, a more modest soiree on Wednesday (featuring Dice and True American!), and a Last Supper potluck on my final night. Naturally, I enjoyed all of them, and I thank all of my pals who made the effort to attend! Fun was had by all at both the parties – and particularly the first one, which was bigger, better, and lasted longer, and which Andrea (who generously hosted the fete) stated was the best party they ever had in the flat. But I especially loved the final potluck. Everyone had a good time, the food was yummy, and a sense of bonhomie characterized the whole night. I really liked having everyone there – just chatting, hanging out, and enjoying each other’s company.

It was the perfect way to end my time in Glasgow – which turned out to be better than I ever imagined. Considering I was only going to be there for a year, I didn’t have the highest hopes of meeting people, making a home for myself, or forming life-long bonds with truly wonderful friends. But I dove in head first, was very outgoing and friendly, lived outside my comfort zone, volunteered to be the programme representative for my Equality & Human Rights course, tried out new hobbies (weightlifting, squash, volunteering), and ran for election to a committee, miraculously winning against the incumbent by only one vote (after previously losing when I attempted to be the Postgraduate & Mature Students Officer). I made new connections and relationships throughout all these contexts, activities, and positions (especially the GULGBTQ+ crew) – and the only true regrets I have from my time in Glasgow are from not spending enough time with certain people, especially one-on-one. Eoghan, Erika, Maren, Kirsten, Megan, Mathew, Alex M, Nacho, Arthur, Christina, Machar, Sophie, Katherine, Milena, Paige – you (and others) are all included in this category. But I don’t doubt that we’ll see each other in the future! As they say, the world is small.

I know I will miss Glasgow, my routines from there, the people, the places/sights/architecture, the culture. The free Waitrose coffee, the gym membership, my flatmates, the gorgeous walk to university, the free museums, how tax is included in the price, how you don’t (really) need to tip (much), the proximity to other exciting countries, the universal health care, the city rent-a-bikes… I might not feel it yet/maybe it hasn’t hit me, but it was a great place to live for almost nine months. And for that I am grateful.

Of course, I won’t miss everything, and I’m excited to be back stateside soon (and I will be on American soil when I post this update online!). I more readily understand the currency, and things are cheaper (t)here. I don’t need adapters to plug things in, and the voltage won’t fry/break things I own. The accent is easier for me, and I have more knowledge of the culture and social customs in North America. Less rain, and I can access US websites (especially MTV.com, with my obsession with The Challenge). Good Mexican food, groceries I’m familiar with, and most importantly – loved ones I haven’t seen in a long time. So it’ll be a nice homecoming. I’m excited about it.

I suppose I’ll wrap this update up by discussing what I did with my abbreviated time in Oslo. I struggled with my bags to find the hostel, but I walked along some beautiful areas in so doing. This great path beside a little brook, an area that reminded me a lot of Tam Tams (electronic music playing, people dancing, hula hoops, everyone feeling great, all outdoors), numerous green spaces – and all of these sites were populated by people spending time outside, lying in the grass, soaking in the sun, having little picnics, drinking some beers or wine, and enjoying the warm weather and the weekend. It was amazing to walk through, to witness all this simple happiness. I returned to the park after dropping my stuff off, and sat watching all these people, munching on the chili cruspies Martje gave me (yum! thanks!), and enthralled with the superb summer feeling present everywhere. I loved it.

I then wandered around the town and passed so many people out on the town and enjoying their balmy Saturday nights. Eating or drinking on outdoor terraces, mingling on the sidewalk, hanging out in bars, seated in the city’s many parks. It was phenomenal. I happened upon a live concert (apparently for H&M’s Musikfest), and the music was serendipitously one of my favourite genres – house/EDM with strong female vocals. In English, too, so I could understand the lyrics! Amazing. I walked around until around 11:30 – it was still way light out – and then returned to the hostel to shower and sleep. After waking up early, hurriedly finishing packing and cleaning up after the dinner party and making sure my room was spotless and triple checking to see I didn’t forget anything and returning my keys, and then a long day of traveling and finding my way through the city and dragging ~100lbs of stuff around, even the budget bunk bed felt fantastic. So I slept in, knowing I needed my energy for today.

Then this morning, I stowed my bags away in luggage storage (my laptop and passports in a safety deposit box…), grabbed a 10NOK cappuccino from a machine in the lobby (such a bargain!), and headed out to explore the city. I got a banh mi (Vietnamese baguette sandwich) because they are one of my favourite foods and it was relatively cheap, at 69NOK (~£7.50 or $10 US, maybe). Then I meandered to the city park which boasts a ridiculous amount of sculptures by Gustav Vigeland, including that one with the man fighting off/kicking all these babies that you may have seen online. The sheer number on display was ridiculous, and each of them was impressive in its own right. The most notable work was a central column, maybe 35 feet high, of all these writhing bodies on top of each other, expertly sculpted in sandstone. Oh, and did I forget to mention that every statue is nude in this park? Yeah. It was a sight to behold.

After strolling this park and once again marvelling at all the city folk lying out in the grass and sunbathing, I headed downtown. I was running out of time but still wanted to explore the city center a bit before leaving. The coolest part was probably these warehouses I discovered, one filled with a whole skate park from the Oslo X-Games, with all these people (and kids!) roller-skating, scootering, and skateboarding away, showing off their tricks and generally being impressive. The other warehouse featured a roller derby expo, with lessons and a practice arena for the wee ones. How awesome is that?! And outside these two rad rooms were all these rails and monkey bar-like things, with children playing – and, more compellingly and attractively, all these hugely muscular people performing all these acrobatics, exercises, and maneuvers on them. They wowed me, and I didn’t know if I wanted to be them or be with them. The three areas were all very cool, and I wish I could’ve stayed longer to witness all the talent and thirst-trappery on display.

But I was running out of time and still had lots of ground to cover. I walked down this promenade by the sea, with lots of restaurant terraces, pedestrians, and booths set up. Snagged a free cup of green smoothie and an amuse-bouche of seafood soup from sponsors, both of which were yummy. Then I found the Nobel Peace Center, which is of obvious interest to me, as a Human Rights student. I managed to peek inside, too, and saw articles on Raif Badawi, a Saudi Arabian man jailed for establishing a website that allowed for liberal discussion of Islam and Saudi values. As part of an assignment for my Critical Perspectives of Human Rights class, I actually championed Raif, recommending him to receive the Sakharov Prize this year – and he actually did! So that was exciting to see. I recognized some other people too, including Edward Snowden, Malala, Martin Luther King Jr, and Nelson Mandela. Wish I would’ve had time to explore the whole museum, but unfortunately, that’s all I could take in.

I then saw City Hall (ugly), the Norwegian Parliament (beautiful), and strolled down Karl Johans Gate (which I assumed to be the central shopping street), found Central Station (good to know for later!), viewed the Opera House, and by that time, I was running way late. So I hustled back to the hostel, ate a doner kebab on the way (which was overwhelming – essentially just cheap meat mixed with spicy mayonnaise, with some jalapenos, corn, and onion thrown in for good measure, not particularly tasty, and it upset my stomach), grabbed my luggage, and rushed down to the train station. By some small miracle, I caught the train to the airport with only four minutes to spare. Woohoo! AND, when I arrived at “Oslo Lufthavn,” I only had to pay 360NOK for my overweight bag (cheaper than Ryanair’s exorbitant £50)! The agent warned me that they only allowed one carry-on at 10kg onto the flight, though, but I figured I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. And when I was stopped from boarding, all I had to do was show the receipt for what I paid for the extra kilos in my checked bag, and that did the trick! I consider myself lucky for that as well 🙂

Now I’m on the plane – a really nice one, actually, a Norwegian Dreamliner – which has TVs in the headrests and free movies! It’s great to be on a deluxe plane again, after so many Ryanair/Easyjet/Vueling bargain flights. Gonna finish the second season of House of Cards now and then try to nap – the sun was very intense today, and I’m feeling exhausted.

Until next time! And welcome home to me! 😀 [And I’m posting this at 8:30am “my time.” I made it safely to Bushwick and I’m so excited to sleep]

– Jefe

Bureaucratic Bollocks, Running Out of Time in Glasgow, & Peering Into the Future

Hey homies,

So my return to Glasgow has been a bit stressful – I definitely hit the ground running. So much to accomplish in such a hurry, and it hasn’t been fun. Also, being on vacation put me in that “summer mode” (even if I was editing a final paper during the trip), and it’s been difficult getting back into the productive, university-minded way of things. I’ve struggled with focusing and motivation, and completing my ethics proposal for my dissertation took a lot longer than I would’ve preferred. It was also just a bear of an assignment to fill out – eighteen pages of the app form (which required a lot of reflection, introspection, and thorough thinking about possible risks and benefits and methodologies and etc….) AND I needed to submit a consent form, plain language form, and interview questions. It was definitely more than I expected, and considering it’s a four-week turn-around after you submit it before you can start actually doing research/performing interviews, I had to turn it in, like, last week, but I only managed to email my supervisor with all the required documents yesterday.

I can’t lie, it feels great to have it in, and it was wonderful to have a productive day yesterday, FINALLY – but with that huge nuisance of bureaucracy out of the way, I’m not really sure what to do with my time. And since I only have EIGHTEEN DAYS left of my time in Glasgow, I was feeling way melancholy earlier. I’m not ready to leave this city/country, even if I am excited about the future. I have made some really great friends here, gotten into some routines, and with the weather improving at last, it’s gonna be hard saying goodbye. Of course, it’s the people I will miss most – Laura, Klara, Christina, Matus, Martje, Mo, Makisha, everyone on the GULGBTQ+ committee, all those lovely queer/ally folks in  the society (Maddy, Jo, Jo, & Jo, Jemma, Machar, Sophie, Jamie, Jess),  Arthur, Vladimir, Dev, Elizaveta, Antonia, Eoghan, Erika, Nacho, Manyu, Canelle, my great class/program-mates Maren, Milena, Katherine, Leigh, Nina, Jenny, Sirri, Ailsa, Angela, Paige… There’s too many to name specifically, and I undoubtedly forgot some people. Apologies if so. But yeah, it’s gonna be tough uprooting myself from my life here, even if the future is bright.

And before I leave Scotland, there’s more bureaucratic bollocks I have to wade through. I apparently need to apply to depart this country and return to one where I’m a citizen, which seems a bit unnecessary to me. I’ll probably need to do some corrections or edits on my ethics application. Selling things I won’t be taking with me, packing up, cleaning the flat, and returning the keys. Applying for and procuring travel insurance for both my research and health when I’m in the US, since I’ve been unlucky with my physical wellbeing and because my dissertation is evidently exempt from the university policy, since I will be interviewing people who are not residents of the UK. Attending another follow-up appointment with the neurologist at the hospital, to ascertain if I am truly out of the woods with this MERS garbage. I was supposed to receive another MRI to prove that the lesion is completely gone, and the doctors told me they’d send me a letter with the date of that appointment… However, I got home from the library yesterday to a message from the radiology department, telling me to call them to set up a time for the MRI. I dutifully obliged today, and OF COURSE, there’s no available slots before my appointment with Dr. Shah – which they wanted, so he could review the results with me when we do meet – or even until after I leave for North America. So, that’s just great, innit? They were supposed to book the date and then inform me of when to show up, and now it won’t happen until I’m in North America… And probably not until I get to Nova Scotia, in mid-to-late-July. So frustrating.

I also have an appointment with a physiotherapist this Thursday, for the sciatica/pinched nerve, which is manifesting nigh-constant pain in my leg. Fortunately, the symptoms have been milder since my trip to Germany and the Netherlands – I’ve heard from numerous people and online sources that staying active actually helps the pain, counterintuitively, instead of exacerbating it. So exploring those cities and walking around all day long – as opposed to the sedentary lifestyle I lead here in Glasgow, always in front of computers researching/wasting time/writing papers – definitely diminished the pain! Yay! It’s not all gone yet, though, so I’m looking forward to meeting this physio. I’ve never been to one before, so it’s also kinda exciting! And maybe it’ll clear up so I can actually go back to the gym, which I miss pretty bad.

What else must I accomplish? Finding a place to stay for my one night in Oslo, which apparently is an overall exorbitant city. McDonald’s cashiers make more than €3000 a month! What is that insanity! Even the train from the airport isn’t cheap. Good thing I’m a student and get a discount on the trip, though. My Norwegian friend Erika tells me there’s exactly one hostel in the city, and from the reviews I’ve gathered that it’s a bit expensive, huge, seems clinical, has zero atmosphere, with the most affordable rooms boasting thirty beds. You’d definitely catch a snorer in a room with so many places to sleep… So I’ve been trying to find a CouchSurfing host, especially since my experience in Bremen was so phenomenal with gracious hosts Moe and Nadia, but haven’t had luck yet. Annoying.

Similarly, I still don’t know where I’ll be living when I actually get to Washington, DC. I contacted some subletters today, but most of the ads I’ve perused feature places located far from the downtown area. I’m not trynna live 40 minutes by car away from the city center, especially since I’m only in DC for a finite time. I wanna live it up when I’m there – but also not waste time on the commute, that could be dedicated to interviewing or transcribing or coding my data… It’s worrying me a bit, since my arrival there is fast approaching, but I suppose I could always stay in a hostel for the first couple nights while I locate a place to live short-term.

Fortunately, I do know where I’m staying when I arrive to NYC! The glorious Jamie Juchniewicz has offered to host me for a couple days at her apartment in Brooklyn, so I’ll spend a couple days in the Big Apple before heading down to below the Mason-Dixon Line. Looking forward to it, too! I’ve been to New York a bunch of times, but I still feel like I haven’t really experienced the city – so can’t wait!

So, what else? I booked travel insurance for my lil trip to Germany and the Netherlands, since I have had bad luck with my health and because my mother would’ve wrung my neck if I didn’t… But they never emailed me the documents detailing my coverage! Granted, I did receive a receipt that I purchased the policy, but it looked just like a store receipt, flimsy AF, and I really didn’t think it would be sufficient if I needed to use the insurance on my travels. Fortunately, nothing happened, but I’m salty that they never sent me what they said they would. So I called today, filed a complaint, and hopefully I’ll get a refund. Probably not, but it’s worth a try.

Blah blah blah, more bureaucracy, that’s probably not that interesting. So I’ll discuss the future instead.

On June 4^th, I bus to Edinburgh then take a flight to Oslo. The following day, I fly to JFK Airport in NYC, stay a couple days with Jamie etc, then take a bus or train down to Washington DC. After I finish a sufficient number of interviews there (I’m aiming for between 10 and 15), I hope to train/bus back up to Pennsylvania, to see my sister and friends. The plan is to work at Camp Rainbow, this summer camp for disadvantaged/deserving youth where I’ve worked for three summers, for two or three weeks. Catch up with friends, earn some cash, spend time outside, work a little (since it’ll be really strange to go a whole summer without a job…), and prove to my bosses there that I’m still a great worker, inspiring educator, fun person, and asset to their company. Afterwards, I’ll probably head up to NYC again, catch a rideshare to Montreal, and stay with my pals Ky, Keidan, and Melissa for a week or two, while transcribing/analysing all the data I had collected. Of course, I’ll also find the time to see all the friends I left behind there, especially Enbal, Julia, Nick Backman, the rest of HP, and hopefully others who are still around in July! Finally, it’ll be back to Nova Scotia, probably by plane but possibly by the 24-hour-train, to stay with sweet ol’ Mum and Dad, relax, and finish up my dissertation. Also looking forward to seeing Bryson, Cate Ratcliffe, and my extended family too! And hitting the local beaches and getting to experience more of Halifax too.

When I get there, I’ll probably start filling out job applications and looking for opportunities for when this thesis is over and done with. My old boss Craig Erb said I’m always welcome back at the high ropes course in Pennsylvania, and I absolutely adore that work… But it also requires having a car, and renting one for a month or two is not the cheapest, especially since I’m still under 25. Not sure if I could stay with Lynden and Dustin, either, since they’re no longer in our previous family home but in a new place that they bought themselves. I wouldn’t mind living with them, working the ropes course, and waiting tables at TGI Friday’s again. It’s great money, fun times, worthy involvement, and a means to recoup some of the funds I’ve spent over this year, residing in overpriced accommodation and suffering from the Canadian dollar-British pound exchange rate. But it’s also kinda the same-old, same-old, since that’s what I did the two previous autumns after McGill and before University of Glasgow. I’d rather move to a new city with a shining, exciting job opportunity doing something I can feel good about and really jump into adult life, instead of falling into the same old habits. But we’ll see, I guess!

Alright. It’s 7:30, I’m hungry, and this update is long enough. Maybe it’s not the most interesting, but whatever, I can’t always produce diamonds. Soon, I’ll write about my time in the hospital, my adventures abroad, and the culture shock/linguistic differences between here and back home.

Also, considering I am running out of time in Glasgow QUICK, I don’t think another trip is in the cards. Not like I won’t be doing more exploring this summer, but with how phenomenal Bremen, Groningen, and Amsterdam were, I was hoping to see another European country or two before I left. Dublin’s a slight possibility, but probably not. What I will do, though, is take the ScotRail train to Balloch and explore/experience Loch Lomond, when we have another nice day! Many thanks to my b(i)uddy Kirsten for letting me know this was a possibility! I’ve heard Lomond is absolutely gorgeous, and considering I’ve only been to Glasgow and Edinburgh for a day, I should really see more of Scotland before I jet off. So, I’ll do that, and I’ll also check out the Riverside Museum. Maybe try a deep-fried Mars Bar and get a munchy box, too – engage in all those Glaswegian things before I have to bid adieu! 😦

Alright y’all, this is plenty. Catch you next time!

– Love from Jefe

Another Year Wiser + Powerlifting

Hey,

Yeah, it’s been a while, I know. But I got another one of those free lattes from Waitrose today, so I’m feeling fiery – and here we go.

It was my birthday this past Monday, the nineteenth, so I am now officially a 24-year-old. Strange to think of myself this way, but really, what’s the difference between 23 and 24? Not much. It’s not one of those landmark birthdays, like I imagine turning twenty-five will be. So no, before you ask, I don’t really feel that different. Or at least, the passing of another birthday has not catalyzed any significant change in me. Naturally, I’m different than I was last October 19th, but these personal developments are more gradual, you know?

Anyway! When I lived in Montreal, I always parlayed my birthday into a full week of festivities. I loved having something different to look forward to each day, and splitting up events like that means that mostly everyone could find something to attend that didn’t conflict with their schedules. Might seem self-involved and egoistic, but “(It’s my birthday and) I’ll do what I want.” However, as I haven’t lived here in Glasgow for too long/haven’t yet established myself in this way, that wasn’t possible.

That’s not to mean that I didn’t celebrate, though! My flatmate Laura’s big day happens to be a week prior to mine, so this past Saturday, we had a flat crawl to commemorate both. Aka one of my favourite events to participate in, and something I have much experience planning and facilitating. #employable Everyone a grand time, even if it didn’t pan out exactly as planned. More than twenty people came, thanks to the guests we invited bringing their own friends, and this big crowd was a bit too noisy for my neighbours… Even though it was a Saturday at midnight in a student residence, nothing obscene or over the line. So that was irksome, but we still had fun, and I really loved bonding with my flatmates. And the “randoms” that attended weren’t that bad, either!

Anna, one of my German friends who attended the flat crawl, actually had her birthday the following day (and a day prior to mine) – the 18th. So she invited me over for a special dinner, and OMG, it was amazing. She made kaesespaetzle from scratch – which, if you don’t know, is similar to homemade mac ‘n’ cheese and was absolutely phenomenal. I enjoyed the company, the conversation, and of course the meal. A wonderful way to spend a Sunday evening – calm and with friends.

And when I returned home, this warm feeling of bonhomie continued. Right at midnight, my flatmates and I all kicked off my birthday with a toffee cake and some drinks (leftover from the flat crawl) while sitting around the kitchen table. We just chatted, laughed, and enjoyed each other’s company for a while, even though some of us had early classes the next day. It felt really special, and I loved it. I’m lucky to live with these lovely ladies.

Monday, my actual birthday, was less exciting. I slept in, took time eating breakfast and waking up, ran some some errands, and even did some homework. Ugh, that’s how you can tell I’m growing up… I also checked out my new favourite store, Barnardo’s, too, which has all their clothing for only 99p. And it’s not crap clothes either – I got some lululemon yoga pants, a white skinny tie, a light jacket, grey jeans that fit like a glove, and a Diesel button-up, all for less than a pound each! So that was cool.

Then I ended the night by making nachos (my favourite food), watching the finale and reunion special of The Challenge: Cutthroat (an old season of my favourite TV show), and reading The Good Girl (by Mary Kubica) before bed. The simple things, right?

And yesterday, Anna (German), Anton (Swedish), Moe (Icelandic), and I went to see Everest as another birthday festivity. Last summer, I found Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air at this tiny and two-month-old hostel in the small town of Faro, Portugal – so random – and loved it so unexpectedly much. That the film recounts the same disaster, coupled with how much of a “big-screen movie” it is and how its visuals were lauded for being oh-so-dazzling, all but compelled me to see it. The fact that we watched a film about the tallest mountain in the world while in the tallest cinema in the world (12 stories! what!) was also apropos. And it was definitely enjoyable.

What I most certainly didn’t love, though, is how here in the UK, the movie doesn’t start at the posted time. We showed up early so we didn’t miss anything and to get good seats, but both were for naught. The tickets reserve the seats for you, apparently. And instead of a couple previews and then the film ten minutes after, a full half hour of ads plays before it begins. And I’m not talking about fun, high-quality commercials just for the sponsors either, but TV spots for grocery stores, candy bars, and cell phones… Wtf? Why? I paid $14 (that’s the student price, too!) to sit through 30 minutes of ads? So dumb. I prefer it in Canada.

The movie itself was great, though. I recommend it, but know that some scenes pull at your heartstrings and/or make your stomach lurch. Just a “trigger warning,” of sorts. Absolutely phenomenal visuals and effects, though! Earth can be spectacular.

Finally, before I close, I’d like to announce that I’ve (finally) started going to the gym! And am super pumped about it! I’ve been curious about weightlifting again, and membership is included in my rent, so why not? I found a spotting buddy through my flatmate Klara, and we’ve been power-lifting together. That consists of the “Big Three” exercises – bench press, squats, and deadlifts. The aim is to do a weight that allows you to hold good form for five reps, and that’s it. It’s all about gains and bulk, and to help with that, I’ve definitely upped my protein intake. Eggs and yogurt every morning, spinach salads, chickpeas, ham, and peanut butter by the spoonful. I’ve been loving doing this, too. It excites me, and although I’ve only been going for a week, I’ve already seen progress. New year new me, perhaps?

Have a good one y’all,

– Jefe / Jefferson